Red Roses
by birdie7272
Summary: Buffy was resurrected by her friends using some dark, dark magic. All magic has its price. They paid the price in the form of Buffy coming back as the undead thing she used to kill for a living. With a vengeance against the living, it's time the world paid her back for all she did for it. Now she has the power to make it so. Spuffy. Prompt by Emolichic1.
1. Waking Up

This fic is written by request for Emolichic1. I will give credit when it is due. The prompt is from her a - "40 chapter Spuff fic set in S6 of Btvs and during Buffy's resurrection. Buffy comes out of the grave a Vampire and"- anything else I say will give it away. I'll let you know the details she asked for when it comes up in the story. (Sorry if you're not a she, I just assume everyone is on FF). I'll put the full prompt at the end too.

Crossover from Angel (aka Angel characters will be involved). Same universe so I don't put it as a crossover officially.

To start - it is (mostly) cannon for when Buffy first comes back but then we go my way from there. This first and second chapter pretty much are the layout for her return and therefore repeats a lot of the episodes, for those of us who didn't watch it yesterday. Then we twist and shout.

Warnings for this story as a whole (I'll warn chapter specifics only if someone PMs me or asks in a review): It is M for a reason.  
Warnings for pretty much everything except drugs and even then I can't guarantee the demon world won't have a little something-something going on. There will be; violence, major character deaths, pregnancy death, murder in general, swearing, smut, lemons, noncon, dubcon, evil vampiric acts, torture, suicide, suicide thoughts, etc.

Spuffy oriented (hints at other het/slashing- all cannon).

If you're not looking for the dark side, I have another lovely T rated Spuffy fic you might like called _Reliving the Past (takeover)_.

This is not beta-ed so the grammar mistakes will be my own.

Disclaimer: I don't own _Buffy_ or _Angel_.

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Black.

Everything was utterly and completely black. Not a speck of light anywhere.

Buffy reached out, her hand collided with a hard surface very close above her. She tried to think about where she was but she didn't know. The last thing she remembered was falling. Jumping. She had been jumping to her death, to save Dawn. Then there was something...something peaceful. Inexplicably peaceful.

That was not what she was feeling now.

She could feel the cushion she was laying on, a hand out to either side and she hit another hard surface. Blindly fondling about didn't help anything. She was enclosed in something small. Very small. Very dark. That was all she could tell.

What was going on?

She tried to look down at herself, crooking her sore neck up, but all she could see was more black everywhere. Images started to float around the corners of her eyes but she couldn't see them long enough to make out what they were.

Wasn't she dead? Did she die again? Was she dreaming?

Where was she?

She pushed out both hands again and shoved as hard as she could on every surface she could reach. Nothing. Nothing happened.

Buffy could hear her breathing quicken but she couldn't feel it. She tried breathing in deep but no matter how deep she breathed, she couldn't feel it. Thick air entered her lungs and her chest rose but something was missing. There was nothing coming out of it. It was just a movement. It was like the air was just gone. Panic flowed through her at the thought that she had run out of oxygen already. Who knew how long she had been stuck in the small space or if it even had air flowing into it at all?

Squeezing her eyes shut she tried to calm herself and figure out what was around her. If she could determine what it was around her, what she was trapped in, maybe then she could find out where she was.

The more she relaxed, the more scratching filled her ear drums. Small movements stuck out somewhere around her. She could hear nothing else. No cars, no people, no wind. Just small scratching.

She reached out and knocked on the hard surface at her side. It all rebounded back to her, making her head hurt in return. Nothing made a noise outside where she was trapped. It was like she was closed in something. A box of some kind.

Gently she ran a hand on the surface above her and froze. A slim layer of fabric covered the top of the very hard and small box she was trapped in. Enough to fit a single human. She had looked at enough of these for her mother to know what it was.

Coffin.

She slid her hands up her body, running against the fabric of whatever she was wearing, not remembering ever owning a dress like that, to rest her fingers on her face. Cold and hard flesh danced under her fingertips. She was all there. Cool, thick breaths fell on her hands and she knew she was breathing. She could feel it not just inside herself. Why did it feel so different?

She felt okay, no injuries on her body. Quite the opposite actually. With each muscle she tensed she could feel the power that flowed. Her body was really starting to wake up under her and she needed to get out of the damn coffin. She knew she would run out of air soon if she didn't get out. She needed to stretch. Everything was just too close.

Frantically she started to rip away the fabric above her body and feel for the lid of her coffin. Over and over she just kept thinking; _I'm dead. Where am I? I'm dead. Am I dreaming? Is this a nightmare?_

The fabric tore and she frantically started punching up. Her arm wouldn't bend properly in the confined space and it took her multiple tries before she could break through the surface. She punched again and again feeling the material start to crack along with the skin on her knuckles.

Dirt and blood started to rain down over her, landing in places she just couldn't see. She punched again and again until her hand came through to the damp dirt on the other side. She pulled her hand down and more and more dirt flooded over her. She reached her other hand up and ripped at the hole to tear away more and more of the lid.

Wave after wave crashed over her, muddling her ears with the overwhelming sound. She scrambled her legs up into herself, pushing the dirt down towards her feet, as fast as she could. With her hands she pulled more and more down on top of her, pushing the dirt down until there was no more room. She took a deep breath and curled up as much as she could and started digging her way up.

Stroke after stroke she used as much of her strength as she had to push the dirt down to fill the space she had just come. Dirt was everywhere, filling and colliding into every one of her pores.

It seemed hopeless. She was sure to die again. No light was coming. It was just the dark and the sound of her pathetic struggling, the sound of the dirt that fell into her eardrums.

Slowly she inched herself up and up knowing any moment she would pass out from lack of oxygen even if she wasn't yet feeling it. It had to be the adrenaline. She was a slayer after all. She was used to having extra.

Using all that adrenaline she wormed her way up until her hand punched through another surface to be greeted by empty space. Desperately she punched up with her other hand to feel the same emptiness and pulled herself the rest of the way, letting the dirt fall to the spaces below her. She scrambled up and up until her head popped through and behind closed eyes she could see the blistering amount of light. She opened her mouth and gasped in a breath, still feeling no relief, just sucking in some of the dirt caked onto her lips. Before she could give it a second thought she scrambled the rest of the way out and pulled herself onto the grass.

Turning over and trying to blink away the dirt, the shapes started to form. Trees came into focus along with the source of the blinding light; the moon.

Her first thought was that the moon should not have been that blisteringly bright but she decided it had to of been because of coming from such blackness. Any light would seem blinding after that.

She rolled to her side and sat up. As exhausted as her body should have felt, it wasn't. Everything was still screaming adrenaline. She knew she needed to move. She couldn't stay. She wasn't sure why but she knew she had to get away. To be somewhere. She needed something. She just couldn't think of what that something was. She couldn't really think straight at all.

She pushed up off the ground aware of the now evident pain throbbing in her head. She tried to swallow it down but it only made it worse. Bringing a hand to her face she slid her fingertips down trying to determine the source. When they slid down her chin to her neck she could feel it. Her head was hurting because of something in her neck. It was so dry, burning. She needed something to drink really badly.

That was probably all it was. Dehydration. Who knew how long she had been trapped down there?

But where was there?

Looking back at the hole she crawled out of she could see the small plaque heading what she could now determine as her grave.

_Buffy Anne Summers_

_1981-2001_

_Beloved Sister_

_Devoted Friend_

_She Saved The World A Lot_

So she was dead. That was her name chipped into that stone. Those were words her friends and family picked out for her to be recognized for, so anyone passing by may have a glimpse of who she was as her flesh decayed beneath their feat. Decaying away because she was dead.

Where did she go after she died? Where was she now? How did she wake up down there?

She started to hyperventilate, as would be expected at looking at your own headstone, but she was fine. Her breaths came quick and fast but she was centered in being okay. There was no lightheadedness.

She looked around some more for any kind of clue but couldn't tell where she was. It wasn't any of the graveyards she could remember patrolling at her time in Sunnydale. Who was to say she was still there?

Small noises kept sounding from around her. She looked around for the source, darting her gaze in and out of trees. She was surprised by how much she could see moving about. A squirrel, an owl, an ant. How the hell did she hear an ant? But there it was climbing up and over a branch. Her ears must have been sensitive from lack of use.

She had to get out of there. She had to figure out where she was and she knew she had to be somewhere. There was something or someone. Someone she had to meet?

Pushing off the ground she just started walking. Woods surrounded her but she had no trouble maneuvering in and out. Her eyes darted everywhere checking for any predators in the area. It was surprising how much energy she had. She just wanted to run and do what she needed to do. Whatever that was.

After clearing the dark woods she could tell she was in Sunnydale after all. Or some form of it.

Everything was wrong.

There were turned over cars, broken glass, abandoned bikes. Fires were started littering the sidewalks, cars, and buildings. They emitted a harsher glow than normal and the heat was burning too intensely. It had to of been some sort of chemical fire for how hot they were. She had to dodge a path around each of them every time she saw one lighting up in the distance.

Her senses were too intense for her. Every light was still completely overwhelming, making it hard to make anything out. She could actually hear the fires crackling and the glass breaking off in the distance, falling down on the hard pavement below. Then there was the smell.

Every smell was so overwhelming. The smoke from the fires was harsh, burning her nose. Gasoline added into the mix clouding around her eyes. There was something else. Something that bubbled over everything else. Something almost metallic but savory. She couldn't tell what it was or what source it was coming from but it was everywhere. It was all so confusing.

A ripping, roaring sound screamed in her ears and she too screamed out loud, slamming both hands over her ears. Out of the corner of her eye she saw something coming fast. The horrible noise was getting closer and closer until it roared right past her, accompanied by the sound of something breaking. She couldn't make out what it was as it moved so fast but it left.

She kept walking, still not knowing exactly where she was meant to go, just that she had to get there while still avoiding the harsh orange glow of the fires. She walked down a different street and walked and walked until she could start to make things out again. It was just dark enough that she could see the car in the driveway. She didn't know whose driveway it was or if anyone was even there but she knew she needed to figure out where she was so she could make it to wherever she was going. She turned against the car to try and calm her pounding head so she could see clearer but then a horrible shrieking started.

She covered her ears again, screaming to herself as the beeping of the car sounded in her ears, effectively stalling her. A blinding light shined in the direction she was looking and she screamed again, slamming her eyes shut. Then came the smell. Some kind of overwhelming smell. It was that metallic but savory one. Her first thoughts were that whoever was in that house was making some kind of roast as her mouth watered. She wanted nothing more than to run to that smell. Screw whatever she had been running towards. Screw the sound ringing in her ears and the light blinding her. She needed to get to that smell.

The cocking of a gun was distinctive even with her ears covered. Someone was screaming and she couldn't tell what about. She just knew someone was there, standing in that light, holding a gun. She chose to ignore the part of her pushing towards that smell in favor of getting somewhere quiet and much less bright. She couldn't do a damn thing with all that going on around her.

She started to run and finally walk again thought the pain followed her everywhere. While she expected her heart to be pounding in her ears, all she could hear were the noises of the world around her.

It had to be hell. She had to be stuck there as an outsider. Some kind of phantom. Doomed to be dead and yet sensitive to everything around her. She obviously wasn't herself. Everywhere she turned just brought more pain. Yet she had to keep walking. Keep moving. That calling was getting stronger and stronger as she walked back into town. More fires sprung up and she avoided them and their heat but still had to push forwards.

Figures started to shape themselves in the distance. There was talking. She couldn't make out what they were saying as her ears were still ringing but she could hear words. The first words she heard in this place and she couldn't even tell what they were.

She walked closer to distinguish the noises and as she did the shapes became clearer. There was a horrible fire with monstrous heat behind them but she ignored it to see what was going on. She was directly behind the figures when she saw the grotesque and twisted face of some kind of monster. She was used to seeing monsters, when she was alive, but it didn't help her theory about this not being hell. The demon looking thing was an odd greenish pale with oddly shaped ears and face that looked like it was held together with leather straps. The rest of him was decked out in a cliché biker gang getup and, looking around, she could see the rest of the figures looked the same.

The slayer in her told her to fight these things but something was keeping her there. She didn't know where she was. What if she fought them and killed them and that was wrong? Would that make hell even worse?

She could finally understand a few words coming from the weird demon's mouth. "Gentlemen, start your engines!" She looked in the direction he pointed something shining silver, a gun if she focused hard. To her left she could see...herself. Tied up and chained to other demons on motorcycles. She looked calm, almost confused. She wasn't wearing the old black dress she had on but something brighter, like one of the outfits she wore when she was alive. "Bye, bye, slayer."

A deafening blast went off from the gun and more terrible noises started up and she had to cover her ears yet again. She kept her scream inside as she watching herself, chained to the bikes. It looked like she was trying to say something but the motorcycles moved too quickly and her body was ripped apart.

It was hell. It had to be. She was watching her body be drawn and quartered and she could almost feel it happen to herself. Limb separated from socket, pulled apart until severed. It was a fascinating concept but terrible to see when it was her own body. A small scream escaped her lips without her permission and every demon turned to face her.

With her eyes still on the horror scene in front of her she noticed something wasn't right. That wasn't her body. Bits of metal flew from her sockets, not blood or muscle. What was going on?

"Another one for the fire boys." The gravely tone of the demon biker's voice reached her ears and she looked around at the monsters all starting to giggle around her. She didn't like what he said. Some deep instinct in her said it was very bad that he phrased it like that. Something about the fire was wrong. "Tear it up."

She ran.

She felt like she was fighting herself. She wanted to go back. She wanted to laugh in the demon's faces and rip them all to shreds but again, she didn't know what was going on. In fight or flight, flight won out.

The sounds followed her as they rode their bikes towards her. Tires screeching against pavement followed her as she ran until another light cut her off, coming her way. She looked at both motorcycles, cutting her off from both directions, and ducked as she could hear a metal clanging whipping against wind in the air. The metal chain of one cyclist wrapped around the other and pulled him from his bike causing them both to crash.

She rolled away with a second glance and ran. Unending energy had her running and running from the demons and closer and closer to that thing she needed to get to. Whatever it was.

Motorcycles were fast though and just as another was coming quick on her heals she bounded, easily jumping over a dumpster and filliping over a chain-link fence. It was clumsy for her as she still was getting used to the attack on her senses but she landed on the ground still conscious and with a wall between her and her attackers.

As she moved forward and jumped over another small fence, she had to stop as she was pounded with the smell. It clouded all around her. That metallic, savory, now spicy smell that burned her throat in a way smoke never could. She stood to face four figures standing in front of her each wafting that sent towards her.

"It's the Buffybot."

She took a moment to adjust to the new light, ignoring the words spoken in her direction, and adjusted to the smell before scanning each face and seeing; Tara, Xander, Anya, and Willow.

Another kick of adrenaline rushed into her as she looked them each over and understood who they were. She did not need them at the moment. She would rather deal with the headache she had than start a new one.

"Ah. Peachy." Xander's voice. "No doubt to lead the wild bunch right to us again. Hey Will, next time this thing is damaged couldn't ya program it to find the nearest Radio Shack or…"

The smell kicked into overdrive as Willow's name was called and she lost herself to the stinging in her throat. Her mouth started to water as they each walked closer to her, Willow leading the way.

"Buffy?" She could hear as each of them gasped, as each of them turned to face her, as each of their hearts leapt.

How could they be there? What was going on? Why did they smell like that?

Buffy ignored the primal need to herd them all up and start getting answers to run again. She didn't like not knowing what was going on and the presence of the friends she had before she died only made it worse. What if this was a trick?

They all called out her name and she ran faster. She didn't want to talk to them. She wasn't inexplicably happy to see them. She didn't even know who they were. They could be demons or tricksters. She didn't want them around.

They ran after her, each calling out in concern over their friend, only just realizing the spell must have worked. Their hearts leapt, Willow's a bit more as she realized just what this meant. She didn't fail. She brought back Buffy. She brought her best friend back from the dead.

Buffy ran until there was nowhere to go. She was stuck in another ally. A dead end. So she hid. She crouched in a corner, a prime spot for attack if needed. Her mind was slowly coming back to her but she still didn't understand what the hell was going on. Being ready to fight seemed like a good idea.

They found her and each huddled around the easy exit as Willow walked forward, speaking softly at her as if she was a lost child.

"Buffy? Buffy are you-?" Willow didn't know how to ask that question. Of course she wasn't okay. So she continued to try and ground her, without frightening her off. "It's Willow. Can you hear me?"

Buffy only stared blankly at everyone looking at her. Another sort of heat rippled through them, accompanied by that smell. She opened her mouth a bit to ask but promptly shut it as the pain in her throat kicked into a maddening need in her head. She was so thirsty. And something kept rushing. Thumping. It was hypnotizing. None of it made sense. It sounded like a heartbeat or multiple at that but her heart was perfectly fine. Or at least she thought so. She couldn't exactly hear her own heart.

"What's wrong with her?" Anya asked, half hiding behind Xander's arm at the uncomfortable feeling coming off of her friend returned from the dead.

"Nothing! She- She's- She's in shock." Willow said it more for her own sake than for the truth as she was the one who sounded in shock. She was.

It had to be true though. She knew people went through shock. This had to of been what it looked like. There was no other explanation. Buffy was fine she was just shocked. This was normal. This would be expected.

"Her hands are bleeding." Tara pointed out shaking her head. She knew better. This was not okay. This was not expected. They used big magic and something was wrong. She could feel it. "Her fingers…"

Buffy looked down at her own hands as if to see what Tara was talking about. There, glowing in the moonlight, was the red liquid seeping from her knuckles. Funny. She remembered them breaking open but didn't remember them hurting.

"She's fine." Willow tried again as Xander shook his head, realizing what had happened.

"Oh no." He said out loud still shaking his head, getting angrier and angrier at himself and his friends with every move. How could they not see this? How could they do this to her?

"What?" Willow asked, still in her own state of shock.

"No." Xander continued to stare at what they did as Buffy continued to stare at him, unblinking and watching his every move. "How could we…be so…so _stupid_!"

"Xander!" Willow yelled, looking back at Buffy to make sure she was still okay. Buffy just looked at her, still unmoving, still not blinking.

"Our spell. Our resurrection spell worked like a magic charm. We brought you back to life Buffy…right where we left her." He turned to his friends to explain what they just weren't getting and horror spread across their faces.

"Oh god." Willow whispered out in horror, falling back towards Tara automatically for support who enveloped her in her arms.

"In her coffin." Xander continued to explain though the horror was obvious.

Buffy watched eagerly as they came to that conclusion, somehow relishing in the guilt coming off them in waves. It started to make sense in her mind though everything was still muddled about in there. So she was dead. Her friends brought her back. They brought her to this hell with a spell.

"She had to dig out of her own grave." Tara said aloud as if to make it more real to herself. What had they done?

"Buffy." Xander leaned forwards towards her crouching figure and Buffy leaned back from him, jumping at how much heat was coming from his body. "Buffy it's Xander! We're sorry. We didn't know. Buffy!"

"You aren't reaching her. She's too traumatized." Tara tried to call Xander away, still keeping her hands on Willow in support.

Anya pulled Xander away and walked straight forwards, crouching in front of the crouching Buffy. Again the heat was extremely close but this time Buffy didn't move away. Instead she listened as the thumping grew louder and that smell seemed more intense than before.

"Hey Buffy. Here's some good news that might perk you right up! Xander and I have an announcement-"

"Anya!" Xander pulled her away scolding her for almost spilling the beans about their secret engagement.

"What? I'm just trying to help."

"Buffy." Xander leaned down again. "It's gonna be alright. We brought you back. You're home now. Yeah, that's it. You're home."

"Yeah. Welcome home slayer. Alive and kicking after all." The gravelly voice of that demon reached her ears again. "Well, alive anyway. Not looking too good though is she?"

"I don't see you winning too many beauty contests." Xander replied, always with the smart remark. "Unless the '_Miss My Face Fell Off_' gets going."

"Big axe you got there."

"Better to cut you down to size grandma."

"Incindere." Tara lifted a hand and a ball of fire leapt from in front of the demon. Buffy recoiled at the unwanted flames but stayed in her fighting stance to watch what would happen next.

"So you got a witch in the mix." The demon growled out.

"More than one." Tara said confidently even knowing Willow was just about juiced.

"I happen to be a very powerful manwitch myself. Or male…is it a warlock?" He turned quick to Willow who nodded just as fast in return. "Warlock."

"Plus we have a slayer here." Anya chimed in, trying to help. "Um. Who might actually be looking to eat some brains so… I think a little quiet moseying, no hard feelings, and I'm sure your demon horde won't think any the less of you."

"Now my boy see that's tricky. They came looking for a massacre. And I think you got exactly enough magic between you for a kiddy birthday party."

Willow stepped forward, defiance in her eyes. She knew just how powerful she was. She just raised her best friend from the dead. "Then you'd be wrong."

"Whoa. Well I better back off or you might what? Pull a rabbit out of a hat?"

"Don't do that!" Anya, hearing the name rabbit started to panic. "Why would she do that?"

"Look, we don't want trouble." Willow continued to try and reason with the demons, as if she ever could. "You don't want trouble."

"Of course we want trouble. We're demons. We're really all about trouble."

"Not this kind."

"Oh, I get your point." The demon rounded back his fist and slammed it across Willow's face sending her flying towards the pile of rubbish Buffy was leaning next to. Willow's heat was intense above her. Morse so than any of the others.

Willow was burning.

Xander ran forward with his axe, easily thrown on his back. Anya ran towards him to help him up and Tara ran to help Willow. Willow was out cold as Tara turned her body over. Something about Willow was different. Something that drew Buffy's eyes. Something that made her realize she was no longer seeking that thing that had been calling her. This was it. This smell and the feel Willow gave off. It was what was pulling her. But why? If only she could get her alone, she would know. Tara was crowding that feeling. Even standing up against the wall to get closer didn't help to bring it back.

"Now let me tell you something children. We're not gonna fight you. We're just gonna hold you down and enjoy ourselves for a few hours. You might even live through it. Except that certain of my boys got some anatomical incompatibilities that ah, tend to tear up a girl, so, who wants to go first?" Buffy rolled her eyes and walked forwards to stand in front of the demon. This meeting was going very unproductively and she wanted to move on in matters. All that was going through her mind were the smells of the people around her, the thoughts that didn't make sense, and the horrible pain in her head and throat. "I was really hoping it'd be you." He reached out and slapped her against the face causing it to spin in the other direction, her dirt-matted hair clinging to the side of her face. She reached her tongue out and felt the crack the slap caused to open in her lip. The sting of the blood rushed out of her and caressed against the tip of her tongue.

Something snapped inside her.

She turned back to the demon with a smile on her face. He tried to punch out again but she easily caught his fist in her hand and landed a punch of her own. All that extra energy she had from lying around dead fueled her as she continued to fight demon after demon that came after her.

First it was just knocking their leader to the ground, bitch slapping him across the face a few times with her powerful strokes.

"Does this mean we win?" Anya half pleaded as Willow started to wake and all humans watched Buffy lose it on the monsters.

If killing the demons meant hell would get worse, consequences be damned.

She was having fun.

Another demon ran straight at her so she kicked up high and landed her foot in his jaw, sending him flying. She smiled to herself again and turned to face another coming at her side. She easily blocked him and punched him in his squishy gut, sending him to the floor.

The others started to join the fight, holding off the other demons but Buffy had whoever came.

Another demon came at her and she landed a punch across his face, grunting to herself as she did. Another came and more punches were thrown. A demon holding a knife was stopped by someone setting off the crossbow and sending an arrow straight through his stomach.

More came at Buffy and she stopped every blow, kicking and punching, even throwing one demon into another just for the fun of it. They both fell to the ground as another came running at her and she simply stepped to the side, almost too easy in defeating it.

Those that fell stood up again coming back for her. She only chuckled at them as she barely tried, flinging out an arm to send one spinning and punching the next that came. She grinned at the crunch their bones made as her fists fractured their jaws and ribs.

Four ganged up on her and all had something in their hand hitting her. She stood there, only blocking her face, as every other blow did nothing. She barely felt any of it. She giggled again before leaning down and shoving them all away at once, grabbing their weapons and flinging them away.

It was never ending as she kicked another in his groin, stealing a bat from another attacker and hitting it with the first, sending them both off their feet and to the ground. The same demons started to circle her and she fended them off with more gleeful blows as others attacked the humans.

Xander kicked one away from him and Anya as Tara and Willow helped each other with another.

Buffy used the knife of one demon to cut down another and grimaced at the odd smell that hit her nose. That demon smelled bad. She looked down to the one in her arms and grinned before snapping its neck between her hands and letting it drop to the ground.

"Well they wanted a massacre." Tara ironically pointed out as they all grouped back together, all demons having been killed or fled.

Buffy could distinctly smell Willow walking up behind her and standing in front of the rest of the group. What was it about her that made her feel so different? Odd that she could now discern her smell over the others.

"She's Buffy." Xander said smiling. "She's herself again. You're back Buffy, you really are." He tried to walk forward but he was masked in the smell of the demons. Buffy stepped back and looked at Willow wondering how the others could smell so vulgar and yet she had that alluring savory sent. What was different about her? "Whoa. Whoa." Xander tried to coax her down, misinterpreting her disgust with fright.

She couldn't stand the smell anymore. She had to get out of there. She could figure out what was going on with Willow later. All she knew was that she was dead, she was alive again, this was some kind of hell or dream or mirage, and that she was hopped up after that fight. The details she knew she could figure out later. Words she were told were still not sitting right in her mind. She couldn't just sit around to answer questions or ask her own. So she ran. That seemed to be a pattern.

"Buffy!"

She could hear footsteps behind her and turned ready to run the other way to get away from Xander or Willow but the smell was wrong. It was another demon trying to sneak up on her. She turned and stopped its attack spinning it around and slamming it against a pipe sticking up in some more garbage. Blood trickled down from the hole the pole made in its body and the stench of the demon reached her nose again. She covered her nose with the back of her hand and started running.

She didn't know where she was running to until she got there. She climbed and climbed and climbed until she was to the top of the tower she ran off of. Jumped off of. The jump that killed her. Or what she thought did.

She sat there overlooking the wreckage where she remembered jumping into that ball of light, to save everyone, like she always did. There was the realization that her death would equal Dawn's. The goodbye she tried for. How sad she was to leave everyone behind. She tried to remember beyond that. How did this all happen?

She jumped. She died. There was some kind of light and then there was this peace. She remembered feeling content, like she was floating, just happy and without worry. She knew everyone she loved was alright and they were safe. She didn't have a care in the world.

Then she woke up to black. Complete and utter darkness. She dug out of that into the world of loud noises and demons and exceptionally strange and dangerous fires. She had trouble with her breathing, still there. There was extra sensitivity to everything and it muddled her mind. She was still blindingly thirsty and her head still hurt like mad. The only thing that seemed to dull it for a moment was killing those demons. She was still pent up on that energy, even after that fight, though it was less powerful.

Then there was the fact that she was oddly drawn to Willow. It was like she was connected to her in some way. How else could she have found her?

Willow and every other one of them smelled like that sent that was making her throat even more dry. It didn't make sense at all. They were all so warm and smelled so much, they had to of had something wrong with them. Maybe something happened to them. Maybe it was just part of the hell.

Something happened to her. They did this to her. They brought her back. They were the ones that ripped her from that pleasant state and dragged her down to the fire. That much she knew. As long as they were who they said they were.

"Buffy?" Her thoughts were stopped short as she heard steps coming up the metal stairs and Dawn's distinctive voice reached her ears. She had almost forgotten she would be there. Well not there as in the top of the tower but as in Sunnydale.

She turned to see her little sister cautiously standing near the edge of the stairs. She looked her over, her eyesight adjusted and her head calmed slightly beyond the headache. That smell was there and the heat, just like the others.

"Buffy? How?" Dawn's whispers didn't go past her ears. Her eyes were tearing up but Buffy felt no urge to run to comfort her. In fact she wished to be left alone with her thoughts more. She just needed to think and she couldn't do that with a bratty sister asking her questions she was trying to figure the answers to.

"Is it you?" Dawn asked hopefully, not deterred by Buffy's muteness. She couldn't believe her eyes. When she had been staring up at the tower, she was almost too hopeful that it was her sister somehow. She almost thought she was hallucinating having just seen the Buffybot die. The last Buffy gone. Now there was another looking just like herself. She was wearing the black dress Dawn had picked for her to be buried in. The necklace was even one she picked out herself. Just a simple silver cross for Buffy to be protected by. "I mean really? What are you-?" Dawn started to walk forward and the entire tower started to shift making a bearable but annoyingly loud groan.

Buffy easily kept her balance but glared at Dawn for making her have to. She didn't think she would survive another fall like that. She really didn't the first time. Buffy turned to look out at the pavement beneath her. Yes, that was too far a fall. But it did give her a tiny adrenaline rush to think of what she would feel on the way down. Memories of her last jump, all her muscles tightened, her heart thumping, her breath hitching. Speaking of hearts thumping and breaths hitching…

"No!" Dawn screeched out, thinking Buffy was going to jump again. She couldn't stand to lose her again. Even if she wasn't really real. She couldn't stand to see any version of her jump. Not again. "Don't!" Buffy turned to glare at the stupidity of Dawn who was still gripping the side of the tower like it would save her if it all fell down. "Don't jump Buffy! Don't move! Just walk to me. Please! Please. I'm your sister. Dawn. We were up here. Together. And then you went away. And you don't wanna do that again. I don't know how you're back. But you are. And please, just stay still." Dawn started to walk out on the rail-less plank towards her older sister and again it moved beneath her, groaning loud.

Something churned in Buffy's stomach. She didn't want any part of Dawn at that moment. She wanted to be alone and within two minutes Dawn had already ruined that. She broke the fucking tower. How was she supposed to think up there now?

She could hear that thumping noise jump up a notch and could hear Dawn's breath panting. She could smell extra spices mixing in with that metallic one. Surprisingly she founded she wanted more of that. That, now that was good. She would have to find out how to get it.

"Or move! But towards me. Cus the tower was built by crazy people and I don't think it's holding up very well! Talk to me." Buffy ignored her. "Say something!"

"Is this hell?" Buffy asked simply, thinking that would be a good question to shut Dawn up. It was a legitimate question too. While things had started to clear and reality started to settle in, there was still the possibility that this was some horrible nightmare in her pleasant place or she was dragged back down to hell. Hell on earth would also count as hell.

Dawn only stared at the horrible question she heard from Buffy, confused if that was the actual question or a trick of the wind. Buffy, annoyed, turned back on her heels, pumps actually, and asked again. "Is this hell?"

"No! Buffy no!" Dawn shook her head and the tears formed quicker and quicker. Buffy sneered, though it went unnoticed. So this wasn't hell then. So hell on earth it was. And she was probably expected to save the day. Again. If this Dawn wasn't lying that was. "You're here. With me. Whatever happened to you. Whatever you've been through, it's- it's over now. You're-!" Another scream came from Dawn as the tower moved again. Buffy didn't even scream. If she was back in this hell hole, expected to save the day over and over again, why would she want to stay? She already knew death wasn't that bad. Pleasant even if her broken memories proved anything. "We have to get off of this tower!"

Buffy shook her head at her sister's screaming, trying to rid that pain in her head and sort through her muddled thoughts yet again. It would be so easy to jump and to go back to where she was. She wouldn't be brought back after a good old suicide. She could go back and not have to save these people. She wouldn't have to save anyone. Just float.

"Buffy." Dawn cried. "Please, listen to me. You told me I had to be strong. And I've tried. But it's been so hard without you. I'm sorry. I promise I'll do better. I will! If you're with me. Stay with me. Please. I need you to live. Live. For h-" Another screamed ripped through Dawn as some metal junk fell from above her head and landed behind her. Another wave of that powerful smell drifted over to Buffy and her eyes flew open as it sent a rush through her. "Buffy!" Dawn screamed as Buffy turned towards her.

Buffy started walking back to Dawn's huddled figure across the plank. All that smell was Dawn but how was it? She walked quicker towards her, something bubbling up inside and grabbed onto her arms to pull her up to see better. Warmth spread hot from Dawn's body as she lifted her off the ground and got a good whiff of that sent. She growled a bit to herself but Dawn was already pulling her off the edge of the tower and towards the stairs so she didn't notice.

Buffy shook her head again when they reached the stairs, her head and throat killing her more. Looking out, they saw and heard the plank creak even more and the entire tower started to fall. Buffy saw the pulley system and her survival instinct kicked out any thoughts of suicide or going down with the tower. She jumped forwards and grabbed the rope, surprised to find Dawn clinging to her side. It seemed she grabbed her before she jumped. Oh well. Buffy easily held both their weights up but the pulley was not so gifted. They started to fall and Dawn screamed relentlessly in her ear. She rolled her eyes internally at her actions and gripped the rope tighter as they both descended. The pulley smoked from the heat of the friction their fall caused and old rusted bolts started to unwind by themselves.

Suddenly the rope caught and they were stuck too high off the ground. Another bolt broke and they fell the rest of the way to the ground. Buffy again lead the fall and Dawn half landed on her. Buffy groaned at the small amount of pain from Dawn elbowing her in her side but her eyes flew open when she heard another loud metallic noise and a whooshing sound. Looking up she could see metal falling towards her from above and she got up, Dawn clinging to her side. Because of Buffy they both escaped their almost death and ran away from the tower as it noisily crashed to the ground.

Dawn kept clinging to her side until they were free from the danger zone and stopped to stand outside the fence. Dawn sat from her pain of the fall and Buffy followed suit for lack of anything better to do.

"Buffy?" Dawn whispered out, almost too shocked still to believe it was true. Buffy glared at her again and Dawn smiled. "Buffy." She reached out a hand and started to stroke the side of Buffy's face. Her too warm hands left streaks of heat against her flesh and Buffy did nothing to stop it. There was really no point. "You- you- you're really here." She wrapped Buffy up in a hug before she could do or say a thing. "You're alive. And you're home. You're home."

Buffy could feel the thumping of Dawn's heart against her chest. Her heat stunned her and she could hear her crying, her breathing, her blood rushing. There was instantly an overwhelming need to get rid of that thirst that had been distracting her since her return, the headache almost hypnotizing her. She wanted to ask for water to quench it but she also just wanted to get out of this hug and not promote conversation.

* * *

Dawn brought Buffy home and she didn't fight it. She really had nowhere else to go. She knew she _should_ want to go home so there was little point in arguing.

When they reached the house, Dawn turned on the lights, more light than necessary, and she looked at everything. It looked different.

"It's different." She stated as fact before taking a whiff. Dawn's smell was everywhere but there was something else. Willow and Tara, obviously, but on top of that. It was almost like leather but it wasn't coming from the furniture. Cigarette smoke was coming from somewhere too.

"A little." Dawn defended but Buffy really didn't care. She didn't care at all. "Willow and Tara live here now. And we- we didn't do much. We moved some of the chairs and took out some of the little tables. But-" Buffy walked away into the darker room, the dining room, not really caring to hear Dawn's excuses. She just wanted her headache to go away and it obviously wouldn't with Dawn's prattling.

Dawn followed her, ignorant to Buffy's real desires. "This is the same. Except the computer stuff. That's Willow's obviously." Buffy moved on again trying to find another dark spot to calm her mind. Her agitation was rising with her shadow companion. "We eat at the other end. Obviously." Dawn whispered the last part to herself, realizing Buffy didn't want to stick by her side. She went after her anyway, not ready to let her out of her sight, and found her upstairs looking at her old room.

Buffy was lost looking at what seemed like a battery station at the end of her bed with wires sticking out of it. Everything else was the same though.

"We charged Buffybot in your room. It just made sense I guess." Dawn talked from behind her, following her again. When she didn't answer Dawn pushed past her into the room and went for her closet. "We didn't get rid of any of your clothes. They're all in here. Why don't I find you something to change into?" She started to ruffle through things and tossed some clothes on the bed. They were much brighter than the black she was wearing and she squinted at their gleam. It was almost unnatural. "I'll let you get dressed and then we can clean you up. Okay Buffy?" Dawn worriedly shuffled towards the door as Buffy moved in and waited for her to leave. She did so with more worried glances and walked towards the bathroom to find something to clean her sister up.

Buffy stared at the clothes on her bed, not really feeling like doing what was told of her. Instead she took a moment to close her eyes to try and rid herself of her headache. It was like she swallowed a box of rusty nails and they all got stuck in her throat. Another swallow made the pressure build behind her eyes and no matter how much she pressed down on her temples, nothing helped. It seemed she would have to wait for this headache to pass. She knew water was needed and maybe some painkillers. But if she wanted to leave the room she knew she would have to change to save a lecture from the constant gabbing of Dawn.

Looking at the clothes again she squinted. Still, she had been buried in the dress she was wearing. She had to change into something. These were her clothes after all. Even if they didn't seem like something she would choose.

She kicked off her shoes and reached behind herself to undo her zip. As she was wondering who stripped her down naked to put her in this thing she started to pull the sleeves down. She jumped and gasped in pain at the pure stinging sensation she felt on her chest. She jumped forward, clawing at what was there, and pulled her necklace from her body as she leaned forward. She ripped the chain off of her and threw it somewhere towards the bed. Glancing at her hand she could see a small red burn mark forming and stared at it for a moment wondering if that had somehow come from climbing from her coffin. After a moment she ripped her dress off to get a better look at her chest. Glancing down she could see a small cross burned into the flesh there.

She gasped and ran a hand over the burn mark, wondering how that was even possible. The only people she saw that happen to were not people, they were vampires. Maybe it was just an effect of coming back. She would have to have a word with Willow. And by word, thoughts of punches and accusations were coming to mind.

She could still feel that draw towards the smell and heat Willow put off but didn't feel the need to run to it anymore. It was still there but it was like her attention had shifted. She could smell it coming from where her mom's room used to be, no doubt where Willow and Tara moved. It was enough to keep her satisfied it seemed.

She dressed the rest of the way, throwing on a different shirt that covered the burn, not wanting to answer questions from Dawn. She stood in the door clothed in what she had and looked at the bathroom door. It was too bright in there for her liking but if she didn't go, Dawn would come out whining.

She walked towards the door, allowing her eyes to adjust before she went in. Dawn smiled at her with a cloth in her hands as Buffy stayed by the door.

"Do you want to come here and I'll clean you up or stay there?" Buffy only moved in another foot and didn't care to make it any easier so Dawn walked to her and brought her a glass from the counter, full of cold water. She greedily emptied the glass of its contents but it had no effect. The burning in her throat and the pain in her head remained. When she handed the empty glass back Dawn automatically refilled it and with another downing she noticed that it only seemed to make it worse. It was yet another question and yet another thing to blame on the hell she was in. Would nothing get rid of the pain? Maybe she would be forced to live with it forever. If she was really even living. She refused a third glass when asked and so Dawn chose to start cleaning her up. She brought out a brush and pulled Buffy's hair back, doing the best she could without it being washed thoroughly. She switched back to the cloth to clean off her face, swiping paths of dirt from the flesh beneath. "There you are. Knew you were under that dirt somewhere. You remember what mom used to say? Either wash that neck or plant potatoes. Yeah I never thought it was funny either."

She moved on to Buffy's hands as they were the only skin left showing and she gasped at the scrapes and tears on her knuckles and the redness of her palm. "Ow. How'd…"She wondered where she got them and almost asked but figured if Buffy wasn't talking, she wouldn't answer her. Instead Dawn opened the medicine cabinet behind the mirror and pulled out the first aid kit. Inside she found a disinfecting cloth and started to open it but her finger slipped on the packaging.

"Ouch." She said pulling her hand back quick. "Paper cut." She held up her now bleeding finger for Buffy to see.

All too powerfully the burning in Buffy's throat screamed at her. It was more than a scream. It was drawing her, commanding her. The pounding in her head blurred the world around her and she transfixed as the small droplet of dark red starting to form and slide down the digit.

"Hang on, I'll get some scissors." Dawn was none the wiser as she turned and made her way towards the kitchen.

Buffy forcibly moved and gripped onto the sink in the bathroom to stop herself from chasing after her. A pressure started to form on her face as the headache grew and grew. Her eyes squinted down, her brow furrowed, and she distinctly felt two tiny points of pressure landing on the top of her bottom lip. Confused Buffy ran her hands up to her face and felt around. Her face was different. It shifted. There were lines and folds now on her forehead. Her nose was scrunched on its own and as she tried to push out, nothing changed. Her fingers slid down over her mouth where she distinctly felt two tiny hard shards that led directly into her gums.

She stopped straight, remembering where she had felt a face like that before.

She grabbed the medicine cabinet door and slammed it shut to reveal the mirror.

Nothing.

There was nothing but the bathroom greeting her as her reflection. She couldn't see her face at all. She reached up again with her hands and felt again. She was sure now. The sensitivity, the thirst, the smells, the heat, the lack of caring, the burning, the pain, the cross. They all meant one thing.

Vampire.

. . .Well that changed things. . .


	2. Vampire

**AN**: So sorry for the late update. I've been stuck in a foreign country with non-functioning outlets, one broken converter, and one pain-in-the-ass adaptor. I have it working now (finally) so hopefully I'll be able to adjust to new life here and keep my updates at least semi-constant. First week at my new school (in the UK!) so I'll be figuring stuff out and when the best times to update will be. I probably won't pick a day but I'll let you know one versus two versus three updates a week.

Thanks for reading and enjoy :)

* * *

Buffy quickly re-opened the cabinet to hide the mirror again as soon as she heard Dawn come back up the stairs with scissors in hand. She stood still for a moment while Dawn played with the first aid kit and revisited every sensation she felt since digging her way out of the ground.

It made sense now. All of it.

The affect the fire had on her, the sounds, the lights, the smells, the heat coming off the bodies, the thumping.

_Thump-thump. Thump-thump. _Heartbeats.

Even at that very moment she could hear the thumping of Dawn's heart, beating away steadily. The metallic, savory smell was radiating off of her with every thump and Buffy wanted to slap herself as soon as the overwhelming obviousness of the smell hit her. Blood. Dawn's blood, human blood. That was the smell that drew her in, that made her crazy with thirst, that smelled as good as a fresh roast.

Buffy's mind drifted as she stared at the pulsing in Dawn's neck. She seemed to really be fiddling with those stubborn scissors and for a moment Buffy thought of reaching over to take them from her and help. Of course she wouldn't be helping Dawn with the packaging. The idea that flashed through her mind had more to do with twisting her body around and pushing the dull blade hard into the side of her sister's neck, pulling the blade taught across the skin and releasing the red liquid from its confines, spreading it through the room, spraying Buffy all over, allowing her to lick the stick substance clean from her body.

Of course that just wouldn't do for the moment.

Instead she moved away from the alluring smell and moved onto the others in the room. The harder she concentrated the more she could distinguish from the the burning, mesmerizing pulsing of the blood. There was a faint smell of vanilla that grew as Buffy concentrated on it. Then there was some kind of fruit…coconut? From memory Buffy could recall it was her perfume, the vanilla. The coconut had to be something else. Her shampoo? Buffy turned from Dawn's muddling around and looked at the shower where she could see the matching pair of coconut scented shampoo and conditioner bottles. She grinned to herself and moved past Dawn to walk into other rooms to see what else she could smell.

Walking into her mother's room, or at least it used to be, the smell of Tara and Willow was overwhelming. Only faintly could she smell a trace of the ancient artifacts and musty books that used to fill the space. Instead there were many spices and herbs crowding her nose, no doubt used for their magic. Then there was that other sent and feeling it came with that Buffy could not figure out. It was obvious it was Willow, she knew what she smelled like. But there was something about it that made her feel like she should be there. Something important about Willow.

Dawn dropped the troublesome wrapper back into the first aid kit and followed, still very worried about Buffy's lack in communication. Buffy was in the master bedroom looking around in the dark, still not saying anything, so she turned on the light for the room.

Buffy squinted at it sharply as she waited for her eyes to adjust. It was easy to see that she didn't need the light. Everything looked perfectly in focus before she was temporarily blinded. It wasn't like that was going to stop anytime soon. Not with Dawn following her every move.

"Mom's room. I know it's really different now." Dawn cautiously walked towards Buffy still nervous she would spook her older sister if she moved too fast. Buffy didn't turn to her so she just watched her stand there as Buffy's eyes danced over the room and cataloged everything that changed about it.

"Willow and Tara, this is there room?" Buffy asked because it sounded like a question she would if she were normal, if she were human. The question was stupid in itself. Of course she could tell who lived in that room and Dawn already said they were living at the house. It wasn't like she expected them to choose the basement.

Yet again, she found herself not caring one bit. It almost amused her how much she didn't care. She knew she should have, well, human her would have. It was her mother's room and it had been vacant after she died. Having someone move into it would have upset her before. She was sure. Just not now. But she had to stay looking as human as possible. For some instinctual reason she knew it would be a bad idea for Dawn to find out what she was. Vampires were what they hunted. Dawn always wanted to kill her own. Who was to say her first wouldn't be her sister? That's what they had drilled into their heads. A vamps a vamp, no matter who it is. Only exceptions being for souls and chips in the head. And Buffy had neither.

Chips in the head. That brought up a very good question that she didn't have time to voice because Dawn cut her off yet again.

"Yeah, well, it seemed to make the most sense." Dawn defended as she felt the need. She didn't know her sister was coming back from the dead! If she did, she wouldn't have allowed everything to change so much. Not that anyone would listen to what she had to say. They never did. She could only imagine how much looked different to Buffy and they changed so much in such little time. Buffy probably hated them.

"No one was using it and it's the biggest." Dawn continued when Buffy didn't do anything. "But, you know, n-now that you're here we'll have to figure out something to do."

Buffy started to walk away again, completely uninterested. It wasn't like things would change. If anything, that anything including Buffy keeping the fact that she was vampire a secret from the occupants of the house, Buffy would move into the room and that would be the _something to do_. It was the biggest room after all, it deserved to be hers. Willow and Tara could actually move into the basement or something. As she thought about it the more she wanted to giggle. It was so backwards really. She was a vamp now, basements would be her thing, right?

Dawn sighed at her sister's distant attitude and chased after her, cutting her off before she got to the door. This behavior was abnormal. Completely understandable but abnormal. She knew it was her sister, she could see it was her sister, but it didn't feel like her sister. "Buffy. You wanna, like, stop? We can- we can sit down and talk."

Buffy rolled her eyes internally. She didn't want to '_sit down and talk'_. What she wanted was to figure out this new found vampirism she possessed. She wanted to go out in the night and find something to fight. She wanted to see how much power she really had coursing through her system. If her current state had any indication, it was a lot. More than she ever had before. The thrill of the fight still lingered from the biker demons and she knew there were more out there. She could run them all down. It sounded rather exciting.

She couldn't do any of that until she got Dawn off her back, something that wasn't going to happen anytime soon it seemed. She would just have to pretend to be powerless and broken until she could.

"What else is different?" Buffy tried another human sounding question though she was sure she could have put a bit more realism to it. She sounded more annoyed, for good reason, than upset.

"Do you mean about the house er-?" Buffy didn't answer and Dawn again tried to find the right words to say. "Um…let's see. Giles…it's so weird. He left today. Because you were…"

Buffy kept the emotionless face she had on the outside but internally jumped for joy. Giles was gone? Gone, gone? She could only hope. Giles gone meant she had much less of a chance of anyone finding out she was a vampire. No one would be chasing her to stake her heart. Chances were Giles would be the one to know before anyone else. She had already met the others and they were too stupid to figure it out. Watchers though, they were trained for that sort of thing.

"He'll-he'll come right back." Dawn mistook Buffy's stoic behavior for grief again. "I'll call him. Someone will call him."

"What?" Buffy growled out as the pressure from her anger built, pushing on her already sore temples. Knowing she was about to show her true colors, she bit it back and pretended to have an emotional response appropriate to what Dawn would take as resembling something more sad than angry, unlike what she felt.

"What, what?" Dawn sputtered, a bit scared at her sister's reaction. Moments ago she had seemed distant and fine but one mention of Giles' return and it almost looked like she was ready to eat her alive. That was not what she had expected in the slightest. She had to be wrong. She just saw something...a trick of the light.

"Umm…" Buffy noticed the panic in her eyes and quickly made her face pitiful once again. "What um…. will you say to him?" She was actually genuinely curious about that. Saying she returned from the dead would probably have his bells going off.

While calculating how she was going to get away with cutting the phone line or something equally helpful, she heard footsteps coming towards the house and the front door swing open. Another wave of smell from the outside air came in and wafted up the stairs, with it came another hint of that leather smell.

Buffy knew that wasn't Willow or anyone else in the rat pack. She didn't think they would bother her so soon anyway.

"It's okay. It's just-" Dawn tried to calm her sister from any panic that would come, knowing who it was downstairs but was cut off before she could say.

"Dawn!" Buffy instantly recognized the voice.

Good ol' chip in the head.

Of course. She should have been able to tell by the leather. He obviously visited the house frequently and that smell stuck around. He rarely took that duster off, it had to be what she was smelling.

Buffy looked up and smiled to herself. He was a vampire. He would understand. He could help her with this horrible headache. He would know what to do. Then again, he could rat her out. But he wouldn't do that. Not unless he wanted that chip kicked out of his head in a very violent fashion.

"Dawn are you there?!" Spike continued to yell to the house.

"It's- it's just Spike. I'm- I'm here." She called over her shoulder, still not daring to raise her voice in front of Buffy. Not that she needed to for him to hear her. Sighing Dawn knew she needed to see him and she needed to show him Buffy. She smiled to herself as she turned from Buffy and started for the stairs. Spike would be so shocked, so happy, something rare for him, especially since Buffy was lost. This was just what he needed.

"Thank god." Spike said, slamming the door shut. He had been running around, worried one of the demons dragged her off, and with what they were known for, he wasn't in the mood for her behavior. "Scared me half to death. Or more to death. You- I could kill you." This was just like her, running off and leaving him worried. Buffy would have never forgave him if something happened to her. It was his last promise to her.

"Spike-"

"I mean it. I could rip your head off one handed and drink from your brainstem." Spike ground his teeth at the girl's stupidity then stopped yelling just as suddenly as he started. There was something else in the house. He could smell it.

"Look." Dawn looked up the stairs where Buffy was making her way down.

"Yeah. I've seen the bloody bot before." That must have been what else he smelled. "I didn't think she'd patch up so-"

Buffy watched ask Spike's face twisted into confusion, a coy smile starting to form on her own lips. She knew what happened to that robot of herself. It was clearly totaled. Spike must have known that and had _just_ figured out she wasn't the bot. Oh she would tease him relentlessly for taking so long. It took Willow less time than that and she was human.

Step by step she walked down, closer and closer, and noticed, something had changed about him. Had he always been so …alluring? No. Alluring was not something she would have described Spike as. Blood, now, yes. Spike, no way, never.

Yet there he was, just standing, and she felt drawn. Looking him over nothing seemed out of place. He was exactly the same. The only thing that changed was her. Could the vamp thing have anything to do with the way she noticed him in that moment?

Her newly developed eyes squinted from the light and took in every angle of his body. Her eyes almost had to shut at how blindingly blonde his hair was. He obviously had it recently bleached as all trace of his roots were gone. Moving down his body she had to shake her head. She knew he'd always been muscular but this was something else. It was almost like she could see the minute details of every muscle as they wrapped around his bones and carved out his body. His clothes, not even his jacket, could hide those chiseled features as she dragged her eyes lower shamelessly lingering on his crotch. Unfortunately she didn't have x-ray vision and jeans were still jeans. Not helpful.

While her ears were still on overload from the hell outside and the pounding in her head, she could still only hear the _thump-thump _of Dawn's beating heart. Her breathing came into focus as well as Spike's and her own, though the latter two were not necessary. Other than that the only noise from him was the creaking of the floor beneath his feet and the crinkling of his clothes. Maybe even the crinkling of his brow as he was furrowing it hard enough.

She tried to see what she could smell off of him but the house was too powerful surrounding her. She could do it before when in the dark of the room and when concentrating in the bathroom but the bottom of the stairs was too busy for anything to stand out. Only the leather could she tell belonged solely to him.

The most distinctive thing about him though was the feeling of power surrounding him. But he always had that. This power though, it was different. It radiated off of him in electrifying bolts, making her mouth water, a reaction she did not expect.

Spike watched her assessment in awe and shock as the pieces of reality started to fall into place with each stair she descended. The closer she walked the more he could smell the blood inside her body. Slayer blood. This wasn't a robot.

"She's kind of um…she's been through a lot. With the…death. But I think she's okay."

Spike's heart, if he had one, would have leapt at the moment Buffy looked into his eyes. She was real. She was there, standing in front of him. His eyes started to sting as his mouth fell open and all words escaped him. Pure, unadulterated happiness flew through him in the realization that the woman he loved found her way back to him. Buffy was there. Really, really there.

Of course all that love and goody-goody feeling was followed by a quick slap in the face of worry, doubt and confusion. How could she be back? Could she remember him? Was she really alive? Was this a dream? Did she remember what he said to her? Did she remember the promise she made? Did she remember how much he loved her?

And what was that something? That something that just seemed different. Off almost. Something in the way she looked at him. Something in the way she felt.

"Spike?" Dawn called out to the vampire stuck looking at Buffy. He looked like he actually was going into shock. "Are _you_ okay?"

"I'm…" He didn't know what he was. He never imagined this could happen. Every day it was shoved in his face, the impossibility of her return, never having her there by his side. Every day he grew closer and closer to understanding that she was gone. He was almost there too. He knew she wasn't coming back. So how could she be standing right there? He couldn't believe it. "What did you do?"

"Me? Nothing."

Buffy crossed her arms over her body, almost uncomfortable by how much she was being stared at by Spike and also as a way to stop herself from jumping over Dawn to explore what was so different about him. Even thinking about jumping over Dawn made her think how easy it would be just to jump her instead. Whipping out her fangs and sinking them into her neck would be one hell of a way to let Spike know she'd changed. He wouldn't really appreciate that though. He always had a soft spot for Dawn.

The move was her mistake as it brought her bloody knuckles to view and Spike could see what he was smelling. "Her hands." He watched as a small bubble of blood pooled and tricked over the other bloody knuckles and fell to the floor. Only out of instinct and out of having been kept a helpless, fangless, useless prisoner did he think of diving down for that spicy, enticing smelling drop for a only split second. That was before Dawn spoke and his shock returned in full force, blocking out those kind of thoughts.

"Um. I was gonna fix 'em." Dawn gestured back up the stairs towards the first aid kit and Buffy pushed her hands behind her. For all she knew that would give her vampire-ness away. Spike would know better, most likely, not to say anything out loud but she couldn't take the chance. "I don't know how they got like that."

"I do." Buffy looked up at Spike incredulously. He couldn't possibly know. "Clawed her way out of a coffin, that's how. Isn't that right?"

It was.

Buffy only nodded at him a bit and whispered out, "Yeah", as images of the pitch black returned to her. Panic was all she cloud think of as she remembered scrambling through the damp dirt, sure she would die from lack of air at any moment, adrenaline coursing through her body. Of course she didn't know she wouldn't die but it wasn't something she rather liked and didn't plan on doing it again. She didn't really want to talk about it either. "That's what I had to do."

"I've done it myself." He nodded at her in understanding and with a bit of sympathy. Dru had been one crazy bitch for putting him in a coffin after she changed him, even if he didn't need it. Her and her rituals. It wasn't something he'd wish on anyone really. It was hard and frankly, terrifying. He knew if anyone could be brave enough to dig through six feet of dirt it would be Buffy. She could do anything. "Um." He looked at Buffy again, still not completely understanding that she was back but shook his head and reached out for her. "We'll take care of you. Come on." If this was real, he wasn't going to let anything happen to her ever again. "Get some stuff." He ordered Dawn. "Bandages."

Spike's hand rested on the top of Buffy's back and he had to shake his head again as he felt her body. He really felt her under his palm. He never thought he'd get the chance to again and yet here he was, doing it. She was really back.

Buffy let Spike lead her to the living room and sat on the couch. Spike touching her really didn't do anything to make him aware she wasn't exactly alive-alive so that was good. Maybe even she could fool Giles.

"Kay." Dawn ran back to find that first aid kit as Spike sat down directly across from Buffy on the table and picked up her hands to inspect them better. He ran his thumb over her flesh more than content with the contact. It was all he ever dreamed, if the circumstances were different that was.

She felt colder than normal, expected from lying in a crate under the ground. Dirt was stuck in her pulled back hair and she smelled of smoke and demon blood. Nasty thing demon blood. Only other demons were other vamps that seemed to have the good stuff and that was because it was borrowed from humans. She obviously fought on the way over. It looked like someone must have got her good in the head because she kept squinting in pain as if she had a headache but that would be an easy painkiller fix. Her turtleneck hid most of her body but she didn't look like she had any injuries beside her hands. The bleeding had stopped in them for the most part. They would be easy to fix and with her slayer power, she would be back to normal by the next day or two. He hoped anyway. It was obvious she was still powerful so she was still the slayer with her return. If anything it seemed more so.

There was just something else about her.

They locked eyes and he shook the thought away. She looked just like he remembered. She was entirely Buffy.

And she was back.

Buffy on the other hand was concentrating on his presence rather than anything else. Not only did the pounding in her head distract her, something she was longing to fix, but being alone with him, with no one else to see, she allowed herself to feel grounded by his touch. It was a reminder that he was there, she was there, and this wasn't a dream. No matter how much she wanted it to be.

She also tried to silently convey through the touch that something was different. The only heart thumping had left the room. How had he not noticed yet? She couldn't just out and say it. Knowing her luck Dawn would be turning the corner or something. It would have to wait till they were truly alone.

A change of subject was in order. "How long was I gone?" For her, time wasn't really in play. She knew she'd been dead for a while for everyone to have moved into her house but in the place she was time didn't really exist. It felt like multiple lifetimes and yet so short.

"147 days yesterday. 148 today." He smiled just a bit thinking she must find him silly for keeping track. He couldn't help himself though. It mattered to him. "Except today doesn't count does it? How long was it for you? Where you were?" He held her hands if not just the tiniest bit tighter, worried she would throw him off at any moment. With Buffy, he learned to take what he could get.

"Longer." Buffy replied squeezing his hands back gently. He smiled again but she could tell it wasn't real. It didn't reach his eyes.

Dawn walked back in with the kit from upstairs, "I've got the stuff."

It was at that exact moment that everyone else decided to barge in, quite rudely too. "Is she here?" Willow was the first to ask, bringing in that questioning smell with her. Buffy sighed in disappointment and Spike gave her a genuine half smile at her behavior.

"She's here! You're here!"

"We didn't know where you were."

"You ran away!"

"Buffy! Are you okay?!"

Everyone talked at once and with a squeeze of the hands they separated and Spike left the room and walked out the door, knowing whatever they had to say couldn't be good towards him. As much as it killed him to leave her side so soon, he also didn't think he could keep his own emotions in check with all Scoobies. Especially not the whelp. One word out of his mouth and he would be tearing the group apart. He decided to wait outside, just to keep an eye on things and maybe to watch through the window. He needed the constant reminder that she was really there.

"You knew she was back?" Dawn asked, hurt that no one decided to include her in the knowledge that her sister had returned from the dead. They never included her. "How did you know?

"You're not a zombie are you?"

"Anya!"

"We're you in pain?"

"What do you remember?"

"What do you know about what happened?"

Everyone kept asking her questions at once, overlapping each other. "Hey!" Dawn stopped it all. "Back off. You did this. What did you do?" Dawn directed her question at Willow, knowing who would be to blame or thank. She hadn't quite decided the difference between the two.

"A spell. We did a spell. We didn't think it worked but it did."

"Is she going to be okay?"

"I'm okay." Buffy said, wanting to leave the room and run after Spike. These humans only made her headache worse, their blood thumping away, their smells circling her, and she didn't feel like answering questions. She wanted to figure out what she was. "I'm gonna be fine. I remember. You brought me back." It wasn't all she remembered but it was all they needed to know.

"What was it like?" Anya asked the question they all wanted to know the answer to.

"I can't." She could but she wouldn't. Yet.

"It's okay." Xander cut in. "You don't have to talk about this Buff. Hey do you want something? Anything. Pizza! I'll get you pizza."

"Buffy likes pizza." Anya agreed.

"Yeah something to eat?" Tara asked.

"She doesn't want pizza!" Willow said, not knowing how right she was. Buffy had something along the lines of liquid in mind.

"I just meant-" Tara quietly started to defend herself before she was cut off by Dawn.

"Guys! Back off."

"Right." Willow nodded. "Dawn's right. We should just be quiet and let Buffy tell us what she wants."

_For you all to leave_, was what she wanted to say. Instead she chose, "I think I just want to go to sleep." It wasn't true at all. Energy was still pouring through her but going to bed would get rid of everyone and she could sneak out into the night. She had a very certain graveyard in mind.

"That's a good idea." Tara nodded. "You should sleep."

"Right, long day." Willow agreed. "But, Buffy, be happy. We got you out. You really did it."

Buffy just stared at her 'friend' for a moment, getting angrier by the second. Be happy? After being dragged back to this hell? Everything was burning, it all hurt, she didn't know what was going on, she had all this power she couldn't use, the only person who could help her left because these humans hated him, and she was supposed to be happy?

Instead of lashing out and driving Willow's head through the wall, licking her blood clean off the sheetrock like she was picturing, she decided to push for the bedroom again. "Tired."

"Well yeah." Anya chimed in. "I mean, jetlag from hell has gotta be, you know….jetlag from hell."

Up the stairs Buffy went without another word or even a second glance. Everyone be damned.

When they thought she was out of earshot, not realizing the extra sensitivity she picked up, they spoke again.

"She's- she's- she's fine. Normal!" Willow was first. "She used to go to bed all the time!" Tara squeezed her arm in assurance and Xander was next to speak.

"She probably just needs a night. There's not much we can do till then."

"We should get some rest too." Tara nudged Willow again, knowing how whipped she had to be from a spell that powerful and running from demons on top of that.

"Well if you girls are all set here then Anya and I will go home." Xander looked around as the members of the Summers house nodded and he grabbed Anya's arm and started walking to the door. "Call us if you need us and I'll see you ladies tomorrow!" Xander winked at them all and left as everyone called out bye and Anya called a bye back.

"Dawn, you should go to bed too." Dawn looked at Tara and nodded, taking the still unused med stuff back to the bathroom as Willow and Tara followed her up the stairs. She had just got that package open too. As she walked up she looked towards Buffy's room but the door was shut and she thought it better to leave her be anyway.

Jetlag. That's all it was.

* * *

"I think Willow's wrong." Anya started as they shut the door, starting the usual bickering between the two of them. "I don't think she's particularly normal at all."

"Well she just got back. Give it time. I bet in a week she'll be our little Bufferin again."

"Oh yes. Six or seven days. That's all you really need to get over eternal hell experiences."

It was then that Spike leaned away from the annoying couple and a twig cracked from under his foot. God he did not want these people to bother him. He had left to get away from them and think. Buffy was back. She was really, really back. And he was last to know. They all, every single one of them, they all knew how much she meant to him. But he was last to know. Always last.

They brought her back with a spell. The walls were thin, he could hear. Did they not realize what they did? What they could have done? What they might have done? The stupid, ignorant, naïve children playing around with powers they didn't understand. They could have ruined her.

"Who's that?" Xander asked as he looked the tree Spike was smoking behind. "Spike? What are you doing out here?" Spike wiped away any betraying tears that may have fallen as Xander decided to lay it into him, for the millionth time. "I hope you're not going to start your little obsession now that she's around again." As if he understood. As if he knew what he really felt. As if he was any better.

Spike leapt out and swept Xander back against the tree, Anya screaming 'hey' in protest. "You didn't tell me." Spike pushed Xander harder against the bark hoping to cause at least some pain and discomfort without setting his chip off. "You brought her back and you didn't tell me."

"Well now you know." Xander shrugged off, not worried about the chipped vamp holding him to the tree. There was really nothing he could do anyway.

"I worked beside you, all summer." Spike needed an explanation. He gave them all so much and they wouldn't even give him this**. **

"We didn't tell you." Xander actually felt bad. He couldn't believe it but he felt but he did. Maybe it was just pity. That would make more sense. "It was just….we didn't. Okay?"

"Listen. I've figured it out. Maybe you haven't, but I have. Willow knew there was a chance that she'd come back wrong. So wrong that you'd have... that she would have to get rid of what came back. And I wouldn't let her. If any part of that was Buffy, I wouldn't let her. And that's why she shut me out."

"What are you talking about? Willow wouldn't do that." Xander shook his head but internally was battling himself. Willow wouldn't do a thing like that. Not unless she was really, really desperate. Buffy's death caused one of the most desperate states she'd been in. It was possible but he wouldn't let this demon monster be right. Willow was better than that. She wouldn't. Would she?

"Oh. Is that right."

"Look. You're just covering." Xander transferred the conversation back to Spike. He was just trying to get him mad anyway. "Don't tell me you're not happy. Look me in the eyes and tell me when you saw Buffy alive that wasn't the happiest moment of your entire existence."

Spike shook his head and started to walk away not wanting to deal with the twerp or tell him it was true. He still didn't understand. "That's the thing about magic." He jumped on his stolen bike and started it up. "There's always consequences. Always!"

What the group outside didn't know was that Buffy was at her window listening, an ear pressed close to the glass. She went over initially, not intent on eavesdropping, but because she couldn't see herself in her mirror and wanted to see if that was true for any reflective surface. It held true. She could stare and stare and stare but all she would see was the reflection her room provided.

Sneaking out through the window was easy. Almost too easy to climb out and land on the ground without a sound. Xander and Anya kept walking at a slow pace as Spike was long gone on his motorcycle. It was obvious where he was going, back to his crypt. She just needed to get there and she hoped he wouldn't go out to the bar and return drunk and useless.

Xander and Anya didn't even hear her and they were going in the opposite direction anyway. A run seemed like the best idea for her. The town would still be burning but the demons were gone. Too bad because she really did want to fight something, she really just had too much extra energy. To displace some of it she lifted her legs and started pounding on the pavement, excited by just how fast she could go. Each muscle she used seemed to sing with her movements like they'd been waiting in wait with her for this very moment. She could always go fast as the slayer but this was super-fast. All wonder-womany. She blinked twice and was down the street. If she kept at that rate she would get to the crypt before Spike did.

Another coy smile and she was off in that direction.

* * *

Willow made a call to Giles as everyone else got ready for bed, leaving Buffy to sleep it off and not bother her again. Little did she know Buffy was long gone.

"Did you get through to London?" Tara asked as she finished releasing the knots stuck in her hair.

"Yeah." Willow responded, gathering lotion to put on her arms. The talk with Giles and telling him what happened, leaving out a few details, went better than she thought it would. He wasn't nearly as excited as she hoped he would be but it was the middle of the night there and it still went well. "He's gonna head back, as soon as he can. I'm not sure, like, maybe a couple days."

"How did he take it?"

"Um. I'm not sure. I mean... glad, but... kinda weirded out, which I get, you know? Lots of '_dear lords'_." Willow gave her impression of Giles' accent, earning a giggle from Tara. "And I think I actually heard him cleaning his glasses."

"Are you worried?"

"Worried? Tara it worked fine. It's all good."

"Hey Will this is me." Tara scolded, getting into bed. "It doesn't all have to be good and fine. This is the room where you don't have to be brave and I'll still love you. If you're worried you can be worried."

"Well I'm not un-worried. I mean, what happened? That was intense." Willow started to close the door and slip into bed with her girlfriend. "That's gotta change you. When Angel came back, Buffy said he was wild…like an animal."

"Buffy isn't like that."

"Yeah."

"But?"

"It's kind of noisy up here tonight, you know?" Willow said tapping at her head as she internally worried about her friend's return. It was nothing like what she expected. Something was just different about it. It was meant to go differently, even though it went as wanted.

"Yeah." Tara rolled to her side and cuddled into the warms of Willow's. "Is this better?"

"Yeah. I think it makes things quieter in here."

"You know what I think? I think we all just assumed crash positions."

"Huh?"

"It-it-it's like, you're all tensed up. Like, you were expecting it to screw up. You weren't prepared for it to actually go right."

"Yeah." That was true but there was just something else. Buffy. She was different than how Willow thought she would be. Different than how she used to be. "Tara?"

"Yeah?"

"If things did go right... wouldn't you think she'd be... happier? Like, wouldn't you think she would be so happy that we brought her out?"

"Sure she is." Tara tried to reassure her though in her mind she had similar thoughts. Buffy did seem different but she also seemed in shock. It was probably one of the same and as soon as she was back to normal she would be ecstatic to be home. "You thought she'd say thanks. Be more grateful."

"Would I be a terrible person if I said yes?"

"Give her time. She'll get there."

"Right. No need to be in a big, fury-hurry."

"Exactly." Tara smiled at Willow's wording. "I'm sure it's okay."

They didn't know how wrong they were.

* * *

Spike went straight home. While getting into a fight with random demons sounded fun, he wasn't in any mood. The bikers drove a lot of them out anyway. He didn't want to be bothered. He just wanted to pace in his anger alone.

The little punk was right. Seeing Buffy alive was the happiest moment in his existence but at what price would it come at? She didn't look good. She didn't look normal. She didn't look happy, so how was he supposed to be?

He went down to the bedroom he made for himself and started pacing about, running through all he would yell at Willow when he had the chance. He would yell at all of them. If only he had the damn chip out of his head. He could actually show them he meant business. Instead he was left to scream and threaten until one of them pointed out his disability. It would be pointless. They wouldn't listen.

Each pace brought another spurt of anger to him resulting in him actually punching the rock composing his walls. It wasn't the smartest thing he'd ever done as even stone could hurt a vampire. Sure enough his knuckles were open and bleeding. The sight of it almost directly resembled Buffy's newly acquired injuries from crawling out of her grave. He had to chuckle at the irony of it all.

In the middle of his chuckling he could hear the doors of his crypt opening. His first thoughts were of how good it was. A fight he may get after all. He leaned over to his makeshift bar and pulled out a knife, throwing the sheath somewhere to the ground before climbing the stairs to meet his attacker. He sneaked around and sniffed the air not recognizing any human smell, so it wasn't Dawn, before turning around a pillar and seeing; "Buffy."

Buffy had ran a bit more than expected after realizing she had the energy. She probably could have beaten Spike there if she hadn't done the extra laps. Still she had and so she made her presence known when she saw the bike outside the crypt. She almost regretted doing so as soon as she saw the magazines laid out on the table inside. They were definitely women's magazines by the covers on them and she wanted to know what they actually were, for better ammunition, before Spike found her. _Glamor? People? Cosmopolitan? _

Before she could even re-read the title of _Cosmo_, he was there staring at her with shock on his face. She turned and smiled both at his shock and the lingering effect of discovering the magazines. She slipped her fingers in the pockets of her jeans and tilted her head to the side, deciding what she wanted to tease him about specifically.

"You should be careful. You never know what kinda villain's got a knife at your back." His flirting was off but Buffy assumed that was because of the shock he was still having. He probably never expected her to visit.

Then the smell hit her. There were no distractions at the graveyard, or at least not nearly as much as the house. She got the full effect of Spike's room and of himself. The one smell above the rest was a mix of that savory, metallic blood with a little more spice and an odd wet wood smell that came with it. Fixating on it she was drawn to Spike's side her eyes dropping to where the knife was held.

"Your hand is hurt." She said helpfully, rolling her eyes at herself. That was a stupid thing to say.

"Hmm." Spike turned to his hand knowing what she was talking about. "Same to you." He nodded in her direction hoping she wouldn't be able to tell how he hurt his hand in the first place.

"Right." She nodded and tucked her hands into her back pockets. She never did fix them. She really didn't see a need to. They didn't hurt.

An awkward pause filled the room as they both tried to word what they wanted to say to the other. Spike went over to his shelf to drop of his knife and was first to speak.

"That Willow's getting pretty strong, isn't she? Bringing you back. It's hard to get a good, nice death around here." He started to chuckle awkwardly and smiled wider when Buffy joined in. "You can sit down. Got furniture." Buffy turned and sat down in a cushy looking chair, crossing her legs and waiting for him to say something. "You should see the downstairs too. It's quite posh." He nodded awkwardly not wanting to sound like he just wanted her down there because he got a new bed, though that was an idea.

No, he couldn't think about that. He promised himself that if he ever got a chance to see Buffy again, as unlikely as that was, or if he found any way to communicate to her, he would tell her what'd he done. He would explain why he failed. He would tell her he hated himself for it. So he went over to a stone pillar in the middle of the room and sat against it.

"Uh. I do remember what I said. The promise. To protect her." Buffy looked up to Spike with a blank face. She knew he was talking about Dawn and his promise to protect her. That wasn't at all what she was interested in. She was just surprised that he hadn't noticed her vampire vibe yet. It was just the two of them. Still, it would be interesting for her to see what he had to say.

"If I had done that... even if I didn't make it... you wouldn't have had to jump." It was something Spike thought over and over again to himself. Her death was ultimately his fault. "But I want you to know I did save you. Not when it counted, of course, but after that. Every night after that. I'd see it all again. I'd do something different. Faster, more clever, you know? Dozens of times, lots of different ways. Every night I save you." He locked eyes with Buffy waiting for her to say something, anything.

Just when she thought he waited long enough she answered him. "Every night except tonight."

"What's that slayer?"

"I'm back. There's no saving me now." Buffy gave a half smile at her own little joke. She was very much so beyond saving.

"Right. Um…" Spike wasn't really sure what to say to that so he just grinned his wicked grin . "Say, aren't you leaving a hole in the middle of some soggy group hug? Thought they'd be throwing you a pizza party or something-"

Buffy smirked at him and gave him her best sour expression. Nothing about a pizza party or soggy group hug sounded good. "Just wanted a little time alone."

"Oh. Um…"

"I can be alone with you."

"Thanks ever so." Spike chuckled at her behavior but stopped himself at a second glance. Something was really off about her. She didn't want the big hug? That wasn't like her. Even if she was in shock, she loved her friends. She would want to be with them. "Buff? Slayer? Are you okay?"

She leaned over towards him giving him her best catty expression. "Never been better."

"Buffy, if you're in... if you're in pain... or if you need anything... or if I can do anything for you..."

"No." Buffy shook her head and lifted herself up onto the arm of the chair as if to show just how not-in-pain she was. "That's not it."

Spike shrugged, not really sure what else to say about it. She definitely was acting weird and she was definitely pushing it off as nothing. "Well, I haven't been to a hell dimension just of late, but I do know a thing or two about torment."

Buffy's face fell as soon as he mentioned hell dimensions. He had been to a hell dimension 'just of late' or however the hell he said it. He was forever living in one. Immortal until someone offed him or until he accidentally slept walked into the sun. Now she was stuck as well. Stuck in this torment.

"I was happy." She spat, realizing she probably needed to elaborate further. Anger seeped into her explanation growing with every word. "Wherever I was... I was happy. At peace. I knew that everyone I used to care about was all right. I knew it. Time... didn't mean anything... nothing had form... but I was still me, you know? And I was warm and I was loved and I was finished. Complete. I don't understand theology or dimensions, or any of it, really... but I think I was in heaven. And now I'm not." Buffy snapped, jumping off of her chair and pacing in the small void between Spike and herself. "I was torn out of there! Pulled out. By my _friends_! Everything here is hard, and bright, and violent, and painful. Everything I feel, everything I touch...it's all so horrible! Torment. This is hell! Just getting through the next moment, and the one after that, knowing what I've lost... Hell."

Spike's eyes grew in shock as he absorbed all Buffy said as she paced. Her friends. They would pay. He warned them! He told them! They did this to her? No wonder she was so miserable. How could they?! "Slayer, I-"

"But I plan on changing that." Buffy cut him off before he could elaborate his disgust.

"How?"

"With your help."

"What do you-"

"Spike-" Buffy laughed at him, turning her body in a circle in front of him, letting him have the full view. "Have you really not figured it out yet?"

"What do you-" Spike let his eyes circle with her body taking the opportune time to appreciate how every curve shaped her body perfectly. She stopped turning, abruptly stopping his hypnotic stare.

"I know you were in shock before but that's had to of wore off by now. Look at me Spike. Really look at me. Am I not different?"

"Well after what you've been through I'd imagine that'd made a mark."

"No, just…just listen."

Spike tried to ask for what but Buffy held up a hand and cut him off. After a moment he just shook his head at the lack of sound in the crypt. "I don't hear anyth-" Realizing what that meant he slammed his mouth shut and tried to listen for the thumping. There was no thumping. Where was the thumping?! "Buffy. You don't-"

"Have a heartbeat?" She asked excitedly. `

"What's wrong? Are you-? How are you alive?"

"I'm not. Not really."

Spike barely registered the fact that she didn't seem to care she was still _dead_. All that excitement over her return and she wasn't even really back. All that waiting and hoping for a miracle and this? No. It couldn't be. "But you can't be-"

"But I am." Tucking her fingers under her turtleneck Buffy lifted her shirt off, the cold not bothering her bare skin even in just her black lace bra. Leaning forward for Spike to see she pointed to the burn mark the cross made on her skin and smiled. Spike's eyes grew even wider and so she decided to really push the limit. Though she'd only done it once before, she concentrated on her head and the face she saw so many times before, letting the pressure build and springing free she could feel the demonic face burst through. "Vampire."

"Oh shit." Spike jumped back at the sight of Buffy's morphed face. He'd never pictured her like this. Well, alright, maybe a couple of times he used his imagination when he was alone with just his hand and memories to keep him company. But he didn't really expect it to happen. He didn't want it to. "Bloody hell. Fucking…Bloody fucking hell! This wasn't meant to happen. Not to you."

"Well it did and I need your help. I need your help Spike." She moved towards him, ignoring the part of him that flinched as her demonic visage inched closer. Stepping in front of him she grabbed his bloody hand and cupped it in her own. "I need help. I have a pounding headache, my throat hurts, I have all this energy, and everything is just so much." Buffy's confident tone fell to an unfortunate begging while explaining her needs. "There's just so much going on. I can hear everything, smell everything, see everything. Light hurts. Demons smell. And humans, oh my god."

"Yeah they do that." Spike almost chuckled as he gripped Buffy's hand tighter in his own. Of course she was a vampire. He was a completely idiot for not realizing. Humans, sure they didn't know a thing. But a vamp not recognizing another vamp? That was just sloppy.

A big part of Spike was screaming at how wrong it all was. Buffy was the good one, she wasn't meant to become something like this. She was meant to go out fighting for the good of it all, like she already had. Things could only get magnificently worse for her. From what she said, she was all-powerful new-born vamp-Buffy and she had a damn good reason for hating her human friends. Things were not going to end up going well.

"Everything is just so-"

"Overwhelming?"

"Yeah."

It took Spike a moment to answer as he looked over the new Buffy in front of him. He'd always found the power the demon face came with sexy and on her, it just enhanced it all. Standing there in just her jeans and that very skimpy bra he had to concentrate real hard at not letting his imagination run away with him. Even with that cross-shaped burn, harsh against the glow of her skin in the moonlight, she still managed to look flawless. He shifted uncomfortbly as his jeans started to pull too taught and tried to get back to the problem at hand.

"It's why most new vamps get smoked." He continued to shift until he wasn't looking directly at her chest anymore. "It's all new. It's like being born again."

"How do you deal with it all?"

"Well first off killing someone helped. Gets rid of the headache and throat thing."

"Great! Help me go kill then!"

Buffy stared leading him back towards the door with his hand only he put his foot down making her spin back to face him. "No! No, no, no, no, no. You aren't killing _anyone_. You would never forgive me if I let you. Neither would Dawn."

"Well I'm dead. I don't care." It was a valid point but not the one he was trying to make. "And Dawn doesn't have to know. No one does. In fact, they can't know. I don't want anyone trying to kill me. Again."

"They're your friends Buffy. They aren't going to kill you."

"They can't know. They're not my friends." Buffy added quietly though she was sure Spike could hear her. "And how the hell am I going to deal with anything if I can't kill someone?"

"Just-" Spike shook his head at the ridiculousness of it all. He always wanted to get Buffy alone in his crypt, bring her down to the basement for a drink or two, get her to take some layers off, see where the night led. Well this was not what he was picturing. "Here, come here. And put your shirt back on."

Into the basement Buffy followed putting on her shirt, smiling to herself at Spike's constant need to stare at her chest. Calling him a pig came to mind but then again, it was kind of flattering. Even dead she could still make him drool. His downstairs was rather nice. She assumed that's what posh meant. She wasn't about to ask. She followed and took in the giant fourposter bed and mini bar and other assorted items through the room. It was quite homey.

Spike led her over to the bar where he dove down to his small mini fridge and picked out a jar of blood. She was not going to like it one bit but she needed to drink something or she would be killing her family next. There wasn't any time to spare.

"Here you go pet. Drink this."

Buffy took the jar and opened it, her nose recoiling at the horrible pig-sty aroma. "Pig's blood?! That smells disgusting."

"Yeah and it tastes worse. You made me drink it, I'm making you." He grinned at her, soaking in every bit of revenge he could as she brought it to her lips and took a sip.

"Oh god. That's so gross." As disgusting as the blood was, the moment it ran down her throat she could feel the pain start to ebb away. The burn faded with the liquid and the pounding stopped in her head. Closing her eyes tight and maneuvering the jar between her fangs she took in more, drinking it gulp by gulp. Her tongue revolted but her body craved more. Her stomach, well… "Oh god I'm going to throw up."

"Well don't do that." Spike took the almost empty jar from her and put it back in the fridge. "I'm out after this. I'll have to go out tonight. Pick up some more."

"How do you stand this stuff?" Wiping a hand over her mouth she felt her face shift back to look like a human. As gross as it was it did the trick and the pounding finally receded.

"It's better warm. Mix it with stuff. You'll figure it out."

"No way am I drinking that stuff again."

"Well you're going to have to."

Buffy frowned at him but could tell he wasn't about to budge on the subject. He was obviously stuck on her being human. She would just have to get him to realize just how vampire she really was. She was every bit of beast as he.

Buffy licked her lips, a bad decision on her part at the taste pig, and sauntered her way to Spike's side deciding seduction was definitely the best way to go. With her best sex voice she leaned in and whispered; "What does human blood taste like?" It wasn't the sexiest question but she was sure it would work.

However, Spike was apparently immune as he walked away and started re-ranting. "I don't understand how you managed not to kill. That's the first thought on every vamps mind. You were around a bunch of humans. How did you not kill them? How did you not kill Dawn?"

"Well I didn't know what it was. Till Dawn cut her finger. I vamped out. No reflection. Then I just didn't want them to know. Not yet."

"It still doesn't make sense. You shouldn't have control like that. Not unless you fed."

"Well I haven't."

Spike's mind started reeling at the possibilities. How? How was it possible? No vamp could resist human blood when it was so readily available. Blood was even littering the streets after the demon bikers had their run through. It was impossible, purely impossible for her not to have fed. She must have done it subconsciously without registering it or something ridiculous like…like that. "Willow really has outdone herself." Spike started to shake his head madly yet again trying not to flip out without Willow actually there for the abuse.

"Huh?" Buffy grunted, completely lost.

"You were bleeding!"

"Okay, so?"

"She brought you back, all of you. You and all your parts. Guts and blood included. You've been eating yourself."

"Eating _myself_? I've been eating...myself?"

"It's why you've had so much energy. Why you didn't eat your sister. You've been eating slayer blood. Now I knew you'd be into some stuff love but that's down right kinky."

"How's that even-?" She was going to ask how it would even be possible for her to eat her own blood and not know it but an even more horrifying thought crossed her mind. "Wait. Will all this power go away then? After I drink myself dry?"

"I don't know. No slayer's ever been changed before. No vamp would pass up the opportunity to kill one. Also, you know, no vamp ever comes back more than a night after. You actually fully died, for months. You're a first. And everything...everything comes with a price."

"What?"

"Magic. The spell they did to bring you back. This has to be the price. You come back from the dead…well dead."

"Exciting." She ran and leapt onto his bed jumping up and down like a little girl.

"What?!" He ran over to her and scowled form the end of the bed. "Exciting? Buffy, you're dead!"

"But I've never felt more alive!" She actually still felt overloaded but alive was something she would have said. While she hated every moment of it, it was still more than she'd ever felt before. It wasn't the power she hated, just how she got it and where she ended up and who brought her there. "So tell me, while I was gone, what happened? Whose idea was this?"

Spike's mind drew a blank for a moment as he watched Buffy jump, her chest jiggling with her body. "I don't know. They didn't include me. Dawn didn't know. Probably Willow's. Her spell. Why?"

"Willow." Buffy stopped her jumping and flopped her butt back onto the bed. "She's different from the others. Connected. To me. Why?"

"Well she brought you back." Spike joined her by sitting by her side and glancing at her as he spoke. "She made you what you are. She's your sire I suppose. You always have a connection to who sires you. It's gotta be weird though. Being sired by a human."

A human sire. It couldn't be a good thing. Willow was so weak and fragile and she was so strong, it didn't add up. "I wonder what would happen if I drank her." Buffy mused.

"Nothing good I'm sure. Connections like that aren't meant to be broken so easily and – hey-" Did Buffy just talk about _drinking_ her best friend in the whole wide world? "Why are you talking like this? This isn't like you."

This was wrong. It was so very, very wrong. Buffy was supposed to be the good one. She was never supposed to change. She was supposed to stay perfect.

"I'm still me." Buffy defended, crossing the room and crossing her arms at the stubborn man. He of all people knew what it was like. "But I died Spike. I died and was ripped out of heaven by the people who called me their friends. It's gonna change me."

"But it's not you. You would never kill your friends or even think about it. No matter how horrible a thing they did to you."

"Betrayal is an interesting thing Spike. Don't you know what that feels like? Didn't your sire betray you?"

"Don't bring her into this!" Spike jumped from the bed and curved around her body, trapping her beneath his arms.

"Dru left you!" Buffy spat back, unafraid and even grateful that she got a rise out of him. He would finally understand. Reaching up she took each shoulder in her hands and shook him to try and get him there faster. "You thought she loved you and I thought they loved me! Look at what they did to me!"

"Well maybe we can change this!" Spike understood her frustration. He really, really did and he had half a mind to let her take it out on them but he had to try everything to get her back first. He wanted the woman he loved. "Magic made you a vampire maybe we can use it to change you back."

"I don't wanna go back!" She pushed him away from her to stand and with her extra strength from her own blood he stumbled back easily. "You want me to go back to being human again?! This is hell enough, I don't need it to get worse."

"But you'll be back to being a slayer. You'll still have more strength than any human."

"And I'll go back to saving the day and everyone and my life will be miserable while everyone else is happy. I'll sacrifice everything for them and how will they thank me? By letting me die for them and then bringing me back dead. I'm not going back to that life Spike. I've saved this miserable rock more times than I care to count. It's my time now."

"Your time? Your time for what?"

Without giving her response Buffy started to climb the stairs and call down. "Don't tell them. Not yet. Leave that to me."

"Buff?" Spike stared at the gap she seemed to leave in the room. "Slayer?!" She refused to return though he knew she could hear him. "Buf- oh bloody hell!"

No. This was really, really not going to end well.


	3. Onion Blossom

"She's still sleeping. I tried to open the blinds but she hid under the blankets. I think she's really exhausted." Dawn told the group the mild version as they met for breakfast that morning.

It worried her. Buffy usually didn't sleep that long. It amazed Dawn how she would normally get up before she even did for high school and she went to bed early in comparison. Buffy had always been a night person but that was still impressive. She just chalked it up to slayer powers. Lack of sleep wouldn't get her down.

She was extra worried at the strain of profanities that her sister let loose when trying to get her to come down to have breakfast with everyone.

_"I don't want any pancakes."_

_"Are you sure? They're chocolate chip. Your favorite-"_

_"I'll tell you what you can do. You can take those fucking favorite pancakes of mine, stick them all up your asses, right where the sun don't shine, like it shouldn't be doing, right now, in my room! I don't give a fucking flying damn what you do with them once they're there, as long as you close my blinds and leave me alone so I can go back to sleep!"_

"Well she probably had a lot taken out of her." Xander chimed in, stuffing pancake into his mouth.

"Yes. Cross-dimensional travel always is exhausting." Anya nodded along. "When I was a vengeance demon, I had to jump across dimensions many times. I would have to wait at least a day to grant wishes in some cases."

"Well we'll let her sleep. See how she is this afternoon." Willow said, trying to hide her worry.

"Should one of us stay home with her? In case she needs us?" Tara asked while handing Willow a glass of orange juice.

"I'll do it!"

"No Dawn. You have to go to school." Willow scolded the teen before turning to Tara. "I have a test today, can you do it?"

"Oh so I have to go to school but you don't?" Dawn asked crossing her arms over her chest.

"I have an assignment to hand in." Tara said shaking her head.

"I can't miss work. Which I'm late for. Sorry guys." Xander jumped up with another bite and gave Anya a my-mouth-is-full peck before running out the door.

"Well don't look at me." Anya shook her head as she started to follow Xander's lead and head for the door. "I have the Magic Box to run. It's mine now. No matter what Giles says when he comes back. The store and the money are mine."

Anya popped out and Willow shook her head at the three left in the room. "Well shoot. We can't leave her alone. Who else is there?"

"There is Spike." Tara shrugged out.

"Yeah but the sun's out." Dawn pointed towards the open blinds in the kitchen.

"He's gotten here before with the sun."

"I don't know-" Willow started to argue but Dawn cut her off, running to the phone already.

"I'll call him." Dialing the number she knew by heart she didn't wait for them to argue and instead waited as the phone started to ring.

"What?" Spike's cranky voice snapped a greeting.

"Spike?"

"Dawn?" Obviously. She was the only one stupid enough to call him when he was sleeping. "What do you want? Do you know what time it is?"

"Yeah. Sorry. You probably just went to bed. Um. Well, we were hoping that you could come over."

"Why?" Spike's voice clearly sobered at the prospect of a Summers being in trouble. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing's wrong. We just don't want to leave Buffy by herself and none of us can stay home."

"What? Slayer can't take care of herself for a day?"

"Well she's just sleeping but we want to make sure it stays like that. We don't want anything to… well we want to make sure she's safe."

"And this was everyone's idea? Even the whelp? He think it was a good idea to leave me alone with Buffy all day?"

"She's my sister."

"So he doesn't know?"

"Well…"

"Give me a bit." He grinned at the look the twerp's face would have when he realized he was the one out of the loop, decisions he wouldn't like being made without his consent or recognition. "I'll be over."

"Thanks Spike."

"Yeah, yeah. You owe me for this Little Bit."

"I'll bring you home an onion blossom."

"See that you do."

The call ended without a bye and Dawn clicked the phone back down. "Spike's on his way." She told the other girls as she grabbed some breakfast herself, eating the only pancake Xander left behind.

"Alright." Willow nodded as she went to finish getting ready for school and Tara went to put away the rest of the batter.

"And you have to get him an onion blossom." Dawn called as Willow was leaving, a dramatic sigh being her immediate response.

"You know if he keeps eating that fried food it'll go straight to his thighs!"

* * *

When Spike entered the house everyone had left. Not a sound could be heard because no one alive resided in the house. Not anymore.

Throwing his blanket to the side, he walked up the stairs and cracked Buffy's bedroom door open. There she was, under the covers, completely out. He was a bit jealous having only gotten two hours of sleep before he was woken up. The curtains were drawn and she was in no danger of sunlight so he closed the door and went over to Dawn's. He slid against the walls of the room until he was able to quickly close the blinds. No light was getting in so he jumped to the bed and went straight back to sleep.

It was hours before he was woken by some movement at the door. His senses on alert, he peeked open an eye, an arm reaching for the lamp for use as a weapon, ready to fight, but saw Buffy standing there instead. Nope, not a demon. Well…yes a demon, just not a threat. Most likely. He kept his hand on the lamp just in case.

"I could smell you." She said simply, leaning against the door, still wearing the clothes from the night before. A moment passed before he realized her smile was genuine and he could let the lamp go.

"Go back to sleep slayer." He rolled back around and closed his eyes again willing the stubborn girl to follow his lead.

She made no move to leave as she stared at Spike's limp figure, cataloging everything she could about him in her new state. She had only a glimpse before. After waking she could hear him in the other room, her senses still coming into focus. At first she thought it was Dawn, getting the nerve to try and wake her yet again (it didn't go well for her the first time). But then she heard, or rather didn't hear, the lack of noise. There was no _thump-thumping _anywhere in the house. Everyone had to of left. It was then that she smelled the odd aromas of Spike. Leather, cigarette smoke, crypt must, the strange blood concoctions he drank, and even small traces of actual smoke, like he was standing next to a fire. From Dawn's pestering about the 'beautiful day' and from her moronic show of opening the blinds, Buffy could only guess what that smoke actually was from. Seemed someone went out for a daylight stroll.

Spike's smell wasn't the only thing that drew her into Dawn's room. She had initially woken because of a dream, a dream she didn't care to revisit. So she continued to stand in the doorway, lingering on thoughts that would keep her from having to go back to bed. Being stuck inside all day wasn't helping her distract herself from how tired she really was. After running around the night before and unleashing her new world on the other vampire, she really did have it taken out of her. It seemed coming back from the dead, dead, still made her dead tired after all.

After giggling to herself over how many ways she could fit 'dead' into a sentence, she decided to fetch for a conversation. Spike was still lying there, unmoving, but she knew he wasn't sleeping. She could hear his fake breathing. "What am I going to tell them?"

"Hmm?" He grunted the question in genuine lack of understand what she had just said. Enhanced sense of hearing or not, that didn't stop him from not paying attention. He was more focused on the fact that she was standing there. Looking at him. Sleeping. How was he supposed to take that?

"I'm sleeping all day. How do I explain that?"

"I don't care." Spike rolled over more, all the way on his stomach, too tired to realize Buffy was actually reaching out to him. He hadn't even considered the possibility of turning her new found dead-ness into a relationship between the two for them. Even if that relationship was just vampire mentor to vampire mentee. "Just go to bed."

"I can't." Buffy whispered back, leaning further into the doorjamb, starting to pick at chips of paint she hadn't noticed before. When she wasn't being blinded by her younger sister with the lights or the sun, she actually saw a lot of things. What she did miss seeing though, was the pure moment of worry that etched across her companion's face.

"Why the hell not?" Pulling the pillow over his head to cover his eyes he tried to seem much less concerned than he felt. Not only was it unusual for the slayer to sound so vulnerable, even if it was just for a moment, but she was a vamp now. The whole not caring thing carried over, he saw that much last night when she was talking about offing her friends. It genuinely worried him that she sounded so small. Not that he cared…too much.

"No reason." Buffy snapped, turning to leave. "Forget I said anything."

"No wait." He sighed in defeat as he tossed the pillow to his side and propped himself up to look at her, rubbing the sleep from his face with his palm. "Wait. Buffy. What? What's wrong?"

"Nothing." She shrugged with an annoyed frown on her face.

He growled low in his belly, something her human self would have missed but the deepening in her frown made him believe she heard it that time. Well so much for trying to be the nice guy. "God you're stubborn."

"Just go back to bed."

"Fine." He grabbed the pillow and shoved it back on his head, flopping back to his side, as he listened to her leave the room and she scrambled back under her covers.

So much for a conversation. It didn't even have to be nice. He always found the quickest route to pissing her off.

* * *

Sleep usually came pretty easy to Spike but it didn't seem he would get any that day. A while after they parted, a small yelp ripped him out of bed and brought him running to Buffy's room.

"Slayer?!"

She was lying in bed, nothing had changed, just her eyes moving behind their lids at a million miles a minute. Another small scream came from her lips and he ran over, shaking her violently so she would wake.

"Slayer, wake up!"

With a gasp of air Buffy opened her eyes and coughed herself awake. Slowly her dream faded away and the blonde man focused in front of her eyes as he rubbed her shoulder blades to get rid of the gagging. "Spike?"

"Yeah. Yeah it's me." He moved closer to her on the bed and moved his hand in wider circles on her back. "You okay?"

"Fine." She snapped as she fell back onto the bed and he dropped his hand away from her body. "Perfectly fine."

"Fine?" He leaned over her to get in her line of sight so she could see his incredulous look. Looking at her face, so pouty and annoyed, he couldn't help the cocky grin that fell so easily into place. "Well I reckon you had a nightmare."

"Well you reckoned wrong."

"Oh really? Is that what all the tossin' was about then?"

"Just leave Spike." She turned away from him and tried to close her eyes to sleep again. That attempt failed as soon as the dark caved over her and the dream started to reappear.

It wasn't really a nightmare. It wouldn't be considered a nightmare anyway. It was a memory more than a dream. A memory of the time she had in her little piece of heaven before she was torn down. The dream turned and that's where the twisting and tossing and screaming came from. The feeling of perfection was always closely accompanied by utter pain and torment. Blood everywhere, sounds blaring, lights blinding, and nowhere to go but to dig herself up and out. It was her coffin all over again. Just the pitch black and the scrambling to get out of it.

Instead of closing her eyes again she just stared at the opposite wall finding cracks, waiting for the other vamp to leave like she asked.

"You want to talk about it?" He tried asking nicely but was sure some annoyance made it sound fake.

He really could help if she just let him. Hugs for nightmares wasn't exactly his usual but he'd done his fair share. Not too long ago she wasn't around for Dawn re-seeing her sister's death every time she closed her eyes. Not to mention the sights he saw himself every time his mind got away from him.

"I want you to leave." She tried again as her eyes darted in and around the cracks she found. Flash after flash, blink after blink, it was all just so dark.

"Too bad. Move over." He stood and started to slide into the bed next to her. That had her flipping over in an instant, her worries of the dark engulfing her forgotten, pushing his body away from the bed.

"What? No!"

"Fine." He shrugged and fell to the floor, sprawling out with his arms under his head. She rolled to her side and stared at him with her mouth open and her face scrunched in confusion.

"What're you doing?"

"The floor's fine. No need for me to come running every time you have a little nightmare."

"Shut up." She fell back into her bed but a small smile crawled across her lips, no matter how many times she tried to bite them shut.

He smirked back from the floor closing his eyes for what felt like the hundredth time. "Go to sleep."

It came a surprise to both of them when they actually did, no more dreams or screams intervening.

* * *

"Buffy?! You up yet?!" Willow called through the house having stopped by between classes just to double check on her. "Buffy?" She walked around but didn't see her. "Spike?" No answer so she walked up the stairs. She started to get worried that maybe Spike didn't come, maybe something did happen to Buffy, but that was just her paranoid side. Then again it was Spike and he wasn't exactly the most reliable. She trusted Spike just as much as the next person but…well that wasn't saying much.

Opening the door she could see both of them fast asleep, Buffy in her bed and Spike on the floor. She rolled her eyes at his odd behavior but secretly was a bit glad he wouldn't leave her side. As messed up as he was, he did care.

Surprise came as soon as she started to leave when she felt strong hands close against her throat and slam her against the wall. She screamed on impact and blinked before Spike came into view.

"Willow? Sorry." He dropped her and she stood on her own, clawing at the tightness left on her trachea. "Thought you were-"

"No. No it's okay." She cleared her throat and took a deep breath, trying to calm herself from the sudden adrenaline rush. "At least we know you're doing your job." She chuckled but he didn't laugh. He checked on Buffy quick again before walking down the stairs ignoring Willow as she followed, her intent on grabbing something from the kitchen.

At least the witch woke him up only a few minutes into _Passions_. He could make it just in time having skipped what happened last episode.

"Spike!" Willow shouted from the kitchen. "If you're going to bring blood over, can you at least keep it in a separate container or something? It was touching my lettuce."

"Yeah-sure-whatever-shut-up." He turned the volume up louder and rubbed his face, double checking that all blinds in the living room were closed. He always suggested they keep a TV in the basement but they wouldn't let him. They kept arguing that he only came over to babysit Dawn when it was dark out. Still.

Willow finished making her salad and sat on the couch, near Spike's chair, still in view of the TV. "So has she woken up yet? She said anything?"

"She might have if you ask during a commercial." Spike spat back. Willow grunted and started on her salad, mumbling to herself about how touchy the vamp could be with his soap. He of course heard but ignored her.

The next commercial Willow leaned forward and muted the TV. Spike turned to her and waited for her question. He didn't care so much about lying to the humans. They lied enough to him. It was more about Buffy's safety. She had a point in that her friends wouldn't take her being a vamp well but he couldn't keep it to himself. He had to help her somehow. Timing just had to be right. At least that's what he kept telling himself the night before.

"So. How is she?" Willow asked looking up the stairs again. Buffy hadn't made a sound.

"Fine. Tired."

"Did she say anything? Eat anything? Is she hungry? Thirsty? Did she wake up yet? Has she-"

"Whoa. Slow down Red. She woke up once but went straight back to bed. She's out of it still. I'd leave her alone."

"Oh. Okay. How'd she look? When she woke up?"

"Glowing." He rolled his eyes sarcastically as he walked to the kitchen knowing they had some of that soda he liked. Willow followed and he elaborated before she could ask. "Not wonderful. Had a nightmare."

"Nightmare? Oh god I can only imagine." Willow's worries doubled in a matter of seconds. She really did need to focus more on Buffy. She should have expected the bad dreams at least. It really was selfish of her to think she would be a happy cheerio just because she was back. There had to be a lot of baggage from hell to deal with. She only wished she could have been there for her first hand instead of asking her vampire sort-of-friend-but-not-really. "Does she remember anything? About hell I mean. Is that why she had the bad dream?"

"I don't know." Spike finally found the bottle he was looking for and twisted it open, looking at the clock in the kitchen timing the commercials with these questions. He went back into the living room, just to be safe. "You'll have to ask her."

"Okay." Willow nodded, following him back into the room. "Thanks Spike."

"Whatever." He flipped the remote back into his hand and hovered his thumb over the mute button. Suddenly, as the sleep started to wear off his body, he realized just how much he wanted to say to this with. How much damage she had caused without even knowing it. The dumb bitch had no idea and here he was just promoting the idea that everything was fine and dandy with little miss vamp up the stairs. "You know what actually?" _Passions_ could wait a moment. "I have a bone to pick with you."

"A bone?" Her eyes bugged open as she glanced at the TV and the actors started to reappear. What could be so desperate that he would ignore the commercials ending?

"Yeah." He tossed the remote to the couch and stood, stomping over and towering over the short woman. "You did this right? You brought her back. You did know, didn't you? You knew there was a chance something would go wrong! That she wouldn't come back normal! What if she didn't? What if she's not? What price did she pay? Do you even know?"

"I brought her back!" Willow yelled back, defending herself. Why was everyone so worried? She was back, she was fine, she was saved, all thanks to her! "I saved her!"

"Stop trying to play the hero. Your reasons were selfish."

"Selfish?! I did this for her!"

"Do you honestly believe that? Have you wired your mind to make that make sense?" He drilled a finger into the side of her head, all he could do with the chip in his head and the rage he was feeling. She flipped his hand away and he went back to shaking his hands in front of her face. "You don't even know what you did."

"You know what Spike? No one asked for your opinion. So you can just…you know…zip your lip." She crossed her arms and scowled at the vamp above her, trying her best not to show the slight amount of fear she felt. Of course, Spike wasn't the cause of that fear, not completely. Yes, he could be intimidating but he couldn't actually do anything about it. It was more about the fact that he was a bit right.

"Zip my lip? Listen here. I am much older than you _little_ _girl_. I know a thing or two about this stuff. All magic comes with a price. I'm not about to let Buffy pay that price so whatever you did, you're going to be the one that fixes it!" Leaving all that for her to digest, he walked back over to the couch and flipped the mute off, half way into the scene where Angela's twin sister seemed to be screaming something at Tito's convict half-brother. God he would never catch up. "Now shut up. It's back on."

Willow watched him turn the TV on and heard the screaming of the people in the box. The small prickles of her magic energy started to tease her from the inside out. Least to say, she was furious. She did this miraculous thing, something no one else had the power to do, and they were just yelling at her for it. She could see it in everyone else's eyes too. They all had that worried look as Buffy seemed so distant. She was just in shock and it was not her fault! Buffy would come out of it. The least they could do would be to say thank you but instead she gets stares behind her back, questions she can't answer, and a cranky vamp laying it into her in her own home. She did not have to put up with this. The crackling grew as the power within her coursed and she moved to stand in Spike's way of the TV. A shout of protest was cut off by her, "I had my test this morning. I can skip the rest of the day. You can go home."

The deadly tone of the witch's voice actually caught his attention. He could feel the fire inside her spinning about. Usually she didn't rile up so easy. When Buffy left she was a bit on edge, definitely worthy of the title 'bitch of the year' but she was back now, as she just reminded him. It only meant that he made a point with her. "Fine." There was no point in getting into a row with her. He wanted to, desperately actually. His words were not enough to convey how much he wished to bash in that red head of hers but he just couldn't. Any fight would just end up with him sun baked. He stood up and stomped out of the room muttering as he walked past. "Keep an eye on her."

* * *

"Spike?" Buffy called out his name as she woke up, realizing he was no longer on the floor. "Spike are you still here?" There was no answer so she walked out of her room towards the stairs. Now knowing just how sensitive a vamps hearing could be she knew he would hear her if he wanted to. Unless he was wrapped up with the TV or something. "Spike?!" She yelled out but stopped when she realized that funny feeling had returned, the feeling she got when Willow was around. It was only guaranteed by the _thump-thumping _drawing nearer and the shriek of her voice coming closer.

"He's not here." Willow said, coming around the corner. "I am. Yay!" She reached out and touched Buffy's arm, trying to shake it a bit but all she did was glower so she took her arm back. "Are you hungry? Do you want me to make you a sandwich? You can take a shower, get some other clothes on." It was odd that Buffy was still wearing that turtle neck but it was probably due to just how exhausted she was. We've all slept in our clothes at one point or another.

"Just thirsty." A fake smile greeted Willow but she wasn't the wiser to it. They both traveled to the kitchen, Buffy making sure no sun was getting into the house at any point, and Willow started to rummage through the fridge.

"Well we have milk, orange juice, water- obviously-, cranberry juice, and ew!"

"What?"

"Spike left his blood here!" Willow reached in the fridge and pulled it out turning it in her hands so Buffy could see. The disgust on Buffy's face matched Willows but it in no way was faked. She could smell it from where she stood. Still, terrible smell or not, the sight of the blood did make her thirst, her headache returning slowly.

"Just leave it." She shook her head already thinking of when she could sneak some of that later. Spike must have gone out after she left just like he said. That would mean he'd have more so she could take that no problem. "He can get it later."

"Okay but it's going to the back of the fridge. Right next to the questionable ham. What do you want?"

"Cranberry." It was red. Like the blood. The two would match well, though it wouldn't be warm. She still had so much to ask Spike. How long to microwave a jar of blood being the main question on her mind.

"Here you go." Willow poured both of them a glass and slid Buffy's within reach. "You want to drink out back?"

"No!" She didn't mean to shout but she did so she tried another small smile and came up with the first excuse she thought of. "Sun still hurts my eyes."

"Well that's cus you slept all day silly."

"Yeah I was pretty out of it."

Usually when left with her best friend, Willow would find herself talking like crazy, no awkward pauses at all. It didn't seem to be the case now. Talking about the hell dimension would have to be properly timed and she couldn't imagine the conversation she would have in the meantime while that ball of questions lingered over them.

"Well Dawn and Tara are at school." Buffy started to tick her glass with her fingernails taking small sips before clicking away again. An afternoon of sitting around and chatting was not something she felt like doing. Especially not when the conversation was going like it was and especially not when every thump of Willow's heart reminded her more and more who her sire was, who brought her to this hell, and also made her head hurt ever so slightly more. "Anya and Xander are at work." More thumping, more anger. How the hell did Spike control himself when he had the ability to eat people? He wasn't exactly prone to anger management. "Anything you want to do before they all get home?"

"Where's Spike?"

"Um-" Willow deflated as Buffy's eyes darted across the room. She was really hoping for a little excitement for girl time between the two of them. It was nothing against Spike specifically, though she was still pissed off for what he said earlier. It was just that a part of her wanted her to ask for her, not him. "He went home when I got here."

"Will he come over with everyone else?" The Buffy's Back Brigade was bound to drive her headache into a full blown migraine, pig's blood or not.

"Well. Usually he only comes over to babysit Dawn or go patrolling with us. You want him here?"

Buffy couldn't help grinning at the frown on Willow's face. Maybe she could hit two birds with one stone. Someone understanding that could get her out of the room if she asked and a way to annoy everyone so they would leave early. "I'll just call him later."

"Yeah. Right. Okay." Why did she have to be so distant? There was just something off about her. "Buffy?"

"Yeah?"

"You're alright, right?"

"Of course. I'm fine."

"I mean…It's just that-" Spike's words kept reverberating off the walls in her mind. _All magic comes with a price. _He had to be wrong. There was absolutely, positively, now way to Hecate he was right…but it couldn't hurt to double check. "Well with magic sometimes there can be side effects and I want you to come to me, you know, if you feel anything. Different that is. Dizzy, upset stomach, demons sprouting from your head. You know the usual." She tried to giggle but it seemed lost on Buffy.

So now she was worried about her? Now she was worried about 'side effects'? If only looks could kill. Buffy sure was trying her damnedest as she glared at Willow from over her half empty glass. Maybe if she concentrated just hard enough she could make it so Willow just tripped. Maybe tripped back into the sink. Maybe her hand falls in the disposal. Maybe as terrible luck has it, she turns the disposal on. Maybe her deafening screams are heard by no one because Buffy runs forward and helps put her out of her agony by putting her fangs to good use. Two sharp mercy givers easily sinking into the pounding of her neck.

"Sure." Buffy answered instead. Spike said killing your sire wasn't a good idea but it sure felt like one.

"Oh!" Willow ripped her out of her continuing daydream. "I forgot to tell you! I called Giles. He should be home in a day or two?"

"That's soon." Buffy said through clamped teeth. This whole pretending to care and be human thing was not all that easy. It really would be easier just to kill them all and be done with it. But why would she let them get off that easy?

"Yeah well he wanted to see you."

"Right. No. It's good. Good."

"Yeah." Awkward pauses were becoming a normal thing. Willow would just not stand for it. "Are you sure you don't want to eat anything? You haven't eaten since…well you didn't eat yesterday."

"I'm fine."

"Okay. Just don't want a rumbly tummy."

Awkward pause, awkward pause, awkward pause.

"Also, um, Spike told me you had a nightmare." It wasn't the most tactful way for her to bring up the topic, that she did say she would leave alone till the right time, but anything was better than what they were doing. "Do you want to talk about it?"

"It was nothing." Oh she was going to get him back for that. The tattle tale. She didn't tell him about the dream, why would she want to tell anyone else?

"Well, I just mean, did you remember something? Do you remember anything? From over there I mean."

"No." The lie was so easy to say. "I don't remember anything."

"Okay well if you do and you want to talk about it, I'm here." She started to reach out to put a hand on Buffy's arm but Buffy pulled away far too soon, reaching for the cranberry juice in the fridge. "How bout I put in a movie?" Willow tried get her excited, about something, anything. "They'll be back by the end of it. I could make popcorn!"

"Sure." A movie sounded better than trying to pretend to not want to kill her. Plus, while Willow was looking for the popcorn, she managed to sneak some blood into her glass. It wasn't quite the same consistency but Willow wouldn't know.

After watching _The Princess Diaries_, a popular movie that apparently came out when Buffy was in the ground, she was ready to repeatedly smack her head into the wall beside her. Conversation would have been a better death. Not that smashing her head would do anything.

While Willow was watching she had been zoning in and out figuring things out in her head. Her talk with Spike the night before kept rolling over in her mind.

She didn't exactly have the urge to kill someone, unless she smelled their blood, but she also realized she wouldn't care if she did. Even looking at Willow, the person who was supposed to be her best friend, she could kill her and not care.

Running through her supposed friends in her mind she could only really think of one person she wouldn't kill and feel bad about; Dawn. She was a blood relative after all so maybe that had something to do with it. The blood relative could be debated but based on the whole dying for her thing, it seemed to hold true. Even so, if she needed to kill Dawn, she would. It would be a bit sad, maybe a bit hard but she was sure she would get over it eventually. After all Dawn was the damn key that ruined most of her life right before she died. She kind of was the cause of it all. But that wasn't in Dawn's control. And that was the heart of it.

Bringing her back from the dead and ripping her out of heaven, that was in her 'friends' control. That was their fault. She was living hell because of them. Buffy was just talking, saying the words that first came into mind, when yelling at Spike about it in his room but it was true. Betrayal was a powerful thing. Then it really sunk in. She had everything that people strive for in life; a happy, peaceful, content ending in heaven where nothing could go wrong ever again. She was safe and loved and everyone she had cared about was alright. It was her friends that put her there and then they just took it all away. They were the ones who did this to her. Everything she felt, every craving she had, every smell, all the sensitivity, all the pain, it was all their fault. They made her life hell and they didn't even care.

And Buffy wanted revenge.

Revenge, the perfect word. She knew her friends deserved something more than just by ripping all their throats out. No, this had to be planned. It wasn't just revenge on her 'friends' but also on the town itself. Hell, the entire world owed her. She'd saved it enough times.

Not anymore. No. She deserved more. The world owed her for all she gave up and all she sacrificed. As far as she was concerned, she saved the world so many times, it was hers. So she was going to claim it rightfully.

First thing was first; she needed to figure out this whole vampire thing. She hadn't planned on listening to Spike about not killing anyone because really that pig's blood was disgusting but she needed him on her side. He would be able to tell in an instant if she killed some person, especially if it was someone who lived in her own house. She needed Spike on her side, helping her to learn more and because he was a useful tool. Also because she suddenly found him very relatable. He really was the only one she could actually talk to and for some reason that made her want him around. He just wouldn't leave her mind.

Lying about, staying away from the sun, and sleeping during the day, would be easy. The lack of appetite, drinking of blood, and cross burn would be hard. She would just have to act as normal as possible until she had a plan in place. She would have to be so good, Giles wouldn't even know what was going on. That would be tricky.

The first thing she did while Willow was cleaning up the uneaten popcorn, well Buffy didn't eat any, and put the movie away was find Spike's cell and gave him a call, moving towards the dining room to keep an eye on Willow and make sure she didn't hear.

"Look here Niblet," Spike answered on the fourth ring. "Willow kicked me out when she got home. I still get my onion no arguments, you got that?"

"Spike."

"Buffy?"

"Yeah."

"What's going on now?"

"Everyone is coming over and-and the smells and the blood and… I don't know if I can handle it. Alone. I was wondering…" She waited for him to say something, anything but he just let the line lie dead for a bit. "God don't make me say it."

"What?" He was obviously amused in his tone of voice and Buffy couldn't see the way he smirked, biting his lower lip between his teeth.

"Can you come over? All these humans smooshed into a room together and I'm going to have to kill half the town before I get rid of the headache."

"Did you get the blood in the fridge?"

"Yeah I drank it. I'm alright, for now, but that wasn't exactly the headache I was talking about."

"What? Don't want to be with the cheery 'everything is love and peanuts' gang. Need me there to hold your hand?"

"Love and peanuts?" Where did he come up with this stuff? "And no. I just- I can't- I don't know what to do yet. It's not the right time. Plus Giles is coming soon. Don't want them spilling to him."

"Don't worry slayer. I'll be there." He had already been planning to stop by unannounced so this just worked out fine. "Just make sure Dawn has my onion blossom."

"Okay?" Maybe she would have to try this onion blossom as a vamp. Maybe there was a reason he was always on about it. "We should leave early too. Go patrolling or something."

"You want to go patrolling?" He leaned the phone in the crook of his shoulder as he sorted out his duster, planning to walk to her house. This was really going better than he imagined. The fact that Buffy was a soulless vampire aside, he could get used to her needing him around. The idea of patrolling with her, just the two of them, sounded perfect. "With me?"

"Well-"

In his earlier days, before the chip, he would have questioned any vamp who killed his own kind as if it was his job, like a slayer, like every demon did with him. But as she and he were in particular situations, it could be forgiven in his mind. Still didn't mean he couldn't tease her about it. "Killing your own kind?"

"You do it." Buffy was on her way up the stairs to find an outfit that would cover her chest as well as the turtleneck and still not look like grandma clothing. "Besides, need to make myself still look normal. I have all this pent up energy still. Need to get rid of it somehow."

"Well I have a way." She instantly hit her head at her wording as Spike's voice dropped to what he must have considered his 'seductive' tone. "You'd get your chance to see how soft my new bed really is."

"Oh shut up." She couldn't help giggling anyway. "Just get yourself here."

"Yeah, yeah. Will do boss."

* * *

"Buffy!" Tara was first to greet her before going off to kiss Willow after everyone had made it home from the Magic Box. Apparently it was a schedule they all kept to. Everyone would meet there, Dawn would do her homework, and then they would all go to the Summers house to get ready for patrol.

"She's awake!" Xander was next, running over to give her a hug, driving her insane. "Look at you, walking, talking, breathing." Buffy chuckled to herself. "You're the picture of fine health."

"Buffy!" Dawn came running in with another hug, driving that insane up to bat shit crazy, before they all backed off to give her some room. Not enough room to stop the thoughts of taking an axe from the cabinet and slashing all of them open in one good go.

"Hey guys." Buffy nodded at them, hoping that was something she would normally do.

"Anya has pizza-" Xander looked around for the boxes but didn't see them or her. "I better go help her."

"And I have Spike's onion flower thing." Dawn chimed in holding up a to-go box. "Where is he?"

"He's coming over soon." Buffy said with a small smile. At least Xander wasn't in the room to complain. Maybe it would have been entertaining if he was. Then she could tell him to shut up and he wouldn't be able to say anything. She could really milk the being dead thing if she really wanted to.

"I'll put it in the fridge." Willow said coming forward to grab it. "I'll put it next to his blood."

Blood? The blood that was gone because Buffy drank it? That blood? "I got it!" Buffy said, running to grab the box from Willow.

"You sure?"

"Yeah. Gonna get some more cranberry anyway. Never enough vitamins or whatever is in this stuff."

"Okay."

"Hello everyone." Anya held the door open for Xander who held three pizza boxes in his hands.

"So Wills, how's she doing?" Xander asked after setting down the boxes in the living room and double checking Buffy was out of the room and out of earshot, or so he thought.

"Fine. She's a little zoney. I think she just has a lot on her mind."

"Does she remember?" Tara asked with a hand on Willow's arm.

"No. I think she may have had a dream about it but she didn't remember anything."

"Should we ask her to patrol tonight?" Xander asked as he opened a box and stuffed a good size bit of cheese into his mouth.

"Isn't it a bit soon for that?" Tara asked as she too grabbed a slice.

"I don't know." Anya said as Xander handed her a piece. "She had no issues destroying those bikers. She may even want to fight. With all that time in a hell dimension I'm sure she'll feel right at home if she kills a few demons."

"Well we'll just have to ask her." Willow said as she shifted the boxes to get at the peperoni.

"Yeah." Xander nodded. "We can always send Spike out if not."

"Gonna let me have all the fun? How nice of you." Spike appeared in the archway, leaning against the beam and glaring at Xander.

"What the hell are you doing here?" Xander shot back.

"Well I don't know about you but I was invited."

"By who?"

"Buffy." Willow said quickly, trying to stop the fight.

"Right." He smirked at the twerp and turned to Dawn. "Now tell me you have my onion."

"It's in the fridge." Dawn said smiling at him.

"Thanks Little Bit. Want any?"

"No. I got cheese with grease thanks." Dawn help up her slice before taking a bit bite.

"Well I-"

"I wasn't talking to you whelp." Spike left the room before Xander could explain he was only saying Spike couldn't have any pizza.

"Kill me." Buffy whispered to Spike as soon as he walked in the kitchen. She had his onion blossom out on the table having microwaved it as soon as she smelled him walking in. She took a bite out of it and didn't actually think it was that bad. She also finished off the blood by way of cranberry juice again.

"Can't do that pet. You're already dead." He whispered back, leaning on the table, noticing her new outfit. The shower really cleaned her up nice and her hands looked almost all the way healed. Her cross burn would stay a bit longer because that's just how it was being a vamp but the sweater she wore covered it nicely. Looking at the place he knew it to be he couldn't help the image of her in just that skimpy little lace bra resurfacing. He'd caught her changing a couple of times when outside her house but it was nothing like her undressing in front of him. He couldn't let his thought linger too far though, he reminded himself, as he made sure his bottom half was hidden by the table. "Though I'll kill you more if you keep eating my onion blossom."

"Do they really think I can't hear them?"

"Humans. They forget others have ears. Luckily, I'm your savior."

"How's that?" He reached into his pocket and took out another jar of the horrible smelling pig's blood. "Oh god not more of that stuff."

"Give me a mug." He popped open the jar and tilted it into the empty mug, sliding it into the microwave and letting it do its job. Truthfully he could give Buffy some real, not gross human blood. Just because he couldn't drink it didn't mean she couldn't. But he remembered how it was. It was pure glory to drink it but hell and a half to go through withdrawal. She would be better not knowing.

When the timer beeped he slid the jar to the table and took out another small jar mixed with spices he found helped with the stuff. It wasn't much, just a couple of kitchen usuals but it helped.

"Thanks." Buffy took the heated mug now smelling of clove, cinnamon, ginger, and sage. Tentatively she brought it to her lips and took a small sip, a moan she did not mean to sound escaping from her lips. "Oh god."

"Better?"

"Much." Another few gulps and she couldn't stop the noises coming from her. This wasn't just something to dull the ache, it was lighting her brain on fire. Everything just felt so right as the heat of the blood reached her belly and the dizziness set in. "So much."

"Keep making noises like that. We'll give the humans something to listen to."

"Pig." Probably wasn't the right adjective she was looking for based off the noises she was making while drinking the pig's blood.

"Bitch." He smirked back, fully understanding the irony.

As she regretfully finished the glass she knew she had to face the rest of the group so she rinsed it in the sink and grabbed fresh cranberry juice to keep up the disguise. "Well let's go then."

In a matter of moments Buffy was wishing she could leave the little pizza party. Everyone joined around her in the living room, all avoiding asking her the questions that could set her on edge and instead trying to clue her in on all she missed while gone. It didn't really matter to her, though she was curious when Anya kept trying to hint at something big changing and Xander kept trying to shut her up. She was wishing for the fight to happen so she could just slip away unnoticed.

Instead she was forced to sit and listen and nod along until she couldn't stand it anymore. She found her attention being brought back over to Spike, his power coursing over the others, sitting on his own distant from the group just off to the corner, in the dark. Only Willow's power seemed on the same level as his. She was no where near his strength but the power of her witchcraft was evident over the humans surrounding her. Buffy thought she must have just been sensitive to it though, her being her sire and already knowing she was a witch and all.

Still Spike was the one she found herself looking at. Dawn was closest to him, trying to include him in the conversation he didn't want to be a part of. As the thumping noise in the room grew unbearably loud, she found it easy to stare at him and watch him watching them. His eyes were mostly darting around the room, lost in his own thoughts, but eventually he would feel the eyes on him and catch her staring, to which she would promptly look away. Why did she keep getting drawn to him?

After the fourth time he winked and stood and announced that he would be doing everyone's job and go out patrolling, inviting only Buffy along for the ride. The others started to object, something about her health, but before they could even finish a sentence she was saying bye and running out the back door.

They had walked around the main graveyard for a while, not actually running into any trouble, much to their disappointment, so Buffy took the time for the questions that popped into her mind.

"I don't feel anything." Buffy's statement kind of came out of nowhere as they had just been talking about how horrible a movie Buffy found _The Princess Diaries _to be but Spike could follow, mostly. "Is that normal?"

"What do you mean?"

"Physically I feel. A lot. But I don't feel anything. Other than annoyed really. I mean I feel betrayed and angry but I remember living before. There was something. Something more. Something worth living for. Well not that I'm alive now."

"Makes sense." Spike nodded with his hands balling into fists in his pockets trying not to take her '_something worth living for'_ as a hint at suicidal thoughts. He wasn't about to lose her again. "You had a purpose before. A fire in your heart, driving you to save everyone and everything. We just need to get that back."

Looking down Buffy turned the wooden stake over in her hands. Funny, it was always her weapon of choice. It always had the ability to kill her but it somehow seemed more of a threat. She had a short list of weaknesses before death and in her unlife that was limited even more. Still, all that power and a piece of bark was now in the top three.

"Not sure I want that exactly. Look where that got me. Saving the world killed me."

"We'll figure it out. Just promise me you won't do anything stupid. No staking yourself or running outside at noon alright?"

"I'm a demon now Spike. I'm not getting back to heaven. I don't plan on killing myself. I really will end up in hell."

"Well aren't you optimistic."

"Oh like you're the poster boy for optimism."

"Well you used to be." His voice dropped dramatically, put out at the thought of his lost Buffy. She was still there, right next to him but he had to remember she wasn't the same. She looked the same, felt the same, talked the same, laughed the same, hell she even smelled like her old self, to a point, but she wasn't the same. Even how she looked at him while the brady bunch were all yapping just made it obvious. She never used to look at him before and especially not with that sense of longing he got from her. That was how he looked at her before she died. He just thought it had to do with her being a new vamp, completely lost. He would have been lost too if it wasn't for Dru. "Optimistic, I mean."

"Sorry." Buffy pouted, a little put off that they had just been chuckling and he could so soon turn his thoughts back to how she used to be. She wasn't that girl anymore. "Being killed can really take that out of you." She stopped walking and pulled Spike to a stop, making him look over at her. "And since I'm stuck this way, I want you to teach me. Teach me vamp things."

"I would think you, being the slayer and all, would already know everything."

"Don't make me kick your ass." She held the stake threateningly in between the two of them.

"Careful slayer. Wood beats vamp every time."

"See, lesson one."

"No, lesson one is never threaten your master."

"So you're my master now huh?" Buffy outright laughed and she noticed how he chuckled too, leading the way on their walk again.

"Like I said, wood beats vamp."

"And you're the wood- oh god. Perverted much?"

"Only for you pet."

"I bet you say that to all the vamps." Without a rebuttal Buffy looked to see if Spike saw something they could hunt but he had his eyes on her, a small smile pressing on his features.

His thoughts turned around the idea that if he couldn't have his perfect human Buffy back, then maybe he could deal with this new vamp version, especially if he had the chance to be around her so much, at least until they figured something out. While she wasn't herself...she kind of was. The love he had for her was starting to blind him to her demon side and he knew it would completely if he didn't stop it right away.

"What?" Buffy asked with a laugh as Spike's smile refused to leave his face.

"Come on." He chuckled, leading another path between the stones. "Let's find you a vamp to kill. You're far too feisty with all that energy."

"I thought you liked me feisty." She called, barley having to jog to catch up to him.

"That I do love. That I do."

Fuck it. He always was love's bitch. If it blinded him, so be it.


	4. Leak In The Basement

"Buffy?" Dawn crept around the corner of her sister's room, sticking her head through the door and carefully whispered to the sleep girl that she was afraid would burst into the bitch from the morning before at any moment. "There's a leak in the basement."

Buffy growled low and loud as she flipped onto her back and crossed an arm over her closed eyes. Peeking through she could tell no sun was in the room, so that wasn't a problem. The problem was the blood filled human waking her up after so few hours of sleep. Spike and she did manage to find one vamp the night before but it was barely a challenge for her. She got to play with it a bit, leading it through a maze of gravestones, flipping, jumping, and tackling, wounding it then letting it go again and again. It was fun but the only one they ran into before the sun started to rise and they had to part ways.

"So you go fix it."

Dawn breathed out, already anxious of Buffy's reaction. They had tried fixing it. "Well we were going send Xander down there but he said he was more of a wood guy and then none of us could reach and I don't know where the wrench is anyway. So I was going to call a plumber but I wanted you to know and-"

"Oh my god." How was it that she'd been dead for months and they still didn't know where the fucking wrench was? And weren't ladders invented? "Fine. I'll get it. Give me a minute."

"Thanks." Dawn smiled and ran from the room, allowing the morning monster the minute she needed.

Waiting for her in the kitchen were the familiar faces of her friends and family; Xander, Willow, and Tara. Anya was on her way over after a late start.

"How's Buffy?" Willow asked hopefully when she saw Dawn enter the room.

"She's grumpy." She muttered back, slumping into a kitchen chair.

"Probably because she went to bed two hours ago." Tara explained with a small frown. Maybe they shouldn't have let her go patrolling with Spike.

"Only two?" Willow asked back with a frown of her own. Well now she felt bad for telling Dawn to wake her up. She thought she'd of come in much earlier than that. She had to of been out all night. Spike's doing probably. She would have to have another little chat with him. If she could control herself. Magic still crackled every time she pictured his face, his unnecessary accusations playing out in her mind.

"Yeah I heard her come in late." Tara answered. She always was a lighter sleeper than her partner. "A night of late patrolling I guess."

"Maybe she turned nocturnal." Xander joked. "Not that she wasn't before. Our little Buffy bat."

"Yeah maybe." Willow nodded while double checking the stairs for their friend. Nocturnal wouldn't be anything too weird or out of the ordinary. But somehow…it just didn't feel quite right.

Buffy did eventually roll out of bed and fumble her way down the stairs. Not only was she a little off balance due to the lack of sleep and the horrible headache that started to form with all the human blood and thumping in the house, she also managed to fall straight on her ass when she reached the bottom of the stairs and realized the sun was shining through the door window. It was a close call, her foot almost stepping into the pain promising beams, but she managed to fall and twist her body back into a much less compromising position.

Upon reaching the kitchen door there were the usual cheery greetings made whenever she surfaced from her room. There was a reason she didn't want to get up. The high pitched chorus of _'look who's up'_ made herself want to change her mind, trip back, and throw herself into that door light. Burning alive sounded rather pleasant compared to having to smile like she was, pretending to be happy that they commented on her awakeness, like it was a fucking magic trick. Look who's up? Someone who functions like a regular human being, waking up. Well…human not being a key term.

After asking, well more demanding, the blinds be shut she promptly made her way to the cellar where she found the wrench in with the tools like they always were. Did they not even look for it? The ladder seemed to be missing but after a glance around she saw the small stepping stool hiding in the corner.

It was so easy to be in the cellar, surrounded by the dark and the chill of the underground. The walls were thick and she could barely even hear the outside world, apart from her sister running up and back down the stairs to grab the phone.

The leak was easy enough to find without being prompted in its direction. All she had to do was close her eyes and the _drip drip drip _brought her right to the problem. It wasn't even that bad a leak. It could have waited until the afternoon when she was planning to get up.

"Wrench." She pulled the wrench to the joint in the pipe, fitting it down and clamping it into place. "Do your job so I can go back to bed." The twisting was hard because the pipes were rusted but the strength running through her muscles made it completely possible, it was only a tad annoying. Or was that something(one) else?

"Are you sure you don't want me to call a plumber?" Dawn rattled the phone in her hand looking down at the guy's number Xander gave her. "I've got the number right here."

"Shut up Dawn, I got this." Just one more pull around and the clinking of the water stopped completely. But just as she started to step down and run to the comfort of her nice dark room, the water rushed through harder. She could hear it all swarming through the pipes and in one loud shot, it exploded out and at least half the pipes surrounding her broke off letting the water free and sending it gushing through the room. "God damn it!" She screamed as water started to pour over her body.

"What happened?!" Dawn screamed from the top of the stairs, where she ran from the sprays in hope of staying dry. It didn't work great but she was nowhere near as wet as Buffy.

"What do you think happened?!" Buffy screamed in her sister's face when she reached the top of the stairs, glaring down to the bottom where the impending puddle started to form.

"Oh no!" Willow exclaimed at the sight of the wet Summers. "Dawn go get changed for school. Here Buffy, here's the plumber's number."

"Yeah thanks."

Could she kill them out of pure embarrassment? Just to save herself from the mocking? Would Spike allow that?

She doubted it.

Buffy called the plumber and waited for him to show up as she wrung the water out of her hair and clothes. When he answered he said he couldn't come for an hour but she wasn't having any of that. A small threat may have escaped her lips in the form of; _'If you don't get down here right now this job will be the last job you ever do. Water is your specialty isn't it? That mean you have special abilities like breathing under it? Cus we can test that theory._ And that's when Xander promptly took the phone and talked to the plumber by name, apologizing and saying something about _'not a morning person'_. The result was still the same. The plumber came over quick and the problem would be solved quick so she could go back to bed.

* * *

"Wow that's a lot of water." Dawn followed the plumber's path to the door as soon as he arrived, being the one to let him in, and saw just how much water had cascaded in in the minutes they were gone. It was already looking like inches. "How much can these small pipes hold?"

"It doesn't work like that." Tara shook her head at Dawn as she finished eating her breakfast. "Water's hooked up to the city."

"So basically we get a pool in the basement?"

"Basically."

"Cool. I've always wanted a pool." She turned to Buffy with a smirk on her face. "Told you we should have called the plumber."

"Well congratulations." Buffy glared right back. "You were right."

Oh god how much she just wanted to take Tara's orange juice glass and smash it down on the table, throw a sharp piece at Dawn's neck and…she needed to stop thinking that. She knew she wouldn't actually kill her sister but something was bound to happen. She needed to get out of the room. "Wake me when the plumber's done." She walked out of the room, towards the living room, and dumped herself on the couch.

With Buffy having left the room, Willow walked over to the blinds above the kitchen sink and re-opened them, enjoying the sun for the second time that morning. She always had been a bit of a morning person. She just couldn't help it. Buffy used to like the sun too. It used to remind her she was human, well part human, after every hunt. It separated her from the vamp world. During the day, she got to pretend she was normal.

"You know, mom used to call us vampires whenever we closed all the shades." Dawn shoved a piece of toast into her mouth and chewed slowly before realizing what she was saying. "It was before all the slayer stuff. It's not really all that funny now I guess."

"No it's funny." Tara nodded but couldn't bring herself to laugh.

"Just not quite haha funny yeah?"

"Yeah."

"And a big Sunnydale round of applause for Tito the amazing, plumber extraordinaire." Xander called as he followed the plumber up the stairs and out of the mess.

"How's everything looking down there?" Tara asked Tito and Xander.

"Like we should start gathering up two of every animal." Xander answered with a smile.

"Basically your pipes are shot. I mean the whole system is gonna have to be replaced." Tito explained as Willow came to look at the invoice. "Which means full copper re-pipe job."

"Full copper re-pipe?" She held out her hand and took the paper from him. "That sounds potentially pricey." Looking down, she saw the number and gasped in shock. This was not going to help their problem.

"Well if you don't mind, I don't want to be here when you tell your sister." Tito started to leave, looking just the slightest bit nervous. "If you have any questions, my number's on the invoice."

"That's a weird phone number." Dawn said looking over Willow's shoulder. "Oh wait. Is that the bill?"

"Hey." Xander cut Dawn off. "Tito cut you a good deal down there. Those are his bargain prices. And I did a little haggling for you."

"Buffy is not going to like this." Willow shook her head at the invoice and looked over her shoulder at the living room. Pulling Xander to the side so Dawn wouldn't hear, she started to whisper her worries. "We're already low on money. With all those late bills…I don't know how we'll afford this."

"Well I know no one wants to hear this but maybe we should talk about the move again." Xander whispered back but it didn't matter, Dawn heard.

"Buffy'll figure out a way." Dawn growled, taking the invoice and walking towards her sleeping sister. There was no way she was discussing moving again. This was where she grew up, it was where her mom lived, it was where they belonged. Too much happened there to move into some stranger's house.

"Dawn." Xander tried to call but knew it was pointless. "I'm just saying." He turned to the two girls left. "Renting out a place would be cheaper and you could look closer to the school. Maybe even walking distance. Save on gas money."

"I don't know Xander." Willow shook her head, not believing she was actually listening to the idea. It wasn't that it was a bad idea but every time it was brought up, Dawn would through a fit. Honestly Willow didn't like the idea of moving much either. It was her home too. But if they couldn't afford it they would just be kicked out anyway. Then there was Buffy whose home it actually was. What would she think? Especially sporting the mood she had been in since coming back. "Buffy just got back. Do we really want to move her so soon?"

"Yeah. It may shock her more than she already is. We at least have to wait till we know she's better."

"Buffy." Dawn shook Buffy's shoulder in an attempt to wake her up as everyone started to move to follow her into the living room. "Buffy wake up."

"What?" She rolled around, putting her arm back over her eyes. What was that, two minutes more of sleep? She only conked out after the plumber had left. She couldn't help waking when he was leaving. It was hard not to roll over when he walked by. He was fat so the blood had a harder time. Each pump was slow and tantalizing and there was an extra spicy rush when he saw her notice him. He was definitely scared. She wondered what adrenaline actually tasted like. Spike didn't know they had plumbing issues. He wouldn't know a plumber was called. A fat plumber nobody? No one would notice him gone. But she wasn't giving her vamp mentor enough credit. He would figure it out somehow. "Can't it wait?"

"Not really." Dawn grimaced. Usually she wasn't the one breaking bad news. Honestly it was more that people broke news to her. She'd seen it done many times but Buffy was really off and she was very afraid of how she would take it.

"What is it?"

"The plumbing bill. It's a bit…well…imagine a surprise party but it's at a dump and no one is there and what surprised you was the large pile of garbage you fell under."

Dawn tried giggling but Buffy wasn't amused. "What?"

"It's a bit…more than you would expect. All the pipes are busted so we need to replace them all. No choice."

"Well what's the big deal? We'll just pay the plumber."

"Yeah about that…Money is kind of…well-"

"Well what?"

"Should I grab the box?" Xander asked from across the room to no one in particular.

"Yeah, get Anya." Willow answered with a nod outside, where Anya had stopped for a phone call before coming in, while Tara reached out to squeeze her hand. They were really hoping to postpone this particular conversation until a later date.

"Well since you've been gone-"

"Dead you mean." Buffy corrected as Xander returned with Anya who waved a silent hello and brought a box out from under the table in the room. While everyone talked she pulled out papers, throwing them on the desk for Buffy to look at while she pulled the log books for herself. Buffy just saw a bunch of words 'due', 'late', 'bill', all having to do with money.

"Well yeah." Willow swallowed, squeezing Tara's hand one last time before jumping into what had happened. "Since then we've been trying to keep up the payments but everything just keeps adding up. There's the funeral costs, the mortgage, the utilities, school. Xander and Anya pitch in when they can. Even Spike forced in a few bucks, we didn't want, but it's a lot. They each have a place of their own so, well not Spike but still-"

"So you're telling me I'm broke?" Buffy rolled onto her arm and pushed herself into a sitting position, really fed up with the conversation already. Why were they trying to dance around her like she was an idiot or like she would explode any second? Alright the second one made sense.

"Well not quite." Willow answered while glancing at Dawn. They usually tried to have these conversations when she was out of the room but it wasn't like she was going to ask her to leave now. "But money is an issue."

"You're kind of almost out of it." Anya said looking down at the numbers.

"You're mother prepared everything really well." Tara tried to say before Buffy could question where her money went. "She had insurance, life insurance, but that only goes so far. After the hospital bills that is."

"They're a black pit where all money gets sucked into." Xander re-explained with sympathy.

"Anya's been helpful of keeping track of it all for you." Tara nodded in the girl's direction and everyone turned to look at her.

"And I have an idea of how you can get more money." Anya said timidly, her idea having already been shut down by the rest of the group before.

"Anya-" Xander, as always, was first to try and shut her up.

"Start charging!" She continued excitedly anyway. "For saving people I mean."

"Anya stop."

"No, let her talk." Buffy said, surprising everyone in the room. "It's either that or I'll have to collect money another way. There's always the burn the house down and collect the insurance money. We'd have to find a good way to burn it though, so it's not our fault. Maybe we could fix it on the plumbing somehow. Blame it on Tito so they can't deny us coverage. I think that's how that works." Looking out she saw a sea of very confused and worried faces. Well she thought it was a good idea. "Guys. I'm totally joking. Don't worry. I'll get the money. Even if I have to dance on a pole. Just don't ask where it came from." Again they didn't seem to get the joke. "Guys. Kidding." It stopped her from mentioning her idea of letting Tito finish the job and kill him before giving him a cent. It wouldn't fix all her problems but it would fix some; pipes and blood fix.

"There is the possibility of moving as well." Anya said and everyone, other than Buffy, started glaring daggers at her. That was the one thing they were not going to say and especially not in front of Dawn. But that was Anya, never very tactful. "It may not be best right now, especially you being broke and without a job, but for the future. So if you charge people to save their life, like a thank you, then you could have enough money for the bills and to stay in the house and even a little extra to save up for Dawn's college fund."

"Anya, you can't charge innocent people for saving their lives." Willow shook her head and the lack of morals Xander's girlfriend possessed. Sometimes it was really hard to like her. "What are you going to do if they don't pay? Let them die? What if they couldn't afford it? It's crazy."

"It's not crazy."

"Yes it is."

"No. Spi-"

"Would you two shut up?" Buffy asked, rolling her neck back along with her eyes.

"Come on Xander." Anya turned to her partner. "Back me up here."

He stared at her and then at Willow and then at her again. He had to say what he thought. He couldn't pretend he thought it was a good idea. "Anya I just don't-"

"Of course not." She slammed down her pen on the logs and started to stomp for the door. "You never take my side."

"Your side? I didn't think there were sides. Anya!" Xander started to get up and follow her, huffing at the ridiculousness and embarrassment he felt. "I'm not taking sides. I am your side."

"Those two." Willow said shaking her head. With Anya, even in her best moments, she didn't understand why they were together. It wouldn't last.

Taking one last look over the sea of debt swimming on her table Buffy yawned and sat back in her couch. Bed was more important than these stupid human issues. She wouldn't get there unless the lookers left. Why were they staring so much? "Don't you guys have somewhere to be? I'll figure it out."

"Okay. Yeah." Willow answered, worried about Buffy's snapping and lack of freaking out. Actually she was worried about the combination of the snapping and the mentioning of burning the house down and blaming it on someone else. Buffy wouldn't never joke about burning down a house, especially her own. She just had to be tired. Two hours of sleep. Very tired. "Well let's get going." She said to everyone else in the room, shooing them back towards the kitchen to grab their bags. "Or we'll all be late."

"Buffy-" Willow called back from the kitchen as Buffy headed for the stairs to her above ground room. So went her plans of maybe taking over the basement as her own space. She could hear that the water had stopped pouring, something Tito must have done, but wasn't about to go swimming in what was already down there. "Meet us at the Magic Box tonight. We'll eat dinner there."

"Sure fine." She grunted as she stomped up every step. "See you then."

* * *

Deciding whether or not to go to the Magic Box was a chore in itself. The jist of it was, of course she really, really, really did not want to go but they would worry if they didn't. She didn't feel like answering questions so she decided to go. That didn't mean she would have to go alone. A quick call and she managed to talk Spike into showing up with the premise of needing more pig's blood. It wasn't a complete lie. Her head was hurting and she did need it but it wasn't the only reason she wanted him there.

She waited till the last possible second, enjoying every ounce of her alone time before trudging her way over there. It was night so there weren't too many people on the street but they still tended to be distracting as she kept coming up with new murder scenarios in her head. A few of them didn't even involve drinking their blood. They were just distractions so she could get blood from others. She went from complicated targets to the simple ones, like the teens. Passing a couple of ones coming down the street from the Bronze she could tell they were completely wasted. It wasn't in their sloppy walking or sloppy talking but in their blood. She could smell the alcohol and she had to wonder if she would get drunk off it herself. Given the chance, she would see. Maybe it'd be the same with drugs. She'd never done drugs before.

When she reached a clear sidewalk with no people she took a moment to slow down and actually enjoy her walk. There was a reason vamps were associated with the moon and since she was a child of the night now, she could appreciate it just like they could. Most day walkers didn't really appreciate the sun they had and even thought it'd only been a few days, Buffy could see just how important it was. It brought so much to the humans, to her when she was, but only pain to her now. She had a new item in the sky to worship, something that would shine light over her body and provide the shadows she could hunt in. The night brought on a sort of power that made that feeling in her muscles sort of tingle and thrive. Dead or undead or whatever, she could still appreciate the beauty in it.

But then she reached the shop.

"Hey Buffy." Dawn greeted from behind a school book, a big smile on her face. Buffy half faked a smile back as the heat of the room and the smell of it clouded around her. So much for that serenity. "Did you hear a bank got robbed today?"

"Did they bring us the money?"

"No." Dawn half laughed as Buffy entered the room a bit more, shutting the door behind her. "Unfortunately the demon that robbed it did not consider us."

"Demon?"

"Yeah." Tara spoke next, sitting at the big round table a large pile of books surrounding her. "They showed a clip on the news so we're going to try and figure out what it is."

"Alright." Buffy glanced at the food on the checkout table and grimaced at the sight of the Chinese. "I'm going to work out for a bit."

"You don't want to research?" Willow asked as Buffy walked past the table towards the back room.

"No." She answered back with a cheery fake smile, something she really just needed to paint on. "I'd much rather punch things."

Willow waited a few minutes while she finished her dinner, all while glancing at the back room door in worry, before she finally decided to get up and see how Buffy was. They still hadn't had a proper talk and she really wanted one.

Everyone else wished her well and went back to doing their work as she entered the room and watched Buffy. She had changed into a tank top and was really laying it out on that punching bag. Willow tip toed around the room until she was on the opposite side and Buffy could see her in her line of view. Of course she didn't know Buffy actually heard her the second she had decided to come and was actually still working on how to block out the rest of the groups ramblings from behind the wall.

Willow popped up on the work bench and waited, saying the first thing that came to mind. "What'd you do to your chest?"

Buffy glanced down at the red marks that were left from the cross burn. It didn't look like anything but she couldn't say it was nothing. Obviously something happened. "Scratched myself on my coffin."

"Oh." Willow sighed out in complete guilt, deciding to change the subject. "Did you find out the money thing yet?"

"I said I would work on it." Buffy didn't stop her punches while she spoke, only going stronger with every strike. "I've only been up a couple of hours. Don't worry I'll figure it out."

"What about a loan?"

"Don't be stupid Willow. I have nothing to offer for a loan. I have no assets and no job. The bank won't give me money." Plus there was the whole meeting them at their office thing. She didn't think anyone credible would meet her past sundown. Well, loan sharks, but how did you get in touch with one of them? Even so, sounded like a lot of work for something she didn't plan on following through on. Helping the humans wasn't really in her plan of revenge.

"Well, have you thought about getting a job?"

"Yup."

"And?"

"And I'm a college drop out. I'm not about to get any sort of job that will pay anything. Minimum wage will do nothing." Sun, not caring, humans, and revenge. All other reasons too. "I'll figure it out."

Willow really wanted to believe her but it didn't seem like she was doing all she could. The old Buffy would have been all over it, talking it over, coming up with a plan, or at least helping them in research while she was thinking. "But Buffy don't you-"

"I said!-" An extra hard punch in frustration made the entire bag swing out a lot higher than it had been, angling up to a point where it was on the verge of tapping the ceiling. That was not a good show of human weakness. That was a show of vampiric/slayer combo strength. Maybe Willow wouldn't notice the difference. She reached around and grabbed the swinging bag and pulled it back into its proper position, starting up the normal punches again. "I said I'd figure it out."

"Okay." Willow gasped while looking at the hinges that connected the bag connected to on the ceiling, making sure they weren't damaged. That was a very large reaction, though Buffy really had been quite bipolar lately. There was no doubt that something was wrong. "Um Buffy? Can we talk?"

"About what?"

"Well it just seems. Well since you've been back you've been a bit…I don't know. Unhappy. You haven't been really expressiony. You've just been kinda zombie-like, well not zombie, I don't mean to say zombie, but um…you've been zoning and then short bits of anger and well…I don't think it's good for you."

It took a moment for Buffy to think of what she wanted to say. She really wasn't good at pretending to be a human, was she? Guilt trip seemed good. "I was dead and now I have a bunch of bills to pay. How did you expect me to be?"

"You're right. It's just- You're right." It didn't feel right but Willow didn't want to start a fight. Buffy wouldn't have any reason to lie. She was fine, she would be fine. She jumped off the bench and started to walk for the door, apology in her voice. "Forget I said anything. I'll just…go…help the others."

"How's she doing?" Tara asked as soon as Willow shut the back room door behind her.

"Punching things." Willow gave a fake smile hoping to avoid explaining the fit she just caused her friend to have. It was not how she wanted that to go. With a frown she started walking back to the research table when she saw Dawn with a book in her hands. "Dawn you're doing research?" She was a bit young for that still, wasn't she? There were some very violent passages in those books, not to mention the pictures.

"Barely." Dawn pouted for a moment before flipping the book in her hands open and twisting it so Willow could see. "Though I did find this guy. You guys think it's him?"

"Yeah looks like it."

"Should we bring Buffy in on this?" Xander asked, looking at the door as if Buffy would magically decide to come through.

"Let her get a few more punches out." Willow said, sitting down and reading about the demon Dawn found.

Buffy ignored everything they said from their table and continued her violence against the inanimate object, picturing Willow's face for fun and loving how the anger fueled her further, allowing her to let the mask slip and her vampire face to shine through. She was so focused she almost didn't hear the other vamp slip in through the outside door.

Spike stood in the doorway a moment to admire the view in front of him. Golden glowing eyes, sharp pointed teeth, and fists as fast as freight trains all outlining the beautiful woman showing off the muscles in her arms and the small red mark on her chest. Even the biggest blemish couldn't take away from how remarkable she really was. "Brought you your blood pet." He shuffled in front of the bag she was punching and wiggled the jar in the air.

"Thanks." Buffy muttered, still focused on making the bag take Willow's place.

"You don't seem so chipper?" He shoved the blood to the side on the floor and held the bag for her so her target wouldn't sway as much, feeling every punch she gave as it transferred through the material. "What's crawled up your bumb? If you want I can check for myself." He gave her a half-smile smirk but it was lost on her completely.

"Bills." Buffy grunted before throwing a few more and stopping to explain her loss of a situation. "How the hell you guys afforded the house I won't figure out."

"Wasn't really a we thing. They weren't about to ask me for money. Wouldn't like where it comes from."

"So Willow said. She also thinks there's something wrong with me. This pretending is exhausting."

"If you tell them what's going on-"

"No. Not yet." She gave a few more punches into the bag, knowing Spike would understand eventually, before speaking again. "I have to pay them now, don't I? I mean, I don't care, but the human me would. How the hell am I supposed to do that? I'm not getting a job. I'd have to be around humans and food and most jobs are during the day. I'm not doing that."

"Well…" She resumed her punching again. "There are other ways at getting money."

"What'd you have in mind?"

"Just leave it to me. I know a guy."

"Oh come on." She stopped and shifted her face back into its human form, something she was getting more and more used to. Shifting back to demon would be easy. She had it under control. "I want to have some fun." She leaned on the bag, her face inclined towards the other vamp as he held the bag in an awkward, almost hug with her just on the other side. "Giles is coming home tomorrow. I need a pick-me-up before I have to deal with him."

"Gramps is coming tomorrow?" Spike laughed a bit and turned from his position. "Hell you're on your own for him."

"Don't leave me!" She called out, a little louder than she meant as the bag slipped when he moved, really not wanting to be left with the watcher, and also slightly worried that Spike was actually going back to his crypt now after dropping her blood off. She knew that was the reason she gave him but for some reason, she just liked having him around. She really was bad at pretending to be her human self. Then she noticed Spike's chuckling. "What? Why are you laughing?"

"I've just always wanted to hear you say that." He grinned wider at her when she tried to hide her smile and again found himself lost between the old and new Buffy. Oh what this girl did to him. This kind of hold could not be allowed. And yet she'd always have it.

"Shut the fuck up and give me my blood." She chuckled herself while reaching out her hand, ignoring the part of her that asked why she didn't slap him for saying something like that. The human her would have. Well, she even had to remind herself, she wasn't human. "How long do I have to keep drinking this anyway?"

"Well you're a newly formed vamp." He gave her the blood and she tossed it into the bag she brought with her for that exact purpose. She wasn't drinking it cold anymore. "Normally you'd have drunk a full human by now. You'll probably have to drink more of these at least until you've drank as much as a human. Plus you're drinking yourself so I don't know. Couple of days? Then it depends on you telling them." He nodded towards the door where the research team was working.

"Great." She gave him a sly glance before she faced him and started bouncing on her toes, angling her arms in a way that made her breasts look bigger, and giving him the perfect begging face. "Or you could just help me kill a human."

"No." He snapped back, practically immune to her puppy dog look. Empathy, he had, but the answer was still going to be no. She had a hold but he was still going to give hope a chance. Maybe he could still fix her. He had already been looking into it when he wasn't around her, though his results were coming up zero.

"Spike-"

"Buffy I told you no."

"Why?"

"I told you why."

"Yeah, yeah, Buffy before death wouldn't do such a thing. But I am dead. I'm like you. You of all people should understand."

"Ah. But I'm not people." Since he wasn't people he knew exactly how much hunger could drive a vamp to the kill. She had to have been thinking about it a lot already. He scolded himself for thinking he could leave her for so long. He needed to find more excuses to be with her to keep an eye on her. He didn't want anything happening to Dawn accidentally. Also, the one on one time wasn't bad. It may have been clouding his judgement but that didn't mean he couldn't enjoy it. "I told you no and if you even make so much as a move to kill someone, I will tell all of them what you really are."

"Fine." She recoiled at his stern and threatening tone. That was usually reserved for when she gave him death threats or when she bad talked his soap. "I was only joking."

"No you weren't."

"Fine. Half joking. I don't get why you care so much."

"Really?"

"I don't know why you'd want me the way I was before." She paced voicing the thought that had been bothering her yet again. They had already talked about it but it needed to be brought up again. He was a vamp, she was a vamp, they could take on the world together. Well, she could and he could watch but at least that was something. That chip really was a bitch. No matter what though, she wasn't going back to being human. He would accept that at some point but she knew enough not to bring that up again. "It doesn't make sense."

Spike smiled a sad smile, his thoughts popping back to a time before her vampireness was an issue. It didn't make a lick of sense really. All she ever did was beat up on him, especially when he tried to win her over. At his best she was his worst. Then again she always did have a weird sense in men. Peaches, one-night-stand guy, Captain Cardboard… She really wasn't a good judge of character.

So why didn't she ever go for him? She seemed much more open to him now. So why wasn't he making his move?! His demon sure was begging for it and yet he knew he couldn't. The human Buffy was still around somewhere and he fought too hard for her before to give her up so easily now. "It didn't make sense to me either love."

Buffy smiled at the shy look he had and smiled wider when she realized the only real, non-fake smiles she wore, were when she was with Spike. He really was the only one that wasn't driving her crazy and she had to smile because she had this moment with him, alone, like the night before. Patrolling was great when it was just the two of them. They would have to do that again.

She suddenly felt shy herself and didn't really understand why but it led her to awkwardly sitting down on the couch and fumbling with her hair to make sure it was all still stuck in her ponytail. "I suggested we burn down the house for insurance money today."

"And how'd the lot take that?" Spike slumped into the spot next to her and crossing his ankle over his leg, leaning into the corner, fumbling to get a cigarette lit.

"You should have seen their faces." She started to laugh, a real genuine laugh, and Spike be damned-er if it wasn't the best thing he'd heard in over 150 days. He joined her in her laughter, maneuvering his cigarette between his fingers. "Hey can I try one of those?"

"You wanna smoke?"

"Never done it and there has to be a reason so many people do. Besides, it's not like I need my lungs any more."

Spike knew he should have said no right off the bat but he couldn't help conjuring the image of Buffy with a stick between her teeth, smoke curling around her lips, maybe lying on her back, maybe under the covers of his new bed showing off the bare skin she donned underneath. Smoking was always a bit sexy if the right person was doing it. "When we're alone pet." He nodded to the door again and she nodded, deciding to tell him why they were all out there.

"Some demon robbed a bank today."

"Yeah?"

"I guess I'm supposed to go after it or something."

"That would be the Buffy thing."

"They're doing research on it now."

"So shouldn't we be helping them?"

"God." She slumped down further in her seat and groaned at the ceiling. "Why?"

"Because you don't want them to know what you are and because I'm bored. Fighting a demon sounds like just the thing." He started to get up off the couch and an idea lit up in Buffy's mind making her smile a snarky smile, worthy of Spike's even.

"So, fight me."

"I'm not fighting you Buffy." Spike chuckled back, holding out his hand to help her off the couch that she refused to take.

"Come on." She pouted like a toddler, throwing her feet on the ground a bit and whining. "I need a fight."

"We're patrolling in a couple hours. Hold yourself till then."

The pout turned full smile when he brought up the patrolling. They hadn't talked about it but she was all for it and kind of flattered that he just assumed they would go together without her even asking. "Just one fight?"

"No. A Scooby will come down and see me fighting you…that's the last thing I need. One punch, no headache, they'll put two and two together."

"Ugh. Fine." She finally took his hand and used it to pull herself off the couch, impressed by how his skin felt beneath hers. She had noticed before, how he was almost-warm-but-not-really as they matched temperature, but by making her hand linger, she really noticed it. It was so much better than the boiling heat the humans gave off. "We'll go do research like good little humans."

"Fighting the good fight." He swung her around by their joined hands and pushed her towards the door. "It's what we're about."

"For now."


	5. It's A Miracle

**AN: **Please bare with a tiny bit more canon and know things will pick up soon and things will be explained. Spike's actions included (I would be asking the same thing if I were you). It'll all make sense in the next few chapters but always ask or double check to make sure I'm putting it in. You guys keep me on my toes!

Read and enjoy :)

* * *

Dawn was trying to decide how to pronounce the demons name and had just settled on, "M'Fashnik.", when she turned and found Buffy and Spike had entered the room.

"M'what now?" Buffy decided to ask.

"That's the name of the demon." Dawn explained, flipping the book back to the middle of the table.

"Ah I know them." Spike walked over and double checked his knowledge with the picture drawn inside. "Mercenary demons. Sell their services to the highest bidder."

"Why is he here?"

"So we're looking for someone with money?" Willow asked Spike, every one of them ignoring Xander's usual rude tone. He sputtered and muttered to himself but no one really understood what he said, or cared.

"Yeah or at least a way of giving the demon the money. Doesn't mean they have to have it."

"You think the robbery was-" Tara started to ask if the robbery was involved in paying the demon off but trailed off when everyone else in the room turned to look behind her, their faces all in shock. She too turned to see what they were all looking at.

"Oh bloody hell." Spike complained, fishing in his pocket for another cigarette. He was really hoping to avoid this.

"Oh no." Buffy whispered to herself but she heard the small chuckle from the vamp behind her.

This was too early. She wasn't ready.

"Oh god." Giles stood inside the door, a bag of luggage dropped to his feet as he walked forward, not believing his eyes. "Buffy?" She tried to fake a grin but Spike pushed her from behind making her walk forward and her smile fell remarkably when Giles was within reach and he wrapped her up in a hug. "You're alive." No shit she was alive. Well, not alive. She needed to work on those thoughts. "You're here." So was he, squeezing her tight and she had to just stand there and take it because if she pushed him up against the wall and started drinking him it would be _'wrong'_. It was tempting though. He smelled of tea and airplane but it didn't mask the overwhelming smell of human blood. The sound of his heart thumping was right inside her ear as he was taller than the other humans, his neck directly where her eardrum was. "And you're still remarkably strong."

"Oh." She must have been squeezing a bit tight, trying to control her blood lust. "Sorry." She wasn't all that sorry.

"Willow told me but I really didn't let myself believe it." Giles let her take a step back even if a part of him never wanted to let her go again. It had been far too long.

"Yeah well." She shrugged. "I'm here." And she really wished she wasn't. She should have ran out with Spike without checking in on anyone. Why did she listen to him?

"It's a miracle. You're-"

"Depends on your definition." She chuckled, looking back, met with smiles from everyone except Spike who was both trying to avoid the group and give her a stern warning with his eyes. She wasn't supposed to say how she actually felt.

"I suppose so." Giles nodded, not seeing anything wrong with her comment. "Though you always were a miracle to me."

Well that was a plain awkward thing to say. She didn't know how to respond to that. She just wanted him gone. He wasn't even supposed to be there. "I thought you were coming tomorrow."

"Earlier flight." He chuckled, getting his first glance at the rest of the people in the room. "Time differences and all."

"Right."

"Well." He walked forward towards the smiling bunch he had said goodbye to only days before, for what he thought would be a much longer period of time. He would never have told them forever but after losing Buffy, he never imagined returning. "Hello everyone. Dawn, Tara, Xander, Anya, Willow…" He turned to the vamp in the corner and greeted him with slightly less eagerness than everyone else. "Spike."

"Gramps." Spike greeted back with the same energy, dragging on that cigarette he fished out. Buffy gave him a suppressed smile from behind Giles' back but wiped her face clear when he turned back to face her. She managed to shoot Spike a quick glare which she hoped he would understand was a warning to stop making her want to laugh.

"Buffy…" Giles seemed a bit lost at what he wanted to say so she just waited, trying to hide her impatience. "If you want we can…in the weight room…if-if we can…"

"Sure." She cut him off in what she hoped didn't sound like a snap. He wanted to talk, she knew that. She also knew it would be hell, especially if he started stuttering like Tara. They could talk but only for so long before she snapped and there wasn't any guarantee she wouldn't e-e-e-e-e-eat h-hi-him.

"Well I'm gone." Spike announced, heading towards the front door, turning back only to yell back at Buffy. "Slayer I'll meet you-"

"Oh no." Willow ran forward fast, blocking his way towards the door. "Tell us more about this demon." She pointed towards the book and then pointed towards Giles and Buffy. "You two, go talk." If Buffy wouldn't talk to her about how she felt, she was sure she would talk to Giles. He was always better at getting her to say how she actually felt about things when it came to her own well being.

Giles led the way back into the back room as Buffy and Spike gave each other sympathetic looks. _Humans_.

Giles sat down on the couch and took a moment to breathe and look about the room and at the miracle standing in front of him. Of course he actually knew better. He knew why she was really back and using dark magic like that, it couldn't actually be considered a miracle. But that was not a conversation for Buffy at the moment, that was one for another time. He needed all the details first, details he would be getting from a certain adolescent, thinks she knows better, witch.

For now he had Buffy, standing there, alive as ever, walking and talking. He had accepted she was gone forever but now...

She wasn't quite herself, he could tell that. There was something…off about her. But that would be expected after a return from the dead. He just needed to learn what she actually went through. How was he meant to start a conversation like that?

"So-" He started, not really knowing where that sentence was going to end up.

Buffy noticed Giles' scrutiny over her entire body. She couldn't miss it, not in the dim room and not with her vamp eyes. It made her panic a bit. She wasn't ready to be left alone with him. Spike helped her understand some things the night before, answered her questions, helped her reign in all those unnecessary noises and sounds and lights and get control over her senses but she was still a vamp in training. What if she did something wrong? What if he realized her burn mark was not a scratch? She needed to get the subject off of her, even before it was ever on her. This was going to be one hell of a conversation.

"How was England or life or whatever?" She asked while she found her thrown away shirt and tossed it over her, covering the mark. That was at least one problem down.

"Well…not really sure what to say." He watched her move around the room deciding she didn't look like she had any injuries, though he did notice the red mark on her chest. It wasn't his place to pry though. "It wasn't that great but...um…I met with some friends, a few members of the council."

"Fun." She nodded awkwardly, slumping down into the opposite corner of the couch and wrapping her legs in front of her. Maybe if there was another barrier between him and her, he wouldn't notice the lack of pink in her features.

"Yes well nothing really to report."

Nothing to report? Then why was he still talking? Her foot started to tap as she watched him breathe in and back out again. The thumping was there again. Spike told her it was like white noise. If she paid attention to it, it would just get louder. Well what else was she supposed to listen to when he was just rambling?

Then he started to take his glasses off, cleaning them like he was so in the habit of doing. She could hear the squeaking of the glass and the creak of the old hinges but they weren't loud enough.

_Thump-thump._

"Well I guess-"

"And now you're back." She cut him off again, still aiming to make the conversation short, trying to focus on something else, anything else but that sound.

"Yes." He nodded, putting his glasses back on. Buffy was definitely on edge. His aim was not to interrogate her. He hoped he didn't come off that way. "It appears so."

"Well you know you don't have to stay. You can go back home." Was this pushing it too hard? She really didn't want him around, how else did you tell someone to get the hell away? There was some kind of fish metaphor right? She supposed it would be alright if she put a cheery spin on it, fake smile all the way. With teeth this time. "You saw me, I'm alive. You can leave."

"Well if you really want me to. I mean-"

"No." She gritted her teeth in the lie, keeping the smile. Of course she didn't want him to go, because she was human, or some other bullshit. "Not that I want you to. We wouldn't want you thinking that." She muttered to herself.

"No. I know." Giles nodded, turning to her on the couch, keeping his distance. "It's just leaving Sunnydale was difficult and returning was something unexpected."

"Inconvenient."

_THUMP! _

"No." He started to defend himself, not wanting her to think that at all. She was definitely troubled, her behavior and body language said it all. It just made him want to prove to her more that he would be there for her. Though, honestly, inconvenient was one of the things it was. He would just never actually say that.

"That wasn't really a question." She said back, not even pretending to care. She knew it was inconvenient and she knew he was lying. She could hear his heart jump when he did.

All she was thinking about was getting past the bull shit so she could leave the room and the _thump-thumping_ already. In that pause she could feel the demon start to crawl inside and the ache in her throat made her mouth start to dry out. More thumping and her thoughts were already starting to lean towards grabbing the glasses off his face, tossing them to the other side of the room, and attacking him from behind when he got up to get them. She twitched more in her seat, already feeling her muscles contract, ready to move into action. She needed to get out of there. If she left to go patrolling with Spike there would be no distracting noises or smells or humans. She needed to leave. She needed Spike. Did vampires have telepathy? She was really hoping that was the case because she was screaming in her head; _'Get me the fuck out of here! Dead watcher moments away!'_.

"It was bewildering really." Giles continued to defend himself, unaware of her thoughts, leaving her to sigh to herself. "You're never an inconvenience."

"I'm sure that's not completely true."

"Buffy." He couldn't ignore it anymore. Her attitude was definitely off. He would just outright ask her. It had worked in the past. Not always well but it worked. "How are you?"

"I'm fine." Shit. That came off too vampy didn't it? What would her human self do? "Completely fine." Just keep smiling. "Normal."

"Really? You don't seem like yourself."

"Well being raised from the dead can have that effect. But really, I'm fine." How many times did she have to keep saying it?

"You look tired." He did not like that defensive attitude or the fact that she kept squirming, refusing to look at him, but he didn't really expect to get far. She would tell him what was wrong eventually.

"I sleep fine." That wasn't actually true. People kept waking her up about pancakes and leaky basements and almost killing her again by opening the blinds.

"You were dead Buffy." He frowned at the fact that that was what got her to look at him finally. She was just glaring but at least she looked at him. "It's alright to have nightmares. It's expected even."

"Well yeah there are those." Though they weren't what everyone else was expecting. "And the whole nocturnal thing. And waking up but that's just cus the last time I woke up I was trapped under six feet of dirt." She laughed but Giles didn't seem to see the humor. She had mostly gotten over it, having been woken up by people more often than by her own nightmares of darkness, but maybe she shouldn't have told him that. Damn Giles and his distracting blood. Well, at least it was touchy. Human her would be touchy. "But I'm seriously fine."

"Well you seem to be doing remarkably well."

"Yup. I am."

There was a long pause where they both stared, her at the thumping in his neck and he at her closed off posture. Each second that passed made her demon kick harder as the smell of his blood started to reach her nose sending her back to the violent imaginative thoughts. Killing him wouldn't be the worst idea. She could just say he went out for something like dinner and that he would call. That way he could just disappear and she wouldn't have to worry about him finding out what she was and ruining everything. Alone in the back room, no one would know it was her.

When he reached out to touch her, that was all she could take. One more moment and she would be doing something she would momentarily love, but later regret. "Well I better start warming up." She jumped up and started jogging in place, hoping that she wasn't trying too hard to be human."I'm patrolling tonight."

"So soon?" He looked towards the door the other kids were sitting behind, starting to wonder just how much they let things slip in his absence. Buffy shouldn't have been patrolling. They didn't even know what the cost of the spell was yet. Unless they did and it was so grave they decided not to tell him.

"I told you. I'm fine. Besides Spike goes with me. As back up."

The idea of Spike going with her was, too say the least, unsettling. "No one else?"

"They have lives Giles." She turned and started to jog for the door, willing herself not to run from the room and be obvious about needing to leave. "I don't."

Arguing could be heard from the next room as Spike and Xander quipped back and forth about nothing in particular. It sounded like Xander was warning him off patrolling with her alone and Spike was telling him to shove it. Nothing unexpected.

Anya was first to see the two exit the room and ran over to say hello. "Giles! You can't have the store back."

"I know." He smiled at her, automatically forgiving her greedy attitude.

"You signed papers and everything."

"I know."

"Hey Giles!" Xander greeted, pulling Anya away from him and giving her a scolding glance.

"So what do we have?" Giles asked, looking at the books laid out on the table. Research always meant something lurking within the town and he could use the distraction, his thoughts dancing around Buffy's worrisome demeanor.

"M'Fashnik demon." Dawn answered, obviously proud of her discovery.

"Ah."

"You've heard of it?" Tara asked, noticing the frown Giles had.

"By reputation yes."

"Well we know someone had to buy it out but where would someone get that kind of cash?" Dawn continued, bringing the book over to her again even if she knew there was nothing useful left on the page. "Demons can't be cheap."

"They're not." Spike answered for Giles, knowing full well how not-cheap they were. His running price would easily be in the quarter of a mill range. That would just be for robbing something, killing would have been a million easy.

"The real question is who would be powerful enough to control one." Giles said, walking back over to Dawn and looking over her shoulder.

Buffy, meanwhile, had enough of the gabbing group and started to walk back to the front door, calling towards Spike, "Come on Spike, let's go-", not caring to explain her leaving to anyone else. All the blood in the room was making her judgement cloudy and she had enough of the groupy-feely moments for the night.

"Um Buffy?" Giles called her back, making her spin on her heels in a huff. "I was wondering if it would be alright with you and Dawn if I spent the night at your house. Seeing as how I no longer have mine."

"Sure knock yourself out." Dawn answered for her quickly, making her glare in her direction. He asked her, not the kid sister. The last thing she needed was for the watcher to be around 24/7.

"Basement is flooded so you'll have to sleep on the couch." Buffy said, leading up to her idea of staying in a motel. He was old, couches were bad for backs or something. "You may want-"

"That will be fine, thank you." Giles ignored her and smiled at Dawn instead already making her regret her decision not to kill him when she had the chance in the back room.

"Okay." Buffy turned back around and nodded at Spike again who was obediently waiting for her to lead the way. "We're leaving."

"Wait, Buffy!" Willow called her back making her have to turn around yet again just as she reached the door. There Willow was running towards her, pouting fully, looking as lost as a puppy. God she just wanted to smack that look off her face. Get a backbone woman! "Don't you want a picture of the demon? Or know how to kill it?"

"I'm patrolling." She lowered her voice, talking to Willow like the toddler she resembled. "If I see a demon, I'll kill it. Plus I have Spike here. You know how to kill it Spike?"

"Yup."

"See? Good to go. Don't wait up!" She shouted and ran straight from the room not bothering to hang around for any more stupid questions. Spike followed giving a momentary shrug to the group and a quick wink and half smile in Dawn's direction. She waved back quick with a fake smile of her own, still very much so worried about her sister's actions.

Giles stared at the empty doorway trying to absorb the change from the closed off girl on the couch talking about how 'fine' she was to the one jumping to run away with the vampire. "Is she always-?"

"She has been since she came back." Xander answered for everyone else before Giles could find the word to describe her blatant disregard for every one of her friends.

"She's only been back a few days though." Willow defended, yet again, always feeling the need. It only got worse for her since Spike yelled at her. "Got to give her some more time. I'm sure she'll be back to her chipper self in no time."

"Yes." Giles took off his glasses, looking towards the empty door, cleaning them yet again. "Sure."

* * *

"God that was painful." Buffy complained as soon as they stepped out of the shop and started to make their way for the outskirts of town and towards the cemeteries. She really could use a good fight.

"Tried to have a heart to heart did he?"

"Was anything else expected? All I kept thinking was, _yes yes move on please_." The both chuckled for a moment, falling into step with each other, each shoving their hands into their own pockets and breathing in the night air. Finally she could clear her head. "It's horrible. Trying to be what they want me to be. I can tell they're still worried. Why do they all have to care?"

"I'd offer to take a few of them out for you, lessen the pressure, but I feel like you just might agree at this point."

"So don't tempt me then." She threw him a sinful smirk that he should have frowned at but just couldn't help the smirk that grew on his own face in return.

"Well where do you want to start today love?" He gestured towards the direction of the main cemetery calculating where would be best to work on ascertaining her skills this night. They had done some good work when battling the vamp from the night before and she was really starting to settle into the extra sensitivity but he could tell her thoughts were still centered on being murderous. It wasn't a bad thing for a vamp necessarily but it could easily get one killed if they weren't focused.

The old man was someone he wanted to kill plenty of times, especially when he was tied up living with him. He would be slower than the younger ones and, sure he'd have a few tricks up his sleeve, but Buffy was trained by him. She'd know them all. Being trapped in a conversation with him, faking smiles, all alone, she wasn't quite ready for that. She must have been having similar murder thoughts, probably almost acting out on them, that just carried over when the rest of the bunch were gathered round. The tapping of her foot was a real give away when she was waiting for everyone to stop talking so they could go patrolling. It only stopped when she gave up and took charge, leaving them all before they could stop her.

He knew he should have been more concerned about leaving her alone with him. There was always the chance that she would break her promise, not even entirely out of her own will, and eat a human. He would get her out of any trouble she got into and help her escape any attacks on her and they could run off together. Of course, he doubted that would actually happen. Buffy never really did want him and a new set of teeth wasn't going to change that. Sure, her attitude improved but that was just because he was helping her. If she really got a feel for the intoxicating life of a vampire, she wouldn't bother sticking around with him, the defanged excuse for the undead. She would never go back to being human either. At least not for a long while. Every vamp had their day though. He would just have to hold onto these nights they had together, while they still had them, and work on bringing the human her back.

Why she was listening to him and not killing anyone was still a mystery to him. If he was a newly bitten vamp he would be tearing up the town. Of course, he could tell himself it was the slayer blood keeping her in check but he knew there was more to it. It took control and while she was one hell of a powerful woman, she didn't have to listen to him and she could get away with it. There were the consequences, her friends being the main one, but she could still get around it all. Then there was the way she kept talking, making off hand comments, not wanting to tell them yet, always _not yet_...she was up to something. He knew it but a part of him needed to ignore that and hope that he found a cure for her before she did something stupid. She needed to be human again, or at least needed to try. She would understand why when the time was right.

Still. While he worked on fixing her, it didn't hurt to daydream. Him, back up to his full Big Bad self, running away with the strongest woman he's ever known made slayer-vampire. One of a kind in every way possible.

"I don't care." Her voice ripped him out of his train of thought. "Anywhere where I can get some punches in. That punching bag does not do me justice." She chuckled at the memory of Willow's face when the bag almost hit the ceiling. God she wanted to do that again. She could feel it within herself, all that power. It was being shamefully wasted.

"Whatever you say pet."

"Oh and I need money don't I?"

"I think I know about a vamps nest. They usually keep some change lying around." It wasn't quite in the original plan. He was really just going to scare up some money from a demon he played poker with who owed him big and knew how to get the money but actually having some action would be a nice change. Vampire nests usually had a good bit of money lying around. It wouldn't be enough for all the bills, he was sure, but it would get Buffy what she wanted; a fight and money. It wasn't exactly promoting her sense of goody-goody either but it wasn't like she was killing humans for money, just vamps. Plus, while he wanted her to be human, he didn't necessarily want every single little quality about her to stay the same. A little bad could go a long way. "Want to check it out?"

She gave him a wide smile and started to jog ahead of him, turning around to yell at him to catch up. "Let's go!"

He shook his head and ran to follow, ignoring all the confusing thoughts buzzing around in his head so he could enjoy what little time he had with the Buffy that actually pretended to want him around. Even if she was just using him, it was good enough for him.

* * *

When Buffy and Spike left, the group realized they had nothing left to do but go home. Everyone met at the Summers home and grabbed some soda and tea, for Giles, to catch up from the past few days. There wasn't too much to report except for Buffy so that's mostly what they talked about. Giles was filled in on her distant attitude and strange outbursts and jokes about burning down houses while Willow continued to defend her.

Eventually the night was getting late and Xander and Anya left for home leaving everyone else to get some sleep. Dawn went to set up the couch bed for Giles while Tara went to take a shower and crawl into her own as Willow went to grab a nighttime snack. Giles considered reading until Dawn and Tara went to sleep but didn't think Willow would stay up much later so he decided to confront her while he still had the chance, following her into the kitchen.

"Hey Giles." Willow smiled at him as she grabbed a box of cereal and sat down at the table. "You have a good talk with Buffy?" He hadn't brought it up in their recap and she really wanted to know how she was doing.

"Yes, no she's fine." Giles nodded trying to word in his head what he wanted to say. What he really wanted to do was scream but that would accomplish nothing.

"Isn't it awesome?" Willow asked excitedly, feeling relieved that they had passed all of the bad stuff about Buffy and someone new would actually help her focus in on the good.

"Hmm." Giles turned from the naïve behavior and tried to calm himself, needing to know what he was dealing with. "Tell me about the spell you preformed."

"Oh okay." Willow started, finally able to tell someone the entire truth who would be proud of her instead of worried. "First of all so scary. Like-uh- the Blair witch would have had to watch like this." She covered her eyes as she did when she watched the _Blair Witch Project _herself. "A- an- and this giant snake came out of my mouth and there was all this energy crackling and this pack of demons interrupted but I totally kept it together and then next thing you know, Buffy."

He couldn't contain the anger within him any longer. She sounded so proud of what she did. She didn't even understand the consequences. "You're a very stupid girl."

"What?" She stopped reaching for bits of cereal from the box, completely caught off guard by his tone. "Giles?"

"Do you have any idea what you've done? The forces you've harnessed, the lines you've crossed."

"I-I thought you'd be impressed or something."

"Don't worry you've… made a very deep impression." He shook his head and leaned up against the counter, hoping beyond hope he could actually reach this girl. "Of everyone here….you were the one I trusted most to respect the forces of nature."

"Are you saying you don't trust me?"

"Think what you've done to Buffy."

"I brought her back."

"At incredible risk!"

"Risk? Of what? Making her deader?"

"Killing us all. Unleashing Hell on earth. Shall I go on?"

"No. Giles I did what I had to do. I did what nobody else could do."

"Oh there are others in this world that can do what you did. You just don't want to meet them."

"No probably not but well-they're the bad guys. I'm not a bad guy. I brought Buffy back into this world. A-And maybe the word you should be looking for is congratulations."

He shook his head again both at her and himself. Leaving a teenage girl in charge? What was he thinking? "Having Buffy back in this world makes me feel indescribably wonderful. But I wouldn't congratulate you if you jumped off a cliff and happened to survive."

"That's not what I did Giles."

"You were lucky."

"I wasn't lucky. I was amazing." She was pretty sick of everyone giving her the same attitude. She knew what she was doing, why did they all act like she was lost? She did what she did on purpose! Buffy was fine! "And how would you know? You weren't even there."

"If I had been I'd've bloody well stopped you." He tried to stop himself from yelling, knowing the other girls could probably hear him, but he couldn't stop the words escaping from his mouth. "The magics you channeled are more ferocious and primal than anything you could hope to understand and you are lucky to be alive. You rank, arrogant, amateur."

"You're right." She leapt from the bar stool and walked over in front of him feeling the energy within her crackle as her emotions ran hotter. "The magics I used are very powerful. I'm very powerful. And maybe it's not such a good idea to piss me off." After a moment of tense staring Willow had to shake her head and calm herself down. Giles just didn't understand yet. He'd only just seen Buffy. He was worried over nothing. In time he would see how normal she was. "Come on Giles, I don't want to fight. Let's not okay? I'll think about what you said and you try to be happy Buffy's back."

"We still don't know where she was. Or what happened to her. And I'm far from convinced she's come out of all this undamaged. "

They went their separate ways, each feeling the after effects of the fight, hearts pounding and magic tingling. Giles should have learned to trust that gut instinct he had. The one that said Buffy was far from undamaged or that something terrible had happened to her. He would latter come to regret letting the young witch's words cloud his judgment.


	6. Get This Party Started

Finding the vampire nest was pretty easy….after a bit that was. Spike wanted Buffy to find it on her own using only her sense of smell and it took a few tries including one stray dog and two different types of demons, neither of which were the ones that robbed the bank. She wanted to fight them but Spike made her stop straying and get back to the path where their real goal awaited.

There it was. An abandoned home with the for sale sign kicked to the ground. It didn't look that special but lights were coming from the basement along with the sounds of a full blown party. Spike was first to check the place out, if only to make sure they didn't have any dead humans to tempt Buffy with. There were about seven vamps down there, drinking and smoking, one a bit too sloshed to do much else but slump down into the couch while his girlfriend made out with his neck.

One nod from Spike and Buffy went running over, allowing her vampire features to shine through as he did the same with his. It was actually the first time she had seen his demon out in the open since she returned. He had kept his human face on even through all the fighting he coached her through. It looked different than before. It was the same scrunched up, fangy, golden-eyed face but there was something added to it. She wasn't thinking of it like that grotesque Neanderthal expression she had become accustomed to. The moonlight sparkled off his sharpened teeth and there was an extra glint in his eyes all completing the powerful expression he wore. Even with a scrunched face he was still chiseled and sexy. She would never tell him that though. Never. Though she did start to wonder what she looked like to him.

"I count seven." Spike gestured into the basement window and turned to the vamp beside him. "You up for it?"

"I call little miss necking."

"Necking?"

"It means making out. My mom- oh never mind. Let's just go kill these suckers."

"Lead the way slayer." Spike gestured towards the front door and smiled at Buffy's backside, sneaking a peak of her leather pants clad ass. She really needed to wear those more often.

Buffy entered the house with a new sense of anticipation. In the back of her mind she knew her throat was starting to ache from not drinking blood in a while and a headache would follow but she didn't care. Somewhere deep within her a fire was starting to burn and it just kept growing with every step towards the basement door as she closed in towards the noises and smells of alcohol.

That burn was feeding her, her senses zooming in on her prey and her muscles tensing, ready to strike at a moment's notice. She always had a sense of power as the slayer but it was boosted beyond belief with her undead abilities. She felt Spike behind her and the air around them seemed to crackle with their growing need to hunt their pray.

For the first time since her rise from the grave she forgot all about her revenge plans or Spike's misguided ideas or her charade or what everyone else was thinking. All she could feel was Spike and her, nearing their kill, clicking into their places in the world. She felt fitted into the puzzle that was her life as she moved around the final hall and pulled the door open. This was what she was meant to do. This was who she was meant to be. This was her purpose.

Everyone stopped partying as soon as they saw both Buffy and Spike at the bottom of their steps. They all turned, except for the drunk on the chair, and stared, waiting for their leader to tell them what to do.

"What are you doing here?" A well-built, good looking male vampire asked from across the room, walking closer with an air of dominance.

Leader, leader, I pick you to come over.

"What? Not enough to share?" Buffy asked with a fake smile, already enjoying herself, as Spike walked around and pulled a random rum bottle from a table and took a swig.

"Don't touch that!" The leader vamp yelled, but Spike only chuckled, tossing the bottle over to Buffy who caught it with ease and took a gulp herself relishing in the burn it caused her throat. It was so much more satisfying than the one she got from blood lust and this one even gave her a bit of a thrill.

"Oh no Spike. I don't think they want to play." Buffy fake pouted as she took another swig and laughed into the bottle at how pissed off the other vamp was getting before she tossed the rum back over to her partner in crime.

"Look, I don't know who you are but you need to leave."

"But we just got here!" Buffy laughed as she slumped herself down onto a couch in the middle of the room right in between two other members of the nest.

"You!" The more than lost leader vamp turned to Spike with a shout and pointed at Buffy on his couch. "Control your woman and then get both of your asses out of here!"

Buffy snapped her neck as she sent this pompous misogynistic asshole the meanest glare she could muster up. Spike's eyes grew two sizes bigger as he held up his hands in mock surrender hoping Buffy wouldn't eat him for that comment. "Whoa. You've done it now mate."

"Spike-" Buffy called him back, "-on second thought, I want him." She lifted herself off the couch, pointing towards the asshole who was now starting to get the idea that he did indeed make a grave mistake and that he needed to back off. Everyone else in the room was either too drunk to understand or cowering in the corner. God did she love that.

"Have both if you want slayer." Spike answered her, falling into place by her side, glancing around to make sure all other vamps knew to stay where they were.

"Slayer?" The idiotic leader looked back at Buffy completely confused. "But you're-"

"A vampire? I know. Long story. Short version? I don't like you."

With vampiric-slayer speed she ascended on him until he was forcibly backed up against the staircase, making the panic in his voice start to climb. "Wait-wait-wait-wait-wait-" He held out his hands, trying to get her to stop, looking at Spike to confirm what he was hearing. "A slayer who's a vampire? I didn't- I- I'm sorry, I didn't know!" Groveling like the mongrel he was. "We'll leave town, we'll- we'll-. . . You can- you can lead us. Take my place! You can take over the pack, use us to kill other demons or people or whatever. Just please, don't kill us!"

Was that what this was? A pack? What did that make her? A lone wolf? Lone wolves didn't have companions like Spike. Maybe she wasn't a lone wolf. Maybe she was a lost wolf in need of a pack. Maybe she was the alpha in need of followers to listen to her every command. Maybe that's why the hunt with Spike felt so right and that was why she could feel his every move along with hers.

"Nah. I think I'll kill you." She chuckled and dipped into her back pocket where, quick as a flash, she ripped out her stake (Mr. Pointy 2.0) and stabbed it directly into the vamps chest making him burst into ash within seconds, not even long enough for a scream, though someone did scream.

It was one of his 'pack' members, a man in the corner, who yelped and when Buffy went to turn to him he started stuttering himself, begging for his unlife. "N-n-no. Please. You're one of us!"

"And yet….I just don't care." One punch had him sprawled against the wall and Mr. Pointy 2.0 did the rest. "Alright, what do you say we get this party really started?" She turned to the room and as soon as she did everyone was running for the door. It seemed they were all lost without someone to tell them what to do. It made her smile.

Spike jumped into action instantly, blocking off the only exit and punching those who tried to get past him back down the stairs. Buffy grabbed the girl who had been necking and started tossing her around the room. She put up a strong fight, thinking Buffy was going to kill her passed out boy toy, and fought right back, throwing in a good couple of punches herself. Spike took on the other three that were up by the door and had ripped out a piece of the wooden stairs to dispatch each of them one by one.

After the third punch the girl got in, Buffy was quite finished with her. She flipped the bitch over the couch in the middle of the room and jumped above her, standing over her body and landing a few punches to the side of her skull. The girl beneath her managed to wiggle her legs free and kick Buffy back against the wall, trying to run after her. Buffy was quick though and pushed the girl back all while fishing for the wooden stake that dropped to the ground. The girl vamp knew what was coming and jumped for the stake herself making Buffy round her leg back and slam it as hard as she could into the girl vamp's stomach. In an all-powerful kick the girl flew through the air and straight into the concrete ceiling above. On the way down Buffy grabbed her stake and held it between her and the flying vamp's landing zone, making it drive through her body on impact, and turn her to dust before she even hit the floor.

Knowing boy toy vamp was passed out in the chair she ran towards Spike and ripped off one of the two left fighting. He had killed one sometime during her scuffle with little miss necking. Well, formally known.

"Oh come on! You already got to kill three!" Spike yelled as he tackled the male down the stairs and landed on his body with a bone breaking crack rounding his fist into the vampire's face before being slammed off his body.

"Well then catch up!" Buffy yelled back deciding to give the killing a break in favor of throwing a few punches instead. She couldn't help but notice a few moves were added to her already stocked knowledge as a slayer. It was really, really true. Vamps did come out of the ground with some kicking mojo already embedded.

Spike tumbled around on the floor, loving the thrill of fighting with a vampire by his side and also on his side. The demon world frowned pretty outwardly at him for fighting his own kind and now he finally had someone to do it with. With a smile he kicked the male vamp off his body and directly into Buffy's path.

They fought some more, tossing vamp with vamp at times for the fun of it, and broke everything in their path along the way. Spike got his final kill in by kicking in a wooden table and slamming the leg into the oncoming vamp's chest while Buffy spun her opponent into the same shot, resulting in the same death.

Both vampire-vampire-killers looked at each other and started chuckling at the adrenaline that was still coursing through their systems leaving them with the high of the fight. It was only after a second look that they saw the other vamp, miraculously untouched, was still slumped in the chair.

"Seems kind of pitiful to just stab him." Spike said, gesturing towards the vamp while rummaging around for cash.

Buffy nodded and looked with him, finding wads of miscellaneous bills tossed into the dryer as a hiding spot. They both laughed some more as they tucked the bills into whatever pockets they had, Buffy shoving a bunch into her bra as girl pants were not that favorable when it came to pocket room.

"So what do you want to do with him?" Spike nodded in the chairs direction before finishing off the cash and starting to head for the door.

"I got an idea." Buffy smiled and reached into Spike's front pocket, pushing paper bills out of her way.

"Whoa pet. I think I like this idea." She rolled her eyes at him and finally found what she was looking for. She pulled out the small silver lighter and picked up a vodka bottle, dumping it all along the floor and the vamp in the chair letting the fumes burn their noses. She smashed the empty bottle on the ground before ripping a piece of the couch's fabric off and grabbing a random bottle.

"Hey-hey now. Not the rum." Spike grabbed the bottle from her hands and she rolled her eyes again, picking up another. She dunked it in the alcohol and started to run for the stairs, Spike following. With a mischievous grin shared between the two she lit the end of the fabric and threw it down the stairs, running with Spike for the front door. They both heard the flames start up and the heat soon follow as they ran into the cool night and watched as the last of their problems disappear.

When safety out of range they tossed themselves onto the grass and onto their back both chuckling up at the sky and staring at the flames and smoke licking the sky, the sirens following soon after. Buffy couldn't believe how much fun that was. She wanted to find a vampire nest every night if it meant she got to feel that high again. Fuck everyone else, she'd run away from home if she had to. Screw her plans if it meant she got to live her life like that. But that was just it. Her plans were made so she would live her life like that. Running away wouldn't get the humans off her back.

Spike chucked with Buffy, choosing to ignore what part of him was worried that she just lit a sleeping vamp on fire with no warning or regret. Nothing felt as right to him as fighting did and getting to do it with Buffy again just…nothing could compare. He turned to her, her face sinking back into human form and his following, "That was-"

"Yeah," she laughed back. "We should do that again some time."

"It's a date." She looked back over at him but instead of a slap, like expected, he was greeted by a small smile. He was about to say something else that could really earn him a slap when Buffy reached up to push away the hair that clung to her face. "Buffy-"

"What?"

"Your hand."

"What about it?"

"There's blood."

"Oh." She looked down and saw what he saw. She wasn't hurt but her knuckles were covered in the red liquid and the smell started to call her. This wasn't some gross blood of a cold pig. This was human blood drank by vampire, but still human. Her eyes didn't move from her knuckles as the burn started to grow and her demon started to take over. It just smelled so...good.

"Buffy!" Spike grabbed her wrist before she could finish bringing her hand up to her lips. She glared at him, a spark of yellow flashing through her eyes, but he shook he head and held her down tighter. "No."

"It's not even a real human Spike."

"It doesn't matter. You won't be able to control yourself."

"So what?"

"So what? So you'll destroy half the town to get another taste."

"And I said so what."

"And I said no!" Spike jumped forward and pulled her hand at the same time making her fist collide with his shirt, rubbing the blood over his chest. She fought back hard but he had her tackled beneath him and there was little to nothing she could do without every drop of blood being wiped on him.

"Get off me!" She kicked him hard and he fell to the side, stuck under her body in return. She turned to her hands but nothing was left. It was all on his shirt. She reached down with her mouth and picked up the loose fabric between her lips, closing her tongue around the cotton, just as he pushed her back onto the ground, rolling her to her back.

"You don't want to do this Buffy!" Spike pleaded, trying to overpower the much more powerful vamp beneath him. There would be no stopping her if she succeeded.

"Yes I do!" She tried pushing him back again but both had to stop at the distinctive and obnoxious sound of a ringtone.

They both looked at the phone in the grass and back at each other, sizing up who would give in first. Buffy couldn't see the phone from her position so she thought she would try to distract Spike with a relevant question. "Who is it?"

"It's Dawn." Spike said, not letting up on Buffy's arms or legs, really trying to ignore any sexual thoughts popping up into his mind. He couldn't help it when they weren't throwing punches and he had her pinned like that. If he could only round his hips he could probably have her begging for it.

Buffy groaned, "Why is she calling so late?"

"Better answer." Spike nudged her and she glared up at him. Slowly, phone still ringing, he picked himself up off her body and held himself a distance away, ready to defend her from trying to suckle the stains on his shirt.

Disdainfully she picked up the phone and hit the answer button. "Hello?"

"Buffy?!" Dawn's worried voice came screaming through the phone, sounds of crashes coming through the background. "Are you almost home?"

"Just about." She was about a two minute run from the house, if she ran fast. "Why?"

"The demon. M'F-M-M It's in the house!" Dawn screamed a painfully high pitched resulting in Buffy having to hold the phone away as yet another crash and more screams came through the speaker.

"On my way." Buffy slammed the phone down and started to roll back to her knees, making sure all the money was safely secure and picking up any bills that fell from her pocket in her struggle with Spike.

"The M'Fashnik?" Spike asked, already having a good idea from what he could hear, as he followed Buffy covering his arms over his chest.

"Yeah. Do I really have to save them?"

"Yes." He lifted her the rest of the way off the ground and pushed her forward towards the house. "Now come on."

"Yeah, yeah I know." She started running and he easily kept pace besides her. "Besides, Dawn's in there."

"You care about Dawn?"

"Well I don't not care." It was true that she didn't particularly like Dawn screaming at her for help but she still felt a need to do something. It could have been that it was because she wasn't the one causing the screaming but it seemed deeper than that. Dawn was human but their sister bond still made her want to kill her less than anyone else. Especially when she wasn't there pumping her blood in front of her. Dawn was a pain in the ass but she was her pain in the ass. "Not like I used to though. Plus my sire is in there. Hate to know what happens if she dies." That was said with utter sarcasm. "Maybe a bit curious though."

"Come on slayer." Spike chuckled and picked up the pace wanting to get to Dawn as quick as he could. He was very relieved to hear that Buffy wanted to save her, or at least not let her be dead. He would take anything she could give him at the moment. The fun they had killing the vampires added on with the fact that she was running home to save her sister….maybe he was overreacting a bit. She wanted the blood on his shirt but she was a new vamp. Maybe he was over worried. This wasn't turning out to be such a bad thing.

* * *

Buffy ran through the shattered remains of her front door expecting to see someone dead on the floor based off what the house looked like. "This place is a mess! How the hell am I expected to pay for all this?" There wasn't nearly enough money in her bra for this! "How'd this even happen?!"

"Slayer." A voice she never heard before came from the doorway to the dining room and she saw it; the M'Fashnik demon.

"Oh hot damn." He was an ugly thing with scaly skin and rows of fangs, a cheap copy of Spike's wardrobe added to that. He was big though. Really big. He was a hired gun the muscles had to of been expected. And apparently that gun was now pointed at her. "That's how."

The demon ran forward without another word and they started to fight her in the house. He slammed her down on surprise attack but she had the strength and energy, even after the fights from earlier, and she managed to kick him back off her body and towards the other side of the living room. She could see the mess did not stop there, probably due to the inadequate humans residing in the house. Really she was shocked they weren't dead but she smelled no blood. Other than the remains on Spike's shirt.

Spike started to run up and pulled the demon off another attack by kicking it back into another wall, the screams of the humans in the house sounding out.

"Not the furniture!" Dawn yelled from the top of the stairs as the desk broke at its hinges.

"Buffy!" Both Giles and Willow yelled from in front of Dawn, each with weapons in their hands. Like they would do any good.

Buffy ran forward and grabbed the demon by his lapels and chucked him into the kitchen, aiming towards the kitchen knives. Spike ran around the other side and they had a bit of back and forth with each other, hit for hit, pushing the demon between them.

The demon caught on to a part of the table though and managed to kick Buffy down hard before spinning a punch towards Spike. The smell of the humans and their adrenaline scented blood started to fill her head as she saw them lingering around the living room.

"Can we do anything to help Buffy?" Willow asked as the demon came back for Buffy yet again.

"Yeah. Go the fuck away!" She kicked up from the ground and landed a good kick on the demon's chest, sending it to the floor on its back. She straddled it and started punching it on the side of the head, over and over, hoping to bash in its brains. Small crunches could be heard from the scales but his bones were strong.

The demon gave a big growl before shaking its head and sneering at the girl above him; "Vampire?"

Buffy stopped her punches for a moment and focused on her face. _Shit!_ Shit, shit, shit. She quickly slunk back down into her human form and started punching again, lifting herself up with the table and wall and kicking her foot out against its face. She gave Spike a worried glance who took the demon from behind, picked it up, and smashed it towards the basement door. Buffy opened the door and the demon went tumbling down the stairs.

"What did it say?" Willow asked from her cowering place near the back door. This didn't seem like a fight Buffy wanted to be interrupted in.

"Um…" Buffy stumbled for an answer but Spike saved her before she could say anything stupid.

"Me. Vampire." Spike said, showing off his fangs and lifting his hands into fake claws. She didn't even notice he vamped out too. "Vampire working with the slayer. He was confused. It's a demon thing. You wouldn't understand."

"Okay, cus I thought-" Willow was cut off as the demon stuck in the basement growled audibly from behind the door.

"Sorry, that's me." Buffy smiled and opened the door, jumping down to meet her demon attacker. She managed to tackle him but was promptly met with a good foot of water riding up to her knees. The demon managed to land a few punches of his own, resulting in minor headaches and damp clothes for her before she used the foundation pillar like a stripper pole and swung around it, kicking him in the back and sending him face first into the water.

She dumped her body onto his back and held his face under by the spikes jutting out from the top of his head. Then she remembered these demons were hired. Someone sent it after her specifically. She needed to find out who. She lifted his head above the water and asked him, "Who do you work for?"

The demon didn't answer so she sent him under the water again, waiting for the thrashing to become so frantic she knew she could try again. "Who do you work for?!" Yet again the demon didn't cooperate and she dunked him under the foul smelling water. More thrashing resulted in her clothes and money getting even more soaked before she took a breath and pulled him up again. "Who do you work for?" He just growled and she started to lose her temper, holding him under a bit longer than she should have, bubbles popping like crazy, and when she pulled his head out again, he was gone. Well, so much for that.

She dropped his body and stood up, trying to shake the excess water off her face and make sure a ton of money didn't get lost in the process of the fight. It seemed her bra lived up to the money she paid for it. Every bill was in its place.

"Did you know your basement is flooded?" Spike asked from the top of the stairs in a mocking tone, knowing Buffy told him about the re-piping and obviously able to see it.

"Shut up and help me!" She growled, not really in the mood for games. This wasn't nearly as fun as the vamp fight for some reason and now she needed to move the fully heavy, not ash body.

"No way love." He stepped up a few more steps as if that would prevent her from dragging him down. "This is real leather-" He held out a part of his duster and she scoffed, pointing to her pants. "I'm not jumping into any pools."

"I will make you." She walked into his line of view with her hands on her hips only earning her a sarcastic grin from him.

"Oh just try pet. Love to see it."


	7. God It's Saturday

"Buffy."

"_What is it Dawn?_" Buffy rolled over onto her back with her hands covering her face as she snapped at her little sister. When was she going to learn not to wake her up till the sun was nearing the horizon? She had just saved everyone from the mean little (not really little) demon the night before. Didn't that earn her some R&R?

"Xander and Anya are here to help with the damages from the demon fight last night." Dawn leaned further into the door, knowing better than to go and try and open the curtains again. "We thought you might want to get up and see what you have to deal with."

"Won't they be here in the afternoon? Can't I talk to them then?"

"Oh. Okay." Buffy could hear the huge breath Dawn took in exasperation. "I guess so." She couldn't help but feel like Buffy before death would have run to see her friends at any moment, no matter how long they would be around for. Especially right after an attack. "But aren't you, I don't know, worried or something?"

"Worried?"

"Yeah I mean, the demon was asking for you, it knew where you lived. Where we lived. Don't you want to get all sloothy?" She asked, more hopeful than she was expecting. "Research? Sherlock Holmes like? Investigate?"

"I can investigate at a decent hour." Buffy flipped back over, her back facing Dawn and her head in its place against the pillow. "The furniture will still be broken then."

"Okay. I'll tell them you're sleeping. I just…Are you alright?"

"I'm fine Dawn." Buffy sighed to herself wishing the blood would leave the room. Dawn felt extra pain in the ass this morning. She already woke up with a headache, she didn't need to add to it. It just seemed to get worse with every passing second. "Just nocturnal. Fights keep happening in the night, I sleep during day. It's fine."

"Alright." Dawn backed off and shut the door behind her, shaking her head and going to help with the cleanup, already knowing just what kind of looks she would be getting when she told them Buffy was too tired to help.

* * *

It was hours later when Dawn was forced to knock on Buffy's door yet again, just to be ignored, yet again. This couldn't wait though. "Buffy?"

"What?!"

"Phone." Dawn walked in timidly, the phone held out away from her body like a tiny little shield.

"God it's Saturday. Don't people sleep in on Saturdays?" Buffy turned to look at the phone, her headache already worse than it was that morning, wondering how someone knew to call her. All people who would call her were already in the house. "Who is it?"

"Um…just answer it."

It took a growl and all her will power not to scream at her annoying brat of a sister and instead reach out for the phone and bring it to her ear. "Okay. Here. Hello?"

"Buffy?"

"Angel?" Oh no. That was the last thing she needed. She completely forgot about him. She shooed Dawn out the door, getting up quicker than she ever expected to get her out of the room, the ache in her head creeping down her neck and shoulders.

"Oh my god." Angel breathed into the phone, shaken at hearing the voice of the girl he loved for so long. The voice he swore he would never hear again belonging to the slayer he would never see again. "Buffy. You're really- you're- I need to see you."

"Angel." Buffy gritted her teeth and sunk back into the bed. "Hi. Yeah. Um- what?"

"I need to see you." Angel repeated already planning the trip in his head. The gang could cover for him in LA, he would only be gone for a day or two. That would be all he would need, he was sure. Just a couple of days, it was nothing compared to his leaving for months like he did when she died. Well, sort of died. "I just can't believe you're back. I need to see you."

"Okay." _Not good, not good, not good!_ Angel would definitely be able to tell in a heartbeat (or something along those lines) that she was not human, that she was vampire. He would get over his shock in the drive over and poof, no more revenge for her. Worse, he would think he would be doing the 'right thing' and go behind her back and tell all the humans. She couldn't trust him. "Okay." Spike was good to her in that way. He saw her as a grown woman who could make her own decisions. Angel was never like that. It was always about doing things his way. "Yeah I get it." She paused to buy herself more time as she thought of a way to get Angel to stay in LA for as long as possible. She was too concentrated on Sunnydale to worry about everything else just yet. She wasn't done planning! She really needed to move things along. "Um…." There had to be something. They hadn't seen each other in such a long time before she died, there was a reason she didn't call him to the fight she died in. Maybe she could roll with that. "But didn't we agree we would keep our distance?"

"This is different Buffy. You're back from the dead. I'm not going to not see you. I'll drive to Sunnydale if I have to."

"No!" She snapped, already biting the inside of her cheek at her stupidity. "No. I mean- yeah I'll see you. Not here. Not in LA either. And not right away." God she needed to make plans fast. "Sorry it's just a bunch of stuff is going on that I really need to take care of. Bills and stuff-"

"Yeah." Angel breathed out in relief with her agreement. "Of course. When?"

"I'll call you." She sounded like some one-night-stand floosy picked up from a bar. She needed to sound more convincing, more love-struck or something. Her human self was always pathetic with him. I love you Angel, I hate you Angel, I love you but I killed you, I hate you because you're Angelus, I love you because you care, I hate you because you didn't stay. . . Pathetic. "Soon. I promise."

"Okay. It's just so-"

"I know. Don't worry. I'll see you soon. Okay?"

"Okay."

"Bye Angel."

"Bye Buffy."

_Ugh!_ She flopped onto her back and rolled over onto her side, ready to tear the bed apart if she had to. At least she got the pathetic sounding part down. It was bad enough that she had to work on a way to get Spike on her side, now Angel? And the two of them….they would be impossible. They would find a way to work together too if Angel found out Spike wanted her human. They would team up and she really would be stuck. She needed to find a way to change Spike's mind before Angel came crashing into her plans.

If only she didn't have this splitting headache that only seemed to be getting worse then maybe she could think of a way to fix the Spike problem. He would have loved her vampire self, hell he even showed signs of it now, before she died. What changed his mind? He hung around the humans more. Dawn, he was like an older brother to her. Dawn's opinion mattered but he had to know she was a young girl who could be swayed by her big sister and vampire babysitter. The gang still treated him like crap so he was outcast. That made him fairly alone but he was always alone. Actually that wasn't true. He had Dru and then Harmony and he courted her for a long time. Why her though? She was some weak, if not stronger than the rest, human who rejected him over and over. Something had to wiggle its way into his head to make his aversion to humans change.

Oh god. She was an idiot.

Spike was declawed and that changed everything about him. He hated it, everyone knew that, but it did. It eventually grew with him and that chip changed who he was forever. He lost his life as the Big Bad vampire, William the Bloody, feared by all, killer of two slayers. He was stuck somewhere between vampire and human so of course his views were skewed. She just needed to put them back into the right order. That meant getting his chip out.

She rolled back over again and reached for her desk drawer, opening the bottom one and pulling out her address book. She flipped through it knowing she wrote the number in the back somewhere, as a just in case. She found what she was looking for and flipped the phone in her hands to dial the number.

"The number you have reached is no longer-"

"Shit." She hung up the cell number she dialed and flipped through the pages again. "Other number it is."

"Hello Umber Flower Shop." A man's voice on the other end of the line answered.

"Hi." Buffy replied a bit stupidly, wondering why the hell she was given a flower shop's number. "Is Agent Finn there?"

"Excuse me? Agent Finn?"

"Yes. Agent Finn. Riley." She really hoped this wasn't some huge joke on her ex's behalf. "Tell him we're having a problem with Spike's chip."

"Did you say...his- um...His dick?"

She burst out laughing at the look Spike would have on his face at hearing that, unable to control her cackles. The man on the line stayed silent as she caught her breath and answered, "No his chip."

"Who's chip?"

"Spike." She reached a hand up and ran it over her forehead wishing that ache would stop traveling through her body.

"So tell Finn Riley that Spike's chip has a problem?"

"Finn." She over articulated, fed up with the moron on the other end. "Finn is his last name."

"So Riley Finn."

"Yeah."

"Not sure he works here anymore…."

Buffy growled into the phone reminding herself that death threats wouldn't matter because she didn't actually know where to find this shop and she was sure it wouldn't be open past sunset. "Well did he used to work there and get transferred?"

"Well no one's worked at the shop but me for a long while."

"Wait is this actually a flower shop? Or one of those things where I'm supposed to play along to show that I know it's really secret ops? "

"Secret ops?"

"That bastard better not have given me a bad number." She growled again, her headache only getting worse, as she pictured Riley's big old stupid face being bashed into the wall a few times. She really did favor that daydream. "Well if you are done pretending to be brain dead or some guy named Finn comes in to buy flowers-"

"I'll give him your message."

"Yeah. Whatever." She slammed the end button on the phone and tossed it across the room, sure not to whip it like she wanted to. A broken phone would be a bit hard to explain, especially after Dawn knew Angel was the one who called. "Plan B works too. After sleep." She jumped back under the covers and gingerly laid her head back down, willing the burn in her throat to be gone by the time she woke up.

Sleep did not help.

It only made it worse.

As soon as her eyes lifted open she started to curl up in a ball and tear at the sheets in her pain. She quickly darted her watering eyes around the room to see where the pain was coming from but it had no source outside her body. All blinds were closed and it was even cloudy out, no sun hitting her whatsoever. Then why was she feel like she was on fire?

She rolled over to her side and looked her body over all while trying to catch her unnecessary breath in short pants. The pain was better if she breathed like that. Better but still completely blistering. Yet there wasn't a scratch on her.

Curling up into a ball again she smashed her feet together and tried to make herself as small as possible, blocking out everything around her. Even closing her eyes, the dark room wasn't dark enough and there was an ache surrounding her temple. Sounds kept screaming in her ear, so much louder than they had been before. There was _thumping_ and dripping so loud it sounded like someone was holding a hose next to her ear. Her nose was burning but that was nothing compared to the burn in her throat. A dry ache pulled her attention with every move and she felt like she would start bleeding in her windpipe if she kept it up. Her tongue lashed out against the air without any pleasure, only bringing the tastes of the burning she felt. She groaned and pulled herself harder together as the ache spread through her making her feel like she had a horrible fever rampaging her body. Her temple was pulsing with no heartbeat and it felt like her mind was expanding past her skull, pushing out on the bones like shards in her head.

This wasn't right. What was happening?

The prickling behind her eyes grew more as she tried to close them, close it all out, just go back to sleep till someone found her. But no one would understand. Not any of the humans. She didn't need them. She needed Spike.

She took in a breath and reached out for her bedside table, pulling out her cell and calling his number. The phone rang and rang, more volume added to her ears, but no one was answering. She laid the phone down by her on the pillow, the rest of her body curling up except for the hand kept near the call button. It just kept ringing until voicemail so she hung up and called again. "Spike, Spike, pick up your damn phone." She couldn't yell, it hurt too much to yell. She just rocked herself back and forth and pleaded to the empty room. "Please. Please. God it hurts. It hurts so bad. It's so much worse. Why is it so much worse?" She had to call again and again. "I can't….oh god please just pick up. Spike. Please. Spike please."

"What is it?" Spike snapped and she almost laughed in relief but tears fell instead. "I'm in the middle of something here."

"Please Spike – Spike please it just…. oh god it hurts." She sobbed, losing any control she had over herself. "It hurts so much worse…my head…please."

"Oh no." Spike gasped, running over the night in his head again. She didn't drink any human blood, she wasn't going through withdrawal. Was she? This was blood deprivation at its best, or so it sounded, but she had blood…didn't she? "Did you drink the blood I gave you last night?"

"Left it at the shop." Buffy cried out, bringing her hand back down to hug her aching body closer.

"Fuck." Spike breathed, readying himself to run over to her. This wasn't going to end well.

"Why? Why does it hurt so much worse?"

He tried to sound comforting but his nerves had him on edge as he checked to make sure the sun was hidden behind clouds. "You went out fighting last night. Plus the fight at your house. You used up the blood you had. Your slayer blood must be gone."

"Just make it stop." She went back to rocking her body, finding the constant motion bringing her some ease. "Please make it stop. Make it stop, make it stop, make it stop."

"I'll be right over." He was already out the door, blood in his pockets. Human's blood would be a fix all for her but he couldn't do that. Not after he had tried so hard to keep her clean. Just a little longer she would have to wait. Pig's blood would work. Eventually. "Five minutes tops. Just stay right there. And Buffy…don't leave your room."

Buffy nodded to the phone as the line went dead and she was left to cry to herself hoping that none of the humans, if there were any in the house, would come to check on her. She didn't dare check as all the pain only seemed to get worse as she tried.

Spike ran the entire way to Buffy's home, ignoring any and all odd looks he got, until he smashed through the back door, ready to bolt up the stairs. This couldn't wait to heat up in the microwave. In the state she was in, she would eat anyone within jumping distance.

"Spike? What are you doing here?" Giles asked as he popped back up from the fridge after obtaining a cool water bottle.

"What are you doing here?" Spike countered stupidly, really just buying time to come up with an explanation. If Giles went to see Buffy, he would certainly be dead. He just had to keep him away. He listened and noticed no one else was home. That was at least good.

"Just got in from a walk." Giles knew something was up with the way Spike was shifting but there was no telling what it was this time.

"Right." Spike nodded, inching his way to the stairs. "You should go walking again."

"And why would I do that?"

"Well just…don't come upstairs." Alright, that was lame but he didn't have anything better. Giles was left staring with his mouth open.

"What on earth…?"

Spike ran before he could listen to whatever scolding the old man had this time and jumped to Buffy's door, not even bothering with knocking. "Buffy? Oh no." She was curled into her own body, her vampire features twisted in pain, her fingers clawing at her hair.

"I can smell him." Buffy growled at the burst of air that flew to her nose from the door. She knew it was Spike, she could feel that, but she also knew Giles was home. She knew the instant he walked through the door. The pain had her out of it but as soon as the human walked in, she was gone and the vampire took over. "I can smell the blood." That blood _thumping_ and _thumping_ away. Every pulse matching the one forming in her skull. She had to get rid of the pain. She had to drink it away. She knew. It was the answer. It was instinct. Primal instinct, and it was right. It was the only thing that was right. "Just let me –"

"Oh no." Spike breathed out again, knowing exactly what that look meant. Buffy started to scramble for the door, jumping off the bed. "No!" He grabbed her and pinned her back down, sitting on her body. "Buffy!"

"Get off me!" She pushed up with as much might as she could muster but her senses were scrambled. She could smell the pig's blood in his pockets and it both disgusted and called her. Then there was Spike overwhelming her, flashing in front of her eyes, and making her even more confused with his own smells. "Get off me now! Let me have him!"

"No!" He scrambled with her hands for a few moments before managing to pin her wrists above her body and digging the pig's blood out from his pocket. "Drink this. Here drink this."

"No!" She started slapping him away, getting one good punch into his side, and he had to put the blood down on the nightstand in order to get her to stay down. Even frantic, she could land a really good kidney blow. "I will not!"

"Buffy?" They both froze, Buffy's eyes snapping to the door. Giles called out again. "Is everything alright in there?"

"No Buffy stay." Spike growled low at her as she continued to struggle harder beneath him grazing her body against his thighs as she continued to try to worm her way out.

"Get off me. Just let me kill him." She reached out to Spike and held onto the top of his hands as he grabbed her wrists, begging him to let her up as she stopped thrashing. "Please it hurts so much. Just him. I promise, no other humans. Not yet. Just let me kill him. Please Spike. Make it stop."

"This will make it stop." He reached for the blood again but she snapped her hand free and slapped it away from him screaming, "No!", making the bottle fly across the room and smash against the wall, the blood flying, dripping, and seeping into the carpet below.

"No." Spike growled back, grabbing her with both arms again.

"Buffy? I'm coming in." Giles wiggled the locked door and Buffy continued to thrash harder.

"No!" Spike yelled to the door, really running out of options as Buffy's strength didn't let up. Desperation could provide great abilities. "Stay out there!"

"Giles, everything is fine." Buffy called out in a fake cheery tone while she continued to struggle. Giles would believe her. He had to. He had to come in. "You can come in."

"No!" Spike yelled again, moving a hand to cover Buffy's fanged mouth. "Gramps stay out there!" She snapped her neck, slicing open his hand with the sharp points of her teeth, making him pull back in pain. "You bitch!" She took her advantage and pushed him all the way back, leaping for the door. Spike jumped back just as quick and tackled her in midair slamming her down onto the ground with a great big crash.

"What the hell is going on in there?!" Giles yelled as he re-struggled with the lock. He didn't know where the key would be but he started looking for it.

Buffy kept fighting, literally clawing her way towards the door but Spike punched her down, spun her over and sat on top of her, moving up to her chest and sitting there, pinning her head and arms with his bent legs. She struggled to move her feet while he reached for the second jar he brought and opened it, splashing it around her mouth, face, and chin, forcing it to touch her tongue.

At first she tried to spit the stuff out, foul as it was, but then it hit the back of her throat. She snapped. It was like giving a dehydrated wanderer water in the desert. She couldn't say no and she couldn't stop. She pushed her head up onto Spike's knee, trying to get closer before he released her arms and she took the jar from him with both hands, tipping it back until every last bit was gone, licking what she could reach with her tongue.

"Better?" Spike asked, still concerned. She needed more than that, half the bottle was all over the floor, but as long as she wasn't ready to kill Giles, she would be fine. If she wasn't so desperate and in pain, seeing her use her tongue like that would have been really damn interesting.

"Buffy?" Giles called again, ready to break the door down with a well-aimed kick.

"Everything is alright Giles." Buffy called, relaxing her body as the ache started to dissipate, the only throbbing coming from where Spike punched her. "Just an argument. I won. You can go."

"Oh you did did you?" Spike whispered back and she gave a half attempt at a glare.

"Are you sure?" Giles really wasn't sure. That sounded like one hell of an argument.

"Yes." She called back, licking her fingers and what she could reach on her face. "Just leave."

"I'll be right downstairs if you need me." He still wasn't sure but he left anyway, noting to keep an eye on the two of them. They sure had been acting strange. He knew how stubborn Buffy was though and she wouldn't tell him what was really going on if he asked.

Only when she was sure Giles was gone did she speak again. "You could have let me kill him." She pouted from under Spike's body. He was still sitting high on her stomach, not letting her off the floor, as he brought his tongue to his palm and licked the scratch she made there with her teeth.

"No. _That_ little piggy is off the market."

She slumped back down when she realized there was no point in arguing. She wanted the blood in the corner too but that had shards of glass inside. There was no point in drinking if she was just going to bleed it out again. "Oh god my head." Even the thought of drinking more blood brought the pain to her attention. "You don't even like him. Why not just him?"

"You wouldn't want to do that Buffy."

"I do want to do that."

"No you-"

"Why is that so important to you? I'm a vampire it's in my nature."

Spike shifted down her body, still not ready to let her off the ground yet. She looked a mess. Her hair was in tangles, her face was covered in blood, there were claw marks on the floor, blood stains on the carpet, rips in both their clothes, and her forehead was still scrunched in pain. "Because. You wanting to kill him means...then…"

"Then what?"

"Then you got no soul."

She stared up at him with her mouth hung open, not really sure if she heard that correctly. Was that really the reason? They already knew she didn't have one. "And you're just figuring out this now?"

"Never mind. It's stupid."

"What?"

"Just…" He reached down to her face and swiped away a thick line of blood that had been dripping towards her ear, stopping the drop and catching it on his thump. Bringing it to his lips he licked it off and pushed up off the ground, helping Buffy up in the process, not even noticing how Buffy stared up at him, completely mystified. "Stay away from everyone till I get you more blood. I'll bring you a six pack yeah?" He tried to smile but it didn't come off like his usual ones. It was quite pathetic in comparison.

"Wait Spike…." Buffy watched as he left the room and walked down the stairs, leaving her in the mess that was her room, all alone.

She picked up what she could and made her bed look better. They had actually kicked a lot of furniture and she was sure there was a dent in the floor that would never come out. The worst to clean was the blood though. She really just wanted to lick it off the walls, and honestly she did. But there was a lot of glass in the good pools so it was more of a temptation than anything.

The humans came home at random points during the day. If anyone tried to knock on her door she would yell at them till they went away. Every time they came close it just brought the headache back.

Repeatedly she just kept telling herself that all she had to do was wait for Spike. Wait for Spike and the pain would go away.

He would come back.

* * *

Spike did come back later in the day, entering her room without knocking again, finding her sitting on her bed, staring at the wall. She had been doing what she had been doing for a long time while he was gone: trying to figure out why he said what he said. He wanted her to have a soul? Didn't he say that was the worst thing possible for a vampire? Isn't that how Angel felt? Why did he want her to have a soul? Was it about this whole idea of his that she could be human again? It had seemed like he was starting to smarten up about that, let it go. Didn't he like her like this? She even saved Dawn from the demon. It didn't mean she had a soul but she could still do what he wanted. And why did she care so much?

"Here you go slayer." Spike walked over to her bed with a six pack of beer bottles, each filled to the brim with pig's blood. "Six bottles of Babe's finest." He tossed the pack onto the table and sat down next to her when she didn't answer, inspecting her body for any problems. Physically she looked alright but she was out of it. "How's your head?"

"They all keep moving." She answered without looking at him but he knew what she meant. He passed all the people on his way sneaking up the stairs. "Downstairs. The humans. Every move and I can smell them. It hurts." Her eyes started to tear up again, the small aches starting to spread like they had that morning when she woke up with that migraine, her neck and shoulders starting to feel it the most.

"Here." Spike reached for a blood beer bottle and popped it open, giving it to her. "You went through your slayer blood quicker than I thought."

She took the bottle from him and stared at it in her hands. "Do you think that means the extra power is gone?"

"You'll need more blood to tell. Drink up." He tried to sound cheerful but he was too worried for it to be genuine.

"How's your hand?" She asked, a bit guiltily when she she saw the small bandage that he had wrapped around it.

"Oh. Fine." He shrugged off, gesturing towards the blood bottle again.

She tipped the bottle up to her lips and managed a mouthful before she started to gag. Without the need driving her and without the pain subsiding as quickly, all it was was horrid, thick, cold, red stuff sliding its way down her throat. She coughed and ended up pushing the bottle away from her mouth, trying to drink again, but pushing it away again. It really was awful.

"I can't-" She shook her head and tried again but just couldn't bring herself to willingly drink that. "I can't- It's so-"

Spike grabbed the bottle from her and turned his body to her side, wrapping his free arm around her. "Stop being such a baby." He pulled her back to the headboard and leaned her into his side, tipping the bottle towards her mouth. She shook her head and pushed away but he held her there and she opened her mouth, reluctantly, but enough where some liquid sloshed inside.

"I can warm it up for you." He offered semi-lamely after she pushed the bottle away again.

"No. Won't matter. Stay." She opened her mouth again and took a smaller sip, gagging again but not pulling away.

"Here, try this." He tipped the bottle just a bit, enough so a small drop landed on her finger and slid down. He brought it to her lips where she licked up the line and swallowed the tiny bit. It wasn't quite as bad but when she tried to do it again, it was still enough to make her want to throw it up.

"Why is it so much worse now?"

Spike shook his head, wishing this wasn't happening to her. She didn't deserve this. "You're going through human blood withdrawal." He was in denial for thinking it was just deprivation.

Part of what took him so long to get back, besides having to go out for more blood, was coming to terms with what he did to her. He still wouldn't allow her human blood but she was drinking it the entire time. He could have prevented this had he not been so stupid. He could have taken her off human blood slowly, slipping it into her pig's blood without her knowing. She would be mad but she would understand that it would be to prevent something like this. She would be fine within a few hours, the night, but the memories of the pain would be forever. The pain he caused her.

"But I haven't drank anyone. I've done what you wanted."

"I know." He put the bottle down momentarily, wrapping her up closer and rubbing his hand along her arm wishing he could take away the pain. He knew exactly how withdrawal felt. "You drank your own blood. I didn't think it would be this bad but…" He didn't finish his sentence as she was lost to another coughing fit. "Shhhhhh. No throwing up on me."

"It hurts."

"I know." He kept trying to relieve her pain with the circles of his palm but he knew it was meager to nothing.

Buffy however leaned into his circles, finding his hand a perfect distraction. It wasn't nearly as bad as it was that morning but the humans being downstairs added on with the growing ache made it bad enough. She laughed at herself as she turned to Spike, almost joking in asking, already having his answer for the day. Even in as much pain as she was in, a pain he understood, he said he understood, he still wouldn't let her kill. "Just one human? Please. I'm begging here. The pig's blood just isn't doing it anymore."

"It'll have to." He reached around for the bottle again waiting for her to hold out her hand as it seemed they were only going to be able to do this drop by drop. Pig's blood would just seem all that more gross to her now that it was the only blood in her system.

"Why does it matter so much to you? Me being good? Having a soul?"

"It just does love."

"That's not a real answer." She smiled at him when he didn't say anything, figuring he would be like that. He held up the bottle to her but she didn't make a move so he ended up tipping the bottle on his own hand, bringing it up to her mouth and allowing her to lick his good palm clean. She felt a bit pathetic in doing it but when the blood was mixed with his tastes, it was almost better. Almost.

He did it again, dipping a drop onto his finger and holding it out. She wrapped her mouth around the digit, sucking it clean but letting her tongue linger as it licked him over and over. He tried not to notice how the motion made him arch his hips off the bed, especially not when her eyes met his, his finger still making her lips pout, but he couldn't help but notice the room getting hotter.

Buffy coated her tongue in the taste of Spike while losing herself to her thoughts again. She couldn't do this anymore. This pain wasn't worth going through. Not with what she had planned. She needed this thing with Spike to move forward. No more of his ideas about making her human or helping her. She needed him on her side and there was no longer a long way of doing it. It didn't necessarily mean it was the right way or the smart way but she needed him on her side now. The call she made that morning was all in that plan, she just didn't have time to warm Spike up to the idea anymore. He needed to be a part of her pack.

"I can't keep this up." Buffy whispered when she pulled back, scrunching her forehead as someone moved on the bottom floor, sending their blood up her way.

"You want to tell them?" He asked, almost hopeful. Maybe this would make her see how much help she really needed. She didn't have to go through this alone and he no longer needed to search for her cure alone. He still wouldn't let the humans muck it up like they already did though.

"No. Not yet." Though that day was soon approaching. All she needed was Spike to come into place. "Just…one more day. Alright? We'll go patrolling tomorrow night and I'll tell them when we come back. One more night of it all. The power, the senses…just one more."

"Alright." Spike smiled behind her as she took the bottle and gulped a swig, shaking her head like it was bad cough syrup. "You don't want to go out tonight?" It was a bit of a serious question. She wouldn't be able to patrol but a walk would do her good. A walk away from the blood bags downstairs.

"Can't handle it. I will eat the first human on the street."

He chuckled and looked around the room a bit awkwardly. Buffy had pulled back to take another swig and he did what he came to do. She wasn't going to be patrolling, she no longer needed him, he was done he guessed. "I guess I'll go home then."

"Oh." Buffy said, a bit dejected as he got up from the bed. Had she said something? "Alright." She glanced around the room, not really sure what to do now. Spike needed to be on her side but that would have to wait till the next night. If he wasn't staying…she really didn't know what to do. "I guess I'll just…stay here."

"You could-" Spike started, wondering out loud. He really had nothing to lose though. "You could come with me." He shoved it off as nothing, scoffing and putting his hands in his pockets. "If you want. To the crypt. Get rid of the human stench? Clear your head."

Buffy smiled at him, sitting up straighter on the bed. "We could rent a movie."

"None of your sappy chick flicks."

"Nothing with blood in it." She challenged and laughed with him. "Can you….go tell them something?" She pointed down to the floor below them. "I don't think I can handle it." He nodded and she smiled back, taking a swig of her drink before grabbing the other five bottles and opening the window to her room so she could slip out. "See you at the crypt?"

"No throwing up on my chair. It's new." Spike warned with a smirk as she jumped out the window and he left the room closing the door behind him. Well that went…better than expected. He was sure Buffy would just want to sleep it off or, well, not hang out with him to watch a movie. He never expected that. It left him pleased and kind of nervous. Was what he was wearing alright? It had holes from the earlier fight. He had a cleaner shirt in his room but Buffy would be there before him. Would she notice if he-? He was snapped out of his thoughts and came to realize the smile on his face when Willow stopped him in the kitchen with a question.

"Spike, what's going on with her?"

"She's got a migraine." He said with an exaggerated frown before gesturing towards the stairs. "Doesn't want to be bothered."

"So why are you bothering her?" Xander popped in from the entrance, leaning against the side of the frame.

"Do I look like I'm bothering her whelp?" He turned around with a sigh, looking at the small little boy in front of him. "She _asked_ for me. Don't see her asking for you."

"Well she-"

"Boys." Willow scolded, seriously worried about the girl who had been screaming at her to leave her alone. Migraine or not, she did not seem well at all. She knew some spells that could relieve pain, maybe she could help. "Spike, how bad is it?"

"Nothing sleeping it off won't handle." He nodded at the witch, contemplating how best to get out of this little worried conversation. "I brought her some painkillers, she's out like a light. Asked me to tell you to leave her the hell alone for the night."

"Maybe I'll just check on her and –"

"Nope." Spike ran to cut Willow off from running up the stairs and finding an empty room. "Strict rule to leave her the hell alone. She's in too much pain to deal with any yippy yappy."

"Yippy yappy?" Willow asked with a frown looking around the room as Dawn entered from behind Xander.

Spike nodded and started back for the door, wondering what movie he could rent for the two of them that fit their criteria. He'd end up with some sappy chick flick and he knew it. Maybe she'd like that though.

"Oh and where are you going?" Xander called out, nosy boy he was.

"Patrolling." Spike sighed back, making a show of his frustration. How she hadn't killed these guys yet he didn't know. It was impressive. "She's not gonna do it."

"Fine."

They all started to leave, including him, but Dawn came running out the door after him. "Wait Spike!"

"Yeah Niblet?" Spike turned, still annoyed but less so than the whelp bothering him.

"She is okay, right? The headache isn't like…" Dawn looked around, up towards the upstairs window and back at Spike, wrapping her arms around her body to fight off the chill in the air. "I don't know…hell coming back or something?"

"Nah, don't worry." Spike tried to reassure her, wishing that he could at least tell Dawn what was going on. Just one more night though. "She's strong she is. She'll be up and kicking by tomorrow. Probably kicking me. Nothing to worry about."

"You're sure? Giles said she threw a fit with you in there. Some kind of fight and–"

"And nothing. I calmed her down and she was fine."

Dawn looked him up and down and a sly smile came across her features as she crossed her arms over her body, down to her hips, and tilted her head. The Summers' _I know something _look. "You cuddled didn't you?"

"Excuse you! I don't cuddle." He poked a finger towards her chest but she just leaned into it with a smile.

"Aww Spike the cuddler." How the hell did she pick up on something like that? Besides he wouldn't call it cuddling. He was force feeding her blood, nothing soppy or prancey about it.

"Watch it Little Bit. I'll give you a headache of your own."

"And yours in the process." She kept on smirking and he knew he lost. Summers women and their arguing skills. He never stood a chance.

"Go on." He glared at her, something she had long been immune to. "It's near your bed time."

Dawn shook her head, knowing it wasn't actually time for her to go to bed. Spike always said that whenever she won an argument and he didn't like it. He'd even say it when the sun was still up just to change the subject. While her life was crazy and no one was really telling her what was actually going on with her sister, at least she had Spike. He wouldn't lie and he would always be there for her sister. "Night Spike."

"Yeah, yeah." She left and he chuckled to her back, looking up at the moon and breathing in the fresh air. Maybe his red shirt was upstairs. She wouldn't notice him slipping into that.

He managed to run the rest of the way to his crypt deciding he knew the best movie rental was on the way there. When he got to the crypt Buffy was curled up in his chair sipping on a blood bottle and smiling at him when he walked in. "Thanks for having me over. I feel much better out here."

"Good." He smiled and nodded, still standing in the doorway, now feeling more nervous than before.

"What'd you get?"

"Huh?"

"The movie?"

"Oh. Right." He fumbled with the bag and popped the movie out. "_Interview With the Vampire_."

"Interview with the vampire?" She started chuckling. "Are you serious?"

"What?"

"A vampire movie? I said no blood! It's like porn at this point."

"Well if porn's what you really want-" He moved into the room, hovering over her chair with an easy smile. "-there's a cabinet in my room-"

"Oh my god!" She held up her hands in surrender, laughing at him and moving away from his proximity. "Fine. We'll watch the vampire movie."

"You seen it?"

"No. Tried to ignore vampire stuff when I found out what I was. Didn't want to mix the lies with the truth."

"Well you know the truth now. We can laugh at how wrong they got it."

"Sure. Sounds fun." She grabbed the movie from him and read the back of the case. "Oooh. Brad Pitt."

"Oh hell." Maybe he did end up getting some soppy chick flick. "Pretty boy playing a vamp?"

"Lead vamp." Buffy smiled, handing him the case back.

"Maybe I will get the porn." Spike muttered as he started to set the TV to the right channel.

She laughed before downing some more of her drink and losing her smirk to the gross taste in the bottle. "Just cus you're jealous doesn't mean I don't get to watch."

"Jealous? I'm not jealous of that wanker."

"Please. You'd love it if they made a movie about you."

"Damn right I would. Be a damn good movie too. William the Bloody: The Big Bad coming to a theatre near you. You know they've written papers about me. Movie shouldn't be that hard."

"Look at you. You're just loving the idea of it. Too bad the ending for the movie. Turned from Big Bad to Big Babysitter. Saving the word, one bedtime at a time."

"Shut it you."

"Hmmm. Dracula, now there's a movie."

"I said shut it." He started to put the movie in and she watched him while laughing, breathing in and finally relaxing the first time all day. The pain had receded immensely and she could finally think.

"You mind if I heat this up?" She gestured with her bottle. "I don't know where your mugs are."

"Downstairs, under the bar." She nodded and left to go do that and he called after her, "That herb stuff is there too!"

He listened to her rummage around his things as he sat back in his chair and took a moment to himself. This was getting harder and harder to distinguish. He wanted Buffy back in some ways but he really liked this new Buffy. He loved the old Buffy sure, but did he really love this one? One tiny thought about her and he already knew that he did. How could he betray vampire Buffy in hopes of bringing human Buffy back? Would it be worth risking what they had going now? Whatever that was. How could he keep her the same but make sure she didn't hurt anyone, so everyone could be happy? He could only think of a chip but he would never put her through the hell he went through every day. He would just have to figure something else out when they told everyone tomorrow. She said one more day, he would hold her to that.

"You're in my seat." Buffy smirked as she grabbed another gulp of the semi-better tasting warm blood in a mug. She quirked her hips to the side but it only made Spike smirk back at her.

"And you're going to miss the movie if you don't get over here."

She shook her head but jogged over and took up the other chair even if it wasn't as comfy. He dug around for a cigarette and while the opening sequence played, she started to looked at him curiously. "Can I try that now?"

"Hmm? Yeah." The cigarette jumped in his mouth as he dug around for another and held it out to her. She leaned over and took it into her mouth as he reached for his lighter and lit hers along with his own.

He swallowed as he watched her suck in the smoke and trail it out of her mouth right before she started coughing and he lost himself in a fit of giggles.

"Hey!" She coughed, taking a bit of blood in to stop it from happening. He just laughed harder resulting in a smack across his arm. He sucked on his own stick and breathed it out with eased practice, giving her a smirk as if to ask her why she couldn't do that. She tried to copy him and managed to do it better but she still had to cough a bit.

"Don't worry. You'll get the hang of it." He smirked at her frown but the TV grabbed both of their attention as the movie started to roll.

Of course, neither saw as they snuck glances at each other separately.

Buffy was first to glance as the smoke did nothing but make her want to gag. She would keep smoking though. She was sure this was supposed to be relaxing or something. She watched Spike take another drag and did it herself still looking to double check he didn't see. She also had another reason for looking. There was something in the air, she could feel it. She did feel relaxed, maybe a bit on edge from the aches and the tension in the room, but there was just something about Spike….she needed him. That much was clear. She just couldn't figure out why. He was helping but there was more to it than that. She wanted him around. The fact that she wanted him around was changing her plans in her mind. This was not what she intentionally meant to happen when she first started planning. Spike was getting to be more and more important.

Spike noticed the same tension in the air and glanced back at Buffy when she wasn't looking at him. Questions kept plaguing his mind but he didn't care to answer them. He just cared to look at the woman he loved so much, willingly sitting by his side and being with him. He could get used to it.

They shared many laughs over the movie, not believing for a second that this was actually in the horror genre. These pretty boy vamps were ridiculous!

"Do they just have fangs all the time?" Spike started off the round of questions that went on at random points during the film.

"What about the guy on fire? He just survived?!"

"And no one notices the freaky looking white dudes?"

"That look like they're in love with each other. Seriously, why do they look like they're going to kiss each other every second." Buffy purposefully did not look in Spike's eyes as she asked. "Does every vamp just have sexual tension with every vamp?"

"Different times pet. Different cultures."

"Oh and you would know. Actually you would know. Is that what it was like? In the 1700s?"

"Whoa. Watch it missy. How old do you think I am?"

"Fine. 1800s. You come close to making out with every vamp? I mean I know it was just you four, Angel, Dru and Darla, but what, did you do that with Angelus?"

"No one notices the dead people piling up around this little girl?" He ignored her question and she smirked, moving on.

"And rats! That's disgusting. Not that this is much better." She gestured towards her blood.

"I know a certain git who drank rats."

"Angel?"

"Yup."

"Ew!"

"You're the one who kissed him."

"That's disgusting."

After it was over they both looked at each other with a smile, not really sure what was going to happen next. "What do you say to a little drinking game huh? Strip poker?" Spike winked at her, completely overriding the tension.

"I don't know how to play poker." She announced, heading down to get more blood heated. "Probably shouldn't have told you that after you suggested strip."

"Don't know how- Bloody hell. What was that watcher teaching you? Here, I'll teach you." He ran around to get his deck of cards and move the coffin lid so they could play on top of it. "And while you're down there, get the tequila!"

Buffy laughed as she found the bottle he asked for and they spent the night together; playing poker, drinking blood, and smoking. The best way a person who's dead possibly can, when they're stuck not being able to kill humans that is.


	8. Tonight's The Night

There was another meeting about Buffy and her actions after Spike left the house. No one knew he was actually going to meet Buffy.

Giles had already given them a short re-cap of that afternoon and the confusing argument Spike and Buffy were having which didn't sound like anything more than shouting and things breaking. Dawn tried to calm them with what Spike had said, her having a headache, and Buffy had no reason to lie but Giles thought it was more and Xander was soon to jump onto the idea.

"I'm just saying-" Xander started up again as they all sat around the table in the living room, glancing to make sure Buffy wouldn't come around the corner of the stairs. "What if Spike is doing something to her? They've been alone a lot lately and we know how obsessed he was. I say that hasn't changed. He still acts like a dog with a bone every time he sees her. What if he's doing vampire things?"

"What did you have in mind?" Giles asked Xander with an unbelieving expression.

"I don't know. A nip here, a bite there. Mind mojo. Dracula! Dracula did mind mojo!"

Willow chuckled, "Just because Dracula got you to eat bugs doesn't mean-"

"Hey! They were mostly spiders! And I thought we were ignoring that part. Never talking about it again? Ring any bells?"

"I really think she's just adjusting." Willow continued, still feeling the need to defend. "I agree she's been a grumpy puss but she'll snap out of it."

"When? I mean, I believe you Willow." Dawn piped up from her spot on the couch. "I just hate waiting. She won't even talk to me. I feel like I'm waking up a wolf every time I walk into her room."

"You know she's nocturnal."

"I know but for how long?"

"I don't know Dawn."

"I'm not entirely convinced she's completely there." Giles started, cleaning his glasses in wait for the backlash, first starting from Willow.

"What do you mean, not completely there? I brought all of her back."

"Did you?" Giles shook his head and Willow shut up, sinking back into Tara as she started making soothing circles on her back.

"I did. All fingers, all toes. I didn't make a mistake Giles."

"What if you did? We have all made mistakes Willow but mistakes in magic can be more damaging than we realize. "

"He's right you know." Anya nodded, sitting on the arm of Xander's chair. "One of the first things you learn granting wishes is how one small thing can cause a ripple effect."

Willow was staring dangerously at Anya, magic starting to tingle her senses, so Tara put her hand on her shoulder and spoke herself. "So how do we know for sure Giles? What would have been left behind?"

"It's only a theory…" Giles started, his eyes darting around the room.

"What is?" Dawn asked.

"Physically she seems well. Emotionally she has…some complications."

"Complications we expected." Willow hurried to butt in and Giles nodded again.

"Yes. But there is something else about her. When I observed her fighting the hired demon with Spike…well….she was smiling."

"So?" Xander decided to defend his friend too, even though he wasn't at the fight to see what Giles did. "Buffy usually smiled during fights before. You know, punch here, smile there, witty comment thrown on for good measure. It's Buffy."

"Perhaps." Giles tried not to start the fight he knew would come when he spoke his idea. "Perhaps not."

"Giles," Willow interrupted, getting angrier by the moment since he wouldn't just spill what he had to say already. "What are you thinking? Why are you saying this?"

"I'm saying, with Buffy's attitude towards everyone and her behavior as of late, she seems to be lacking some…moral aspects."

"Moral aspects?"

"She's apathetic. She doesn't seem to have the ability to care. The only moment I saw her genuinely care about something was when she attacked that demon. And killed it."

"She was in a hell dimension." Willow looked around at everyone, the magic really starting to squirm within her with the more impatient she got. She did not make a mistake. Buffy was fine. "Maybe she had to learn to care a little less. We still don't know how much time she was in there."

"That could be true. But what if it's not? What if it's more than that? We have a duty to figure it out."

"Wait," Tara's jaw dropped as she caught on to Giles' idea. "Are you saying….You don't think she has her soul?"

"What?" Willow scoffed, looking back at Tara. "Giles-" She stopped as soon as she saw the look on Giles' face. "That's ridiculous. Of course she has her soul. Just cause she's a bit moody, doesn't mean she doesn't have a soul!"

"For her sake I hope you are right. A human without a soul….let alone a slayer without one…there would be consequences."

"And they would be my fault right?" Willow stood, too energized to take moment more of this blame. "I did this right? Me? Well I'm telling you, all of you, Buffy is fine. She's fine and she has her soul."

"I did not say this to upset you Willow. And I do not blame you-"

"Well it sure feels like you are."

"Wills, maybe-"

"Really Xander? You're taking his side?!"

"There are no sides." Xander stood to face his furious long-time friend. "Buffy is the only side. We need to make sure she's okay."

"She is okay!"

Commotion started in the room as Anya tried to calm Xander and Tara tried to do the same for her girlfriend while Giles tried to reason. "No she's not!" Dawn stood from her place on the couch, yelling, putting everyone else on hold. "Look. If something is really wrong with her or if she's just a little more rough around the edges, it doesn't matter. She's my sister, okay? I want to make sure she's okay. And right now, she's not. She's in bed, with a headache and you're all out here screaming at each other! You all keep acting like you care but none of you really do. Or she would be talking to you. She won't even talk to me. So something…something is wrong. But for tonight, it's just a headache. She needs more time. If she's still this way in a few days then we can bring it up to her. We don't need her realizing that everyone that is supposed to care about her is plotting behind her back."

"That's not what we're doing Dawn." Willow said as calmly as she could.

"And if she doesn't have a soul, it can't wait a few more days." Giles said definitely.

"Fine." Dawn pouted out her lips, anger still rushing through her. "One more night. If she's not better by tomorrow night then we'll do a spell or whatever you guys have planned to mess her up even more. Alright?"

"Dawn-" Tara started, hoping to calm her down.

"No." Dawn lashed back. "I'm making this decision. That's final." She stomped out of the room and up the stairs with a definitive crash on every step. This was her decision and they were going to listen to her for once.

"One more night." Anya turned towards Giles. "Can it wait that long?"

"It will have to." Giles nodded and went back to cleaning his glasses, double checking the stairs to make sure Buffy was still in bed and hadn't heard any of that.

* * *

After Spike's, Buffy had to go home in case Dawn decided to try and wake her up again. She didn't feel like explaining how her head miraculously got better or how she ended up sleeping at Spike's. Plus the run home would be fast. It seemed that her extra slayer power was still there under the surface. She may have drank herself dry but something in her DNA kept it around. As long as she had blood, she was good.

Like a miracle in itself, no one did try to wake her. She slept through the day till the afternoon and woke on her own to find the house lovingly boarded up and free of all sunlight. She was still greeted by everyone in the kitchen, each worried in their own way, but for some reason, they were almost bearable. They all actually were avoiding her a bit, behavior that was a bit odd, but that didn't matter to her. They all looked at her like she might explode and she took advantage of that, jumping around corners and popping out from under tables. It was quite fun to frighten them and smell their adrenaline. It was almost enough to not want to kill them. That was until she remembered why she was on this planet and not dead like she was supposed to be.

There was also the fact that she drank a bottle of blood before coming down the stairs. She had another just waiting for access to the microwave. It took the edge off enough where she could tell everyone she was feeling much better and would even go out patrolling. Giles didn't seem to believe her as much as the rest, he wasn't hiding his uneasiness as well. It was obvious he knew she was hiding something. That wouldn't matter for long though.

They only had until tonight.

Spike stopped by later in the day, almost nightfall. He wanted to check on her and had the slight hope that they could go out again, maybe end up back at his place. Movies or not, he just wanted to hang out with her.

"Hey slayer." He slid in from behind her in the kitchen, watching as everyone glared at him in turn from the other rooms. Except for Dawn, she smiled. "We going out tonight?"

"Yeah actually." She smiled at him, downing the blood she had managed to heat as Spike's presence kept everyone away from the kitchen. "I have somewhere I want to take you."

"You do?" He leaned over the counter, giving her a coy smile and a rundown of her body with his eyes. Whatever surprise she had planned, as long as she was wearing those tight jeans, knee high leather boots, and far too low cut top, he was fine with it. Seriously, she had to of cut that top with scissors. No store would sell it like that without having to take full responsibility for all the havoc it would cause by the men getting distracted by it. Two lovely, smooth, lumps curving down, just barely squeezing into that-

"Yeah." She knocked him clean from his thoughts by speaking but she knew what he was looking at. Xander had caught his fair peek earlier and Giles practically ran from the room. Heaving her chest on the table to make them look bigger she leaned into Spike's space and lowered her voice to a whisper. "But it's a surprise so shut up."

"Yes ma'am." Spike gave a lazy fake salute as his tongue rolled between his teeth and his eyes started to drift yet again.

"Hey Buffy." It was the other Summers girl that had him stopping this time, turning to lean on the edge and see what she wanted.

"Yeah Dawn?" Buffy turned the same way and, hopefully without Dawn noticing, subtly pushed the mug of blood in Spike's direction.

"Can I talk to you for a second?" Dawn shifted into the room more, peeking over her shoulder to make sure the others didn't hear her. They never said they were going to tell Buffy what they thought but she deserved to know.

"My cue to leave then." Spike pushed off the table and started for the back door, already fishing for a cigarette. "Don't want any part of this frilly talk I'm sure. Teddy bears, duvets, and bra-"

"No Spike," Dawn called him back, pulling out a seat for herself and for him. "You should hear this too."

Spike gave Buffy a worried glance but leaned on the edge of the stool and waited as Buffy took a seat too and they all leaned into their small semi-circle to talk in quiet.

"Alright Dawn. What is it?" Buffy couldn't even sound annoyed. Too good a mood she guessed. Even Dawn's constant worrisome nature couldn't bother her. For too long anyway.

"Last night." Dawn swallowed, checking over her shoulder again. She really shouldn't have been so worried about telling her. She was sure Buffy would throw a fit about it but she had to tell her. "Everyone met while you were sleeping and….We're all just worried about you Buffy, you know that. But Giles was thinking and…"

"And what was Giles thinking about?"

"You've been a bit…you know. And well…Somehow Giles got it into his head that something could be wrong. That maybe something in the spell went wrong."

Buffy froze for a moment, her eyes bugging and automatically glancing at Spike in worry. He too was giving a similar look. She should not have allowed Giles to stay. She should have killed him when she had the chance. Only a few more hours until she was free and he was about to ruin everything.

"Everything is fine Dawn. Nothing is wrong."

"I know that! I do. But he thinks…well he thinks some of you may have been…left behind."

"Left behind?" Alright, so he didn't know she was a vampire but that still threw her through a loop. "What do you mean left behind?"

"In the hell dimension. He thinks Willow may have…your soul...accidentally by the way. Willow feels bad enough as it is. She doesn't think anything is wrong but-"

"You think she left my soul behind in hell?" Buffy asked almost incredulously. They had it half right. Smarter than she gave them credit for.

"No!" Dawn defended, almost reaching out to grab her sister's arm. "Well yes. Not me. But they want to do some magics to make sure. I don't think another spell will help anything but it's not like they'll listen to me anyway."

"No Dawn." Buffy nodded, getting a nod from Spike as well. She even reached out and put a hand over Dawn's leg, brushing her jeans to try and comfort her like a good big sister would. "We don't need to do more magic." Of course, she was doing it for other reasons. "I don't want to do more magic. I'm fine. I really am. I have my soul."

"That's what I thought." Dawn smiled wide at her sister's change in attitude and gesture, though she still wouldn't move her hand over Buffy's for fear that she would move it. "Spike doesn't have soul. He would have told us if you didn't have one."

Dawn looked at Spike who stuck an easy smile on his face. Lying to the rest of the humans, easy. Dawn, with those big puppy eyes full of innocence and hope and youth and kittens and things…harder. Still, he had promised Buffy one more night. He could do that for her and apologize to Dawn later. "That I would have. Though I doubt she had a soul to begin with. Trying to kill me as many times as she did."

Dawn laughed at his joke as Buffy took her hand off Dawn and moved it in a cutting motion across her throat for Spike. A playful death threat that only made him wink at her.

"Tell you what Dawn," Buffy stood up and shook her hair out of her face and started to sweep it up into a ponytail. "After patrolling tonight, I'll come back and show everyone just how fine I really am. Alright?"

"Alright." Dawn stood up herself, glad that Buffy seemed to be doing so much better. She didn't know why everyone was so worried. She was doing extra fine today.

"Come on Spike. Surprises await!"

She jogged out the back door and he followed, giving a nod to Dawn and finishing off the rest of Buffy's blood.

* * *

Buffy led the way the entire time while Spike waited patiently for her to show him whatever surprise she had in store. For the life of him he didn't know what it would be. Even when they reached the spot she was taking him, he still didn't know.

"Buffy what are we doing here?" He looked around the top of the ground, knowing what lay beneath. This was a way to get inside the Initiative. He remembered it pretty damn well himself. There weren't many cheery memories of him being there. Saving the lot of humans, really all for her sake, even if it started because he couldn't get his chip out after all. Still, being brought to the place that shoved a chip in his brain, locked him up, and had him be gawked at by the floozy ex wasn't his idea of a surprise.

"Well…" Buffy turned on her heels, breathing in deep and readying herself for the argument she knew would come. "You'll like it..."

"Slayer-"

Spike's tone was dangerous as he started shifting into his fighting stance so she started to ramble off her reasons and hoped that he would follow. "So I wanted to do something for you. I know me coming back as a vamp has been confusing and stuff but I understand now." She walked closer to him, shifting into her vampire features and letting the moon shine off her fangs, laying a hand across his chest. "You called yourself a monster. You weren't a monster. You have so much control and you went through all that pain for me." She slid her hand up and flipped the pads of her fingers so they drew a line over his temple. Spike couldn't help leaning into the touch, his eyes closing. This was one hell of a surprise after all. "It must have been so hard for you. I'm so sorry. I want to make it a bit better." She smiled at him when he opened his eyes and looked down at her in confusion. "I called the Initiative today. Or I think I did. Flower shops and things." She shook her head so he wouldn't ask and continued with anticipation. "I think we can get your chip out." She broke out into a full smile and gripped at the sides of his jacket trying to pull him into her excitement. "Then we can really be vamps together. You'll be off your leash and we can really play."

She started giggling but Spike didn't join. He grabbed her hands and started to pull her off his body. "Buffy-"

"I know, I know." She took herself off of him and turned to the city that would soon be hers. "Just wait to thank me after it works."

"Buffy no!" He moaned from behind her, wishing he hadn't heard what he just did. Yes, running away to go be scary creatures of the night sounded marvelous but it just wasn't right. It couldn't be right. "This isn't like you at all. You wouldn't get my chip out. You wouldn't trust me enough."

"Well I trust you now." She turned to him, a little more than put out at the fact that he didn't start jumping up and down with joy with what she just told him. "I don't care if you start killing again."

"You should!" He grabbed her on either side of her shoulders and pulled her to his body, shaking her as he spoke. "This isn't you. _I want the real you back_."

"Well I'm not coming back!" She pushed him back, hard. He stumbled but didn't go very far. "So you might as well get used to it!"

"No. No I refuse to believe that." He tried to reach out for her but she moved her body again. "I can help you Buffy. Help me help you."

"Help me? By making me human again?!"

"Nothing will have changed."

"I'm not going back to that!"

"You can't be cursed like this!"

"Cursed?!" She laughed and started rounding on him, sick of having to defend how she felt to him. "I'm free! I'm finally free! My life before was a curse. Always being told what to do, where to go, who to kill, what to die for. I'm done! I don't want to be the slayer anymore. I finally have power and I'm not letting it go."

"I can fix you Buffy." Spike pleaded, inching closer as she only backed away and grew bigger, screaming her words.

"Fix me? Fix me?! I'm not broken!"

"You will be!" He shouted right back at her, sliding a hand through his hair when she backed down and groaning to himself in frustration.

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" She crossed her arms over her body and watched as Spike paced. She knew she was in for some sort of fight but this wasn't exactly what she pictured. She was not broken.

"You want to know why I care? Why I want the old you back? Because this-" He slammed a hand against his chest, the sound waves it caused echoing through his ribcage. "This is hell Buffy. This little idea you have, that what your experiencing right now, _that_ being hell? No." He shook his head at her before he started to pace again. "It's too easy. What's hell is what you will become. Always needing to kill. Always moving forwards, past the humans, never having a home. Sure it's fine and dandy for a bit. All that power, you can do whatever you want. But every vamp has their day. That day when they realize they have nothing left! I don't have a soul. But that doesn't mean that I don't feel! You'll feel it too. You'll end up just like the rest of us. Wishing you had the choice to take it all back."

Buffy waited for him to finish his little speech before walking up to him, glaring up into his eyes. "I don't know if you remember, but I never had a choice in the first place. They did this to me!" She pointed towards the town below the lights twinkling in the distance. Somewhere down there, Willow and friends were all talking about her. Whispering and gossiping about how she was behaving, having no idea that they were the ones causing her to be this way. They were the ones that brought her to hell. And according to Spike, it would only get worse. So why the fuck would she not take what was hers before that happened? Who said it would even happen to her? "Besides, that's your life. I won't be alone."

"And who's going to be there with you huh?"

"Well I had some in mind but I see that's not going to happen!" She pointed a finger in his direction but he just shrugged it off and started to walk away. "You used to want to be with me." He stopped dead (undead) in his tracks and faced the tree line, refusing to look at her. "You couldn't ever believe that we could be working together. Well now you have that chance. You have a chance to be the closest to me you could ever get and your throwing that away? Why? What are you scared of?! You've done this before, you've killed, it's not like you have a conscience. Do you just not love me anymore?"

"Don't." He closed his eyes and set his jaw, shaking his head and trying to keep his demon down. "Don't you dare."

"Too obsessed with someone trying to kill you?" Buffy couldn't stop herself from going on and on. There was no filter for her anymore, she just kept talking. "Is that your thing? You want someone who hates you? Is that why you want me to have a soul?"

"Buffy-" He finally turned on her and they both rounded each other, circling slow as fists started clenching.

"When I was human, you said I treated you like a man. It was true. You were growing on me. Is that what you want? Is this you? Do _you_ want to be human again? Human with a soul? That won't get me anymore Spike. I'm a vampire!"

"This isn't about me."

"Yes! Yes it is! You masochist. You just want to want me don't you? Too scared to actually believe I could change my mind about you. Well guess what? I started to change my mind when I was human but I still believed you were this primal, disgusting, pig with a robot. Now? Now I finally see you and you want to run in the other direction. You coward! Changing me back won't make me fall in love with you! You're pathetic!"

Spike stopped his circling and moved in close, far closer than he ever should have dared, and leaned over her body. She refused to back away but she could feel the power radiating off of him and into her body. Hell she even liked a bit, even raging mad she still found it alluring. "I loved you Buffy. Nothing's gonna change that. But you're just some newborn vamp trying to sink your fangs into a bigger bite than you can swallow." His tone quickly changed to mocking as his hands flew in the small space between and around them. "Plans of conquering the world? Revenge on the people that wronged you? Guess what? We all had those! The world doesn't work that way pet! It isn't handed to you on a silver platter just cus you got a battery boost and a new set of teeth. All that power doesn't make you better than any other demon on this planet. You're gonna learn that the hard way if you don't watch your step."

"And who's gonna make me?" She leaned up on her toes and laughed in his face, a smirk sliding up from under her fangs. "You?"

"I will if you don't stop running that mouth of yours. Yeah, maybe I want you back as a human with a soul, slayer kicking my ass around. Maybe it's selfish, maybe it's not. Though I gotta tell ya, I'm really starting to want the old slayer back now. At least she had a reason to be such a bitch. You're just some lost, inexperienced puppy looking for someone to kick around. You're just a narcissistic, bitchy-"

Spike's head slammed to the side as Buffy's fist collided with his face. He held to his jaw for a moment, a little shocked at the action and kicking himself for not seeing it coming. He sprang back with his own punch, jumping into his own demon form, and made her head slam to the side as well.

In an instant they were both at each other like wild dogs. Spike let all his frustration out through every kick and leap and Buffy did the same, pulling in all her slayer power and aggression.

Buffy was first, quick with a kick to the gut that bent him over and following up with a punch to the side. Spike rolled away before she could get a third punch in and slid a leg out from under his coat and knocked her in her ankles. His power was enough to have her tripping and he pounced off of the ground and slammed the bones of his wrist into her forehead when she tried to sit up.

A quick kick came from behind him as Buffy flipped him to the other side of her and she rolled to a perfect stance. He waited for a moment and caught her when she tried to pirouette around his body to land another blow. He gripped her leg between his hands and tossed her aside, a kick to her midsection following.

She jumped up to avoid his kick and landed on a close rock, giving her a bit of an edge in a jump and allowing her to kick him square across the temple. He dropped to the floor and she tackled him beneath her body. He only managed to flip their positions for a second before she flipped them back.

He pulled back to punch her face but she moved and all he came into contact with was the sharp bone of her fang, cutting across his skin. He hissed in pain and she took the moment to land more punches into his demonic features.

With both hands he pushed her off his body and sat up, picking up a rock and using it to knock against her skull. Blood came back before he tossed the rock aside and spun to land his foot in her chest. She fell back but just as he was about to jump on top of her, she reached into her pocket and pulled out the small stake she carried around with her.

He stopped short, tripping a bit over himself, but managed to prevent himself from falling. She looked at the stake in her hands, back at him, and dropped it to the ground. It was too late though. He was already running away.

"Spike? I wasn't going to hit your heart!" She called after him but he only ran further and further into the distance. "Where the hell do you think you're going?! Spike! Fuck you too then." She muttered to herself and looked around, her eyes falling on the stake.

Really it was just instinct to pull it out. She finally got that fight with him she'd been looking for but it was fueled by the wrong things. Aggression and revenge and being pissed off were never good reasons for a fight like that. At least not with a stake in the mix. She didn't mean to pull it out. Of course, she never would have used it, but it didn't look good. She would have to go after him to apologize. Shit, she just made her life a lot harder. She kicked the rock on the ground and brought a hand to her head. Damn he got in a good hit. She was bleeding and that was definitely going to hurt in the morning.

* * *

Spike ran the entire way. He didn't know if Buffy knew where he was going or not. He just needed to get there before her.

His entire body was starting to ache with the rush of the fight leaving him. She really did pack an extra punch on top of the vampire strength. Slayer plus vampire equaled a beating. Still, there was no reason for her to pull out that stake. Inexperienced, just like he said. She was too new. She needed to be stopped before there was never a chance to fix her again.

"Spike? What happened?!" Willow's voice rose in shock as she stared at Spike's bruised face and torn clothing, blood smeared on his face and dripping from his hand. "Is Buffy okay?!"

"She's fine. I have something I need to tell you all." He marched himself over to the living room and yelled to the witch behind him, the one who started this mess. "Get everyone in here now."

"They're all here." Spike's appearance and tone had her running up the stairs and calling down after him. "One minute." She jumped in and out of rooms, gathering Tara and Dawn and Xander and Anya from upstairs and Giles came from the basement on his own.

"Spike?" Giles stopped in the living room and watched as the rest of the team started to meet them in the room. "What is this about?"

"Buffy." Spike swiped away the blood dripping down his face only to bring more of it with the palm of his hand. There really was no point.

"Oh great." Xander sarcastically piped up as he descended the staircase. "What's he doing here?"

"Shut up whelp, I have something to say."

"Excuse me-"

"Xander shut up." Willow shushed him with a raised hand and turned back to Spike, still put off by the amount of blood tracking around him. "It's about Buffy."

"You know how I warned you Red?" He couldn't help how pissed off he was. He didn't care that he started ranting at all of them. He knew better, they should have, but they didn't. This was all them. "All magic comes with a price. Well I know what that price is. I promised her I wouldn't say anything but it's getting out of control. She may kill me for this…literally actually. But I have to tell you. I can't control her on my own anymore."

"Control her?" Giles moved to Spike's attention, concern the only thing on his mind. "What are you talking about?"

"Buffy. She's-" He looked around the gawking faces of the young teens and adult around him, falling onto the youngest of the all. Dawn looked more than shocked at his state and she was hanging on his words. He knew this would hurt her the most. He looked away and back at the others, trying to say what he had to as sensitively as possible. For the Bit's sake. "She's - she's like me."

"How like you?" Dawn was the one to ask but he didn't look at her when he answered.

"She's a vampire."

"A vampire?!" Willow yelled, looking around the room for some hint that this was all a joke they decided to play on her. "That's ridiculous."

"Is it?"

"She has been avoiding sunlight." Tara whispered out slowly, looking at the boarded up windows and remembering how every morning since her return, Buffy would always make sure to close the blinds. Dawn even made a joke about it.

"And she's been hanging around creepy here more than normal." Xander seemed a bit out of body, not even in full insulting mode when regarding Spike.

"She hasn't been eating." Anya added as fact, handling it a bit better than everyone else but still a bit shocked.

"But- but it can't be." Willow shook her head over and over, falling back into a chair behind her, refusing to stop. "It-it-it can't be."

"I've only just kept her from killing people." Spike continued, speaking more towards the only adult in the room (relatively speaking). He seemed to be breathing normally at least. "I've been feeding her pig's blood and she seems to listen to me but she's still coming into it. She's kept off the hunger by fighting and with her own blood but that only goes so far. She's not herself. She doesn't have a soul."

"No." Spike turned to Dawn who was staring at the wall, tears starting to brim over and fall on her cheek. "No it can't be."

"I don't know what to do." Spike continued, not really sure how to help Dawn and not wanting to comfort the other companions. "She's just not Buffy. She is but she isn't."

"What made you come to us now?" Giles asked, gesturing towards his clothes and face.

"She tried to do me a favor." Spike sneered as everyone gave him an incredulous look.

"Oh God. Doing you a favor?" Xander looked at the others with a fake smile. He couldn't bring himself to actually smile. "She really isn't herself."

"What favor Spike?" Tara asked while rubbing her hands across Willow's back, wishing that she could calm her down and help them figure this out.

"Tried to help me get my chip out." He tapped his noggin and everyone started to go into shock again.

"Oh no." Anya was the one to speak before Spike explained a bit further.

"I've been looking to get her human again. Undo the damage you did but…Doesn't seem to be a way. You messed with some really deep and dark there Red. You're really in the shit this time."

Willow couldn't bring herself to say anything or even look up at Spike. She didn't do this. She couldn't have done this. She could not have done this to her friend. It had to be a mistake. A lie. Something. Just because Giles said he thought she didn't have a soul and just because she overheard a demon, who was on his back bleeding because of Buffy, say something that vaguely sounded like 'vampire' didn't mean that she was one. Spike was just spinning a lie. He really didn't have a soul, he could do that and not feel bad. Her magic did not do this. It did not.

"There is no magic to bring her back to being human." Giles announced in his textbook way of speaking, knowing that it was a lie. Any magic that would turn her human though, would be forbidden. He could not allow the possibility for those consequences. Not after this spell went so wrong.

"Willow." Xander spoke up, turning to his witch friend. "Don't we have that spell we used on Angel? The one where we can get the soul back into the body?"

"Yeah." Willow nodded, running through the spell in her mind and lifting her head. "Yeah actually I have all the stuff upstairs. It'll really take it out of me but I think I can do it. Giles?"

"Yes. It seems that is our only option." Giles looked around the room as the older members of the group ran up the stairs and Dawn sat quietly. There would be no helping her, he had tried before when she got like this. She would only scream and lock herself in her room. It was best to let her come out of it on her own. "Spike, a word." He nodded towards the dining room and Spike followed with a second glance at the young Summers.

"What?"

"While I appreciate you taking care of Buffy you should have come to us."

"And what? Have you poking and prodding her? She was going through enough."

"She's a slayer and a vampire, returned after many months of death due to magic. We don't know what she is or what will affect her."

"I can tell you she's powerful." He nodded at himself, showing off his beaten body. "She won't go down easy."

"If this doesn't work." Giles double checked to make sure Dawn was out of hearing range but lowered his voice anyway. "You do realize we may have to look at other options." He did not want to think of those options himself but if Buffy was really what they said and she was a lost case, there was only one thing to do.

"It'll work."

A resounding crash of the front door stopped anyone from talking again as a battered Buffy walked through and into the threshold.

"You know Spike-" She cocked her hip to the side and glared at him. "-betrayal is a powerful thing." To think she was going to apologize to him? After he wasn't at the crypt, she knew exactly what he planned on doing. Everything was messy now.

"Buffy." He turned to her, pleading in his stance. "They're going to help you."

"Help me?!" She shouted around the room and swiped a hand over her body, wiping some blood off her arm along the way. "There is no helping me!"

"Yes there is!"

"Buffy…" Dawn's broken voice could be heard from the living room. She got up slowly and walked to the bottom of the steps to face her sister. She could see it now, the things that were different. It all made sense now. She grew up with a vampire slayer and she couldn't even spot a vampire that was living with her. Still, it was her sister. They were going to help her like Spike said. "We're going to put your soul back."

"My soul?!" Buffy's eyes went manic as she turned the full of her fury on her little sister. "I don't want my soul." She started to laugh with the same menace, making the water in Dawn's eyes fall faster and the frown on Giles' face grow steelier. "I feel so light without it."

Spike was the first to jump, slamming her back against the door frame. She pushed him right back and into the living room, jumping on top of him and continuing their fight from before. Dawn screamed at her to stop but she ignored it.

Giles moved fast towards the weapons cabinet and dug up some chains along with a solid steal bat. It wasn't one of Buffy's favored weapons but it would get the job done without killing her. She was far too distracted by Spike kicking her and Dawn's high pitched shrieks to notice that he had tossed the bat to Spike's side.

Without being told Spike grabbed the shining thing and gripped it in his hands, winding it up like someone was pitching. Buffy looked at Giles with a sense of mock shock before ducking the first swing and using the bat against Spike to smash him into their newly fixed desk. It smashed down around him and he sunk into the floor, refusing to let go of his weapon.

Dawn tried to run forward to stop her but an almost too easy push with her hand and Dawn stumbled back into the chair and right down onto the ground. Spike saw Dawn fall and a new sort of drive made him push off the ground to attack again. Giles took up the chains and did what he could with them, aiming for her head and neck.

She managed to push the chains away, wrap them around her wrist, and give a good blow to Giles' head but that distracted her too much. The next thing she felt was a resounding conk against her skull as Spike swung the bat hard and it hit her temple. One more swing and she was out like a light, only seeing that pitch black behind her eyes.

* * *

"The spell is almost ready." Tara's voice echoed far in Buffy's mind. "Oh no, she's waking up."

Buffy squinted until she could open her eyes, ignoring the pain in her head. She tried to wiggle but she realized she couldn't move very far. They had the chains down tight around her body. She was very well tied to the case of weapons. It wasn't the best placement on their part. As soon as she got free, that was what she was going for. Still, they knew what they were doing and she couldn't move very far.

In front of her stood and sat every human and Spike. Their blood all rushed around her ears and nose but something else could be detected. Some herbs and a genie ball were all laid out on mat in front of her. She could tell what they were for. "Well look at this." She shook her head and with fake cheer greeted the room. "All my friends here to betray me once again."

"Betray you?" Willow looked across the mat at her with sad eyes and she almost reached out to touch her arm but didn't think this vampire would respond well. "Buffy we didn't do this to you."

"Actually you did."

"Shut up Spike." Willow barked over her shoulder at the vampire that was _not helping_. "We didn't."

"Oh but you did." Buffy spoke up, eying everyone in the room to measure their guilt. "Did you even bother to think of what might have happened to me after I died? Did you bother to think that maybe hell wasn't where I went?"

"But it was." Willow continued to shake her head, barely glancing at anyone else in the room. "It was why you came back as a vampire. You got changed there or something."

"All magic has a cost Willow." Giles spoke in a distant tone, to furious to do much else. "I told you this."

"But I didn't do this!"

"Oh Willow you did." Buffy smiled at her and flipped her head back, sliding into her demon face and relishing in the shock and gasps that filled the room. Spike gave a huff for the dramatic feel but she knew he would be doing the exact same thin if he could. "I can feel it you know. The relationship between a sire and vampire is powerful. I can feel our connection." Even in that moment, concentrating on that bit of 'white noise', she could feel that heat. That extra feel of power and something she just couldn't explain. "Shame you can't. Or can you?"

"Buffy I-"

"See-" She interrupted before the witch could speak. She didn't really care what she had to say. "Because what really happened was I did go to heaven. I was done. I was complete. I was happy. You're the ones who pulled me down to _hell_."

"We didn't-"

"It was hard at first." She continued to interrupt, a guilty Xander this time trying to talk. She had been longing for this moment. She was going to get it in before they shoved a soul back down her throat. They needed to know what they did and she was going to love every second of their realization. "I didn't know what to do with myself. Spike explained a lot to me." She gave him a smile but he was pretending not to look at her. Of course she could see he was glancing but she moved on quick to read the others.

The only one she couldn't read was Dawn, she was doing that zombie thing she did when she got too upset. Still, Dawn wasn't really a part of it all. Hell, she was probably just as mad about the situation as she was. She didn't have any say after all.

"See," she continued "I was drinking my own slayer blood, from the moment I started digging my way out of my grave. It was what caused me to not have to rip out your throats as soon as I saw you. Not that I didn't want to. Even now I wouldn't mind ripping open one of your veins and drinking my fill. I don't know what human blood tastes like, Spike won't let me have anything good, but I bet it's good." Her eyes fell to Willow's shocked ones and she locked them in, making her listen. "Especially you. I fantasized so many times about sinking my fangs into your beating heart. I even pictured ripping it out of you first. Thought it might be _fun._"

Willow gasped in the back of her throat but Buffy had the ears to hear it. She started to chuckle and moved on to the rest of what she had to say, powered by her hatred and the feeling of getting to shove it in their face for the first time in far too long a wait. "Then there was all this energy! Everything was new, it was all so much. So much pain. I didn't know what to do with myself. I didn't know what I was. I just wanted to kill. I wouldn't even care either. Isn't that great? I finally know what it's like not to care." Everyone was hanging on her every word. She soaked it all in, breathing deep, and even tasting some of their shock and fear in the air. It was heavenly. "So there I was, dead, and you all just had to tear me back to this world. As if I hadn't done enough. I saved it enough. Now…" She looked around letting her fake cheeriness fade away as she started to yell from her belly, blame slung like punches and each of them flinching as they were hit. "I'm in constant pain and it's all your fault. You're fault! I'm in hell. This is hell! And now you're going to shove my soul back inside me? You want me to be in that pain? Don't you think it's up there? In heaven? Where I was?! What cost is it going to come at, dragging that thing down? What price am I going to pay?"

"Willow, start the spell." Giles stopped the speech before he could break any more than he already was. What had they done in his absence?

"Of course." Buffy chuckled at her former father figure. "Ignore it. Stiff upper lip." Her British accent wasn't the best. "Knew you would." Another round of looking around just made everyone crawl back into their bodies further as Willow started to pick things up, tears flooding form her eyes, as she prepared herself. Tara was even crying by her side, all while muttering things like 'it's okay' and 'it's not your fault' or 'you can do this'.

Dawn had started to cry from her spot, the only people not tearing up, besides herself, were Giles and Spike. Spike had lived in pain for far too long and he wasn't about to let the speech he'd heard already make him live in any more. Giles was as British as ever.

"You'll be back to yourself in no time Buff." Xander tried to smile at her but his cheeks were red and Anya was holding tight to his hand.

Buffy closed her eyes as Willow started to chant and the ball started to light up. Taking in one last breath she tried to memorize the taste of the salt on their cheeks touching her tongue. She hoped she would remember this feeling, the pleasure it brought her, even after they made her goody-goody. She could live with the memory of a little piece of heaven after all.

"Shut it." She snapped but didn't get to do much else before an energy filled her system, feeling like Willow and the way her magic flowed, and coursed through her bounded limbs. The connection was intense, one she could have expected from someone she was already magically connected with. Golden light jumped out in front of her eyes and from every pour it could but just like that it was gone.

The spell was done and everyone looked on with a hopeful expression, Willow looking on from Tara's shoulder as the spell had taken a lot over her. Spike even managed to glance over with a questionable look.

Buffy was slumped over, her chin buried in her chest. No one dared to move until she did, her shoulders rising and falling and a sound escaped her lips in short muffled bursts, sounding somewhere between a horrible sobbing and a shuddering laugh.

* * *

**AN: **So to lay Spike out ABC style: He was acting the way he was, wanting Buffy to be human with a soul and not wanting her to kill a human or have the urge to or drink human blood, out of selfishness. He may play it off as not, but really it was. He wanted to save Buffy so the human her would realize he saved her, and didn't allow her to do all those vamp things she wanted to do, and she would "owe" him for it and maybe even genuinely be pleased with him about it.

He knows that as soon as the Scooby gang finds out, they'll probably turn her human anyway (or what you just read), he's not dumb. They would also kill him if he let Buffy do the evil she wanted. He's not recruiting them (for obvious reasons) but he does expect Buffy to be turned back.

The difference with the canon season 6 is that he was the one that manipulated her to the dark side and kept her there, almost controlling it. In this, he doesn't actually expect it to last. While in canon 6 he may not have expected their 'relationship' to go on forever, he knew he would see it coming and he knew what was going to happen eventually. This Buffy is too different, too unpredictable. The situation could change at any moment and while Spike isn't a control freak, he does want to have a handle on what's happening.

This is Buffy, the woman he loves, flipped 180. Canon Buffy was still herself, a little depressing and dark, but still herself (soul and all). Evil vampire bitch Buffy is too much to take in after waiting for human Buffy for so long. He saved the human one over and over. She is what he expected, not this.

The positives of her being an evil vamp are there for him but he doesn't think that is possible. Even with her offering to take his chip out, it's all too good to be true.

Any more questions, please ask (though I will not spoil) (hint maybe)

Much love-


	9. Your Fault

**AN: **I will be on vacation next week so you probably won't get a chapter till...well two weeks. I know, things are just starting to pick up and I leave you. I'm sorry! I didn't even know I would be going on this till two days ago (London/Scotland). Yay for study abroad! I'll let you know if I see Nessie.

* * *

Buffy looked up at the crowd of people surrounding her, her eyes wide and her mouth hanging open as they looked on with worry. Then, after a moment, her lips quivered and she just started to burst out laughing and everyone's face turned to shock.

"It didn't work." Willow fell back from her crouched position onto the floor, looking around the room in a panic while Buffy continued her manic chuckling. "Why didn't it work?"

"Give it a moment." Xander held up his hand, starting to chew on the inside of his thumb nail. "Maybe it just takes longer."

"That tickled." Buffy laughed out, sighing to herself and leaning back into the chains that bound her. "I felt nothing. Oh this is too perfect." She met the eyes of everyone in the room, a smile on her face so wide the back of her teeth were showing. They all just looked so miserable. She sang, "I don't have a soul anymore."

"No." Willow gasped again, Tara trying to lift her off the ground. "It had to work."

"No, no, no." Buffy faked whined, exaggerating the shakes of her head to mimic Willows, before chuckling again. "I'm it. This is all you get."

"Buffy..." Anya didn't know what else to say.

Xander crossed his arms over chest and took on that face that he thought was just so manly and devoid of emotion. Buffy could see right through that though. "She's gone."

"No, see, I'm still Buffy." She looked at Xander with a smirk, the lack of her care finally coming out after such a long time of having to hide it. "I just don't give a rat's ass anymore."

"Don't listen to her." Giles spoke from the edge of the room, looking past Buffy and towards the plywood covering the window. He had really hoped this would have worked. It should have worked. Since it didn't, that meant his inkling was true. This was far more dire than he had originally thought. There was no chance of saving her. At least no chance he would be willing to take. "She's gone."

"Oh and what are you going to do Giles? Lock me up in the basement?"

"No we can't!" Dawn lost any sort of cool she had as she leapt up and valiantly tried to cover Buffy's body with her own, standing between her sister and the gawking onlookers. "We can't lock her up!"

"Tara," Giles looked away from the group, the limited options running through his mind. There was no happy ending here and their constant fighting wasn't going to help. "Take Dawn to her room."

"No!" Dawn screamed as Tara came closer and she fell to the ground and grabbed at the chains around her vampire sister, pulling at them as Tara tugged on her arm.

"Come on Dawn."

"Buffy! No!" It was too much for Dawn and she was already breaking down, shaking and crying. Her hands slipped away from the metal coils and she fell back into Tara as she led her up the stairs and to her room where she fell on her bed and started to sob, pulling the pillow as hard as she could into her chest. The muffling didn't do a thing to prevent Buffy from hearing.

"What are you going to do then?" Buffy turned her attention to those left in the room, giving dirty looks towards everyone and an extra dirty smirk towards Spike, who still continued to stare out at nothing. None of them answered her so she decided to do that for them. "Kill me? Again?" There was a mostly (minus Spike) group flinch and everyone who dared to glance at her let their eyes fall to the ground in shame. "Well which one of you is going to do it huh? Can any of you look me in the eyes and drive that stake into my heart? Hmm?" She looked around again at the shame filled faces but this time Giles had his eyes on her, truly devoid of emotion and giving her the look he gave her so many times when he went to his 'bad place'. "Oh Giles. It would always be you wouldn't it? You were always the one. As my watcher, as my guardian, as my slayer. You'd be the one to kill me, Ripper."

In a flash Buffy was blocked from Giles' view by a long leather jacket and the back of a pair of jeans. "No!"

"Spike get out of the way." Giles finally walked into the room, everyone gaping at him for not automatically refusing what she had said. Then they all saw the small stake he had wrapped in his fist.

"Come near her and I'll break your bloody neck." Spike promised with his hands in fists and his finger pointed out. That threat was a promise for everyone in the room and they could all hear that. Spike didn't get too emotional often, usually just lots of sarcasm followed by short bursts of anger, but when he got like this they all knew not to mess with him. Chip or not.

"Spike there is nothing we can do to save her." Giles continued in his stoic manor, hoping the older-than-him vampire wouldn't realize that was a lie. Spike wasn't completely involved in the magic scene so there was a fair chance that he wouldn't know. If the soul spell didn't work, if the magic didn't work, then...

"There has to be other ways to help her!" Spike stood his ground, almost pleading with someone else to take his side. Surely, even those these twits that were the ones that put her in this position, surely they wouldn't let her be murdered! "We'll keep her till we figure them out."

Giles continued to shake his head, ready to explain half the truth on why it couldn't be so. "Spike." He lowered his tone to a friendlier version, still in his Ripper persona. "She's impervious to magic. It's not just that she doesn't have a soul. It's that magic will no longer work! She's done for. There is nothing we can do."

"Done for? She's not done for!"

"Giles, there has to be something." Anya finally spoke up. "We can't just kill her."

"No-" Any restraint Willow had broke when she heard Anya actually say 'kill'. She shook her head and fell back, continuously repeating herself and letting the tears blur her vision. This could not be happening. She wasn't losing her best friend. Not again. "No, no, no, no, no."

"Xander," Giles regarded him with a nod. "Take Willow away."

"No!" Willow ran forward and jumped at Spike's feet, another barrier in front of Buffy. She didn't even see Buffy's sneer from behind her. "No! No! You can't!"

"Xander!" Giles lost his cool for a moment and Xander jumped forward, pulling at Willow's arms.

"Willow come on." She wouldn't move and started to drag with him. "Willow." He shook his head and pulled her up into his arms and forcibly started to pull her from the room as she started continuously scratching and clawing to get free. Anya followed and tried to help best she could. He understood why she was throwing a fit but it wasn't going to help them come to a sane conclusion. No one was killing anyone.

"No!" Willow screamed again but couldn't bring herself to think of any spells to free her from Xander's arms. She couldn't think straight at all.

Giles turned and faced the last defender in the room. "She is gone. Everything about her is gone. She is just a vampire. Move Spike!"

"Just a vampire? No. She's Buffy." Spike continued to follow the stake in Giles' hand as he listened to the others fighting in the kitchen. If he could stall for time then maybe they would come to their senses and tie up the old man. "She looked up to you! You were like a father to her! Now you want to kill her?!"

"I don't want-" Giles swept a hand over his brow before taking a steadying breath and facing the vampire again. "Spike. She's gone."

"No. I won't let you."

"You can't protect her from everything. She's too dangerous. There is nothing we can do."

Buffy watched as Spike continued to defend, Dawn continued to sob with Tara, and Willow continued to fight to get past Xander as he tried to calm her so they could re-enter the room. This was so fantastic, better than what she pictured. She didn't actually think they would try to kill her so quick. They had more coming to them than she had originally thought.

Of course she couldn't ignore the fact that Spike was playing protector, right after giving her up to them. Now she was stuck listening to the whining bunch while stuck in a bunch of chains. There was no way in hell (quite accurate description actually) that she was dying. These humans were going to die long before she did and by her hands too.

She watched Spike turn to her and she could practically hear the gears in his mind turning. Giles must have been in too much shock or too distracted by all the other screaming in the house to see it. Now he was really starting to get her worried. What was that look for? What was he doing?

"No." Spike turned back to Giles with defeat in his voice. "Let me do it. I'm a vamp too. I know how to make it painless." He reached out for the stake as Buffy glared into his back. She expected this from them but never from him. Like he said, he was a vamp too.

"I can't let you-"

"Just let me." He held out his hand, a sad version of his cocky attitude coming from his slumped body. "You'll all need someone to blame. Might as well blame me. What's a third on my list of slayers right?"

Giles seemed to contemplate this for a while but eventually let the horrible task go and gave the stake to Spike. He would never be able to do it anyway.

Spike turned the stake in his hands slowly and dipped down in front of Buffy, her glare never relenting as she struggled in her chains. This wasn't in the plan for her. Spike was supposed to feel guilty, so were they, they were supposed to let her go so they would feel that much more bad about it when she came back for them. It would be their own fault. Now Spike was just going to kill her?

"Well Spike. Kill one vampire, kill-" Buffy was cut off from her accusation when Spike grabbed either side of her face in his hands and smashed his lips on top of hers. She scrunched away from the attack, far too disgusted with his killing her to even think of reciprocating. As she tried to pull back in her chains she could feel the stake scratch down her cheek and she could hear Giles turning away, Willow still hectic, and Dawn still sobbing. All of a sudden she felt the chains start to loosen and her wrists stopped feeling so pinned. She opened her eyes wider as Spike pulled back and whispered in her ear.

"When I say so, run. Meet you at the Initiative." He stood back up, the stake in his hands and turned quickly, thrusting the blunt end into the back of Giles' head. He screamed out in pain as the oncoming slaughter radiated from his chip but he also managed to yell out to her. "Now!"

Buffy sprang free from her binds and kicked Giles down, a good punch landing against his temple and knocking him out cold. Xander and Anya and Willow all ran into the room as Dawn started crying harder, Tara not able to leave to see what happened.

"Buffy!" Willow yelled at the sight of her free, relief in her voice, until she saw the unconscious Giles lying on the floor. Quickly her expression turned back into shock and Buffy just laughed.

"I'll never get over that face you make."

"Buffy, wait-" Xander tried to step forward but she started to slide into her fighting stance so he held up his hands and backed off. "Just, think about what you're doing here. We don't want to hurt you." Buffy scoffed and turned towards the door. "Wait!"

"No!" Willow screamed and used the magic that had been fighting its way up inside to slam the door shut from across the room. "You're not going anywhere Buffy."

"Watch me." Buffy sprang, leaving Spike by the door, and ran full force towards the humans. Xander started to block the other two girls but she quickly kicked him to the side and he fell straight on his ass. Anya yelled and tried grabbing the closest thing nearby to hit her with, a part of the broken desk, but she had nothing on Buffy's strength. The wood cracked and Buffy punched her under her chin, sending her flying towards the kitchen door. Willow leapt back in surprise but quickly started to channel the power within her and aim it at her friend. She knew this spell, had done it many times, it was simple levitation. Buffy couldn't do anything if she was floating and it wouldn't even hurt her.

Again and again she tried and tried but nothing was working. Buffy giggled as she felt the tendrils of power float over her skin, trying to latch on but failing miserably. Again Willow tried but again she failed and Buffy continued to laugh.

"What- I don't-" Willow couldn't form a sentence before Buffy gave her a hard slap across the face and a kick in the stomach, knocking the wind out of her and sending her to the ground.

"Huh. Impervious to magic." Buffy stood over Willow's hunched figure as she grabbed herself in pain. Buffy leaned down, sure the other two were too busy doing the same thing to attack her. Besides Spike would warn her from his corner, that was if this wasn't all some plan of his.

Taking up both of Willow's cheeks in her hands she looked her in the eyes and wiped the smirk from her face. Willow looked back with eyes wide, tears already brimming from pain and confusion. "Willow, I want you to hear me okay? Nod if you can hear me." Willow again let tears fall in her confusion but nodded anyway. "No matter what they tell you, what they try to blame this on, know that this...this is your fault. I'm the way I am because of you. You killed me. Every action I take, every person I kill, will be because of you. You made me the way I am." Willow could barely keep her focus on Buffy she had started to sob so much. Buffy pulled back a hand and Willow looked up only to find Buffy's nails crashing down against her cheek. Blood started to bubble up and Buffy switched her face to its demonic form. Making sure Willow could see, she slowly moved in and licked up a harsh line from the side of her mouth to the dip in her temple, letting the sweet and delicious tasting blood glide against her tongue. She swallowed and her eyes rolled back in her head as she felt the pleasurable rush of the human blood hit her system. It was like an adrenaline rush in itself, electricity pouring from her throat to her body. She smiled and leaned further down to whisper into Willow's ear. "Thank you."

Quick as she could she popped away from her sire and ran over to Spike who opened the door an followed her out, swallowing down any dirty thoughts he had swimming around after witnessing that scene. This wasn't going to be so bad after all.

But that also meant Buffy tasted human blood.

And she would be hungry.

Soon.

* * *

They both arrived at the Initiative and crawled beneath the ground together. Buffy took a moment to take in the dark surroundings and Spike made sure the door was completely closed against any others. It looked like the Initiative, just broken down. No one had fixed it after that fight. Government work at its best, just leaving it around. Still, that was why she had brought him there in the first place. But then he changed his mind.

"Why are we here Spike?"

"They're going to look for us at my crypt. Figure they wouldn't bother checking here."

"That's not what I mean. Why are you here? I sure as hell wasn't about to let them kill me but why didn't you?"

"Do you really even need to ask that question?"

"Well you're the one who turned me in."

"I thought they could help you Buffy."

"Why would I want help from them? After all they've done to me?"

"I've heard this song love." With a sigh Spike stopped their aimless walking and leaned up against a rail that overlooked the area he was experimented on. "I just- I wanted to give you your best chance."

Buffy growled, more to herself than to Spike. She had been so mad at him and just like that she changed her mind. Didn't mean she wasn't still a bit annoyed. She could never actually tell what he was thinking. "I don't see you lining up for the soul patrol."

"I have the chip."

She smirked at his defensive behavior as he jumped onto the rail and sat on it, paying no mind to the large drop if he happened to fall. "I'm a vampire. I know that just cus you can't kill anyone doesn't mean you don't want to."

"Well I care. Slayer I… I was never gonna let them hurt you."

"Just cus you care doesn't mean you have a soul either."

"No. Guess not."

His pathetic tone had her sighing to herself yet again. When did she start feeling bad about it? "Look, I'm not going to be who I was. But I'm still me. I'm still Buffy Summers, the girl that can kick your ass to hell and back." That got him to crack a genuine smile. "I do care. I just care about different things."

"What do you care about?"

"Well…" She leaned onto the rail he sat on and slid towards him contemplating the answer to that question. She was indifferent to a lot of things. But what did she care about? "Honestly avenging my death and everything else. Willow's blood just felt so…" She trailed off as the memory had her eyes rolling back into her scull with desire, again.

"Look at your face. You gonna start swinging for her team?"

"Shut up."

"Don't knock it till you try it." Buffy swung at him playfully but he jerked away before she could hit him and send him over the edge. He gave an exaggerated glance down. "Careful slayer. Wouldn't want to damage this pretty face of mine."

"Pretty face? Is that what we're calling it?"

"Hey now. I'm a regular James Dean."

"Who the hell is James Dean?"

"Never mind," Spike chuckled a bit to himself as he dug a cigarette out from his pockets and lit it in his mouth. "Before your time."

Buffy chuckled at him as he handed her a cigarette and she started to take a drag. She started to think about his question again. What else did she care about? Revenge seemed to be the only thought on her mind, after getting blood which she knew would have to wait the night or the Scooby gang would be following the screams. Funny how she could call them that and not picture herself in the group. It was refreshing.

"Something interesting?" Spike asked as he watched the smoke from Buffy's cig spiral into the air for moments longer than it should.

"What?" He gave a lazy point in the direction she had been looking. "Oh." She spiraled back around on the railing and took another pull from the death stick between her fingers. Well, death wasn't really a thing for her anymore. After getting used to smoking she could actually start to see why others did it. "Just thinking. Blood, revenge."

"Ah," Spike noticed how Buffy had moved to stand directly beside him, the side of her arm leaning against his thigh. "It's the equivalent of porn and masturbation for them teenage boys. Always at the forefront of the mind." She let her head fall back a bit as he poked her in between the eyes before jumping from his spot on the rail.

"Yeah."

"That it then?" Spike asked as he turned to the wall in front of her, leaning up with a foot flat against it. The hallway was much smaller than he though. His leg bent like that had him almost grazing her. She looked a bit trapped between his legs. Wasn't a bad thought actually.

"What?"

"Revenge and blood? All you care about?" He scoffed and rolled his eyes in her direction before muttering to the ground sarcastically. "What a true blue vamp you are."

"Hey, you care about that too."

"It's not all I care about. I guess I'm just more rounded than you." He over exaggerated a sympathetic face before throwing what was left of his cigarette to the ground and putting it out with his foot. "Pity."

"Well it's not _all_ I care about." She didn't really understand why she was defensive about it. Spike's opinion couldn't have mattered to her, shouldn't have mattered. Why did it?

"Well you know what I have." He leaned in towards her and brushed away a small piece of hair that had flown into her face, making it obvious what they both already know. He heard her swallow and smiled to himself, leaning over to rest a hand on the rail behind her and invade as much of her personal space as possible. "What else for you then?"

Buffy turned her face a bit and took another long drag from her cigarette to buy her time. Something about Spike being so close was making that answer hard to come up. She blew the smoke in his face and started doing what she always did, ramble. "And…well…you know…and um…..you-" A noise caught both of their attention as one of the doors on their floor slammed open and many guns started to click in their direction. Light started too pool in and Buffy had to squint to try and see. "Who are you?"

"Miss Summers." A man in the middle of the group spoke up and she could start to see the uniforms they all wore, camouflage. "Agent Finn reported that you tried to contact him earlier today."

Buffy smiled, trying to keep in a laugh as she whispered to Spike, the other man hearing her, "Flower shop my ass." She also threw her cigarette behind her and rubbed it out with the bottom of her boot.

"He indicated you might be needing our assistance. We are to provide you anything you need to help assface over here." Spike gave her a confused look and they both looked at him for an explanation. "Those were his exact words ma'am."

"I always hated that guy." Spike mumbled to her, not really sure it would be good to say that to the uniformed men with guns pointed at him.

"Yeah well he needs help with his chip." She looked around the group of men, hunger starting to scratch at her after seeing her first humans, but she was still wary of how horrible a bullet wound would feel. This was too perfect though. She didn't expect them to actually show up here. Especially not after that phone call. "You got a guy for that?"

"Yeah. Agent Linn."

"This way." Agent Linn walked out in front of the group and the soldiers all got into line. He started to talk and lead them towards the medical bay. "What seems to be the problem?"

"It's hurting him." Buffy looked at Spike, having thought up the lie as part of her original plan. They didn't exactly need the Initiative on their ass about him getting the chip out simply because she asked.

"That is the point of the chip. When he tries to attack humans a wave of pain-"

"Yeah, yeah I know what it does."

"So do I." Agent Linn said, taken aback at her abrupt attitude.

"I mean-" She tried to apologize with a smile but she just really hated doing that. "I mean that it started doing that when attacking demons. He helps me in patrols, kills vamps and all other things that go bump in the night. His chip started activating when helping me. I need him."

"Ah, I see. I suppose that was always a risk of happening. We never tested for that as we never thought a demon would attack its own kind-"

"Yeah, yeah I get enough of that from the vamps, don't need it from you." Spike chimed in as they entered a medical room that still looked pretty intact. The agent was carrying a briefcase though, so the real things were probably in there. None of this dusty stuff. Or so he hoped. They weren't exactly known for their compassion towards vamps.

"Well you have an option." Linn said to Buffy and turned to the man who had been doing the talking before. "Captain?"

"Agent Finn said all decisions regarding hostile 17 are to go through you." He nodded at Buffy, barely regarding Spike. "You have the option to repair the chip or remove it. It's your call."

"Remove it." Buffy replied, almost a bit too quickly.

"You will be responsible for all his actions beyond this point."

"Yes I will." She smiled at her own hidden double meaning.

"Alright." The Captain nodded and faced the other agent. "Linn."

"Just hop into the chair and I'll get started." Linn walked into the room and began laying things out for surgery.

Spike followed him in, a bit apprehensive. He never liked hospitals and he sure as hell didn't like this place. Still, he jumped into the chair and settled in, preparing himself for what would happen next. It would be bloody brilliant after, the fighting, the getting to drink human blood, the lack of migraines, but brain surgery wasn't something he rather liked the idea of.

Buffy walked over to him and put a hand on his arm, leaning in to whisper in his ear. "I'll be right here. Don't kill anyone when you come out."

"Got it love." He nodded and leaned back further, looking up into the light Linn had turned on.

"You're okay with this?" Buffy asked, thrown a bit by his readiness. He had literally been fighting tooth and nail not to do it before. She just wanted to make sure he had no doubts. She had to trust him.

"If I can't have you any other way…" He looked over at her and closed his eyes, turning his head back towards the light. "If you can't beat 'em, join 'em, eh?"

"Okay." Linn walked over with a needle in his hand and Buffy moved out of the way. "Alright, you'll fell a small pinch and then count back from ten." He inserted the needle into Spike's arm and pushed the liquid through.

"Ten, nine, eight, se…." Spike's counting drifted off and his head fell completely to the side.

"He's out." Linn turned to Buffy and nodded at the door, readjusting his gloves, and moving towards his tools. "You can wait outside."

Buffy nodded and left, making sure to stick right by the door so she could hear anything they had to whisper. No funny business was going to happen on her watch.

* * *

"Giles what just happened?" Tara came running down the stairs and jumped over the older man's limp form, his eyes just starting to open. "Giles?"

"What happened?!" Dawn screamed as she looked at the room around her. Things were broken, people were hurt and bleed, and Spike and Buffy were gone.

"Dawn-" Willow started as she sat up, trying to ignore the pain in her shoulder and face. She couldn't even think about Buffy licking the blood from her. It was just too sick. And the things she said...they were true. They were all true. But now wasn't the time to go through them.

"Where is she?" Dawn continued, frantically. "Did you-" She looked at the pile of chains, unsure if she was imaging that pile of ash. "Tell me you didn't-"

"No." Willow walked to the staircase where Dawn was stuck panicking. A panic attack wouldn't help anybody. "She got away. She's-"

"She's dead." Xander said from across the room as Anya helped him up.

"Xander-"

"No. There's no point in jumping around the fact that Buffy is gone. She died when she jumped off that tower. We brought her back dead." He looked around the room, taking a moment more to look at Willow and the scratches on her cheek. He had seen what had happened and thought of bringing it up to prove his point more but knew it wasn't the right time. "Spike was right. It's our fault."

"No. It's my fault. I did the spell. I brought her back. I sired her. It's me. I'm sorry." She turned to Dawn, the tears already springing back up. "I'm so, so sorry."

"There's nothing to be done about it now." Giles said weakly from the bottom of the stairs. Tara had managed to help him lean against the wall but he still needed to hold his head in his hands. "Magic will not work on her. You heard Spike, she hasn't killed yet but she will."

"What if we reason with her? Maybe she'll want to fight the good fight." Dawn walked down the stairs to try and get everyone to listen to her. "Like Spike? Maybe we could get a chip in her head or something."

"I wouldn't put all my faith into the maybes." Giles replied with a wince as he felt the spot Spike had hit him. He really should have seen that coming.

"But there is a chance right? What if we take her? Keep her in the basement? We could prevent her from killing and figure it out from there."

"She'll hate us." Anya said as she helped Xander into a chair. Apparently Buffy got him good enough for some pretty major bruising.

"I'd rather have her hate us alive than hate us dead." Dawn replied back, her temper already flaring. The fact that they even discussed killing her sister was enough to send her over the edge. What else had she missed when in her room?

"She's not alive though." Giles said again, his spot on the floor making it hard for him to be heard. "Not really."

"It doesn't matter." Willow said with resolution as Tara came to check on her cheek. "We have to fix this. I have to fix this."

"What happened?" Tara asked but Willow just gave her a sad shake of the head and she let it go for another time when they were alone.

"Come on." Xander nodded towards the weapons cabinet and started to pull himself up, ignoring the pain he felt in doing so. "They'll probably be headed to the crypt. Spike will need blood if they plan on going anywhere."

Everyone started to get up, Giles taking the longest. He looked at Dawn and at the messy house and spoke again. "Dawn, you'll have to come. We don't know what's on her mind. She's not the Buffy you knew. None of us are safe."

Dawn nodded, not because she agreed but because she wanted to go. If she could just talk to Buffy alone, she could get her to see. She knew she could. They had to help her. There had to be a way. There just had to.

* * *

Buffy continued to watch the door as she heard the medical agent doing his thing. It was a bit interesting and even a bit gross to hear his instruments cutting open Spike's scull. She kind of wanted to see it happening but really needed some time to herself and needed to make sure none of the other army kids were going to do anything stupid. They were mostly annoying her with their untouchable human blood pumping around. She couldn't kill them though. It would cause difficulties.

She took a moment to wonder about the others, the humans. They were all bruised and broken and beaten in so many ways. Of course she had so much more planned for them. That was barely a taste.

Willow's face was the best of all. Absolute perfection in the devastating amount of guilt she sent her way. It would surprise her if she didn't kill herself over it. Good thing Tara was there to stop anything like that. She wouldn't get to have her fun. Though it would be one hell of a laugh.

Fun she would have. Soon. So very, very soon.

And what the fuck was that kiss about? Why was she even letting it enter her mind?

Revenge. Blood. That's it. That's all she wanted to think about.

Revenge and blood. Blood and revenge. Revenge and why the hell did he do that to her?


	10. Underground Plans

**Previously in _Red Roses_:** After Buffy offered to take the chip out of Spike's head so they could take the world together, Spike realized just how bad things had gotten and after a fist to fist fight that ended in Buffy almost staking him, he told the Scooby gang exactly what had been going on. Held captive, Buffy taunts her former friends and shows them what they've truly done to her by bringing her back. Willow attempts to do the spell to put Buffy's soul back in its place but it doesn't work. Giles explains that no magic will work on Buffy, she is immune, and that they have very few options. Everyone becomes hysterical as Buffy's death is mentioned and most have to leave the room, all but Spike, Giles, and the tied up Buffy. Spike guards her like a dog as Giles tries to explain their loss of hope. It isn't clear if he will actually kill her or not but that seems like what he's going to do. The decision is made for him when Spike offers to do the killing himself, knowing how to make it as painless as possible. Giles gives in and hands the stake over only to be fooled by the two as Spike slips off Buffy's chains during a distracting kiss and he is attacked from behind. The rest of the crew from the kitchen, Anya, Willow, and Xander, all try to reason with the two vamps but Buffy wants none of it. She attacks them all and in a futile attempt, already drained of her power, Willow attempts a simple levitation spell. Buffy isn't affected and instead attacks, spitting accusations at her sire and getting her first taste of human blood from her cheek. Together Spike and Buffy run away where she takes him to get his chip out as she explains how she has changed and he explains how he'll remain true to her cause. Concern washes over everyone as Buffy waits for Spike's chip to be out and the Scooby gang try to find the vamps before they decide to kill or hurt anyone else.

* * *

"They're not here." Xander called out from inside the dark of Spike's crypt. Everyone else started to funnel through the door, every other with a flashlight in their hand.

"Check downstairs." Dawn said quietly, her arms wrapped tight around her body to keep out the cold and to keep her standing. She could have mentioned how to turn on the lights but she didn't feel much like helping at the moment.

"Downstairs?" Xander asked with a bit of a cartoonish look as he swept the light across the ground. He didn't see any downstairs.

"Yeah." Dawn moved in slowly and stood over the spot where the trap door was hidden. "Spike never let me down there but there's a ladder right under there."

"Alright." Xander shot everyone a worried look, stuffing his stake into his back pocket and checking his holy water, as he uncovered the ladder and climbed his way down. "Buffy? Spike?" Anya followed him down and they both called out together. "Spike? Buffy?"

"Buffy? Evil vampire Buffy?" Anya's calling was cut out by a small mumbled argument between the two before; "Fine. Buffy who we totally know is a vampire but are not going to say is evil yet? You here?"

Xander's sigh of frustration could be heard but he just called up instead; "I don't think they're here."

Everyone on the top floor looked at each other with grim smiles before climbing down after the couple and joining them on the lower level.

"Whoa." Tara ran a hand over the giant bed and the drapes that matched the comforter. "When did Spike get all of this?"

"Well he planned to move in permanently." Xander said bitterly as he opened the fridge and found the blood left behind. "That's pretty obvious. And look, blood. They haven't come back here."

"Maybe they knew we'd be coming." Willow said looking out at the stone wall, not really concentrating on anything. She had been that way ever since leaving the house. Occasionally she would run a hand over her cheek but the stinging from her cuts only seemed to make it worse.

"What if he's lying?" Xander slammed the fridge door behind him as he leaned on the bar and faced the rest of the group. "What if Buffy was human when we brought her back and he somehow changed her but made it look like we did it? Blamed us so she would be mad at us and go to him? Makes sense doesn't it?"

"I don't know Xander." Tara shook her head as she subtly ran a hand up Willow's back to try and soothe her. It killed her that nothing was working but they would have their time. Buffy was what was important now. "Buffy was acting weird right off the bat."

"Yeah." Dawn leaned against the stone and mumbled when everyone started to look at her. "Actually…well…she…"

"What?"

"When I was cleaning her up…after she….when she came back. Well…I cut my finger and she…kinda…kinda…"

"What?" Xander asked a bit more forcefully.

"Well freaked out a bit?" Dawn's voice rose as she knew she was only promoting the idea of her sister being, well, wrong, but it was true and it wasn't Spike's fault. "She didn't say anything but she had a look and…I don't know. But Spike hadn't seen her before then!"

"We don't know that!" Xander continued to argue his side. "He could have been there right after she crawled out and changed her before any of us seen him."

"I was with him the entire time!" Dawn continued to raise her voice as her heart started to pound louder. Pretty soon it was the only thing she could hear, just the pounding in her ears, so loud, it was almost echoing off the walls with her screams. "He couldn't have! He was protecting me from the demons then I ran away and found Buffy myself!"

"Why do you keep defending him?!"

"Because it's true!" Dawn turned to the rest of the people in the room, all keeping their mouths shut for their own reasons. Well they should have been talking. They should have been defending him with her. "Spike has done nothing but try to help us. _We_ did this to her!"

"Dawn you had nothing to do with it." Tara tried to comfort from a distance, already knowing the teen wouldn't understand.

"I wanted her back just as much as you guys did."

"It's still us that brought her back." Willow spoke to the wall as she watched a drop of water wind its way through the cracks towards the ground. "It was me. I did the spell. It was all me. God Giles, what are we gonna do?"

"I'll tell you what we're gonna do." Xander interrupted before Giles even got a chance to open his mouth. It was just as well. He had a look mirroring Willow's and everyone had been pointedly ignoring him since the living room. They all knew he was willing to kill her and none of them were willing to forgive him for it. "We're gonna build a nice little vamp cage and we'll lock both of them up. No need for Spike to play the big hero and mess things up. Willow, you and Tara can do a tracker spell right?"

"Sure-"

"So go to the Magic shop with Anya and get what you need, including the stuff for the cage. Take Dawn with you too. Giles and I will keep patrolling." Everyone nodded along with Xander, all ignoring the biting tone he had towards the elder in the room.

"Okay." Willow responded as she snapped herself out of her staring contest, now having something prosperous to do, and turned towards the man they were all so furious with. Deep down she knew what he tried to do but she couldn't really process it and he was still always the one to go to for a plan. "Sound good Giles?"

"It sounds like the only plan we have." Giles nodded but the others were already leaving without hearing his answer. Xander and Dawn were up the steps, Tara helping Willow reach the top, but Giles waited and whispered to the last of the group. "Anya, a word?" She looked up the steps and back at Giles with a curious stare before taking herself over to him and pointing the flashlight between the two of them. Giles continued to murmur to her when she was within range. "At the back of the shop, up the stairs, I told you about those books correct?"

"The restricted section." Anya nodded along, remembering her lessons in taking over the Magic Box. "Yes I remember."

"There is a book there that may help. I don't want Willow or Tara to know about it."

"But Giles, doesn't restricted mean _no touchy_?"

"You're the only one to touch." Giles brought out a tiny scrap of paper and placed it in her hand before continuing. "_Chthonic_ _Gods: Spells From Below_." Anya checked and that was what the paper had written down on it. "Don't let the other girls know and bring it to me when you can."

"I thought magic wouldn't work on her."

Giles gave a tight lipped smile in appreciation for her logic and ability to keep up. While Anya was an odd one he could always count on her to be smart and understanding. "We used gypsy magic. The same magic used on Angel. It works on most but not those who've been touched by...well, this magic is not so…light."

"Dark magic?" Anya's eyes widened at the thought. She had used magic enough times in her life to know the cost Giles was talking about. She had seen what dark magic could do and it was never a pretty sight.

"Hence why the other girls must never know about it. Dark magic brought her back, dark magic will work. Willow has seen enough dark magic though. I will be the one to handle it."

"Alright." Anya nodded and slipped the paper in her pocket. Ideas were already streaming through her mind. If dark magic worked, there could be a way to help Buffy after all. Of course the other girls couldn't know about it. Anya had seen what a bit of dark magic did to Willow already, Tara was too weak to handle it. Giles would be able to and maybe even she could help. It wouldn't exactly be her first time. "If you're sure."

"I am."

With a nod they both headed back up the ladder where the others were waiting for them.

"What was that about?" Xander asked with arms crossed and an accusing glare sent towards Giles.

"Me." Anya said with a bit of a fake smile. She was never a very good liar to Xander, she always told the truth all the time no matter how many people asked her to stop, and lying to him just seemed wrong. Married couples weren't meant to lie, but they weren't exactly married yet. "I had to make sure that whatever we use from the shop I get compensated for. I'm willing to help Buffy but I still run a business." Everyone gave her the usual looks of disappointment for her caring of money over people but at least they brushed it off. Anya knew that the lie was for the opposite reason, it was to help Buffy. Plus, she really did want to know she was going to get compensated. She didn't get a chance to ask though.

"Giles," Willow started. "After we get her in the cage, should we send for the council or-"

"No. They will kill her in a heartbeat."

"Weren't you going to do that Giles?" Xander asked, his arms crossing over his chest. "What's stopping you?"

"Nothing." Giles answered sharply, everyone snapping their gaze back to him, most of them glaring. "She has not killed yet but she will if she hasn't already. If she attacks, I will not hesitate to put her down. Buffy never would have wanted this."

"So she would want to be killed?" Dawn yelled back feeling her blood already start to boil again.

"She wouldn't want to be drinking the blood of the innocent." Giles tried to sound semi-comforting but he knew he was failing.

"So what happens if we do catch her?" Xander asked, his anger never leaving his tone. "Are you going to kill her before we can find a way to help her?"

"If we manage to catch her alive I will provide help in your research but I will tell you now that I do not have very high hopes. I do not see her coming out of this alive."

"Great to know where you stand Giles." Dawn spat out as she stomped off towards the door to get out into the cold night air. She really needed to cool off.

"Dawn-"

"No!" She spun on her heels forgetting any restraint she might have had. "That's my sister. Soul or no soul, vampire or not. She's my sister!"

"It's alright Dawn." Xander assured her as he stepped in front of Giles, cutting him off from her view completely. "We'll find a way to get her back."

"Oh my god." Willow whispered out at the chair she had been staring at and everyone turned to see what she was looking at.

"What Willow?" Tara asked, keeping up the circles on her girlfriend's back.

"Angel! Maybe he can help."

"So we're going to bring another vamp into this?" Xander scoffed but no one seemed to agree with him. He looked around the room waiting for someone to say something. "Does no one else see that as a bad idea?"

"Xander, he's had his soul taken away." Willow nodded along with her idea, building up its momentum in her mind. "He knows best what she's going through. Maybe he knows a way to help. He has his own investigations team, maybe they could even help."

Giles spoke before Xander coul again, "Let's hold off on getting Angel wrapped into this-"

"But Giles-"

"Or do you forget how he feels about Buffy as well? Look at what Spike just did. He helped her escape all because of his feelings for Buffy. Angel would do the exact same thing. If they believe any part of her has a chance of resurfacing-"

"Alright. We'll wait till we have her at least. Yeah?" Everyone but Giles nodded along with her but he at least didn't disagree straight away.

"Let's split up." Xander commanded, putting the team back into the situation at hand. "Meet you guys back at the Magic Box. Stay safe."

"You too." Anya called back to him as they exited the crypt and started the walk back to the shop, flashlights held high, stakes silently places in back pockets, and holy water stuffed in every front pocket with the hope of a fast getaway if she decided to come back.

"Come on Giles." Xander held open the door and pointed towards town. "Let's go find an undead rouge half-slayer half-vamp that hates us."

"Wonderful."

* * *

"How do you feel?" Buffy leaned over Spike's body in the chair, a hand holding onto his upper arms, digging her nails in to prevent her from attacking the humans surrounding them. It had only been an hour or two but she was losing all sense of self control as the blood rushed around her. It was all she could think of after a while and when they came to tell her he was done with surgery, she almost bit out the doctor's throat.

"Like I had someone touching my brain." He groaned at the light above his head and held his free hand over his forehead, feeling around for any cuts. There was a ghostly feeling inside his scull where he knew the human had touched him. He could almost smell it. "It's all…not right."

"Other than that?"

"Oh," His eyes darted down where he felt her hand wrapping around his wrist. "Fine."

"Okay." She quickly released his arm and spun around to face the agent that had removed the chip. The small device was now sitting in a tiny metal bowl on the small table by the chair. It seemed so tiny for causing so much pain. "Thank you."

"Yes Miss Summers." He nodded and turned to the man in charge who nodded at her.

"Watch him." He pointed at Spike and then made a gesture to round up everyone else he had brought along. "Everyone, out!"

"So, what do we do now?" Spike pushed himself into a sitting position and closed his eyes as the humans left the room. He was a bit dizzy from the anesthetic they gave him but it wasn't enough to prevent him from feeling the change. There was still the usual pain he felt as a vampire with no teeth, the usual headache and throat pain that he had learned to live with. But now he had the knowledge that he could fix it. His demon was free and was rearing at the chance to get out there and run. The lingering smell of the human blood wasn't helping.

With a wicked smirk Buffy leaned over towards Spike and sniffed the air. "I don't know about you but I could really use some human blood."

"You sure you want to go out tonight? Scoobies will be out looking for us."

"Oh you're just a big baby." She pulled back with a laugh, backing up towards the door, mocking him as she did. "Scared of your chip going off?"

"Well you're not the one who's had their head explode every time they punch in the wrong direction."

"Well if we're gonna meet Angel, I'm gonna need-"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa." He stopped in his tracks making her have to turn back to face him. "We're doing what now?!"

"Meeting Angel." She replied calmly, with a smile and everything.

"Why?! Why the bloody hell are we meeting that Neanderthal?"

"He called me. He thinks I'm alive." She groaned to herself knowing this wasn't going to be easy. Getting Spike on her side had been complicated enough. She wasn't even fully sure he was on her side all the way. He would do anything for her but that didn't mean he'd do anything she said. Turning her over to the humans was a low blow but getting the chip out seemed to change his mind. Well, she would see after she got him to agree to Angelus. "Besides, we're going to need him."

"_Need_ him?" He scoffed at the air, refusing to move until she took it back. "For what?"

"I told you what I care about."

"Revenge. Right. Got a plan then?"

"It sounds so simple when you say it like that."

"Well if you want to pop 'em off we can go do that now." Cracking his knuckled he smirked and nodded towards the ceiling where the humans were probably out looking for them now. "We'll team up, take them down together."

Buffy looked towards the ceiling as well. The idea was tempting but it wasn't in the plan. Killing them would thrill her for the moment but it wouldn't sustain her. "No. Not good enough. I don't mean just them either. I have my sights set a little higher."

"Alright. Well I'm fully behind you there." He'd had plans to burn the world before. They didn't pan out but that was her fault. Maybe with her by his side, it wouldn't be so unattainable. "What exactly did you have in mind?"

"Angel. We'll use him."

"And how are we going about using the great ponce? He's not gonna like the whole dead thing you've got going on. He's not exactly going to come skipping with lilacs in his hair."

"No. He's not." She turned back to the dark of the hall and led their way out of the building, Spike fighting her every step of the way. "That's why we need his soul gone."

He stopped completely again and she kept walking so he had to call up to her with his disgust. "You're not gonna sleep with him are you?"

"God no." She gagged and he jogged to catch up, only to stop straight yet again. "That's where you come in."

"What?! You're not expecting _me_ to sleep with him are you?!"

"As entertaining as that thought is, no." She chuckled at his look and continued to walk to the surface. "Magic took the soul out the first time, we can use it again."

"How? The only witch we know-"

"You don't know a single witch? In your old age."

"Hey-" He pouted. "I am not old."

"Yes you're very spry for a hundred something." She nodded sarcastically as she watched the mice scatter at her feet wondering only momentarily how they got into the base in the first place. Did mice live underground?

"Well why do we need him? We can take him down, kill him ourselves. Killing vamps is fun too."

"We need him." Her tone suggested she was done arguing but he was still Spike.

"But why?"

"I said death wasn't good enough for my friends." She was sure to put as much sarcasm as she could into the word 'friends'. She really needed to find something else to call them. "They need to pay."

"Well I can help with that. Always wanted to lay one in on the whelp. Done a good bit of torture in my days. They don't call me Spike for nothing."

"And who did you learn from?"

"Oh please, Angelus didn't teach me nothing. I did it all on my own."

"Sure you did." Buffy chuckled at his childlike behavior before leading them both down the last tunnel. "Well Angelus has a certain flare that I'm looking for. I was on the receiving end once before. I want that."

"I can do that." He mumbled pathetically like a kid watching his girl swoon over the local jock.

"Spike just stop arguing. You'll get to play too. Okay?" She felt like she really was talking to a kid as she opened up the hatch to the outside world and jumped out, listening to Spike climb out behind her as she sniffed the air and allowed her eyes to roam over the city lights below. They wouldn't have long left in the night before the sun would start to rise and they needed to get out of town before it did.

"Um Buffy-" Spike came up behind her as she started walking into town again, intent on following her nose and getting a real meal for once. "It's- Well Dawn had nothing to do with you being pulled back you know? She and I didn't know a think about it. She was-"

"Just as clueless as ever. I know. She's not a part of this. I don't wish to kill her. I don't exactly want her alive though. Don't worry. I have plans for her," She cheerfully stated as they found the clearest path into the trees.

"Do you really think she'll let you change her?" He didn't really like the idea too much. Dawn had clearly grown on him and while eternal life had its perks, there was a reason he hadn't suggested it sooner. It was Buffy's plan though and if it meant Dawn got to avoid the torture that she had in store for the others, then maybe it was for the best. Buffy would get her way no matter what and he wasn't in the mood to argue just after having turned her in to the humans. He was more in the mood to eat for the first time in far, far too long.

"When I'm done, I'm sure she'll be begging for it."

"I thought you said you wouldn't hurt her."

"Not physically. Hence, Angel."

"Angelus is a real ass you know."

"I'm aware." She laughed again at his stupid behavior as she continued to weave in and out of trees. "You two will just have to play nice for a while. Once they're all out of the way, I have something else in mind."

Clearing the trees they both looked out at the small field separating them from the people walking by. A look was shared between them before they both darted off at vampiric speed, chasing the closest source of grub; The Bronze.


	11. Who Do You Want To Be Your First?

The girls reached the shop without any surprise attacks and set to work immediately. Dawn hung around the table as Tara and Willow got the supplies and Anya waited to grab the book Giles asked for.

Tara had left to check on Dawn but when she came back she found Willow curled up on the floor with her hands clutching at her hair and sobs wracking her body. "Willow? Baby, what's wrong?" She ran over and scooped her into her arms, Willow automatically falling into the embrace with her head resting on Tara's shoulder.

It was all Willow could do not to break down at the house, on the way to the crypt, or on the walk to the shop. Standing there and actually thinking about why she was getting a tracking spell together was what did it. She couldn't find it in her knees to stand anymore and once she let one tear through, the rest just kept coming. She started rocking, just like she did when she realized her spell to get Buffy's soul went wrong. Of course it went wrong. She couldn't do anything right lately. She sobbed even harder when the salty tears ran down her cheek and made the cut sting. She could still feel Buffy's tongue sliding over her face, her vampire eyes drilling into her, telling her the truth. This was all her fault.

"I thought I was saving her. I thought I was helping. I thought she was in hell. I thought she'd want to be taken out."

"You didn't know." Tara pushed the hair out of Willow's face and rocked with her body, keeping a tight grip and willing the others to stay back for a time.

"It doesn't make it any better. I was so sure but really I was selfish. I just wanted her back."

"We all did. It wasn't just you."

"But I didn't even consider…I didn't even think…"

"I know." She kissed the top of her head and tried to calm her more but Willow just kept sobbing. "None of us did."

What she wouldn't do to take the guilt away. She hated to see Willow so broken and she knew there wasn't a way to pick up the pieces. Only helping Buffy would help Willow and that meant getting the spell done. But she couldn't have Willow doing magic in this state. She couldn't even begin to think of what would happen if they couldn't help her at all. Willow needed to come out of this unbroken and she would be by her side, hold her hand, and tell her it would be alright like she always did. She would be there for her till the end.

Dawn moved towards the sound of the sobbing, intent on asking Willow if she was alright, but as soon as she saw her there she couldn't find the words. She didn't really know who to blame and everyone seemed like a good target. Willow did say it though, she was the one who did the spell. Maybe it really was all her fault.

"Dawn?" Tara called out to the still figure as Willow wiped the tears from her face. "How are you holding up?"

"My sister is a vampire without a soul and someone I trusted tried to kill her today. How do you think?"

"Giles was just trying to help." Tara tried to defend him but really she wasn't in the room. The two of them only heard about this through the accusations of the others and what they heard through the walls. She just didn't want everyone turning on each other.

"By driving a stake through her heart?" Dawn looked around at the other girls as Anya came away from behind the counter and walked towards them. "It's not like any of you did anything either," she continued to accuse them all.

"What were we supposed to do Dawn?"

"I don't know. Magic out! Make it work! Not let him kill her! What did you do to try and stop him?"

"I was drained okay." Willow used Tara to sit up taller, still not ready to stand. "Trying to reach her soul took the magic out of me and I didn't have much power left."

"You could have-"

"She was in shock Dawn." Tara cut her off and wrapped an arm over her love. "She still is."

"Yeah and you were holding me back in my room. If I was there I could have stopped him. I could have convinced her to stay."

"Buffy doesn't have a soul Dawn." Anya stated as she walked into view of the girls on the ground. "She wouldn't listen to you. She doesn't care."

"And how do you know that Anya? You ever lose your soul? You don't know."

"I was a demon myself for a very long time. The demon takes you over. I didn't lose mine but in the same way but..."

"Still don't have one." Dawn spat at her, too mad at everyone to control what she was actually saying. "I still could have done something. I can't believe Xander just let Giles-"

"Xander wasn't going to let Buffy die." Willow defended her long-term friend as Dawn's rampage continued.

"Then why did he pull you away? Why did he leave the room?"

"Because he saw Spike." Anya spoke for Willow. "Spike told Xander and I that he would never let anything happen to Buffy as long as a tiny bit of her was left. Like Giles said, he wasn't going to let anything happen to her."

"And Xander just knew that? Cus he would just trust Spike."

"Yes actually. He did." Anya wasn't sure if that was really trust that allowed Xander to leave Spike as the barrier between Buffy and Giles but if it made Dawn believe Xander didn't want Buffy dead then fine. It was true though, they all knew, every one of them, that as long as Spike was there to do something about it Buffy wouldn't be in any harm.

In a moment of silence Dawn calmed herself down and sunk to the ground with the other girls, wrapping her arms around her knees. "Spike was the one to help her. One of us should have helped him. I should have been there."

"Spike had been helping her already. He was the only one to know. But know we know and we are too." Tara said as Anya decided to join them on the ground, for the sake of it if nothing else.

"By trapping her?" Dawn banged her head against the frame and closed her eyes, willing herself to wake up from this nightmare. She just wanted to be home with her sister, watching movies and eating popcorn. She didn't want any of this. She didn't want to make these decisions.

"It's better than what Spike's did." Anya said thinking of all the possibilities. "Vampires running off together. He'll do anything she wants too. God knows what they're doing."

"He still has the chip though." Tara said, sitting up straighter and leaning against the shelves at a better position. "It's not like he can hurt anyone."

"No, but she can." Willow spoke while running her hands through her hair to get it back into place as her puffy eyes adjusted. "Giles was right. She will if she gets the chance." Guilt slammed into her and Tara was right back there again to run a hand down her arm and weave their fingers together, being her rock like always.

"Maybe Spike won't let her." Dawn said watching the couple across the room. Buffy would be the one to comfort her. Not that everyone else wouldn't try but Buffy was always best at it.

"How is he going to stop her?" Willow spoke up again, some anger starting to fuel her words. She couldn't help remembering the accusations Spike threw at her in the Summers house. He knew then, he knew all along and he didn't say anything. Dawn was making him out to be much more innocent than he was. Willow knew his dark side better than her. Dawn didn't even exist when Spike had threatened her life the first time, or the second, or the third, or...well it happened a lot. Dawn only saw the chipped side of him, she didn't know. "Look I know you and Spike grew close but he's still a vampire. He's still a demon. We are better help to her than he is. We'll find her and we'll find a way. There has to be some of her left. She's not gone. I mean…she didn't eat us after all."

"She wanted to. She licked you."

"Not helping Anya."

"Just saying."

"So let's move on and figure out where to put her when we find her." Willow suggested as they all moved a bit closer and prepared themselves for a thinking session. "For all we know the boys may get lucky."

"Well we do have the basement." Dawn suggested. "The plumber is fixing it tomorrow so it won't be flooded."

"What will we keep her with?" Anya asked. "And Spike. I think we should assume we should lock him up too."

"Yeah he's more punch first, ask questions later." Willow agreed. "He won't listen to us until we have something to fix Buffy."

"Okay so basement?" Tara asked.

"Basement." Willow nodded in thought. "I'm sure we have chains and things but will that hold her? She got out of the ones from earlier."

"With Spike's help." Anya reminded.

"She could probably do it too. Think of what Giles said. She's a slayer and a vampire. That strength combined has to be brutal."

"Alright so maybe not the basement." Dawn said while thinking. "Where else does the sun not shine?"

"Underground?" Tara suggested. "Sewers?"

"Ew." Dawn crinkled her nose in disagreement. "I don't think it's better than the basement though. What happens if they get loose? They could go anywhere."

"Caves?" Anya jumped at her thought. "Don't we have some of those in the desert or something?"

"That might be good." Tara agreed. "The sun would keep them inside."

"How do we keep them in a cave?" Dawn asked.

"Well that's what we're here to research." Willow nodded towards the other half of the store where they would probably be if it wasn't for her sobbing in the corner.

"I wish there was something else closer." Dawn grumbled. "Not to be picky but sleeping in a cave doesn't exactly sound fun."

"Well I don't think there's anything else." Willow said, thinking out loud. "I mean the only thing that kept Spike locked up was- Oh my god."

"What?" Tara asked as Willow leapt up with excitement at whatever idea she came up with.

"The Initiative! Do you think their cells would work still?"

"Maybe." Anya said, mostly doubtful. "If we could turn the power back on. And if they're not damaged."

"It kept Spike in there before, maybe we could use them?" Willow asked the room excitedly and no one had any other reason to object.

"The boys will have to check it out." Tara said as she pulled the phone from her pocket and placed it in Willow's hand to make the call. At least they had some sort of a plan forming.

* * *

Standing at the front of The Bronze was unlike anything Buffy had ever felt before. The music was thumping, drumming the non-existent heart in her chest, the lights were flashing, and the blood was pumping. Everywhere she looked she could smell it, feel it swirling around her ears. She could taste it in the air, all those hormones and all that adrenaline, all that blood. She wanted to dive right in and soak it all up right down that burning in her throat. She wanted it all.

Spike was there to remind her that she couldn't actually have it all without making a big fuss and they weren't ready for that quite yet. He led her by the hand in through the front doors as he fought his own urges to kill. Still he was able to keep her back as he led her to the back and to the side, a dark corner rarely used for anything but make-out sessions and hands roaming under clothes.

"Who do you want Buffy?" Spike turned towards her, his body creating a barrier between her and the crowd so she wouldn't lose herself to quick. He wanted her to enjoy this. "Who do you want to be your first? Anyone you want and I'll get them for you. The choice is yours."

With a moan Buffy closed her eyes and let her instincts take over. Her body seemed to move on its own as the demon broke out of its shell and ruled her mind. With her hand still on Spike she was moving towards the dance floor where off to the corner she saw a young couple. They were grinding and bumping, her ass sliding against his dick to the beat of the song as his hands slipped under her shirt and clawed at her skin. Both of them were too drunk to even stand steady with the movements they were making. They were easy prey.

"Let's dance with them." Buffy led the way to the corner of the dance floor and started to move with the music, Spike still stuck by her side. He took the opportunity to slide behind her and put his hands on her hips, letting her guide him to the pace she wanted to set. She could always move her body well and soon they took off with the humans dancing around them and inched their way to the drunk couple in the corner.

As the song moved on, Spiked moved his hands higher, pulling her body closer as his reacted in the only way expected. His arousal started to poke her in the back but if she cared she didn't say anything. He grabbed hold of the sides of her stomach as she wrapped a hand around his neck and brought his head down closer. He leaned in with a mouth open, ready to land on the bare flesh of her un-dead neck when she talked over her shoulder and over the music at him. "Do you want the boy or girl?"

With a slight sigh of disappointment that she probably heard with her senses he leaned in closer. "Your choice love." He murmured back in her ear, his lips touching the curve of her lobe instead of her neck, as they continued to sway. "Just choose soon. I don't think I'll last much longer out here."

"Don't have much stamina, do you?" He rolled his eyes at her joke but she continued to talk before he could say 'get a move on'. "I don't know which one I'll like more do I? Boy or girl? Girl or boy?" She bit her lip as her body rolled back and her nails slipped across the back of Spike's neck. She was feeling far too much and while she joked about Spike's stamina, she didn't have much of her own. Thinking of what just that tiny drop of Willow's blood did, she knew she wanted more. She didn't care anymore. She needed it. Now. She turned back to Spike, her face bending up and her mouth jumping against his jaw, any thoughts of the position they were in far from her mind as she glanced at the couple she was about to eat. The hormones she was smelling almost seemed to affect her as she grabbed Spike's leg to pull him closer. She wanted to know what would happen when she drank them too. "Share?"

He nodded from behind and she felt it as the stubble from his chin rubbed against the side of her face. That was all she needed before she was briskly leading him over to the couple. Her body felt like it was on fire (not in the bad way) the closer she got. This was it, this was the moment she always wanted.

Just as she neared the couple they were stumbling their way into the alley and Buffy was thanking whatever was willing to listen to her for her dumb luck. They followed them out and sure enough they were making out by the dumpster, the girl slammed against the wall as he tried to hold her up. There were few other people out, some smoking by the end of the alley but they weren't paying much attention.

There wasn't any time for witty remarks or jokes with Buffy. The minute she was close enough to smell their blood and the alcohol swimming inside she was gone. She was pretty sure he was trying to undo his pants at the time she sunk her teeth into his neck. She didn't much care about it. Spike's hand ended up still being in hers and he had been dragged along with her in her attempt to get to the blood. The girl pressed up against the brick of the wall with her pants halfway down her legs was too gone to even notice, she just kept calling out for the boy. Spike put a stop to the quick as he wrapped around Buffy and her kill and sank his fangs into the young girl.

Buffy couldn't stop herself. She knew she said she would share with Spike and she meant it at the time but as she sank her teeth down and pierced the soft skin of the teen, she was lost. Red blood swooshed out of the wound and into her mouth and she sucked and sucked and sucked, pulling harder and harder on his body, not even noticing she was pulling Spike's hand with her into his body. Willow was her first taste but that was a drop. This was everything and it was filling her and it felt so good, so complete. Her body sang as the adrenaline flowed and the power filled her up. Her mind went on overload and she lost herself to the demon that was caressing every part of her that needed touching. Too soon it was gone and just as she thought she couldn't take any more pleasure, the body slumped under her. She drank him all.

When she pulled her eyes open she quickly let go of Spike so she could swipe her hands over her chin and pick up any bits of blood she missed, licking them from her fingers. She saw Spike still enjoying his meal but when she let go of his hand he turned around to see what happened.

She had a hell of a grip on him when she was riding through that kill. Of course he didn't expect any different for a new vamp and it was a miracle she even lasted as long as she did. She chose a hell of a human. Drinking blood was fine with anyone but she chose drunk, hormone driven teens. They always were a favorite of his. The girl under him was giving him a magnificent high and he could hardly stand taking his time with her but it was worth it for him. His body craved so much after so long, he wasn't willing to throw it away in the few seconds he could.

"What happened to sharing?" He joked as he looked at the dead boy on the ground and Buffy finished licking her fingers.

"Oops." She said with a perfectly innocent smile that made him want to do everything the opposite of innocent to wipe it off. He growled instead and turned back to his human where he finished her off with a groan and sent her to the floor.

Buffy watched the girl fall but knew there was no point in licking the wounds. Spike would have drank absolutely everything. He didn't even get any on his chin. She wanted more though.

As she started to walk towards the club again she stumbled and started to giggle as Spike caught her with one arm. She looked around herself and noticed as the alley started to spin a bit and Spike's face seemed to get closer and farther and closer. "Am I drunk?" She laughed out loud as she said it, trying to pick herself up but failing.

"Partially. You are such a lightweight." He joked as he pulled her back into the club and stood her up against the wall, pulling out a cigarette. She motioned she wanted one too and he gave it to her as they both leaned back and stared at the human crowd. "It's the alcohol in their blood plus the high of the kill. It'll really get you going."

"I love it." She sighed as she eyed another couple of teens across the room. "Them?" She pointed and Spike followed her finger.

"Last ones. Then we really gotta get going. Don't need you drunk and facing the Scoobies if they wise up and check this place out."

"Fine." She blew smoke in his face. "Last ones." She took his hand again and led him to the dance floor, weaving them in and out of the people, set on getting at their prey. "But I get the girl this time." She smirked at him as he smirked back and they picked up to the beat of the music, swaying, watching, hunting.

* * *

"I never thought we would see this place again." Xander flashed the light around the dark halls of the Initiative, looking out of the corner of his eye for any movement. All there seemed to be were mice and spiders. Icky spiders. He didn't like spiders.

"I don't think any of us did." Giles answered as he looked around with his own light. The call was a godsend for the two of them. Giles had expected Xander to lash out at him for even mentioning killing Buffy, let alone actually almost acting on it, but Xander had remained quiet. He was apparently too mad to talk. The call at least gave them a purpose, though it did steal them away from town right before they were about to check the area around The Bronze.

"That's weird." As they moved into the main area where they remembered the majority of the fighting taking place, everything seemed to be illuminated. "The lights are on."

"It seems someone had stopped by recently."

"Do you think…?"

"The Initiative has returned? Doubtful."

"Or Spike and Buffy could have…"

"No. I doubt it." Giles returned his light to his pocket as he adjusted his glasses and peeked out over the rail. "We could always stick around to find out."

"Not until we get more weapons. Or a plan."

"Let's check the cells first." Giles led the way to the stairs leading down. "No need to waist a visit."

"Sure. Um Giles…" Giles stopped his decent and turned to face him. "About before. I wasn't about to let you kill Buffy either. I just wanted to make that known. I just thought a witch going through shock wouldn't go down so well."

"I understand." Giles nodded, appreciating the calm tone rather than the lashing he was expecting. "And know killing Buffy would be the last thing I would want to do. But you of all people, having been around a slayer so long, should understand that she is already dead."

"I just think we should give the girls a chance."

"Yes. I understand your reasoning. But I've been around magic and I've been a watcher for a very long time. All my life. I meant what I said. I do not see her surviving this."

Xander nodded with a frown, not really comforted by Giles' words. "I'd just be careful saying that stuff around Dawn. She won't want to hear it. None of us really do."

"True." Giles agreed as he led the way down the steps and to the level with the cells. He hoped this would work like the kids expected it too. He wished he had their optimism.

* * *

The rest of the night had been fun for Buffy and Spike. Pure fun. Buffy thrived in her first kill and Spike swallowed up as much as he could get before they had to head out of town. He stole a car, Porsche (finally), and drove them through the night until they couldn't risk the sun anymore. They found an abandoned house by the road, to the disappointment of both of them. They were really hoping for another reason to kill but it just wasn't going to happen that night.

They both slept through until the sun dove beneath the sky again and Spike was able to buy supplies to make the car drivable during the day. They didn't have to travel too far though. They stopped by a demon bar in one of the towns, drinking and smoking and Buffy keeping up on her poker teachings, and there they met someone that actually had some useful information.

They learned of a gypsy in town that would be willing to help them for the right price and so they headed there the same night. Her name was Florica and she looked straight up stereotypical. She had the dress, the jewels, the scarf, and even the henna tattoos. As soon as they were invited into her home they could see the anti-vampire defenses resting like nick-knacks on the walls and they knew this wasn't her first rodeo. Still, Buffy was confident as she explained what she wanted done as Spike mumbled to himself, grumpy about Angel getting involved, liking Buffy all to himself. He'd rather they went out dancing again. Well, he couldn't really call what they were doing dancing.

Florica didn't seem to have an opinion when Buffy finished so she slumped into the couch along side Spike and asked plain out. "So? You gonna help or not?"

"Steal the soul from vampire's body?" Florica eyed the two of them, knowing what they were and how dangerous the spell would be. "What's in it for me?"

"You'll not die." Spike offered, lighting up a cigarette. "For one."

"Two, you can keep it." Buffy continued as she took it from his mouth and started sucking on it herself. "He won't be needing it after we get it out."

"Why would I be wanting his soul?" Florica asked even though the temptation was there. There was great risk in this spell, especially if the vampires decided to turn on her, not that she wouldn't have precautions set out, but having a soul would increase her power tenfold. She could sell it for money or use it herself. It was pure power and she hadn't heard of anyone owning one. At least not one that was pure. And there was the problem. The vampire's soul wouldn't be pure.

Buffy could smell Florica's blood pumping and hear her heart quickening at the thought of a soul. Obviously she was just jerking them around for a bit. Buffy wasn't wrong in assuming that kind of power would be exactly what this black market gypsy was looking for. "You're telling me you don't have any voodoo magicy wishy washy that requires a soul?"

"True, a soul holds power but that depends on the soul. A human soul trapped in vampire will be damaged. What would I do with a tainted soul?"

"Fine." Buffy sighed as she handed the cigarette back to Spike who tipped the ash out into what looked like a vase of some sort. "What do you want then?"

"An undamaged soul." Florica challenged, though honestly even the damaged one would do. "A human soul willingly given."

"I think I have someone in mind." Buffy answered confidently as she slid back into the couch.

Spike shifted to face her, completely confused by her attitude. "You do? Who do you know that's gonna give up their soul willingly?"

"Don't worry about it." Buffy spat back at him with a look to shut him up before turning back to Florica. "It's a deal."

"Shake in blood." Florica slipped a small blade out from under the table and held it up. The casing was fitted with many jewels and even had a dragon carved into it. The blade itself was slightly curved and extremely sharp and Buffy didn't miss the whistle Spike gave at the sight of it. It was pretty cool looking.

Buffy stared at the knife poised over the human's hand, her demon already jumping to take it from her and slide it over her neck and drink like it was a waterfall. Of course she couldn't do that, she was using her to get Angel's soul out. No death for her. Not quite yet.

"Blood isn't really mine." Buffy held up her arm with a shrug, not sure how all this magic stuff worked. That was always Willow. "Borrowed really."

"Works all the same." Florica answered as she brought the knife to her hand and whispered the words to a binding spell.

Buffy jumped at the smell of blood but ignored it and held out her hand for the knife, taking it in her fist but Spike stopped her before she could bring the point to her palm. "You sure you want to do this pet? Agreements made over blood can't be broken easily. Especially with, well, us. Bloods kinda important with the whole needing it thing."

"I'm sure." Buffy answered as she swiped the blade and brought the blood she had in her system forward. Holding out her hand she could hear the other woman mumbling words she didn't understand but she didn't really feel like asking what she was saying. She grabbed her hand and felt the energy pour off the gypsy and into her palm, a heat surrounding their hands in a way that buckled her knees. It was too hot. Much too hot. She just knew she was going to catch fire.

Then it was all over and Florica brought her hand away and to her chest where she could be sure the vampires wouldn't latch on so easy. "There."

"Alright now come with us. Spike, give me your cell. I'm calling Angel."

"Now?"

"Yeah now. My friends are probably already on their way to figuring out where we are. Need to stop them before they get the chance."

"Fine." Spike reached around his pocket and fiddled with his phone before handing it to her. "He's under Peaches."

"Peaches?" Buffy scoffed and waited for the explanation behind that. It seemed almost like a pet name if she didn't know any better. Then again Spike did tend to give those out to everyone. He must have called Angel that before but to put it in his phone?

"Cus he's soft and bruises easily and-"

"Okay whatever. What if I call you Peaches? Peaches." Spike gave her a nasty glare that just made her smile wider as the gypsy picked up the items she needed for the spell and Spike led the way to the car while Buffy made the call.

The phone rang a few times before the call was ignored so Buffy tried again. Then again. Then again. Finally Angel stopped ignoring, picked up the phone and yelled through the line. "Spike? Why the hell are you-"

"Angel it's me." Buffy put on her_ happy-go-lucky-I'm-human_ voice as Spike loaded the gypsy into the car and jumped into the driver's seat. He still hadn't let her take her turn behind the wheel. She would have to fix that.

"Buffy?" On cue Angel's voice deflated to that of worry and love. "What are you doing on Spike's phone?"

"Borrowed." Buffy muttered before raising her voice to an innocent sounding tone. "Can you leave now?"

"Now? Um…"

"Meet me halfway. I just really need to see you." The mocking Spike did in the mute form of a pathetic version of herself did not go unnoticed as he mouthed everything she said in an overacting manner to the mirror. She shoved him hard and his head hit the window but at least he stopped. "There's a restaurant. Toby's Pizza and Wings. Meet there?"

"Yeah. Okay. I'll leave now. Just let me tell everyone I'm going."

"Okay. I'll see you there."

"Okay. And Buffy-"

"Yeah?"

"Spike's not coming is he?"

Buffy turned to Spike who was glaring over at her and she nodded her head yes as she answered, "No."

"Alright. See you soon."

"Yup. Bye." Buffy hung up the phone and threw it over to the driver in disgust before rolling down her window and speaking to the car as Spike slammed on the gas. "Let's get this show on the road."


	12. Toby's Pizza and Wings

**AN: **I switched my notes up a bit so if anything doesn't make sense tell me please because I know hinting at Buffy having a plan without saying what it is while simultaneously being obvious about it is probably getting confusing. Or annoying. So sorry. (so, so sorry)

* * *

Toby's was really in the middle of nowhere. It was off one of those long roads in the middle of the desert that only the locals and truckers would go to. Only a single streetlamp lit the parking lot, showing it filled with the cars from the people inside.

They sat on the opposite side of the lot, backed into the shadow of the building with their eyes pinned on the road. Even in the car Buffy could smell everyone inside. Their blood swam around the grease of the pizza and spices of the wings in the most delightful way, making her mouth water. They hadn't fed since The Bronze and she really needed something in her system. The thumping heart of the human in the back didn't help much at all.

"I'm getting wings." Spike broke her out of her silence as he sniffed the air and reclined in his seat, giving a careless smile towards the backseat of the car where Florica was sitting. She didn't really give a reaction, just looked out for any sign of the third vampire she would deal with that night, wondering why she put up with their species for the millionth time in the past hour.

"You can't get wings till after Angel's soul is gone." Buffy reminded him as she leaned her head out the window to try and listen for any cars coming up. Angel was taking all the fucking time in the world.

"But he'll hog them all! Pig that he is." He slumped further into the seat and rhythmically started tapping on the steering wheel out of habit. "Actually he'll be too busy trying to find a way to make his kills ironic towards the pizza or something. Arrange them like their peperoni or whatever. He always was a loosey type with the irony. Poof."

"Well last I checked, you were the pig. And just eat the wings while he's eating the people."

"Aren't you gonna want your taste?"

"I never really liked wings."

"Of the people."

"Oh. Of course."

"And what do you mean you don't like wings?! What's wrong with you?"

"Spicy food. Yuck." She crinkled her face to match her disgust and Spike scoffed in her direction. "It just tastes like my mouth is on fire. Gross."

"Pansy."

"Hey!"

"Oh yeah right, not a pansy. Just scared of a bit of food is all."

"I'll make you scared of a bit of food."

"And what the bloody hell is that supposed to mean?"

"It means….shut up Spike."

"You're sexy when you pout."

"You're sexy when you don't talk."

"Ooooh, bring out the duct tape."

"Keep it up and I'll tape you to the car. No wings for you. Or teens."

"Come on, who else is gunna be eating at a pizza spot but teens?"

"I'm sure they'll be some lovely grandparents in there for you."

"God no. Save those for Angelus. Taste like dust and blood medication they do."

Florica listened to the conversation happening in front of her with her eyes darting between the two vamps like a tennis match. These two were just ridiculous. Most vamps had attitude problems revolving around flirting about/with death but the underlying sexual tension in the front seat was just too much to bear. At least they were too busy bickering to see her eyes roll behind her lids.

Another glance out the windshield and they could see a dark car with harshly tinted windows pulling up next to the light across the lot. Angel's spiked hair could be seen first as he pushed the door open and rounded to the front of the car where he looked around and pulled out his phone, intent on calling Buffy bout their meeting. She hadn't said to meet inside but at least he was smart enough to know to call first. Knowing the way their sappy conversations usually went he was probably expecting the meeting to only last a couple of minutes and it would definitely not be a meeting meant for others to hear, arguments pending.

Buffy grinned and reached for the door handle before Spike stopped her with a question. "How're you gonna handle the whole…undead thing?" He made a random gesture over her body before leaning back down in the seat so Angel wouldn't see him. "Poncey won't like it when he finds out."

"You didn't know when you first saw me."

"I was in shock! He's had time to think it over you know."

"Well I'll just distract him a bit." She grabbed the top of her tank, glad that vamps didn't have the necessity to change often due to their differences in human biology. Curving the side of her nail into the harsh dip of the top she pulled at the fabric and separated the threads, ripping it down her center and dipping the neckline even further. "There. Distracting enough?"

"Oh." She glanced up at the other vamp who had his eyes glazed over, completely locked on her uncovered chest. "Um… What?"

"I'll take that as a yes."

"Actually you may want to even take this down." He leaned over a bit more and pulled the threads even further apart, stripping the shirt down even more to the point where the curves of her bra were visible over the top. He smirked and adjusted the shirt as he went, sure to get it perfect while making sure to slide his hands around as much area as possible. "There you go."

"Any excuse to touch my boobs."

"Pretty much. Yeah." He released her with a wink before she turned back to the gypsy who already had her bag in hand and was waiting to open the door. She had a look on her face like she had been waiting for a moment to run out of the car and that just made Buffy want to laugh. If she cared about the poor little human she might have been concerned about how annoyed she must have been with the two of them, her magical powers a threat. Worried she wasn't though.

"You have your voodoo ready?"

"It's not voodoo." Florica spat back as she opened the door and moved behind the car to set up.

"Whatever. You good to go?"

"I will be soon." She started to lay out the ingredients in a way that was vaguely familiar, flashbacks of Willow setting up coming to mind, before she turned back towards Buffy with a nod.

"Kay. Here goes nothing." Buffy shook off the memories of Willow's eyes glazing over, chanting words she didn't understand, all to bring a soul back to her body, to ruin her even more than she already was, and focused. Readjusting her top she walked out from the car and started to pass under the light.

Angel was quick to notice her as soon as her blonde hair started shining under the lamp. "Buffy." He gasped and looked her over, surprised at how well she actually looked. Her body was the same, she held the same lively walk, and she was just as pretty as ever. Really the only thing different was how low that top was. Wow that was low.

The staring contest he was having with her boobs did not go unnoticed. "Angel." Sniffing the air she could smell that bit of difference that vampires seemed to give off, that something that smelled like wet wood to her when she first came out of the ground. If she thought about it she would say it was the smell the blood left behind. She didn't really care to think about it though, she was much more focused on the good blood, not the used up kind.

If she focused hard enough she could feel something more just beneath the surface. Spike gave off power in waves in everything he did but Angel was much more reserved about it. Still, it was there and she wanted it more than anything. The soul was just in the way. "Wow."

"I just can't…" He moved into the light and met her under the lamp, his arms handing by his side and his mouth hanging open. "You're back…I don't know what….how?"

"Willow." Buffy smiled, clamping her teeth down. A bubble of hatred always seemed to spring up whenever she thought about her. "A little spell here, little chanting there, and bingo. Buffy."

"She…I can't…how are you?"

"I'm fine. Or at least I will be."

"What do you mean?" He looked her over and around the parking lot again. Everything seemed fine, she seemed fine, why would she not be fine? Well Buffy was rarely fine-fine but she was usually fine.

God he was a mess.

Was it emotional? Did she want something more? Was this going to be another one of _those _talks? He didn't know how many more times they could never see each other again.

"I didn't call you here because I wanted to see you Angel." That caught his attention straight away and he stopped looking around like a mad man and started looking at her like he was utterly confused. Not much difference really. "I called you here because I wanted to see…well _better_ is really a matter of opinion." The light from the lamp grew ever so slightly brighter as they continued to talk. "So...your stronger half."

"Buffy I don't-"

"Take a moment Angel. Look at me." She stepped back from his far-too-close proximity and threw her arms open in the light. "Am I really the Buffy that you know and love?"

"What?" He sputtered as he tried to suss out the expectations of this meeting with what was really happening.

_The Buffy that you know and love-_ was this some kind of game or something? Was she trying to be funny? Or was it worse than that? Already he started thinking the worst in his head. Maybe it wasn't Buffy standing in front of him. Maybe it was an imposter, a monster, someone sent by Wolfram and Hart. Looking at her, it didn't make sense. She didn't seem any different. He still felt that pull to her he always did in her presence, the love that was always there no matter how much he tried to get rid of it. He chuckled in his confusion, looking around again as if the shadows would give him the answers. "I don't-"

"Try a little harder." She snapped, letting her eyes twinkle gold for a moment before throwing her hands on her hips. Really this was taking too long. She looked over her shoulder towards the car but couldn't see anything. If Florica was messing this up on purpose she was going to have her for an appetizer. More likely Spike was messing it up though. He would just love to stall this.

While Buffy was busy glaring at the cars, Angel had his eyes fixed on her. "No." That couldn't have been gold in her eyes. That was just a trick of the light, nothing more. Yet when he sniffed the air and listened for her heart, there was nothing. Absolutely nothing. He did it again, stopping absolutely everything, his own constant reflex breathing and all shuffling, but all he could hear were the sounds from inside the diner. Another look over Buffy and he could tell, there was absolutely nothing. That could only mean one thing. "No! You can't be!"

"Oh but I am." His face fell and she smiled wider, slowly letting her fangs fall into place as he slowly started to fall apart.

"No." He shook his head and grabbed her arms, shaking her as he spoke, wishing he was having a nightmare. "Buffy think. We can get Willow. Get you a soul like she did me. We can-"

"Oh they tried. Seems magic doesn't work on me. There's no going back now."

"Cordelia's vision." He muttered, looking over his shoulder towards his car. "She said…but I didn't think…"

"Cordy?" Buffy perked up and pushed on his arms to try and get a better peek over his shoulder. "Is she here?"

"Buffy we can fix this." He grabbed her tighter, holding her to him in a way that would bruise most humans. He never had to worry about that with her though. "We can find a way-"

"But I don't want to. See, I rather like it this way. I have plans for this new unlife of mine." She grabbed his face in her hands and made him look at her so she could see just how broken he was. "Plans you happen to be a part of."

"Buffy I can help you." He grabbed her hands from his face and held them in his own, begging her to listen to reason. "Let me help you."

"Let me help you." She mocked, twisting his hands back and making him squirm in pain until he was on his knees in the dirt. "Whine, whine, whine." He looked up at her from his kneeling position but she continued before he could beg any more. He really was pathetic sometimes. "Doesn't matter. The only help I'll get from you will come from Angelus."

He shook his head again and again, realizing what she meant. "No." Suddenly a burst of pain hit his chest and he crippled even more under Buffy's hold. "Buffy don't!" She let go and stepped back to watch him squirm as the light from the lamp above above continued to flare brighter and brighter. "Stop this!"

"Angel!" A tiny worried voice came out of the distance and soon the small figure of Cordelia Chase could be seen jogging up to their position and falling to her boss' side. "Angel! What's going on? What's wrong?! Buffy what's happening?!"

"Hey there Cordy." Buffy smiled, enjoying her luck in having her former schoolmate within biting distance, her heart pumping double time as the adrenaline kicked in and the fear started to creep around the edges. "Oh nothing much."

"Cordelia, get out of here," Angel managed to spit out some words between his moaning and clawing at the dirt. "Now!"

"Ohhhh I don't think so." Buffy crouched down in front of him and pouted so he could see. "She's not going anywhere. Spike!"

Spike came running over to the light at the same time calling out "I thought I wasn't invited-" as Angel called out "I thought he wasn't coming-". Buffy gave both boys a look and while turned away Cordelia took Angel's advice and sprinted in the opposite direction. She wasn't even smart enough to run for the car or the diner, she just started running away. Well she probably didn't have the keys and it wasn't like some humans were going to be able to stop them anyway.

"I lied." Buffy directed at Angel in answer to his statement before calling to the other vamp. "Spike can you do me a favor. Get Cordelia back here."

"Sure thing pet." He started to walk away before turning on his heels. "Though I hope you know I won't be taking all your ordering around lying down. I'm not-"

"Yes, yes. Macho macho man. Just go get her."

"Oh Cordelia!" Spike grinned and started mocking, chasing after the young and helpless girl. "Come be a good girl now won't you? We haven't seen each other in so very long. How's about a little reunion huh?"

"AH!" Angel gave another rather pitiful shout from another bit of magically induced pain, lasting much longer than what he remembered when he lost his soul before. He grabbed out around him and landed his hand on Buffy's ankle, his fingers latching onto her boots. "No. No Buffy please. You don't understand. What will happen. Please!"

"Sorry Angel. You're as good as dead." She rested a hand on his head before pushing him further into the dirt and standing without a care. "Bye I guess."

"Buffy!" Another high pitched scream escaped his lips as the light above burned brighter and brighter until it was almost blinding. In a giant pop the light blew and an entirely different light flew from Angel's face, through the air, and back towards the car she left Florica at.

Seconds ticked by before the lump figure on the ground burst up into a standing position and yelled. "Whoa! Well that took long enough. Hello lover."

"Oh don't start with the lover shit again." Buffy rolled her eyes but she couldn't help smiling at the high improvement of vampire in front of her, the waves of energy just crashing off of him.

"Well just look at you!" Angelus walked forwards with the condescending and excited tone he always had. "The slayer all grown up. Undead just like the best of us. A slayer becoming a vampire. That is poetry. Who did it? Was it you Spike?" Buffy looked over her shoulder and saw Cordy limp in Spike's arms, blood trickling from her forehead, as he walked back towards their little circle. "I didn't think you had it in you."

"Shut it!"

Angelus made a show of sniffing the air, noting the smells that mixed together. "And shagging Spike. Wow. Thought you had better taste." He nodded at Buffy who only glared in response. He knew they weren't sleeping together. He was just being an ass like always.

"Buffy, where you want the bint?"

"Oh I'll take her." Angelus held his arms open, his face quickly shifting back into its natural demon form.

"No Angel." Buffy walked in front of him, a hand to stop Spike from passing her over. "No eating Cordy. I have plans for her too."

"First off, don't call me Angel. Secondly, I wasn't just going to eat her. She gets special treatment."

"Oh-ho. Special treatment." Spike mocked him, lifting the girl in his arms closer to his throat as a tease. "What'd she do to you? Bring you the wrong coffee?"

"Oh I don't think so Spike." Buffy turned back with the same mocking tone. "Special treatment reserved for friends of Buffy only."

"Nah, look at him. He's in love with her he is."

"Oh my god you're right! He's in love with her!"

The two of them laughed as Angelus just got angrier and angrier. "Shut up. I'm not in love with her. He is!" He pointed at his skull, clearly coming close to punching either himself or one of them. "It's sickening. Him and his humans are just so-" He made a face of pure disgust before pointing back at the limp girl in anger. "I could have some real fun with her."

"Well put a hold on that till later." Buffy challenged, crossing her arms over her chest unconcerned over Angel falling in love with another girl. Angelus always exaggerated anyway. Plus she didn't really care either way. Angel was dead.

"And who made you boss?" Angelus challenged back. Spike looked between the two and dropped the human in his arms to the dirt, fishing around for a cigarette before the real fight started.

"I did. I'm the one with the plan and I'm the one who can still kick your ass. Both your asses. So you're gonna listen to me."

"Oh a plan really? What're you gonna do? Eat up the mall?"

"Would you shut up and let the girl talk." Spike mumbled over his lighter.

"Oooh Spike coming up on defense." Angelus taunted as Spike blew the smoke he inhaled over at him.

"And if you don't shut it, I'm gonna-"

"Boys. Quit your flirting." Buffy nodded back at Toby's. "Go get some dinner and I'll tell you exactly what I have in mind."

"What'd you want me to do with her?" Spike kicked the unconscious girl on the ground.

"Put her in the trunk. Duct tape and ropes are in back."

"Rope too? Didn't realize you wanted to go full bondage love." Spike smiled in her direction as he picked Cordy off the ground and stomped passed the gypsy on his way to the trunk.

"My work here is done." Florica turned to Buffy, her bag held tightly at her side. Buffy could see a tinge of while light streaming from within, undoubtedly Angel's soul. "I will be expecting your payment or I will return the soul." She nodded down at her bag as she checked out the vampire who the soul belonged to. The way he looked at her made her feel completely uncomfortable and she was far past wanting to leave. She wasn't scared for her life but she did not care to continue with the present company. Especially not before they mass murdered the pizza place.

"Yes, yes. I'm aware." Buffy snapped at her. "Just hold off for a bit. What I have in mind may take a while."

"You have a month or the agreement will be terminated."

"I get it. Go before I eat you." Florica turned and walked off towards the road, intent on hitching a ride either by choice or force just to get out of there. "Alright Toby." Buffy shook her features into their vampire phase and looked towards the diner. "Let's see how good your pizza really is."

"Can't wait to try the local cuisine." Angelus morphed into his vampire form too and they both started to walk towards the front door.

"I heard it's to die for." Spike joined them on flank but they both stopped walking and he ended up bumping straight into Buffy's back.

"Really?" Angelus scoffed before continuing on his own.

"What?" Spike asked, taking the cigarette out of his mouth and looking between them.

"_To die for_?" Buffy continued to look at him like he had three heads before walking on without him. "One too many Spike! Gotta know when to stop."

"I was just doing what you guys-! Oh bollocks." He stamped out his cigarette and thrust his hands into his pockets as he slumped his way behind them. "I see how it is then. Pretty boy comes back and it's a round of kick the Spike again. Stupid slayer falling all over him like-"

"Shut up and come eat!" Buffy yelled at him with the door open, sending the smells of the blood and grease his way, making him speed his way up and shift into his vampire form to match the rest.

The place wasn't too full but it wasn't bad for a weeknight. There were a few families, teens, a few truckers, an old married couple, and the workers. It didn't really matter their age, they all just blended together smelling like dinner.

A trucker was first to see the trio, his mouth falling open and the food from his fork dripping onto the plate. Then a small child asked his parent what they were. Then a teen noticed and made his friends look, one of them whispering; "What the fuck are they?".

"Hello ladies and gentlemen." Buffy called out in a warm greeting as she walked to the back of the diner, it wasn't a very big place. "Boys and girls." She smiled to the children in the center booth and continued to make her way. "I'd like to think we're really going to get to know each other in the next few minutes. I hope you feel the same. See I'm Buffy, the bulky one's Angelus, and the platinum is Spike-"

"Platinum. Why my hair? Is my hair my thing now?"

"We'll start calling you Shiny. It suits you." Angelus smirked as Spike rolled his eyes and walked away, jumping behind the counter.

"Anyway…" Buffy gave them both a glare. "I don't actually have a speech for you. I'm too hungry to care. I just thought you'd want to know our names for when you're begging us to stop."

"Stop?" One of the teens closer to the door asked shakily. "Stop what?"

"This." Angelus quickly grabbed him by the throat and pulled him back to his body, sinking his fangs into the side of his neck and drinking him in two seconds flat before letting him slump to the ground dead. "Oh mama that is good!"

Then all hell broke loose.

Everyone started running for the door that Angelus had blocked off. Spike took out the workers behind the counter before any of them could make their way out the back, punching a few down and even slamming one's face into the grilling oil, burning off his flesh before taking a bite. Buffy attacked from behind, picking off the strangling teens and getting her fill before helping Angelus at the front.

It became fuzzy for who she was actually eating. While the high drove her, all the necks seemed to blur together and it all just tasted so good. There were subtle differences in some of them, some more bitter, some more fearful, some grittier, but she didn't care to keep track.

A few tried to fight back but they were no match for the vampire strength. Buffy held nothing back and when the father of the children tried to hit her, she landed a kick so hard she could hear the crunch of his ribs and it sent him straight over the counter and into Spike's side.

"Watch it!" Spike yelled back from the floor before sinking in his fangs into the man and jumping back over the counter to join the fun.

"You're welcome!" Buffy shouted back before grabbing a woman by the throat and holding her down on the table over the pizza, grabbing a bite of both entrées before turning back. Pizza wasn't all that bad with blood actually.

Angelus was busy fighting his way across the counter with one of the truckers, singing his way to him as he spun every bar stool he passed, one by one. "_Run and hide. Run and hide. Get away from the big bad wolf!_ Is it the teeth? Is that what throws you off? I swear they're not that bad. Here, let me show you." The trucker was dead in almost an instant but his scream could still be heard reverberating off the walls.

The mob had been depleted, their bodies painting the tables red, but there was still one problem. Buffy sniffed the air and nodded towards the bathroom. She tried the door but it was locked, so she knocked. Inside she could hear the muffled sounds of crying and shuffling about.

"Oh I don't know boys." Buffy took a step back and looked at them both. "Should we leave them in there you think?"

"I smell kid." Angelus groaned in the direction of the door. "It's been so long since I had prepubescent."

"Do what you want mate. I'm getting wings." Spike hopped back over the counter and to the cooking area where he greedily eyed a freshly made batch of super spicy extra crunchy chicken wings, complete with someone's blood spattered over the top. Perfection.

"Slayer?" Angelus lifted a brow in her direction and she smiled, bowing and backing away from the door. One kick was all it took to break the lock and show what was inside. The two kids from before were clinging onto their mother's side, shoving their heads under her arms as she grabbed them tighter, making pleas for their lives.

"I'll tell you what," Angelus knelt down in front of her. "We'll let one live. Your choice."

The woman became even more hysterical repeating over and over again, "No please. Not my kids. Please no. No."

"Tick tock. Make a choice."

"No, no, no. My kids. Please no. No."

"Times up." Angelus dragged the mom out of the room, the kids left to grab nothing. He held her up to his body and made her face them, a hand on her throat and an arm around her waist. "Tell them it will be alright." She sobbed out but couldn't do much else. "Tell them!" He yelled but she just continued to cry. "Tell them or I'll make you watch them die."

It took a few gulps but the woman managed to sputter out something similar to "It's okay." As soon as the words left her lips Angelus tossed her in Buffy's direction and she drank her up. Peeking up from the neck she was chewing on, she could see Angelus diving into the bathroom. The screams of the kids were only momentary before silence soon fell after. Buffy dropped the mom and jumped into a booth, shoving another dead body out of the way, and grabbed a slice of greasy cheese pizza and shoved it into her mouth with a groan.

She could get used to this.


	13. Before Sunrise

**AN: **flashback - so you are not totally confused.

* * *

"Spike's not coming is he?" Angel asked in his office back at the Hyperion sighing in relief when Buffy answered.

"No."

"Alright. See you soon."

"Yup. Bye."

With a smile to himself he hung up the phone and turned back to his desk only to see Cordelia looking at him from the door.

"Who was that?"

"Buffy." Cordy raised her brows and smiled wider over at her boss, making her way into the room. "She wants to meet up now."

"I still can't believe she's really back."

"It's why I need to meet her." Reaching into his pocket he picked out his car keys and fiddled with them in his hands. "Can you guys-"

"Cope without you here?" She chuckled and went back to open the door for him, willing to shove him out if she had to. "Yeah. I think we can manage."

"Well with Fred I don't know-"

"It'll give her some time to get over her crush on you. Maybe she'll come join the living after all." She looked up the stairs in the direction of the girl's room, shaking her head at her refusal to leave and thinking she really needed to bring her up another taco soon. "Get her out of her room for a bit."

"Okay. Yeah. I'm going to-" Angel started to walk away but instantly had to stop and run back when he saw the girl's hand slam into her head and her body start to cripple in pain. "Cordy! What's wrong?"

"Vision, vision, vision, vision!" She screamed and screamed again as the pain spread through her system, just seeming to get worse and worse with every new sight.

"Here." He held her in his arms and brought her over to the center couch and let her rest on him while she went through the pain. "I got you. I got you."

She squirmed and writhed until it slowly started to subside, her body thrashing less and less. "Buffy." The flashes ended with the vision and she turned to Angel to explain what she saw. "It's Buffy."

"What? What's wrong?!"

"She's… " Cordy pulled herself up further so she could lean on the back of the couch instead of Angel, both hands running through her hair to try and pull the residing pain away from her skull. "I don't know. It didn't make sense. Willow was there. Black eyes...Buffy was laughing but it didn't feel right. She didn't feel right. Something is wrong."

"Well I'm leaving now. I'll warn her."

"Let me come." She made a move to follow too fast and fell back down into the couch, Angel jumping to catch her.

He looked her over, worried, already shaking his head. "I don't know-"

"I won't interrupt. I'll stay in the car. Just in case seeing her brings another vision. More clarity."

He gave her a frown but nodded anyway. "Alright." If it had to do with Buffy's safety, he would do anything.

Cordy double checked she had a bottle of painkillers in her purse and, with Angel's help, walked to the car and readied herself for a beauty nap.

* * *

"And that's why the bitch is here." Angelus finished telling Spike and Buffy as they all sat in the diner, still surrounded by dead bodies. "Guess she saw you all demoned out. Though I don't know what the witch has anything to do with it."

"Vision girl doesn't see the past yeah?" Spike asked, licking the sauce from his fingers.

"No but Willow's in my future isn't she?"

Before Angelus started talking, Buffy had told them of all her plans. It was why Angelus had to explain why Cordy was tied up in their trunk, she was a part of it. It gave her high hope that the Powers That Be were trying to warn them about her with Cordy's unexplainable visions. "Maybe things just work out."

"We'll see."

"What makes you think I'm sticking around for this?" Angelus asked, slumping down more into the seat.

"Because they sit right over the Hellmouth and they screwed you over too." Buffy said, mimicking his movement. "Not nearly as much as they did me but enough where you should want to get back at them."

"I can do that on my own."

"I'm doing it and you will not get in my way. So you can either help or be mowed down with the rest of them. Your choice."

The two of them kept staring, sizing each other up, but Angelus knew in the back of his mind that the slayer could kill him if she wanted. There was too much strength there. It would take time to outsmart her, any brute force now and he would lose, and he wasn't willing to risk getting killed when he just finally got free. Of course he was always a bit too hotheaded for logic like that.

"What about Spikey here." He tipped his head to the side with a sneer. "What's in it for you?"

"They screwed me over too mate."

"But plans? Never worked out too good for you in the past have they? Well I guess you're not the one making them this time are you?"

"Shut it. My plans work out fine when she's not in the middle of it." He pointed towards Buffy who shrugged her shoulders at him without apology as she watched the two bicker.

"Your plans wouldn't work out if she wasn't. You have the success rate of a one-legged dog. I'm just saying my plans work out."

"Oh really? Remind me then, how'd that whole getting your soul put in by a gypsy plan go? Or the destroying the world thing? Or killing the slayer? Oh wait, that's right, she stuck a sword in your chest!"

"Listen you-"

"Stop!" Buffy shouted causing them both to stop and look at her. "My plans. I'm leading this. End of story."

"Why should you?" Angelus challenged. "You're just some baby vamp trying to make a name for herself. Just cus you were the slayer doesn't mean you know a god damn thing." Fists on the table he leaned over into her space and dropped his voice to a threatening tone. "I've been around a lot longer than you. Give me a reason I should listen to what you have to say."

"Because I've defeated you enough times. I've defeated both of you." She challenged right back, standing and leaning over the table, cowering over him. "I want this more than you and I'm going to get it. They brought me down to hell and I'm going to give them hell right back! Do you have a problem with that?!"

"What I have a problem with is your tone missy!" Angelus shoved off the table and met her at the end, pressing as much as he could into her space without touching her, sneering near her face. "I'm not sure I like it on you."

"So why don't you do something about it? You wanna see just how much I can kick your ass?"

"Oh yeah, let's have a go, you and me! A good old tumble around for old times sake, _lover_."

"I'd love to see-"

"Would you two shut up!" Spike yelled, stuck in the booth as they screamed. "God. You sound like children. Look. We all want the same people dead. Can we at least agree on that? Wankers."

Angelus met her gaze again and continued to huff in anger but gave in. "Fine. But I'm not taking orders from you. I'm only going along with this cus you know how they think and the best way to defeat your enemy is-"

"To love them." Spike cut in making Angelus' glare change direction.

"Damn straight I know them." Buffy answered still feeling her anger boiling over. God she needed to kill something. "And I know that they'll be onto us soon so can you shut up and can we get started?"

"Sun's gonna come up soon." Spike nodded at the windows. "Better find a place till night."

"I'm driving." Buffy's mood changed in an instant as she jumped and started for the door, only to have Spike arguing behind her again.

"What? No way! My stolen Porsche, I'm driving it."

"It's a Porsche SUV Spike. It's not like it's any different from every other SUV."

"It's a Porsche!"

"Angelus, where are you going?" Buffy called out as Angelus turned in the opposite direction towards his own car across the lot.

"My car has tinted windows, I'm not burning because you two are idiots."

"He has a good point." Buffy muttered to Spike before turning around and following Angelus. "Oooh and it's a convertible."

"Wait, what about the Porsche?" Spike called out, looking at his car hopelessly.

"Grab the girl and let's go!" Angelus yelled back as he neared the car. "And you are not driving." He pointed at Buffy before sliding into the driver's seat.

"Shotgun!" Buffy called as Spike came over with the tied and gagged Cordy, rope and tape resting on her body in his arms.

"Not fair!"

"I'm not sitting in back." Buffy laughed as Angelus popped the trunk and Spike dumped the girl inside. She opened the door for him and he reluctantly climbed behind her seat and flipped onto his back looking up at the ceiling so he could start his pout-fest.

Angelus slammed on the gas as soon as Buffy was inside and they left a trail of dust in their wake as they cruised out onto the main road. "Oh and it's a 67 Plymouth GTX convertible, much better than an SUV pretending to be a Porsche."

"What kind of self loathing vampire owns a convertible? Moronic if you ask me."

The arguing went on from there as Angelus drove and Buffy looked out the window for a place that wouldn't be too noticeable. She directed Angelus on a few turns until she saw a house cut off from most others with a very long driveway leading to a bright red door.

"Stop at that house." Angelus slowed and Spike pointed out the cars in the driveway.

"Don't know if you forgot love but humans live there. Can't get in without an invite."

"Who said that would be a problem?"

* * *

"Help!" Buffy banged on the red door with both fists, screaming her head off. "Help! Please! Please let me in! Please!"

"Whoa." A middle aged man with a bit of a southern drawl came to the door in a robe, obviously woken from his sleep. "Whoa, what seems to be the problem?" He looked her over with concern at the same time he found the rip in the front of her shirt. His concern turned to skepticism as he looked around for the cause of her tears or the people that would probably be robbing him.

"Please." Buffy threw her hands into a fist and started begging, crying her eyes out as best she could. "These two men. They're after me. I can't- I don't- Please they could be following me!"

"Alright dear, alright. Come in." He stepped back from the door and let her enter, completely oblivious to the smile on her face. "Are you hurt?"

"No. No I don't think so." She pulled the shards of her shirt together and followed the man into his kitchen where he pulled out a chair for her to sit on. The house was pretty normal looking. There were a few pictures of a family, a couple of rooms, a fireplace, and crosses everywhere. She would have to avoid those. "I ran as fast as I could."

"Dear, what's going on?" The high pitched worry of a middle aged woman was heard as she descended the stairs, a baseball bat held firmly in her hands.

"Nothing." He smiled as he took the bat from her and used it to point Buffy out. "This girl. Some men are after her. Tore her clothes it seems and well…" He let the sentence go unfinished and Buffy took that cue to start pathetically sobbing yet again. Far off in the distance she could hear the muffled laughs of the 'men' chasing her. Well one tore her clothes, at least that was true.

"Well did they follow her here?" The woman asked as she moved to Buffy and looked her over for any sign of injury.

"No." Buffy answered with a shake of the head and while she was at it, she threw a tremor through her body. "I wasn't followed. I don't think so."

"Alright. I'll get the phone for you." The man walked over into the other room as the woman started talking.

"What's your name sweetie?"

"Buffy. Buffy Summers."

"Okay Buffy. I'm Pam and this is Bill."

"Here you go sweetie." Bill dropped the house phone into Buffy's hands and started to make himself breakfast while he waited for her to dial the police. "Mighty fine cops we have around here. They'll help you out real nice."

"Thank you." Buffy took the phone with a smile and sniffed the air for the first time since entering the house. Sobbing really did cut off her smelling abilities. She didn't even know she could fake cry so good.

Formally, thinking about being raped by two vampires would have been enough to do it but not anymore. Now, if those two had sex with her, well...it wouldn't exactly be rape now would it? And at the same time? God.

She shook the dirty thoughts from her mind as she was suddenly hit with the thumping of the blood in the room. There only seemed to be two of them in the house but she needed to be sure. "I haven't put you in any trouble right? No kids or relatives or close neighbors here? I can see if someone else is home."

"No. Our kid is away at school. College and all. It's just us." Pam smiled at her, her own southern drawl coming out the more she spoke. "Next house is far too far for you to walk to."

"No trouble for us." Bill called over his eggs, pointing at the phone from behind. "Call away."

Buffy pulled the phone in front of her, intent on dialing Spike or Angelus to let them know they were going to die in the sun if they didn't come soon, but before she could lift a finger she heard some quiet tapping noises coming from the front door. She stood up from her chair and wandered over, ignoring Pam asking her if she was alright, and looked out the window closest to the door. She could see the two of them, smiling and waving, and she couldn't resist a small chuckle before falling back into the 'girl on the run' persona she had adopted, screaming and dropping the phone by the door. "NO! Oh no! No! No, no, no, no, no. They're here! O my god!"

"Bill, get the gun." Pam had her by the arms, dragging her back into the kitchen as Buffy continued to act hopeless and weak.

"I'm so sorry. I'm so, so sorry."

"Buffy!" Angelus called her through the door, knocking continuously as Spike joined.

"Love, let us in."

"Let us meet your new friends."

"You boys best be getting out of here!" Bill came down the stairs with a shotgun in his arms, aimed at the door, loaded and ready. "We phoned the cops and they'll be here any moment!"

"The cops Buffy?" Spike asked in a mocking tone, already knowing that was a lie.

"We already ate so much." Angelus laughed.

"Don't worry guys!" Buffy called back from behind Pam's protective arms. "Not quite called. Have you in a moment."

"Wha-" Pam slowly turned in shock to the girl she was protecting.

"Sorry." Buffy stood tall, wiping any remaining tears from her face and walking further into the kitchen directly between Pam and Bill. "That was fun but it got old fast. I don't need them whining about shotgun wounds"

"What-" Pam's face morphed even further into shock as Buffy shifted into vampire form, her eyes gleaming in the dark of the house. Suddenly she was hit with the extra spices of adrenaline filling up both of their bodies, enticing her even further. "What are you doing?! No. No! Devil! Devil!"

Buffy rolled her eyes and laughed as Bill turned the shotgun on her. "Oh now we can't have that." She ran forward and ripped it from his arms, throwing it across the other side of the room. Pam screamed but that was nothing compared to the scream she made when Buffy reached forward and grabbed Bill's head, twisting it into a position far too sharp to survive. With that snap he was dead on the floor and Buffy turned to face Pam.

"First time I've done that!" She said excited, moving closer and closer as Pam moved further and further back. "Wasn't that bad actually."

"Would you hurry up slayer?" Angelus yelled through the door.

"Sun's a coming," Spike reminded her. "And I would prefer not to be sweepable!"

"Give me a minute!" She yelled back as she walked over to the shotgun and picked it up, cocking it like she saw Bill do and aiming it at Pam. "I've always wanted to try this too." She pulled the trigger and staggered back at the recoil as the gun went off and Pam was laced with bullet casings.

Pam was tossed back, her stomach having been hit, and spots of blood started to soak through her pajamas. It reminded Buffy of swiss cheese and she thought she ought to have a bite. She finished the job by tackling her to the ground and pinning her arm, latching on to one of the bullet wounds and sucking the blood through like a straw. When she was done killing her she lifted her head and spat out the chunk of metal letting it clang to the floor. The vamps outside fell into the house together as soon as the metal landed and the barrier lifted.

Spike looked around the room with approval before turning back to Buffy. "You are sexy as a demon."

"I was sexy before."

"Mighty fine." Spike mimicked the southern accent of the man she just killed, making her roll her eyes as he rolled his tongue behind his teeth.

"Would you two stop?" Angelus snapped from the window. "Help me close the damn curtains."

"You two do that." Buffy said, making her way around the house to find the stairs. "I'm gonna find the bedroom. I've been very busy and I am very tired."

As soon as Buffy was gone up the stairs Angelus turned to Spike with a scoffing chuckle. "You are so whipped."

"What?"

"You heard me. Running around, following her everywhere. Getting that chip out of your head. She's just leading you on a chase. Using you. You know she doesn't actually care. You're convenient."

"You think I don't know that?" Spike growled back defensively. "It doesn't matter to me."

"I've known you a long time Spikey. You can't lie to me. It's killing you and it's going to keep killing you."

"Shut up and finish." Spike ignored him and moved to the curtains in the kitchen, stepping over Pam's body to close them up.

"Bad news boys." Buffy called down from the upstairs before jogging her way back down to them. "Two bedrooms only."

"Worse." Spike said pointing at the living room. "No curtains by the couch."

"So it looks like you two are sharing." Buffy nodded at them both with a smile as they both flipped the switch back to argumentative, as if they ever left that state.

Spike yelled, "Hell no! "at the same time Angelus yelled "Fuck no!". These two had obviously spent way too much time together in their history.

"There is no fucking way _we_ are sharing a bedroom." Angelus pointed between himself and Spike as if it needed clarification.

"I will _not_ sleep next to him." Spike added on nodding in Angelus' direction.

"Yeah he snores."

"So does he!"

"Wait." Buffy chuckled. "How do you two know that?"

Angelus and Spike both turned to each other simultaneously as an awkward pause filled the room followed by a bunch of stuttering and non-coherent sentences.

"Um-"

"I-"

"He-"

"We-"

"Never- I-"

"Whatever." Angelus was finally able to say, putting his foot down and stomping up the stairs. "Not sharing!"

"Fine, you two figure it out." Buffy turned to follow him up, wanting to lay her head down. After all those people she was like a human after Thanksgiving dinner, ready for some sleep. "Like I said, I'm tired."

* * *

Miles and miles away in a completely different bedroom Willow and Tara were curled up under the covers. Tara didn't have class and Dawn had already left for school but Willow couldn't face hers. The good moments came and went too quickly with her.

That morning she couldn't even get out of bed the sobs were wracking her body so hard. She really did try to keep it to herself, knowing they needed her at her best to help with the situation, but when it was just Tara she knew she could let a little show. The problem with a little was that it usually turned into a lot.

Tara held her like she always did as Willow cried and cried into her shoulder. Willow finally caved and told her why she had the scratches on her cheek and why everyone kept saying that she shouldn't listen to Buffy. She couldn't keep it in after they saw the deaths at The Bronze in the newspaper.

Tara cried with her when she told her Buffy made it clear who she blamed.

_No matter what they tell you, what they try to blame this on, know that this...this is your fault. I'm the way I am because of you. You killed me. Every action I take, every person I kill, will be because of you. You made me the way I am._

Willow could only sob the accusations but Tara understood them well enough. Buffy destroyed any chance she might have had at consolidation. Tara could only get so far before Willow would break down even further, completely ignoring every word that came out of her mouth in favor of repeating over and over; "my fault".

"Willow, look at me." She refused and sunk her head into Tara's shoulder further. "Baby, look." She grabbed Willow's head in her hands and pulled her up so she could see into her red and poofy eyes. Using her thumbs she swept away all the tears that escaped, avoiding her scratches, and placed a kiss on her forehead. "It wasn't Buffy. It looked like Buffy and sounded like her but it wasn't. It was a demon."

"B-but i-i-it-"

"No. It wasn't her. We're going to save her. We're going to get her back. We're going to make this right. You know how I know that?" Willow shook her head, more tears spilling out as Tara pushed them back again and again. "Because you're going to be the one to do it. You can do anything. I love you and I know you. We're going to fix this."

"But what if- what if we-we can't. What if-if she's gone! I brought her down from hea-heav-he-"

"Shhhh. We will fix this. I promise. Do I ever break my promises?" Willow shook her head. "There see. Then we're as right as rain. If rain was ever right." Willow chuckled a bit and Tara pulled her in for a kiss, ignoring the dampness of her mouth and moving her hands to hold her closer.

Willow shut her eyes tighter and deepened the kiss, pulling them together until there was absolutely no space between them. Tara held her back hard and kissed her just as she needed, distracting her from her own mind as best she could.

Tongues started battling as they sunk further and further under the sheets with their hands roaming. Willow was first to follow the trail of Tara's buttons and pop one after the other through their hole, opening up the top to her pjs. Tara trailed her hands to the bottom of Willow's shirt and started to ride the fabric up her back just as they heard a knock at the door.

"Girls?" Giles called into the room from behind the door. "Are you coming down for breakfast?"

The two girls looked at each other and nodded, knowing that the research they had to do to help Buffy was more important than their need for each other. "Coming Giles!" Tara called back as she redid her buttons and Willow got up to find an outfit to wear. They would have plenty of time to be with each other when it was all over with.

* * *

"Buff." Spike stood at the foot of her bed, tossing off his shoes and shirt, waking her up and moving to the side before she had a chance to do much else but answer back.

"Yeah Spike?"

"Poofy got the room." He pointed over his shoulder to the room across the hall, the kid's room. Buffy was sure to get the bigger bed so she could lie flat in the middle of it, her body diagonal across the middle. "Move over."

"I'm not moving." She spread out even more so her limbs covered every bit of space they could, digging her head further into the pillow.

"I'll fight you."

"And I'll kick your ass. Again."

"Damn demon bitch."

"Oh stop whining." She chuckled as he forcibly pushed her out of the way and he slipped into the side of the bed, moving her limbs with his legs when she refused to move over any more.

Buffy kept her face in the pillow, still taking up far too much room in his opinion, and he stared at the ceiling as random thoughts started popping up into his head. One thought was about how much he wanted to sleep naked, knowing that wasn't going to happen, having to settle with just his shirt off. Two being what Buffy was wearing, half her clothes were on the floor but her body was under the covers. Lifting them up he could see she had on a jersey too big for her, covering anything worth looking at. But at least her legs were bare. She must have grabbed it from the kid's room. Third, he really wanted a cigarette but they were across the room. Fourth, he went over Buffy's plan in his mind again. Well, it wasn't really a plan in the way of having steps or anything. Pretty much it was just a bunch of goals involving mass murder and mayhem, good on all parts. Fifth, he thought about who Buffy was really after.

"Buffy?"

"Yeah?" She groaned in a deadly tone, having almost fallen back to sleep.

"Are you sure about this?"

"What do you mean?"

"About your plan. I mean, sounds good and all on the outside but do you really think you'll be able to do it? They were your friends for so long. I know we're on repeat here and you've said you don't care but sometimes that can get under your skin."

"Yeah they were my friends." She groaned and turned onto her back looking up at the ceiling like Spike, closing her eyes and answering his question. "But what kind of friends were they?"

"Well they're no friends of mine. Well Dawn…" He drifted off not really sure if it needed saying. "Just want to make sure you won't-"

"What? Chicken out?"

"Yeah."

"No. I'm not. And Dawn will be fine. We'll help her through it. Give her a nice juicy human right from the start."

"Yeah I know."

Silence filled the room for a moment more before Buffy decided to break it. "Are _you_ going to chicken out?"

"What makes you think I'm gonna chicken out?"

"You." She sighed and turned on her side to face him as he refused to to turn to her. Momentarily she was a bit distracted at the lack of clothes on his chest, his pecks and arms looking quite nice in the dark, but she got herself back on track. "First you're all obsessed with me as a human. I reject you till the day I die, literally. Then you stick by me as a vamp. You make sure I live to my 'Buffy morals' before handing me over to get re-souled. Then you stop them from killing me. Then you're helping me take my revenge. You switch sides more often than a ping pong ball. Whose side are you on?"

He sighed in frustration, adjusted his pillow, and slammed a hand under his head before answering. "On yours Buffy. Always on yours."

"How? How can you be?" His answer came in the form of a short lived glare so she continued to pry. "I'm not a human anymore. I'm not going back."

"Only makes you more attractive. Like you said. You're still the same person. You're still the stubborn girl I've always known. Stronger than anyone, fighting for what she believes in. You haven't changed."

Smiling she added, "I'm actually stronger now", before chuckling and tossing herself back onto her back and staring up again.

"I meant on the inside but I guess that's a point too. My ribcage can vogue for that."

"And you have no problem with what we're about to do?"

"I was taking over the world long before you were born. I go where you go." He smiled over at her and she turned to smile back but it didn't last long before he rolled his head back with a groan. "I really am whipped aren't I?"

"Like a pup." Playfully hitting his arm she smiled wide at his expression. "Name fits doesn't it?"

"Don't start in on a leash or anything. You'll rile me up too much."

"God forbid. You're already riled up 24/7."

"Oh you've barely scratched the surface."

"So you're saying I should scratch a little deeper?" She reached out with one of her legs until it came into contact with his shin and scratched the nails of her toes up the curves of his muscles to his upper thigh. His body arched up off the bed until she took her foot away and he could sink back down.

"I- um…"

"Sorry did I go pass the normal flirting boundaries?" She laughed at his dumbfound expression as he continued to stutter a response.

"Flir-Flirting boundaries?"

"Never mind." She laughed and fell back into her place on the bed, turning over to her stomach. "Actually, here." She leaned off the bed for her clothes, her legs kicking out the covers and kicking Spike even more until he grabbed her ankles and she was able to reach.

"What's this?" He picked up the item she tossed behind her and held it up, letting her legs go and letting her fall straight to the floor.

"Asshole." She snapped but he ignored her. She pulled herself back onto the bed, crawling back under the covers and back onto her back, adjusting the comforter as he started to gape at his new toy.

In his hands was the small golden dagger that Florica used to cut their palms and create the binding spell. Engraved he could see the fire breathing dragon with red and blue jewels outlining its form. Inside the sheath the blade was just as it looked before, just as sharp and just as deadly. This kicked his other dagger's ass! "Did you nick this?"

"You looked like you wanted it so…yeah." She didn't miss Spike's whistle when it was first brought out and Florica didn't ever ask for it back really. Buffy did put it on the table for a moment but it was in the waist of her pants the next and the gypsy didn't seem to care. Or notice.

"Stealing from a gypsy. You're in for some bad karma slayer."

"Oh karma can kiss my ass."

"Now this, this is a thing of-" He continued to rotate it in front of him, turning to the thank her in some way but then he lost all interest in the knife. In an attempt to piss him off for letting her drop she had moved over even more on the bed, taking up more than her fair share of space. She was directly next to him, her hair was a mess, she was fixing her jersey, and she looked so flustered after having fallen down. She was all he could look at. "Beautiful."

Buffy looked at him, caught off guard by his tone, and found herself stuck in his gaze. He was looking at her. Not the blade. Her. "Really?"

"Yeah." He shrugged it off, looking at the blade in his hands but he knew he was caught. He slowly lowered it down and nodded his head. "Yeah."

Buffy couldn't figure out why she couldn't move but she knew it was even worse than before. They were already so close but she could feel her body pushing her to inch even further. Entirely stuck in his eyes she found herself thinking out loud in quiet whispers. "Do you ever think that maybe we have souls? They're just different than other creatures. Vamp souls versus human souls. I don't exactly feel soulless. I actually think I feel more."

He smiled at her, those tiny cautious smiles he had reserved for moments like this, where all he could feel was completely protective of her, completely drawn in, completely smothered, completely in love. "Careful. You might start to make sense."

"Like I don't normally?"

"No. You were always a smart one."

"We should…um…" Buffy nodded towards the bed they were lying in.

"Yeah we should." He nodded but neither made a move to sleep, both still gently falling into one another.

"If you two are going to start fucking then go the hell outside!" Angelus yelled from across the hall.

"Shut it Peaches!" Spike snapped back angrily before turning back to Buffy.

They both rolled their eyes at Angelus, both hiding their disappointment from the other. Spike was disappointed for obvious reasons, still feeling the need to inch around her, afraid to take what he wanted when she could so easily destroy him. Buffy was disappointed and that shocked her. In her new form, she knew she could take whatever she wanted, whenever she wanted it. But what did she want? Spike only seemed to wind his way up the ladder the closer she got to getting her revenge. She would just have to go with the flow she thought. Next time she'd listen to her instincts. They hadn't let her down yet.

They flipped themselves back under the covers and without mentioning it again said their goodnights.

"Night pet."

"Night Shiny."


	14. Big Reveal

**AN: **Thank you for reviews/favs/follows, especially you ;)

School has me busy like a bee so I'm trying to keep on my two a week updates but...blah blah blah.

I don't respond to reviews because (I'm evil) I never want to give anything away or it would just be a _thank you_ of which I gave you above. Special thank yous come at end. (I'm also mean).

But a couple mentions of Angelus have me writing this, I've always found Angelus a funny evil dude (I like him better than Angel :0, again I'm evil on the inside), and yes he would be the one to kill children. Can't say it won't be the last time for him in this fic. (Again not giving a thing away!) He amuses me. More of his antics to come. And Spike's. And evil bitch Buffy. We're gonna have some fun here.

* * *

Xander jogged into the house coming home for his late lunch break. He had been stuck at the Initiative pretty much ever since they stepped foot in there. There was a lot of work to do to make the space livable and make sure the cells could keep a pair of grumpy vamps. Neither he nor Giles were electricians so it wasn't going too fast.

"So Wills, how's the locator spell coming?"

Willow looked up from her laptop to grin at him, something she was trying to do more often though it never really felt right. "Fine. Just waiting for an ingredient to come in the mail. Same day shipping so it should be here by late this afternoon. How's the cell coming?"

"We've got two working fine. We found a few ID cards and one actually still works. We locked Giles in there for a test." He chuckled and grabbed some pizza off the table, talking with his mouth full. "Didn't look like he could get out. We even got the blood drops to work. Just need to get some pigs blood for them. Though I don't think we should be feeding Spike. But what have you kids been up to all day?" He looked around and found Tara in the living room with an old book in her hands, many more spread out around her. No one else was home. "Book worming?"

"Worming and internet searches. Worming and surfing." She chuckled. "That would be cute. A little worm riding a surf board."

"Adorable." Xander agreed stuffing more pizza into his mouth. "What'd you come up with?"

She sighed and closed her laptop to grab a piece of pizza for herself. Watching him eat made her want a slice. She hadn't been able to eat a lot recently. "Nothing good." Xander waited for her to continue so she did, putting her pizza back down after one bite. "Seems the dark magic I used is what's blocking her from the good kind working. It's like a barrier or like a stain. Like if your pen exploded on your shirt or something. It's there for good and nothing will work on it. To remove the magic would probably kill her."

"And require a big amount of very dark mojo."

"So not possible."

"Not unless we find a really good stain remover."

She smiled at him quickly before walking back over to her computer and gesturing for him to follow. "Also we found this." She opened up her latest search and stood away so he could look. "It's a news article on a mass murder from last night. A pizza place was found with everyone dead inside."

"You don't think-"

Willow shook her head sadly trying not to think about the ending to that sentence. "Really it could be anything but we don't know for sure." She closed out of the article, tired of staring at the photo on the cover and looked around. "Where's Anya and Giles?"

"They went to pick up Dawn from school." Xander said walking over to look at more books on the table and read the titles as he took the late bite of his lunch.

"Together?"

"I think they're talking about the shop or something. I don't know." He shrugged and she shrugged back before plopping one of the rather large books in his hands interrupting his attempt to grab more pizza. "Hey! What's this?"

"Research. Anything that will help Buffy."

"But I've been the big strong handy man all day. I don't want to do research on my lunch break."

"Tough."

He groaned and grabbed another slice in his free hand before joining Tara on the couch and cracking open the cover.

* * *

Everyone in the house of the dead Pam and Bill woke up in their own time. Buffy was that last to get up, not even having been woken by Spike jumping out of bed. When she walked down the stairs she could hear the TV running and saw both vamps separating themselves as far as they possibly could across the room, both trying to watch without having to interact with each other. She was sure there was fighting that morning she didn't get to hear. That wasn't such a bad thing.

"Morning boys. Or afternoon or whatever." They both grunted at her like the cavemen that they were and she rolled her eyes, checking out what they were watching on TV. It was on some commercial with a bunch of cheerleaders going on about something like a new fruit drink. That reminded her…"Where's Cordy?" Again she got another grunt from the zoned out vamps. "Did you guys leave her in the trunk?" Grunt. "Seriously guys? I said not to kill her. Go get her and bring her some water or something. That is if she's not dead already. She's been in a hot car all day. God that's going to smell." Grunt. She moved in front of the TV and those grunts turned into excited shouts for her to move. "Go get Cordelia!" She screamed and they protested back. "Now or I'll break the TV!"

"Jesus. No need to threaten the TV." That was Spike, hunched over and walking outside, double checking the low sun was behind the clouds.

"Someone had a bowl of bitch for breakfast." Angelus muttered as he joined him, Buffy left to scream in frustration as they left the house.

They dragged in the slumped over Cordy, passed out from the heat, and dumped her on the couch. She looked a complete mess, her clothes all dirty, her hair sticking to her head from sweat, fuzz from the trunk all over her face. She would certainly have a heart attack if she saw what she looked like.

"Happy?" Angelus asked, pushing Cordy's legs aside and taking his spot back.

"Ecstatic." She replied with no enthusiasm, moving so they could watch their show. "Get her water, I'll be back later."

"Be back?" Spike asked, falling back down into his chair. "Where do you think you're going?"

"Shopping."

"Shopping? Now? You're going bloody shopping?"

"Valley girls." Angelus scoffed and she took turns glaring at both of them.

"I need new clothes, okay? I wanna make an impression."

"All we need to do is let you lose on them in the morning." Spike mumbled. "That'd be impression enough."

"Seriously slayer, you need to get laid." Angelus reached out and ran a hand around her waist, letting it slide further down her back onto her butt. "I'm happy to volunteer." She laughed without humor and chucked his hand away, ignoring the daggers Spike was glaring their way.

"Just go." Spike said, fishing out a cigarette. "No promises he won't be dead by the time you come back."

"Just be nice you two." She picked up the keys from the table as they were glaring at each other hopefully unnoticed by both. "No killing unless it's a human. And not Cordy. And don't draw attention to yourself. Last thing we need is for them to find us before we get to them." She looked them both over but they were already back with their attention on the TV. Grunting back at them in what she could only hope was a language they understood she walked out the door and ran to the car before either of them knew she was taking it. With a giddy laugh she jumped in the driver's seat and roared the engine, slamming on the gas and whipping out onto the road. Both vamps inside glared at her but she didn't spare them anything more than her middle finger out the window.

Spike took the remote and started flipping through the channels. They had no cable. Just the local stations of which there were three; Stupid, Idiotic, and Bollocks. And there was absolutely nothing good on those. No soap. Nothing but crap daytime TV.

He looked around the house and his eyes fell on Angelus who had already been glaring at him. "Well I'm not hanging out with you all day."

"I'm not being around you either."

They both split apart and in their own time poked around the house, up the stairs, basement, attic, and out the windows, somehow meeting back in the living room. There was nothing to do. Nothing around. Spike spoke first, "We are in the middle of nowhere."

"She took the car." Angelus mumbled, looking around for something else to occupy his time. They could go into town and start something fun but that would require a car, they were so far out. Plus it would draw attention. Not that he saw anything really wrong with that.

"I saw cards downstairs." Spike shrugged.

"I saw whiskey." Angelus shrugged back.

"Fine." Spike snapped.

"Fine." Angelus snapped back.

* * *

Pulling up to the meeting point outside the Initiative Anya picked up Giles and started making the short drive to Dawn's high school. As soon as he got into the car she checked over her shoulder and made sure they were alone before pointing to the back seat.

"Your book is in the back."

"Thank you Anya." Giles turned and picked up the bag the text was in, truly feeling the weight of it in his hands.

"You sure you don't want any help with it?"

"No. I will be fine. Thank you for keeping this discrete."

"Sure."

They continued to drive in a bit of awkward silence until they pulled up to the school and saw Dawn walking towards the car.

Giles turned to Anya before Dawn could get inside. "If you don't mind, I wish to stop at the Magic Box to pick a few things."

"You have to pay for anything you take."

"Yes Anya. No need to worry."

Dawn popped into the back seat and greeted them both as Giles told her they were stopping at the Magic Box for a few things for Willow and Tara before heading back home. Dawn agreed instantly, anything to put off her homework.

* * *

Angelus and Spike left alone in a house with humans, one passed out, two rotting, and only the company of crappy TV, cards and booze to keep them occupied. It went better than expected. They actually behaved themselves pretty well, fighting about the game or the TV or the lights in the house, any reason really, but they would always come back down before killing each other.

At a point between games, when the smell of the whiskey far outshined any other smells in the house, they heard a groan come from the lump of a human on the couch. Cordy was waking up.

They both looked over at her and then back at each other, neither wanting to get up for fear of the other one cheating. Then Cordy made another moan and started to move.

"We should probably take care of that." Spike nodded over at her.

"Yeah." Angelus agreed.

They both stayed still for a moment then rose equally slow, setting their cards on the table, never taking their eyes off the other. They both inched away from the middle, continuously glaring until they left the table.

Spike turned for a moment and got the water but didn't miss the sounds of cards shuffling from behind him. Fine, Angelus wanted to cheat, he would too. When Angelus took a moment to turn to the other room he swept an ace off the table and stuck it in his pocket. Angelus heard the card movement as well and both started glaring again but were cut off by the whimpers of the girl in front of them along with the sound of her ripping the duct tape off her mouth.

Cordelia tried her arms and legs but it seemed both of them were tied together using strong pieces of white rope. Pulling on the rope she could see it wasn't going to get her very far so she pushed herself up into a sitting position and held her head in her hands trying to remember what had happened. She remembered waking up in a confined space. It only took her a few tries to figure out it was a trunk, the sun was shining through the cracks making the convertible's interior visible. Before that she remembered running. Then she was hit over the head. Hard. By Spike. Buffy was there…she was the one who told Spike to attack her. Something was wrong about her. Angel was on the ground in pain and she saw and ran out of the car and…was that the vision?

"Angel?" She turned her head in her hands squinting trying to open her eyes. "What's going on?" Her voice cracked and her mouth felt like sandpaper. She had no idea what time it was but she must have been out for a while. Honestly she felt disgusting. Her clothing crunched beneath her and her hair was a mess and she felt like she got hit with the car she woke up in. But where was she now? It looked like someone's house but she didn't recognize whose. "Where am I?"

Angelus sneered down at her and sank his way into sitting on the small table across from her on the couch. He turned that sneer into a smile, that sad little 'comforting' smile his other half used on the humans. "Oh, I'm afraid Angel isn't here right now. Leave a message after the blood curdling scream."

Cordy's face fell even further as she realized what must have happened when he was clawing at the dirt under the streetlight. "Angelus."

"Bingo baby."

She glared at the murderer in front of her and back around the room trying to establish what was going to happen to her. "Spike?" He smirked at her but she ignored it and looked around more. "Where's Buffy? What happened to her?"

"Nothing we did." Spike said, putting the glass of water in his hands on the table next to Angelus before slumping into his chair.

"Just every vamp's wet dream come true. It's like a fairytale!" Cordy looked completely confused, her eyes darting between the two vamps, and it only made Angelus laugh louder. He stood up quick and ruffled her hair like a little kid, her hands pulling at her head as the move shook what was probably a bad concussion.

"What does that mean?"

"It means, slayer got an upgrade."

"Your rag tag bunch of pals brought her back." Spike joined in without looking away from the TV. "And they changed her. She's got the full package. Teeth, eyes, face, demon all complete with one soul removal."

Cordy stared at him, waiting for him to say he was joking. This had to be a joke. A very mean, very cruel joke. But no one said anything. She looked around and they were staying the same. Angel wasn't comforting her, Spike was giving off that careless vibe and Buffy was nowhere to be seen. Then images of her vision sprung up and she clicked it together. "She's- she's a vampire?"

"And the bimbo's got it! Now shut up and drink the water." Spike gestured towards the glass on the table.

"No." Cordy sat back and pulled her arms up to her chest trying to hide her fear and look braver than she actually was. "I don't want anything from either of you."

"Well then dehydrate for all we care." Spike shrugged trying his luck at the TV channels again.

Angelus walked back around the table and sat next to Cordy on the couch, running a finger up her arm and around the ropes binding her wrists, leaning in to murmur in her ear. "I like you all tied up. I gotta admit, it's not the first time I've pictured it." His hand jumped from her wrists to her knee and she started a futile attempt at trying to lean as far away from him as possible. There was only so much couch before she reached the corner. Slowly, he traced a finger up the line of her inner thigh as he continued to talk. "Sometimes when Angel was lonely, he'd stare at those cuffs you found on the black demon market and wonder if they'd be enough to hold you down. He wanted to know what it would be like." His hand trail up further on her jeans, a finger pushing hard up her center, riding up her waist where he dipped a finger behind her button, making her squirm even more as a whimper escaped her lips. "To be inside you. To make you scream. I might just have to see for him."

Spike heard the button on her jeans pop making the girl's heart beat so fast it sounded like it would come out of her chest any second. Another involuntary cry from her and he had to cut in. "Hold your roll Peaches."

Angelus twisted to him with a great big smile. "Oh come on Spike. It'll be fun!" He twisted back to his pray and put a hand back down on her inner thigh while the other forced her head back to look at him. "We can take turns. Just like the good ol' days."

"You heard what Buffy said. Just be patient. You'll have your go."

"Patient?" He flipped back and stood over Spike's chair, blocking the TV, shoving a finger in his direction. "You, you've got a reason. You're trying to get in her pants. Me? I got no reason."

"You heard her. Kill the girl and she'll kill you. Now move, you're blocking the TV."

"Oh I'm quivering in my boots."

Spike growled and stood up trying to match Angelus' height, but he could never really succeed there, and tossed the remote behind him. "Slayer blood didn't go away for her. Never will. You ever drink a slayer?"

Angelus rolled his eyes at his usual '_I killed two slayers_' bit. "Yeah in fact I have. Should have seen it. She was on her back, literally begging for it, screaming. Gave me some good long scratches down my back. Almost had me drain her. Oh, that was Buffy by the way. You ever get to drink her? She just tasted, oh, mmm, oh so good." Spike's death glare made him laugh out loud and slap him on the shoulder playfully. "Oh cheer up Spike. No need to pout just cus she likes me more. I'm sure you'll get your chance at sloppy seconds. Just like the old days."

Spike ground his teeth doing his best not to fall into the argument Angelus tried to instigate. "She doesn't want you, you know. She's just using you-"

"Like you? She loved me Spike. She ever love you? She even ever fuck you?" The silence between them was scathing. Both with fists as their sides, each waiting to see who would throw first. "God Spike, you're losing your touch. Speaking of, I'm going to get a good touch of my own." He turned back to Cordy on the couch who had long since been trying to wiggle out of her ropes to run away while they were distracted. Of course she hadn't realized that both of them could hear her moving like crazy and vampire strength knots were far too tight for her weak arms to compete.

Spike put a hand on Angelus' arm and stopped him before he could take another step towards the girl. "She can still kill you."

"And look at you caring so much."

"I've drank my fair share of slayers. You know what that blood does to you. She's hopped up on it continuously. That plus she's smarter than you. You don't stand a chance."

"Look at you sticking up for your bitch."

"She's not my bitch. She's just as much her own woman as you are."

"She's not going to kill me. She was the one that wanted me here. Better keep an eye on your woman Spike. Maybe she had other motives. Maybe she had certain needs that you just couldn't fulfill. Kinda like, oh I don't know….Dru."

Spike threw that first punch and landed a blow on the side of Angelus' jaw sending him reeling back. A quick kick was meant to follow but Angelus pounced at the opportunity and pushed him back against the wall with his shoulder, his face shifting into demon form as he did so. Spike slammed an elbow down on the back of his skull and slammed that Neanderthal forehead into the plaster, jumping away when the sheetrock broke.

Angelus twisted around to see Spike all vamped up as well and charged. Spike deflected the first punch but Angelus landed the second in his gut, making him bend over. Angelus took up the back of his shirt with his fists and used it to send him flying at the wall. Spike swept back up to a standing position and grabbed the front of Angelus' shirt to pull him closer, a hard punch to the nose and a second one to the temple had Angelus losing his balance. A quick to the side and he staggered into the stairs, only to grab the railing for support before jumping and kicking both feet into Spike's already sore chest.

Angelus charged and Spike prepared himsef as they collided in the middle of the room. Cordy continued to watch, inching her way off the couch, looking for anything that would cut rope. She couldn't see a thing and she was too afraid to try and get up or she would get in the middle of the fight. Sure enough they were twisting around and Angelus threw Spike into the couch right beside her, almost landing him on top of her. Spike jumped back up and they collided again, this time grabbing shirts and arms and bumping into everything in the house.

Spike didn't see the dead body of Bill from his position and tripped back, Angelus using the lack of balance to punch him and push him further, sending him straight through glass.

"Hey that was the liquor cabinet!" Spike yelled, looking over his shoulder at the rows of bottle that resided behind the glass he crashed through.

"Not my fault you can't take a punch!"

"There's bourbon too." He pulled out the bottle and brought it in front of him. "It's not broken!"

After a breather and a few swigs of bourbon they were back to checking and tormenting the human with the TV playing in the background. Cordy eventually caved and drank the water, her survival instinct winning out against her logical thoughts. Right after she finished the glass Angelus decided he liked her better with duct tape and put the piece she pulled off right back on her mouth. It seemed to be more fun for him, to hear her whimpers of fear muffled in her mouth.

There seemed to be no hope of escape and she really didn't understand what was happening anyway. She really hoped that Wesley or Gunn or hell, even Fred noticed something was wrong by now. Maybe they were trying to call her. She didn't have her phone or purse, they must have taken it. She had no way of getting help and no one to turn to in Sunnydale. Especially if Buffy was behind all this. Who knew what the Scooby gang was up to. She couldn't trust anyone.

She just had to wait and listen to all the things they were going to do to her, never knowing when it was actually going to happen. Every second she hoped harder and harder that her vision powers came with some sort of telepathy. Surely the Powers That Be wouldn't leave her like this. She was there vision girl.

She could only hope.

* * *

The front door slammed open and shut as Buffy walked through calling out for her fellow vampires. "Boys! I'm back." On the couch sat Cordy, looking worse for wear, and Angelus sat on the chair, the TV remote in his hands. She propped up against the door and turned to them both. "How do I look?"

Shopping was more fun than she remembered it to be. She could wear whatever she wanted and what she wanted was to be wanted. Wanted by who? Everyone. But she couldn't help that notice while flipping through racks she tended to be more inclined towards what Spike would find interesting, what he would think of this or that. As annoying as realizing that was, it was how the red and black color scheme came into play. He always did like those colors.

But what girl couldn't resist a good pair of shoes? Her new ones were a shiny pair of patent leather boots riding up to knee length with a touch of heel, just the right amount for that extra punch when kicking someone. Fishnets snaked their way up her thighs only to be covered by a skirt that barely existed. The skirt matched her boots though, just as shiny with black leather, and though they barely reached past her ass she couldn't resist the one that had a slit on the right, showing the end of the fishnets on that leg and showing a tantalizing bit of flesh reaching up her hip. Another bit of flesh teased around her middle as her bright red tube top, tied at both sides of her body pulling her boobs up and out to perky, ended just above her belly button.

The clothes, if they could even really be called that, she did shop at her fair share of adult themed places, were not the only additions to her new look. The makeup bag in the car kept the new palette she was currently showing off. Not only did she have to go two shades lighter in foundation, no blood to darken her complexion, but she also decided to change up the rest of her colors, going much bolder than she had dared to before. The colors she stuck with played through her look with a dark black liner rimming around her eyes, fading into a slate eyeshadow, black mascara pushing her lashed out and red blush fading into the apples of her cheeks, all brought together with a bold and deadly blood red lipstick outlining her curving smile. To her former self it might have seemed a bit much but she did wonders with her tools now and pulled it all together making it the perfect amount of sexy.

New piercings also lined her nose in the form of three golden studs shining on the right. The lucky thing about being a vampire was she didn't have to wait for weeks before getting the studs she wanted or with having to worry about infection. She got what she wanted right then and there. The other lucky thing was that she remembered to grab Pam's wallet before leaving the house. The temptation to kill for her new look was there but really she couldn't make a scene. People would remember her in this outfit.

They would also remember her for her hair. She got it re-done, colored platinum blonde, but not quite as platinum as Spike, with appropriate lowlights and a cut. She really, really got it cut. She wanted something completely new that would shock the world and her hair dresser gave her just that. A styled bob with sharp angles curved inward around her face with bangs slashing down, curved above her right brow.

All in all, leaning against the door with her perfect body on display in her brand new look waiting for them to tell her what they thought, she couldn't help feeling hot.

"Like a slut!" Cordy snapped out angrily as she took in Buffy's outfit.

"Way to whore up slayer." Angelus seemed much more enthused, even looking away from the TV to let his eyes curve up her revealed body. "Looking much improved."

"Where's Spike?" Buffy asked cocking her hip to the side out of habit.

"Who needs him when there's us? Just you, me, and those boots."

"I'm ignoring that. Where is he really?"

"Basement." Angelus answered with a shrug, still checking her out. "Something about tequila. Though I don't see him needing it now."

"Did you even leave the lingerie section?" Cordy mouthed off, forgetting that she probably shouldn't have been with her new knowledge of Buffy being able to eat her alive. Literally.

"What the hell is the duct tape doing off her mouth?" Buffy asked in her direction, smiling at her without regarding her question.

"We got bored."

"It was on Angelus' for a bit!" Spike called up from down the stairs. "Before he ruined it."

"He put it on me!" Angelus yelled back in defense.

"He wouldn't quit talking!"

"God I feel like your mother." Buffy sank down next to Cordy, making sure to prop her legs up on the table and cross her right over the top to show off the ride up her slit, a perfect angle for her black lace thong to be seen hugging her hip. She smirked at Cordy's scoff.

Spike walked back up the stairs yelling back at Angelus. "I can't help it if you're going to talk when the TV…" He stopped upon seeing Buffy and his mouth fell completely open, the bottle in his hands falling to the ground with a crash. He blinked a few times before he managed to sputter out: "You cut your hair."

She stood back up and tossed a hand through it making sure it looked right. "Don't you like it?"

"It looks good!" He quickly said trying to backtrack. "Just...It's very short. Unexpected."

"I want to be unexpected." She smiled coyly and he smiled back slowly walking over to her and meeting her in front of the table.

"And would you look at this." He gestured at her outfit excitedly, feeling more than excited in other areas of his body. "This is the shortest skirt I've ever seen."

"Thought you might like that."

"Leather. That I do."

"Boots match." She kicked a leg up on the table to give him a better look, Cordy turning away completely, able to see all the way up her skirt.

"And you actually look like you have a chest in that."

"Hey-"

"You look like a prostitute!" Cordy shouted from behind closed eyes.

Buffy turned back to her with a sigh. "Oh Cordy. I went to high school with you. I saw what you wore. I make a much better hooker than you."

"You got your nose pierced." Spike babbled out.

"Do you like it?"

"It's sexy." He went back to gesturing her body giving his complete smirk of approval. "You are the sexiest thing I've ever seen."

"Careful Spike, we can see you drooling." Angelus said from behind Buffy, having walked up to get a better look at the back. "I did always appreciate a mini skirt." Buffy stood and smirked at both boys as Spike oogled her front, a hand tracing the line of the top and the strings that held it together, and Angelus ran a hand up her thigh, a thumb dipping under the leather of her skirt and feeling the flesh of her skin.

"Can you not?" Cordy whined from the couch and Buffy chuckled.

"Come on." Buffy said walking away from both men, leaving them with their mouths gaping, and going back to the car. "We have to get to Sunnydale. It's time we paid my friends a visit."

* * *

Willow peeked out the window as a car pulled up to the driveway. She could see the brown and boxy letters reading UPS and she ran for the front door, leaving Tara behind at the table.

"It's here!"

Tara jumped from the book she was reading and hurried over to the phone. "I'll call Xaner and Giles."

"I'll get the car." Willow ran over to the kitchen and grabbed the keys off the table and called up the stairs for Dawn to come down.

"What?" Dawn asked when she reached the bottom, eying the excited Willow holding a newly opened box in her hands.

"We're finding Buffy tonight." Willow smiled up at her and she smiled back as Tara came out of the kitchen nodding. "Let's go." She turned back to the door, box in hand, and led them all to the car to meet at the Magic Box like planned.

This was it.

They were going to get her back safe.

This was the start to her fixing everything.

* * *

**AN: **Buffy's new look envisioned by Emolichic1. You asked and Buffy reveals. A lot. She reveals a lot. (Ha. Ha. chapter title.)


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